All Comments on 'Not What I Expected - Extended'

by NylonDreams

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  • 205 Comments
WargamerWargamerover 2 years ago

Nah, u don’t reward her for infidelity, you do what she she would do to you if the shoe was on the other foot, no questions asked

Scores 1/5

dcvngtn3dcvngtn3over 2 years ago

3 stars for the mention of Balvenie Doublewood, plus a star for good writing. I think many will prefer the shorter version - which is also good - but this one definitely has its merits.

Cringo31Cringo31over 2 years ago

A very well written story with some very thought provoking ideas. If your wife had been drugged and taped but never told you she was involved in an affair could you get past the fact she never trusted you enough to tell you and just kept going on with the affair?

It does make you think and that is what a good author does. Well done

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Bad stuff happens...and sometimes we come through it in better shape than we could ever hope for. It isn't wrong to like a good outcome for people. It doesn't make Iain weak or wimpy to reconcile with Dawn. It takes more strength of character and ironclad confidence to do so in light of the circumstances involved. Hey, Iain did take out two of his arch enemies without going down for the deeds and retrieved the evidence to boot! 5🌟 TANSTAAFL

TajfaTajfaover 2 years ago

I liked it but why did she stop paying into the joint account and stop paying her car etc?

Apart from that I didn't mind the reconciliation. I suspect some will say she said what he wanted to hear and her reasons for her reaction to her "rape" were very contrived.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Really love it I love most of your tales A few maybe maybes but mostly great (jaybee186)

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

The story is this is.

Caught fucking. Divorced. Drudged. Raped. and re-Remarried.

Seven words not four pages long.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Still doesn't explain the financials from her or Mick.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

What a poor bullshit racc

DickSnugfitDickSnugfitover 2 years ago

Much better than the super-condensed version, which should always be read FIRST!

Very few grammatical errors, and as I KNOW that I can be a trifle CDO (like OCD but, in the correct alphabetical order) at times, I will not mention them!

A well-told tear-jerker, well-done, thanks!

King Richard.

Bh76Bh76over 2 years ago

Good read. The blackmail and her not remembering it felt forced so it could be a RAAC. Otherwise, nice job. Someone once told me: just because you can write it in 750 words, doesn’t mean you should. LOL

ImNotanAnonImNotanAnonover 2 years ago

Figured this was going to turn into a RAAC, so I took a nap after page 2.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Totally missing that she wasn't drugged when they MET and she could have walked away but she decided to become a slut. Rated 1

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

The longer version is the better one. Thank you for sharing.

francemanfrancemanover 2 years ago

very nice sequel which completely changes the short story. 5⭐

thank you for sharing your talent.

LenardSpencerLenardSpencerover 2 years ago

Well, Nylon, thank you for an interesting story. It was obviously a delicate, complicated subject. One that many people take black or white type stances.

This story, with its particular set of circumstances, was well written. Sadly, I can sometimes be a bit of an arsehole with my comments BUT... you did an excellent job with this. Many thanks. Cheers.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I appreciate the fuller experience of this story as opposed to the 750 word version. There is always the issue of “what would I have done in the same circumstance” that color ones opinion of the story. The story is well crafted from beginning to end for your vision of the principles and how they would react. Thank you for expanding on the shorter version. As always, there are other plausible endings.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I enjoyed the story of betrayal and redemption. My only hang up is that Dawn blocked the memory of being drugged and blackmailed, yet she continued the affair with a man she despised knowing it would destroy her marriage. Her parents had just discovered the affair and did not have an opportunity to confront her, but at least one of her coworkers knew and didn't try to help.

ScorpioJJScorpioJJover 2 years ago

Much better. Thanks

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Same old story line for gods sake wake up.

JimmyC1904JimmyC1904over 2 years ago

Great story. Great outcome.

Thanks

pepepilotpepepilotover 2 years ago

I have read both stories (even though I shy away from the 750 ones). I would suggest to you that you skip the short stories. In my opinion, you do fantastically well in weaving reality into your writings, which were so lacking in the previous short story. I argued with myself about rating the short story. Had I read this one first, it would not have gotten a 4, but probably a 2.

While the ending will not be popular with the BTB crowd, I like that your stories are usually grounded in the reality of what we live. This is a 5-star story and the abbreviated form needs to be deleted.

Thank you for a job well done.

crazycam69crazycam69over 2 years ago

Great story!!! I would have to say one of the best if not THE best story I've read on this site. 5 stars! Looking forward to more. Thank you!

