One Rainy Afternoon

There'd definitely been a storm inside as well, this afternoon. It really was like some crazy dream. I thought again; maybe I'd fallen asleep on the sofa. Was it really happening?

And then, of course, the guilt came. How the hell could I ever look Kiera in the eye again, now that I'd done - well, whatever exactly it could be described as - with her best friend? I looked at my bedside clock, suddenly panicked at the thought of Kiera arriving home. It was still only three in the afternoon; another two hours at least before she'd be back. Thank God for that.

I heard the toilet flush and the sink run. Not a dream, then. I sighed and shook my head.

I sat up again, feeling light-headed. The floor in front of me was still covered in the output from my ejaculations. Taking the box of tissues, forgotten about since that first shock of seeing Jadie looking round the door, I cleared it up and disposed of the mess in the main bathroom.

I had a piss and gave myself a quick wash and freshen up. Back in the bedroom I rescued my underwear and jeans from the floor and put them back on.

I tugged my T-shirt back on as well and sat back down on the bed. I realised I was shaking; the shock of what I'd just experienced only just catching up with me.

3. What the Hell Just Happened?

I could hear Jadie abluting in the en suite. My mind was reeling. What the hell just happened? What the hell was going to happen now? Were we going to sit downstairs and pretend nothing had happened?

It had been so long since I'd been with any woman that I didn't know what to think or what to do. And Jadie was so different anyway; from another generation who seemed to have very different ideas about sex than any of the girls I'd been with when I was her age. Well, younger than her, actually.

Back then it was all kissing and cuddling and maybe - if you got lucky - some experimental groping, which sometimes led to some kind of conclusion but more often than not ended in awkward rejection. But today, with Jadie, it was just... different.

No kissing. No cuddling. No slowly working up to things. I mean, of course, she still had those teenage insecurities which, I was ashamed to say, I found incredibly alluring but at the same time she seemed to think nothing of just... well, masturbating in front of me with complete abandon.

This must be the modern world, I thought; what happens when kids grew up with more porn than they knew what to do with. I found myself chuckling. On the evidence of this afternoon I wasn't so sure that was a bad thing after all.

And I realised that, with us both caught up in the moment of watching each other, I still had no idea what those fabulous breasts actually felt like, or how hot that gorgeous little pussy would actually feel to touch... Was I going to find out? Or were the afternoon's activities now... over?

I really did have no idea as to what was going to happen next. Embarrassment? Awkwardness? Shame? Guilt? I knew there was no shortage of those feelings bottled up inside me, but was Jadie feeling the same? Had we just been overcome by the moment and would forever have to deal with the consequences? My mind was racing through the possibilities. Not many of them seemed to be good.

I got my answer when the shower room door opened and Jadie came out.

Naked. No towel or anything. Just naked.

She stopped and I stared unashamedly at those spectacular breasts. I really had never seen anything like them outside of fantasy internet porn. Just perfectly-shaped, perfectly symmetric and absolutely perfectly-sized. Then I saw her face fall as she looked at me.

"Oh," she breathed, as she saw I was dressed again. What I saw in her eyes wasn't guilt or shame or regret, but... disappointment.

"You've got your clothes back on," she said, quietly.

Stood there naked, now looking utterly crestfallen, she was lost and confused again; the uncertain teenager back in full view. I wanted to take her in my arms and hold her right there; seeing her vulnerable again like that made my heart jump up my throat. Again. Seriously, I was going to have a heart attack before the day was out. And clearly, the afternoon wasn't over.

"I have, it was getting a bit chilly in here," I lied.

I smiled at her frown. With the heating on and the residual heat from our previous exertions, the room was anything but cold. Before she could respond to my lie I added, "But I can always take them off again if you prefer."

She visibly brightened at this, nodding shyly at my suggestion.

"I'd like that a lot, Mr Baines," she said, quietly. Intensely.

I shrugged out of my clothes again, whilst she watched. I lay down on the bed, naked, as she started to re-tie her hair up again in those sexy little plaits which had unravelled slightly, all the time looking my exposed body up and down.

