All Comments on 'Nothing to lose'

I realize that unsolicited advice is often worth what you pay for it, but here goes: Please start using dialogue.

Your stories will immediately become much more readable and compelling.

This is less important, but you may want to reconsider writing the same story from the perspective of the other characters. I doubt that anyone will care. Once they've read the story, they've read the story. There was a trend on Lit over a decade ago to tell the story from the husband's side and then from the wife's side. The second iteration was invariably skipped.

A good idea for a story, but it was dry and boring because it was all narration. You need to actually add dialogue to make your characters come to life.

Thanks for sharing.

People who are going to try to write should learn to read first. This was terrible.

It will be interesting to hear things from the wife's perspective. Apart from that a decent story but felt it needed a little more about the character of the main players and why what happened happened. Maybe we'll find out in the next part?

Piper Hamlin already used that line in a story. It's a good line, but there should be a waiting period.

Did enjoy your story down to earth excellent story. Just keep writing like this and you are going to get a huge huge fan base biggest thing is you better not stop writing lol

I liked the part of the Dave/Steve incident but otherwise it's a pretty generic story that chugs along with the usual "stuff."

there is no need for installments. Post them all at once. Give us something to read instead of these extremely short parts.

Present tense, past tense, who gives a shit? This read like my lawn mower manual. I am on pins and needles waiting for the next version of the same story.

AMerryman 2.0

There is nothing to recommend this story. It is as original as a paint by numbers set.

Meh

1) All narration - Show don't tell.

2) Tense shifts, past to present to past.

3) "Four little words?" What were they? Oh, "My wife's friend Jill." Blah.

Three parts? Okay, your story. Thanks.

Three stars on this one.

Nothing here just a waste of time.poorly written no story development nothing even remotely original.Just rushed crap that could have been good

This theme has been done so many times it's completely boring, but this tale also runs through the scenario so quickly it's almost like it didn't happen.

It's "wife cheats, hubby finds out, divorce, ends up with wife's friend, happily ever after."

There, I saved you some ink.

Great start, and you didn't screw up on the end like in previous story!

Well done! 5

Very non erotic story. Should have been labelled as such.

I loved the story, 5*s and the whole 3 points-of view. I am curious because they were as close as sisters, two things: was there any previous stuff between Jill's ex husband and Debbie. And since you brought the parent into this, what was their reaction to their daughter being a whore? hopefully these are addressed in the two upcoming chapters. ;0)

good bones but felt a little rushed and glancing off the emotions rather than exploring them

There were some good smiles in this one. I especially liked "The fecal matter was going to strike the blades of the rotating air blowing machine this afternoon..."

If you choose to write a story with such a basic, overdone premise, you need to find a way to make it unique or different. One way is to deeply develop the characters so that your audience becomes invested in them. Another way is with interesting or surprising plot elements: how the cheating is discovered, why the cheating occurred, how the confrontation occurs, etc it feels like this story was only the surface level, almost like a draft or a story idea that has not been fleshed out.

I would encourage you to develop more depth to the story and characters.

KB

You can write an amazing story with a simple plot.

It's not the case here. Don't waste your time.

I know we have to wait for Debbie's version. But your flash story left so much out of this one, that it feels too incomplete. Thanks for your work, however, as I haven't even tried to write yet.

But you should have put the wife’s story into this story not making it a separate entry.also a little more story telling would work. What led up to the wife becoming a slut.

The plot was very thin.

Good elements though.

People have different opinions,

but for me, it doesn't matter why cheaters cheat.

Or why thieves steal.

The only thing important is that they do

and then what you do about it.

So I won't be reading Debbie's part.

Jill's part, on the other hand, might be interesting.

4 out of 5, for merit.

Out of the frying pan and into the fire! Just how much anal sex has she had? Maybe she can trade her experiences for a bag of quotation marks, huh?

A good story that could have been better by slowing down the pace and adding a lot more detail. Interweaving the view point of all tree MC's and showing their emotions would have done this. No waiting for the other parts and a great story.

Its something you read in a newspaper.