Vlad2manVlad2manover 2 years ago

In many ways this is a more honest story than most in LW. Yes there was cheating, and some of the justification/explanation was a bit over-the-top, but the understanding that love doesn't just shut off for either the cheater or the cheatee (???) was incredibly accurate. The soul-searching Iain went thru was well written and I feel captured what we go thru when we are betrayed by a loved one. Good job.

dutchcan2dutchcan2over 2 years ago

What story 1 Page and 3 blank pages ????

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Needs an edit you had both parents but then added a widowed sentence then had both dads hugging at the end so.....

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

What has happened to pages 2/3 and 4, just blank pages, was okay story up to then

JJ

firedog451firedog451over 2 years ago

Extended version was 3 blank pages?

dc6370dc6370over 2 years ago

Pages 2,3, and 4 are missing. Maybe it's my phone?

PowersworderPowersworderover 2 years ago

He should never have reconciled. Dawn willingly cheated on him.

-

"I seemed to bump into Niven often when you weren't around."

She listened to all his lies about her husband screwing around and believed them. She allowed herself to be seduced by Niven, long before he drugged her.

When caught, Dawn wasn't apologetic or remorseful. If she hated being fucked by Niven, then the affair being exposed would've made her panic and beg to explain that she was being blackmailed.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Much better than the 750 word one. The rapeitest show go to jail and have Bubba show hem what rape is all about.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

page 2,3&4 are missing?

SerradaCSerradaCover 2 years ago

Very well done, needs a little editing but don't we all. I love a happy ending even through tragedy.

6ulprsn6ulprsnover 2 years ago

Well done. Very ‘real life’.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

What happened? Only one page!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Apologies several minutes later they turned up!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Hi What happened to pages 2-4 ?

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Only the first page uploaded. Where is the rest

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

dont knowabout the ending as everything is blank after page one

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Pages 2 to 4 did not populate

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

So much better in this version. Please continue to tell your stories, in your own way.

Btw, what was the reason why she wasn’t putting in her share to the joint account?

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Wife meets husband's boss and friend and has a drink with them. Doesn't mention it to husband. Boss and friend disparage husband to wife that he's out cheating. Doesn't mention it to him. Wife agrees to meet friend and get's drugged and fucked. Fails to mention this to husband. Wife is guilty of several offenses should give up her ass for life!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I can only see the first page. Good so far.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

An exteded version extended with tree empty pages.

justplaincraigjustplaincraigover 2 years ago

I'm wondering about her not putting money into the joint account for 3 months. What was the justification of that?

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

The fuck was that? I am not a btb neither a raac folower. But this...was a jumblewocky of epic proportions, to just have a raac. Even so, raped at the begining. And then she did it for plleasure. But you glossed that over. No one being raped will moan and scream fuck me etc.. ehat you wrote is plain stupid. Also how easy is raped thrown around. In stories and real life.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

page 2, 3 &4 are blank. Please make the correction and resend.

DaddyWarBucksDaddyWarBucksover 2 years ago

I call bullshit! While I can buy that she was drugged for the first couple of times, and drugs can black your memory ( I have had the docs do it to me more than once so I wouldn't remember a cardio conversation) There was no drug involved when he was blackmailing her. Just the fact of blackmailing her, would necessitate making her aware that she had been raped. BTW IMO be forced into sex by blackmail is a form of rape.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

A very good and simply human story. But what happened to Niven? Was he reported to the police? I hope so!

Freddog6601Freddog6601over 2 years ago

Enjoyable read. Well done. This is a refreshing change from a lot of the LW submissions.

silentsoundsilentsoundover 2 years ago

I can't really get past the rape, blackmail and coercion being let go with a beating.

Cracker270Cracker270over 2 years ago

What a charming well written story. I am sure it will knot the panties of the BTB crowd. As it should.

I do have to admit I grow weary of the drug and video plot line. I am looking forward to a new and believable one

MattblackUKMattblackUKover 2 years ago

That worked well and resolved the story nicely. 5*.

whateverittakeswhateverittakesover 2 years ago

This went from something so superficial it sounded like highlights to something so granular it inspected every last detail. And it didn't offer any new substance. Meh...

FlynnTaggartFlynnTaggartover 2 years ago

5 stars. Still think it was odd the wife's parents were willing to hide it from him and kept pushing them together before they knew it was rape but overall a great story. I like a good reconciliation story that doesn't feel cheap or forced.