There was a dull ache in my balls and my cock certainly felt used, but looking at her stood there doing her hair, breasts jiggling in that unique gravity-defying way, was more than enough to make me hard again.

I lay back with my head on a pillow and put my hands behind my head to enjoy the view. I realised that, at that moment, I'd somehow stopped caring about it being wrong. I'd forgotten about her being my daughter's best friend. I'd given in to the fact that I was a dirty, immoral, disgusting old perv who should know better. Because, in the name of all that was holy, I realised just how much I really wanted this girl.

Finishing her hair, she came over to the end of the bed. She didn't sit, but placed two hands in front of her, lifting her knees onto the mattress behind. Now on all fours and facing me, she started to crawl slowly over to me, letting those fabulous breasts hang heavily beneath her. I was, once again, transfixed.

Against all nature, they seemed to keep their shape even as they swung, pendulous as she moved closer. The braids hung prettily down either side of her face, and those intense green eyes glinted at me. Once again, the uncertain teenager seemed to be taking a back seat and she looked hungry. Knowing. Dirty. She lifted a hand and pointed at my cock, which despite all my previous ministrations was once more rock-hard.

"Does that thing ever go down?" she asked, giggling and raising one eyebrow in a delightful, playful way.

"Uh, that's kind of difficult when you're around," I said.

She lay down beside me, propping herself up on one elbow.

I reached over and caressed her face gently. It was nearly ten years since I'd been with a woman. And, after all those years of deliberate denial, of throwing myself into bringing up Kiera as slowly the raw grief for my beautiful lost wife dissipated into a dull ache; I finally felt something shift inside.

The guilt and anguish which I had carried were still there, but there was no sense of betrayal any more. I was ready to admit that I was... well, ready. Time to take the next step; to move on. I'd just never imagined that the next step would be so... complicated.

I looked into those eyes. "You are such a beautiful girl, Jadie."

She looked down. I knew she loved hearing that word. Every woman did. But I really meant it, and I wanted her to know. She smiled, then looked unsure again.

"You don't mind that I'm... hairy... down there?"

I was momentarily taken aback. I'd been expecting another 'don't you think I'm fat' moment.

"God no, Jadie. How could I mind that? It's how girls are supposed to look."

"Really? You're not just saying that?"

"No, I'm not. You look... lovely. I've never been concerned with all this shaving and waxing business. I think you'll find most men are the same."

She made a non-committal noise, "Men maybe, but not boys. They all seem to want you to shave it completely and if you don't then they think it's weird."

I shook my head.

"It's true," Jadie insisted. "Bella - you remember Bella, right? - well, she, you know... sent some pics of herself to Ryan Tunstall when they were going out..."

I cringed, briefly remembering Bella. She had been another of Kiera's friends although I'd not seen her for ages. I'd thought she was a lovely, gentle, quiet girl. The idea of her sending naked pictures of herself to her boyfriend was almost beyond belief. Almost.

I reminded myself of how different teenage lives seemed to be these days. And then reminded myself that if the technology had existed when I was that age, I'd have been sending pictures of my cock to all and sundry. My mind refocused on what Jadie was saying.

"...then they split up and Ryan sent the pictures round to, like the whole school, with the title Bella the Bush because she was, well... she was pretty hairy. Anyway everyone seemed to think it was really funny and weird that she hadn't shaved herself. And then that's all anyone called her afterwards, Bella the Bush."

Jadie looked sad for a moment. "It was pretty awful for her. Kiera and me... we thought everyone was being mean and we stuck up for her, and then everyone started calling us bush lovers and lezzers and everything..."

I shook my head, realising now where that awkward conversation with Kiera on this subject had probably come from.

Jadie carried on, "Bella's Mum took her out of our school in the end and she's at private school now. We still chat on Facebook and stuff and... well, I know she shaves now. Anyway, after all that I started shaving it all down there. I didn't want to be laughed at if, well, if something happened with a boy or something, you know, I wanted to be... I don't know, ready I suppose. But I didn't really like the way it felt down there after I shaved and it was really hard to, like, do all round my... bits."

I couldn't suppress a guffaw at that.

