Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereJames looked at this girl he had come to think so much of in so many ways. A girl that he thought that he might be in love with right now and told her. "Rat I think that I was in love with you long before you ever saw me. I think that I fell for you when I saw you in the parking lot that night." James looked deep into her eyes and said. "As for marriage I think that it is a very real probability considering the way you make me feel. I know that it will be up to you in the long run but as for me I think that I could live with you for a long time."
Ruth Ann asked the next question. "Well I think that your future wife should be able to sleep on the fucking bed, what do you think about that?"
James smiled at his girl and holding the wire that still went to his cock ring told her. "Come here babe and meet you new man."
Ruth Ann came willingly to her new man and she was everything that a man could ask for. Just before James put his cock into her waiting pussy he asked her. "Do you like dogs?"
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 8 years agoStarted with a nicely paced build up, but then came to a very abrupt end, with a totally unbelievable about face by "rat" and happily ever after ending.
Anonymousover 10 years agoMore type more. Cant thr girl getpragnat in next story. And let him sucking on her milking tits. And stay for ever an make him more bays
cantbuymyover 12 years agodid i get your attention? it was a pretty good story. i liked it ended in what might be love and she still had her spirit as is evidenced by her last statement about the bed. you get a 5.
The_Fractal_Kingover 16 years agoThe pace seems to accelerated much too fast, if he had stayed closer to his original plan or if she had resisted the later condition for a bit longer it would substantially improve what is already a very good, well thought out story. James is a compelling (if somewhat frightening) character btw, much better than the one dimensional "villains" in similar NcR stories.
bdsmbillabout 17 years agoSeveral of the other people who have commented made good points. Paragraphs intended to be read on a computer screen need to be shorter than those intended for print. Also, you could use an editor. The constant problems with the grammar are a real problem, and the girl is not believable as an educated woman.
Nevertheless, the story had a certain charm. Writing is like anything else. You get better with practice, so keep practicing.
Anonymousabout 17 years agoYou started with a very deliberate pace, then suddenly jumped ahead to a much faster pace, bringing them to a happy conclusion with the sex. If sex was the ONLY motivation in her life, maybe. Otherwise, it seemed almost as if you got tired of writing and decided to end it quickly.
You show some good skills as a writer, and my comments are intended as constructive criticism ONLY. Hang in there and keep writing.
Anonymousabout 17 years agoif you really want people to read it, cut down on the paragraph size. I quit after one page because it was giving me a headache.