Lifestyle66Lifestyle66over 2 years ago

Good story and engaging dialog. But it did go on too long, even for the long version. I'll give it a 4.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

The initial sex was rape. Everything that followed was from Dawn not respecting or trusting her husband to stand by her. She made a conscious choice to have sex with Niven in exchange for him keeping the rape secret. The on going sexual relationship with Niven went from being blackmail to consensual when she paid for the hotel rooms and stopped contributing financially to her marriage. Her coworkers knew of the relationship, her parents knew, and Iain’s boss not only knew but kept Iain out of town so the affair could happen. Iain was betrayed by everyone.

Iain is a dumb simp. Hell he even stayed at the company where they were shorting his pay. For a company to short you pay for months, it takes more than one person to make that happen. Based on people messing with his paycheck there was nobody at that company that could actually be trusted. Staying there was the first sign of how weak Iain is. While the promotion worked out for everyone at the time was offered it was more of a bribe to keep a Iain from bringing legal action over his pay being dock without valid reasons.

Staying true to myself and stance on never taking back a cheating spouse,

1 star for the reconciliation with Dawn

historyandherstoryhistoryandherstoryover 2 years ago

We loved your story, read properly it all makes sense and the outcome is just right. The anonymous commentator going on about the widowed pair, Helen and John, just didn't read the story properly. For his/her benefit Helen was the counsellor, John was Iain's boss. None of the parents had died. Doh!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Vlad2man. I had the same thing occur but I found a way around it. When you oppen each page hit the refresh button and it should come up.

\

MigbirdMigbirdover 2 years ago

Thought provoking, painful story with real, identifiable characters. And so much better than the inane BTB norm that populates the LW category. Liked it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I enjoyed the story but wondered why, after she forgot about the rape and blackmail, she continued the affair since she said she hated it and knew it would end her marriage. And yes, the money, what was that about?

kirei8kirei8over 2 years ago

One of the best stories on the site. You sold yourself short on BTB lover's not liking it. I'm usually one of them but even we know there is an opposite side of the cheating coin. You've ve shown that very well with this story. The only questionable part is why she originally saw the asshole so much when hubby was gone prior to her being drugged; that's the btb in me showing!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

If she had been blackmailed, why did she not tell him at the restaurant?

Dittybopper6989Dittybopper6989over 2 years ago

I did have a problem with the different use of the English lnguage, at first I almost stopped reading the story. I did continue and found a very nice love story. Many parts of a cheating wife story, with pieces of revenge. It did end well and love was in the air.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Great story. Thanks.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

No doubt u are a mediocre or poor writer.Nothing in your stories shows class.infact most are of the same theme same storyline’s and mostly the same words with character names changed…

For example take this story and read your ‘Tomorrow is anew day’…both are the same ditto..

So are many others…why u even make an effort to post here is not understood…Please post here when u have something new to show

26thNC26thNCover 2 years ago

A very well done expansion of your 750 word story. I didn't expect it to go that way, but you made it all work out very well. I'm glad to see the intrepid Scottish lad show his extreme displeasure to Mitch and Niven, although Niven got off much too lightly given his rape of Dawn. I enjoyed the entire story, just as I had the preview you posted.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I normally prefer BTB stories but I enjoy a well written reconciliation just as well. My pro lem is that so many are so lame I invariably don't bother finishing them. I do not grade them or leave comments as after al. I didn't finish. This one is definitely one of the best I've read. I agree with an earlier reader who regretted having read the 750 word story. You really should stay away from those. An excellent 5 star reading. Thank you

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

You forgot to mention the doubly brutal prenup she had to sign for the remarriage.

Demosthenes384bcDemosthenes384bcover 2 years ago

Some questionable leaps in relationship progression but the general path to reconciliation was solid. I loved when your character, John, asked what he would have done had he found his wife drugged and raped. That single sentence framed his path better than an entire page of flailing narrative. Nicely done - 5*

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

A really good story. Not a lot original there, but we’ll done. Best part was when Ian was asked by his boss what he would have done if wife had been raped Etc. Such a good insight.

.

4 ****

afanoffanlitafanoffanlitover 2 years ago

I don't see it.....maybe it's a cultural thing, but a guy who is that successful in his career and other aspects of his life doesn't end up pining for a low self-esteem tramp who cheats on him. The excuse of being drugged felt like a complete cop out....it gave her an excuse for disgusting behavior. Sorry...this fell flat for me when he started pining for a cheater who had to get caught instead of coming clean if she hated the cheating so much....huge logical missteps.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I like this story, but I don't go in for uncritical praise. You blemished this otherwise remarkable effort by fastening a pus filled, superating carbuncle of a mindless "counselor" trope on its ass. "Counselors" are just modern incarnation of the necromancers and witch doctor's of the past. It's sluge that should have been flushed away when the Freud fraud was incontrovertible exposed. The trope is an intellectually bankrupt and lazy way of telling a story. In this case the counseling blabbering unnecessarily extended tale with no rea benefit. There were also a few problems with the dialog involving Dawn's parents.