I hope you do better in the next chapter

I think it would have been a more satisfying read if you included all three points of view in one release.

LMAO pathetic fantasy

Why is it that so many of the authors in LW--perhaps writers is the more accurate term--are fixated on anal intercourse?

Quotation marks and an actual conversation would help you greatly.

So after all Steve had Jill and Debbie‘s ass. Our cuck get‘s a used one.

Cheers, mon

I agree with some of the comments, why 3 parts?. Love goes away and new love rises from the ashes.

Narration is a crappy way to tell a story that involves people. This tale sounds pretty pedestrian at this point! Character development is very lacking. We-The-Readers have not heard a single word from Sweetie, and very little about her except that her priorities are heavily with moving up her career ladder. (Which explains boffing Boss-Man and acceding to his preferences.)

It seems clear that Sweetie’s (supposedly) BFF, Jill, is mainly on her own side. She could easily turn out to be WORSE trouble than Sweetie (a cheating devil Hubby already knows to be career-ambitious.)

3*

But yeah, better than anything I've written.

I will wait to rate all parts after I read all parts. So far its a 4.

You start out by saying "today." Then you use past tense which would be proper, but then you switch to present tense, then back to past. The story is filled with cliche's. As a new writer, you should seek out an editor who knows what they are doing and learn from them. Take you time and try to think outside the cliche' box. This really was not a good effort.

Have you heard of quotation marks?

well for some people say its not good but i like the story and the simple way of a good story

Use your imagination, it's like you took some from that story, and some from this story. There was no character development at all, come on now!!

What is wrong with you ? Love your wife...if she is getting happiness with someone's dick let it be so...why do you have to stop loving her ...I just don't understand..you are selfish

Not bad but a bit short

So his wife fucked the friends ex and her boss. The sick question is how many people are cheating during the work day ? Also what about the travel for work ones ? They guck coworkers and strangers at Will with very small chance of getting caught. A friend fucks a lot of his coworkers over the years and most are the married ones . He says you can talk them into trying anything. We laugh at how the just starting to fuck years and dating years the girls do it all . Bjs , anal , or any wild way or chance to fuck somewhere. Then they get married and after a couple of years that all slows down and even just a simple bj becomes a hassle. Moving to if they cheat or get divorced than everything goes again . Why is it that the hubby who committed in every way gets the least attention when it comes to fucking .

your either the whore or a cuckold. Either way your a moron. I just want to know if your wife is available, my friend is in need of a slut.

Liked everything up until your last sentence. Unnecessary and quite silly.

Why do people keep asking authors about whether or not he or she allows such behavior and why, or call them cucks or sluts? I mean what part of the term "fiction" is lost on so many who leave comments? Fiction, made up, not real. Fucking relax.

Another cheating bitch busted and loses husband to best friend. That sounds about right.

Most of the people that didn't care for the story are so rude to the author. It is unreal to believe that is how your mom taught you that way.

Another comment by an author doesn't know the difference between "your" and

"you're".

A good story that could use some work.

Flipping between past and present tense needs to be corrected. Present tense means everything mentioned is going on right now.

A whole story can't all happen at the same time.

I caught my wife cheating, threw her ass out and divorced her. Her sister came to see me, two days after the divorce was final, and asked me if I was mad at her because of what her sister had done. When I told her that I wasn't, she apologized for what her sister had done and asked if she could take her sister's place, promising that she'd never do what her sister did.

I called her 'bluff' and said, "If you come to bed with me, RIGHT NOW, and can fuck me at least as good as she did, I'll let you take her place."

She looked happy and relieved but also scared and nervous as she said, "I came here because I wanted to and because I think my sister was totally wrong to cheat on you but I don't have any experience so you'll have to teach me what to do. If you give me a chance, I'll try to be better than she was. I promise.

It took a couple of months and hours of 'hard work' and practice but she kept getting better and today, six years later, she's much better than her sister ever was and has earned her sister's place as my wife/partner. My ex is not allowed to set foot on our property.

No interest

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I discovered BTB tonight, it is my new favorite genre!

love loss, no emotion in this at all. very lazy story

What is all this interest in sliding up someones shit shute?

