All Comments on 'Not Even a Big Birthday'

Nope, I didn't make it last the first page either.

I don't like cheaters & and a cheater who is a braggart is the lowest form of pond scum.

... this was a shit piece story..then i can only say u were brought up not by humans of the species... but animals!

A critic is a man who creates nothing and thereby feels qualified to judge the work of creative men. There is logic in this; he is unbiased, he hates all creative people equally.

Robert A. Heinlein

Ignore the critics, especially the ones who are to gutless to add their name.

Listen to the the honest readers who may offer writing tips.

Cagivagurl

Can make chicken soup outa chicken shiiit, mon

No Spliffs fo ya mon

Good games. But if you get upset at comments like boring ME may not be the category to post in. It tends to have the most extreme comments

Sucked.

Total trash. Unrealistic dialog between completely immoral characters. Nothing to like here.

Please use story tags. This story could have gone different ways and without tags you have to skim to get an idea of your direction. Not my type of story so I am passing but had to skim to figure that out.

I never read the first effort but I got lost quickly. I knew the narrator was an unnamed husband and wife. Some paragraphs in, four characters names where noted with no reference (I deduced it should be Jim, Laurie instead of Jim Laurie) and guessed the wife maybe Karen. The I couldn’t follow who was speaking thereafter and couldn’t pick up the story. I felt the author needed more context (points of reference) up front to continue reading.

Thanks mwestohio, this is my first time writing in Loving Wives and yes i have been surprised how strong the comments were. Perhaps i will stick to Exhibs/V in future. Perhaps more of the LW readers are sensitive because they have Loving Wives of their own!

I assume you did mean LW when you said ME Thanks

WW

Cardboard characters, spouting inane dialogue and doing some really unbelievable things. Even though this is a fictional story you need to have some touch with reality to make the story interesting or entertaining. This story was neither. Nor was it remotely sexy or erotic. A wife that is as dumb as a box of rocks sets up an orgy in which she and her husband will expose themselves to who knows how many social diseases. THIS is a birthday gift????

1 star

You are free to write anything that you like, but readers are also free to post their comments on your writing as well. This is not a loving wife story. It seems to fit best in group sex. To be truthful, it is boring and has no drama or excitement. If you post in LW, you're going to get blasted. BTB, cuck, or just plain cheating whore stories, will all get people who don't like them and let the author know. As to the constant whining about comments from readers who don't write stories. I'm certain that I can write as well as 75% of the authors posting on LW, and 99% of those authors write cuck stories. LW doesn't need me or any other would be authors adding to the garbage that flutters LW everyday. Look at the Hanging By A Thread event to see real authors and real storytelling. Even these authors get some abuse, and you very seldom see them react to it. Write what.makes you happy, but understand that it might not be to everyone's taste and you'll hear about it.

Some critiques of the story to help in writing it

1) the protagonist and his friends are not sympathetic. They are assholes who cheat on their wives with women at work,apparently use their position to get women to sleep with them...why would anyone care about them or want to read about them?

The story is a presumably loving wife doing something nice for him, different, bold, but does he deserve it?

2) the party itself stretches things too far, it is like a sledgehammer,and turns into,not this erotic scenario but something out of a drunken frathouse or something.

The husband revels in it but honestly it makes him and the wife look like a holes.

3) the writing itself is difficult to read,the party sequence and the rules of the games to me was kind of a drunken mess...one trick is to re read the story after several days, and see if you can make heads or tails out of it. Often what we write sounds great in the head but doesn't read well.

4). You don't establish a lot about the couple,we are pulled into the story with no anchor. I am not saying the story that gives what her maiden name was,what he ate for breakfast, but something that sets this up. Maybe have some intimation that they once we're daring but it got stale,try to explain why the characters would do this ( and here hubby,who seems kind of like a sleaze , it would be a horndog getting off,not a husband appreciating a sensual gift from the wife). A good story you care about the characters even if you hate them.

Honestly it would have worked better w the wife and the two women having fun after a party with the friends,the sex as party thing didn't work for me.

As far as those who say it sucks without saying why,threaten you,etc, typical internet trolls. Many of them for some reason are on a erotic fiction site w a category about bold wives yet if anything is beyond a husband and wife having 'normal' sex ( to the a blow job is almost indecent),they freak. Things like open relationships,poly, bdsm elements, swinging, that violate ' the vows we took in front of God ( like,they never heard that marriages are between the two parties,as long as it is what they want,), get immediate anger and rage and threats, which given the world outside should be no big surprise, that seems to be the new norm. You kind of have to ignore them, they are the same as the Twitter warriors who otherwise are zeroes as people, goes w the territory,the best of the writers on here face that.

really well written, enjoyed it. cant wait to read your next work

26thNCuck approved

keep it up

Most of the aholes that comment or rate LW authors work dont even read the story they just write crap as they are little boys who are to afraid there wife will cheat on them as they dont know how to handle it and need to grow a pair. Just dont pay any attention the Anonymous and the others who just write crap. Looking at your other stories you are a good writer and please keep it up. You could put LW stories into like Erotic Coupling, group, etc then will not get all the BS from the little guys with small ones (dicks and brains)

Thanks all. Some really helpful remarks giving me so much more insight into what is expected in LW and generally improving the story with more background etc.

thanks

WW.

To the Anonymous reader who contacted me direct through feedback to my email - thank you so much for an erudite explanation. Fascinating reading and i will take your advice.

Thanks WW

Fun - Fun - FUN! Really!I

I got a little lost with where the spoons and strings were, but a great story concept that was well written.

I especially appreciate that it was published in Loving Wives.

Clearly not a "How to Conduct Your Relationship" manual, but perfect for an erotic fiction website .

Since you can see how low the level is here, even this crap still gets positive ratings!

* ffajaz * what kind of smoothie are you that you dare to criticize other commentators? Are you the omniscient or what title do you hold? It seems to me that something has been blown into your mind too much. Remember for the future whoever posts publicly here and allows comments does not need your help. In addition, nobody has to be an author and publish stories to comment on things according to their own rules and values. Unless you are of course D.Trump at a fake address, then you can also write such crap. But you can see in reality, you don't have to be a politician to recognize shit right away!