Nevertheless, I gave this a 5. That's how good the rest of it was.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Lost me a drugging her. I am out. Two stars.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Very nice story, all the pieces fit, well done. This is what I call a great written story. It really works..

koosewatcherkoosewatcherover 2 years ago

Why was she seeing Niven in the first place? Can’t trust her to not do the same thing again. Needs some polishing.

iameaseliameaselover 2 years ago

Well we can just not mention the overly cliched story telling for starters.

I think you had a good idea here and in some places it played out well. But over all everything that happened ie why she hang out with them, why she slept with him, why she continued to, why she was saying "Fuck me harder", everything had an all too convenient reason for being/happening. It would have made the RAAC better if you had worked for it instead of playing it safe as you did.

The emotional part you did get a good handle on. Between the cliches and the easy way out, what could have been a 5 got a 3.

SystemShockSystemShockover 2 years ago

Had me right up until the drug bullshit. A lazy, contrived and downright meme-worthy plot device to avoid having a character take any kind of personal responsibility for their actions, and thus duck the consequences of those actions.

No thanks.

Legio_Patria_NostraLegio_Patria_Nostraover 2 years ago

I've read this nearly identical story elsewhere on this site. However, this one is much, much better. So... John and Helen are next up for the Romance Express? Nice touch!!!

.

5/5!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Forgive the rape. But she consented after to continue the affair. No forgiveness for that. Should not get back together.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Its a British thing, the reservation, the temerity, the lack of communication. I think the British consider it being Reserved, well mannered, civilized? I hope it works for them. Without that plot device, plus the supposed Drugs, it does not bear up under scrutiny:

Why did Dawn not mention to her husband that she had met his Boss and the boss's friend? Are we to believe that at that initial meeting Niven immediately began accusing her husband of cheating, and she immediately began to believe it? And if she did believe it why did she not immediately confront her husband? It appears she used her suspicion to keep meeting Niven, but had no intention of fucking him voluntarily. So why did she keep meeting with him? Did she lie to her husband when he asked how she spent her time while he was out of town?

Just way too many faults in the supposed sequence of events. Did the wife Still think her husband was cheating while she was supposedly forcing herself to fuck Niven? And how did Niven administer the fuck drug, and what was the fuck drug?

It was a good idea for a story, but the execution and methodology were not well thought out. She could have contracted and given her husband a fatal or permanent venereal disease, but she was more interested in protecting her image and preserving a marriage that had become a lie. Not much there to work with toward a logical and reasonable reconciliation. A forced happy ending that didn't fit the details.

But thanks for the effort.

CunnyLinguistTooCunnyLinguistTooover 2 years ago

Great story, definitly one of my favorite so far. A few editing issues that made a couple spots difficult to understand, otherwise a great read.

Mac_LapuMac_Lapuover 2 years ago

Darn, what a great way in the set-up for RAAC.

I am truly impress. But it really rankled me enough that after Mick's revelation about Niven drugging Dawn I stopped reading and just went and jumped to the last couple of paragraphs at the end. It was a great read for me until Mick's revelation and after that the story went downhill for me I lost interest and knew it was RAAC. One simple statement of drug and it just telegraphed to whole plot.

/

One thing I can't get over Dawn. Why she had to pay for hotels and affair expenses during those three months? Why didn't she talked to her husband the moment after she had first sex with Niven. Even if she was blackmailed by Niven she should have vehemently fought the blackmail and talked to her husband. No, she went along as the illicit act has somehow excited her. Many women I knew who had been raped or being attempted never go back to the bastard(s), they cut off contact with the rapist(s), told their families and male family members took care of the guy(s). No, I think Dawn just got excited for while then it just petered off when her husband Lain (lain?) found out. I was hoping to give a (imaginary) beer to the guy Lain for doing what I think I would do but then his brain froze when the "drug" statement was spoken so I just (imaginarily) dumped the beer on Lain's head.

/

Good work, nicely written on the first half but just yuk on the rest of it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Enjoyed the 750 story.

Quit reading the the other.