Hope their sides better

Can't agree more. I've tried all kinds of things in a lot of different places, but I've never wanted to stick my dick in a tube full of shit.

It's beyond me why so may authors on this site talk about anal as if it's the holy grail.

A tight rubbery shit chute massaging your dick while you're buried balls deep in it is the most amazing sexual sensations i've ever experienced. First time with my girlfriend I was able to go very slow getting all the way in. Thinking I should finish quick to be easy and considerate of my girl, I pumped maybe 20 and let her know I was going to cum. Having taken a lot of time to gently get to that point, she told me not to come, she was still getting used to it. She made me slowly fuck her ass for another ten minutes before she reached back, massaged my nuts and told me to cum. She told me she hadn't cum that time but she was sure she would next time. Turns out she came every time I assfucked her from then on. Once or twice a week. I don't know why I ever let her get away. The only woman I ever knew that would cum from having my dick in her throat.

You should show the conversations by actually writing out the dialogue. It's a bit of a mess currently, and not at all immersive .

I would strongly recommend doing a rewrite.

Decent enough story, but it lacks emotion, seems sterile. Dialogue would help.

I saw the cliche foreshadowing in these stories of the husband saying I wanted her ass and she would not give it, that is when I rolled my eyes, Pretty much went where I thought it was going. Very mundane and by the numbers.

Don't you realize that forgiveness and vanilla RAAC is the only way to please wannabe cucked?

YEAH!!! A MAN who stands by his convictions!!!

I liked the short story but don't get something. Too many of these stories are obsessed with ass fucking like it's the Holy Grail.

Good question about the obsession with anal sex in so many stories. I suspect quite a few writers in this category are probably bisexual or closet gays.

Very nice, tight writing. Great plot-line, well-executed. 5ive 5tars!

Closet gay? Wow! Congrats MCBS. That was literally the dumbest comment I’ve ever received. When I fuck my wife in the ass tonight, I’ll ask her if it makes me gay. As for bi-sexual? A blow job is a blow job right? LOL.

Thanks for reading!

The thing about anal sex is that in a normal heterosexual relationship it’s not expected. There for if it’s offered and excepted is shows either extreme lust, trust or love or any combination there of. That’s why I think so many writers use it in their stories. And the only ones who go off against it like that are the homophobs who can’t see the closet their in.

The curious thing about anal sex: You either like or don't. Sexual orientation is irrelevant.

I have had gay friends (male) that abhorred it and a little research does indicate that gay men are more likely to indulge in oral sex on a regular basis. I've also had lesbian and bisexual friends that love it. Go figure.

I'm a straight male and have had anal sex with partners before my marriage and with my wife since and I can honestly say while it was satisfying I truly prefer oral and vaginal sex. Anal is a bit of diversion and change of pace, not something I would want other than occasionally. But hey, that's just my take on it.

I liked the series. I feel that you could have combined the three parts into one and probably dropped a page or so...

It felt like I was reading a newspaper article, or a business report, not a story. It needs actual dialog between characters, not a synopsis from a narrator.

There are only a few variations possible in the cheaters caught category but this was a new one for me. I laughed out loud at the "Dave was a one time mistake" confession. Well done! Thanks for sharing!

This isn't a story, it's a summary, please actually write the story at some point.

Again, good quick dump of the cheating wife, but still don't understand the allure of the ass.

How did he first know of his wife giving up her ass? He had just heard an account of a guy bragging. Like, no one lies?

You are good at writing scenes, characters, dialogue, emotion -- all the good stuff that this piece lacks. It reads like an outline.

The story reads like you just took pieces from other LW stories and stuck them together. It sort of reminds me of one of JPB’s thrown-together stories.

“Did this. Then I did that. Then the other. Blah, blah, blah…”

this was kind of good but a little short

"My wife not only cheated on me, but gave him her ass which I haven't had." Why is the internet obsessed with incest and sodomy?

I have to agree with desecration on his assessment.