KJLarsonKJLarsonover 2 years ago

Not actually erotica. Contrived and over-explained. Nominal character depth. Flat pacing. In a word, dull.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I’m not too overly sensitive but I feel like I just read a Danielle Steele novel followed by a soap opera ! By the time I got to the end I was an ooohing aaahing sniveling mess , like I drank some rot gut lye whiskey heavily laced with estrogen and midol ! I need my manhood back maybe I need to drop and do 100 push-ups , do some snatch and jerks on the free weights , take chewing tobacco , install a urinal in my bathroom , turn my wife’s sewing room into a man cave , buy me a monster truck -a Harley and -a muscle car , then knock some chick up and finally become a sparring partner for Vargas ! Hey it was a very well written story and at the end I was cheering right along with the parents , I normally don’t get all into it like that , it was just that good ! Ima give you 5 stars on it !

enderlocke77enderlocke77over 2 years ago

her actions spook of her using the MC as a meal ticket. but then the author made her repentant. not sure what to believe and u used "but" wrong lol. u UK guys should stop using it, it's a dumb word anyway

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago
Fantastic story

Great story can see the effort you have gone to to prove you have got talent. And to me it’s paid off yes there was little bits that needed fine tuning . But otherwise it was a fantastic story and I hope that this site has checked this because theses are the stories that should be in loving wife category with BTB stories. Not cuckold and swinging garbage stories . So yes well done can’t wait for your next story five stars.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I could possibly be "friends" in some way with Dawn but no way would I remarry or be anything more than polite with her as she had no trust in coming to me about the black mail. Maybe she would be afraid I would leave her as to her mind it was an affair at first and not rape but none the less she never trusted me enough to even have that conversation. So her character is flawed where in the future what else would she hide?

I don't see any additional BTB required as he got the prenup as is and he knows the truth and he can move on.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I’m 99.9% not a reconciliation guy but in the rare cases I could be . This is one of those cases

Martyr2002Martyr2002over 2 years ago

Great story and a deserved reconciliation

fritz51fritz51over 2 years ago

As another comment mentioned, the issue of why she was with Niven in the first place looms. In a loving relationship the answer to one partner being absent often can not be seeking out fun with the opposite sex, especially not without disscussion with the partner first.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

One reader said this is one of the best stories on the site. Wow, that's an insult to the hall of fame writers. If this was the best, I'd hate to see the worst. 3*

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

One guy called this a "charming, well written story"? Are you sure you read this story? What's so charming about it? It's a story about a guy who was all gun hoe of divorcing a slut wife and then wimped out. I suggest this guy read the story again.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Some of you need to read the comments from "powersworder", "iameasel","DaddyWarBucks" and "afanoffanlit" and ponder them. Some anonymous made also valid points. "Why did she stop paying into joint account and stop paying for the car"? Still doesn't explain the financials from her or Mick", "Raped at the beginning then did it for pleasure? No one raped moans and groans and screams "Fuck me, etc. etc. ".," No one can blackmail you if you don't want to be. ",

I'm also puzzled about the relationship between the husband and his in-laws, and why was he shorted money by his boss. Parts of this story was very puzzling. The drugs, the rape, the blackmail, her continuing the affair, her not telling her husband about it, until caught. I guess if it's not a cuck story or a btb story, readers overlook the flaws of a story. This appears to highly overrated by many who ignore the questions that are puzzling.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

What I always find strange is that author's don't seem to re-read the stories they write and find some of the questionable faults in them, that readers always seem to find. Some are so obvious it's strange that authors don't see them. There are flaws, that are so obvious that remain unanswered. A good editor would be very helpful. Just a thought.

Regguy69Regguy69over 2 years ago

A very thoughtful expansion of your 750 word edition. I agree with some other commenters, the complete lack of knowledge of her first time rape is too much to believe. Even if she had memory loss, she would likely be aware she had been raped. I suppose the insinuation is that Niven’s dick was so small that she had no awareness he’d fucked her, but that seems unlikely. Still, she met up with him again and he repeated his drug and rape plan. So she has two encounters with the asshole and can’t remember what happened? That’s just too far fetched. Lastly the whole blackmail thing? Well, she knew her hubby had a prenup and he’d promised to bail if she cheated. If you buy the fact that she didn’t “know” she’d been raped, then sure, maybe she continues to fuck the asshole in hopes it will save her marriage. But, how long was she going to be doing that? No downside for good oh Niven, fuck her whenever he wants. Plus how long before he demands she preform for him? Head, boobs, annal all just a matter of time - what’s her recourse? No, the blackmail thing just never works out.

mattenwmattenwover 2 years ago

..... And if they haven't died, then they'll live longer! You wrote a really nice fairy tale story. I think she would have been better off in Romance!

What do you want to say against rape too? With that you have opened all the ways!

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Retired, prefer sensual rather than violent sex stories. Love lingerie and stockings.

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