I got the impression if he "hadnt gotten her ass" that maybe there was a chance at working it out but noooooooooooo not after she gave him her ass....the utmost disrespect any woman can throw in a mans face!!

It's a very good story, but I've gotta agree with the sodomy comments made. What's the big deal about that? Some women will, some won't. If she won't with the husband but will with a lover it's irrelevant. What matter and what counts is the cheating no matter which hole. Hell, even a hand job qualifies as physical cheating. The worst cheating is the emotional cheating that seems to get short shrift but is the most devastating for most of the cheated on partners.

whats the fixation w/ anal sex? Tried in younger days w/o knowing the need for extensive lube, multiple fingers stretching etc, was ok if not happy w/ never doing it. Have been a radiographer during the times of colonoscopies w/and w/o contrast (x-rays)so have had some intimate tho non sexual contact w/ assholes(men)anal sphincters(f and m, medical). I figure the reason blk guys are fixated on anal sex is cuz theyve had the most experience w/ that during their jail terms, but why white guys, latent faggots? Pussies look good, can taste good and feel good. Is the extra tightness of an AH worth all the fuss?

I wonder if the anal sex fans pay attention to what their wives and lovers eat. You're humping a day-old chickpea salad. Not to mention the exciting zoology swimming around in there. For me, it does not sound like a loving act, more like one of dominance. If you love your person, you want to keep them from embarrassment and harm, and railing their rectums seems like it would do both.

The part I found funny is the notion anyone would be turned on by Mary Poppins.

Desecration, you are an idiot. Sodomy has been practiced from before Roman times. Just read Petronius The Satyricon. It describes sodomy back in 66 AD. You are just another dummy Republican!

YAAAAWN.

Seems you were in a hurry to get to an appointment.

Short, sweet and brilliant! 5-Stars!

Bleeegh

5stars for a short, sweet, humorous burn. #Anonymous from 7 months ago#: "I figure the reason blk guys are fixated on anal sex is cuz theyve had the most experience w/ that during their jail terms," WOW! RACIST ASSHOLE! I've never been to jail. Except for porn films, most Black Men aren't really into anal - that's mainly a white boy fetish! We go for pussy. (Yeah, size matters.) It's fits in easier, and causes the woman less pain. A woman that gets hurt, never invites you back. STUPID - THERE'S ANOTHER STEREOTYPE FOR YOUR DUMB ASS!

I thought his wife was wonderful in a different way. She kept the experiences different loving, vanilla for him and wild and anal for her lover.

Of course her selfish husband was too insensitive to appreciate that.

Very good. I read the follow-up from Debbie. It was interesting too.

Good story & follow up. That said, I would have liked this just a bit more if Jill had explained to Jim that after she was aware that he had desire to get anal from Debby, she prepared herself by practicing that act with fake dicks. If she was a "cold fish" with her ex, then who was she doing all this anal with, since she didn't keep a BF very long? IMO, that would have fit.

Still, good story.

To fritz51, was there any mention in the story of Jill being a "cold fish", just she was looking for a good man and not finding one she really liked yet. The jist seems to be her ex husband was a cheating, unfaithful dirtbag who for some reason couldn't be true to a beautiful, faithful wife (what an idiot).

A 3 star story with the capability of being a five...except. One, Debbie was never punished, not even by her grandchild hungry parents and two, Jill could have I introduced him to anal sex other than she did it a lot with other men. That's cold and would put up invisible walls between them.

A good rendition of a tried and true plotline. Obvious from the beginning that Jim and Jill would end up together. Surprising that Jim didn't realize Jill's interest and ulterior motive; some would call her a scheming bitch who definitely was not a good friend to Debbie--but that would ignore her own pain from an unfaithful husband, so...not.

Looking forward to the other points of view. Kudos.

Short and so sweet

Kinda short and to the point. Maybe the other women's story will makeup for it? Can't see "Mary" loving him and going against her BFF.

Bleep. Another caught wife cheating and MMC starts crying.

You have to laugh at the morons who mock the MMC crying when learning of the betrayal. These same twatwaffles cry after their favorite sports team loses.