"No, really, it was! Don't laugh!" she said, laughing herself.

"And it used to itch, like, much more than my legs or under my arms did. Which was kind of embarrassing, you know, in class and stuff. Anyway I did it for quite a while but, well, it started to look like I was never going to find a boy I really... liked anyway. And the ones I went out with... they didn't seem to be bothered about pleasing me so I started to think, why should I do it just to please them? So I stopped with the razor apart from round the edges and now I just give it a trim so it doesn't go all... jungly."

"Yeah, jungly can be a bit, ah, intimidating..." I said.

We laughed together, before I turned to face her again.

"I have absolutely no idea how you could possibly have come to be naked, next to me in my bed right now, but, well, here you are... talking about pubic hair..." I said.

She laughed. "Yep," she said, looking up again. "Here I am, alright. And I can't really believe that I'm here with the man that I've... liked, and dreamt of for so long and he actually seems to like my pubes..."

The utterly surreal nature of my predicament was thrust home again. This girl - this amazingly attractive girl - who I'd know for so long... She had been dreaming of me, without me having the slightest idea? Jesus, how was that even possible? A flash of worry surfaced again as I wondered again what the hell I was doing, but it soon faded as she smiled up at me. Fuck it, they could throw the book at me if they wanted. I'd stopped caring because she looked so... happy.

"Seriously, I can't believe I'm really here, actually touching you," she said, tentatively placing a hand on my chest and stroking gently.

"I thought you liked to watch, rather than touch?" I queried, jokingly.

She took her hand away, taking my question seriously. "Yeah, I do like... watching. Do you think that's wrong?" she asked, looking worried again.

"No, not wrong. Just... unusual, I guess. I always thought that was more of a man thing. We're all different though in what turns us on. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Well, I think it's always been like that for me," she said, with a cautious smile.

She idly twirled a finger round a braid. She looked so utterly adorable when she smiled, it was all I could do not to take her in my arms there and then. But she clearly wanted to tell me more. And I have to admit I was a more than a little intrigued.

"Has it?" I said, wanting her to go on.

"Well, yeah, I guess," she said. She paused, looking uncomfortable as she continued.

"I like... you know... touching myself. I like it a lot."

She paused for a moment before continuing. "And... we were talking about it at school the other day...

"As you do..." I interjected.

She laughed. "Yeah, well, we were bored at lunchtime and it just kind of came up..."

I chuckled at her innuendo, which made her giggle.

"Oops," she laughed.

"Anyway, some of the other girls were saying, like, how often they... you know, did it... and I was really shocked because I realised I did it a lot more than they all seemed to. Well, most of them anyway..." she said with a significant look.

God, she must be meaning Kiera, I realised before quickly filing that thought away, hopefully never to be remembered. Like I said before, with her mother gone, I'd had plenty of difficult conversations with my daughter over the years about all the usual things. The talk about masturbation was one of the hardest. I remembered just blurting something about it being OK as long as the door's closed, which after this afternoon's events was - in retrospect - deeply ironic.

Still, at least I'd never caught Kiera in flagrante, for which I was grateful. One of the chaps at work had told us how he managed to walk in on his daughter pleasuring herself with a condom-covered cucumber. He told it like it was a big joke, laughing about how he couldn't eat salad any more. But I knew he and his daughter had barely spoken since.

Evidently I'd been exceptionally fortunate, as if Jadie was to be believed, Kiera had been 'at it' quite a lot.

Jadie carried on. "So I didn't admit how often I liked to do it, but I did make the mistake of telling them that I liked... well, you know, looking at... well, porn when I did it. And they were all, like, ewww, that's disgusting Jadie..."

I smiled at her. "Nothing disgusting about that. Nothing wrong with it, at all. If it were a crime, they'd have locked me up for life a long time ago..."

She smiled again.

"Yeah, well, I knew they weren't serious - I mean they were only messing about, you know, not being nasty or anything. But still... it was pretty obvious that I was different from them."

"Or maybe just more honest"

She looked at me, and frowned. Like she hadn't considered that possibility.

"Hmm. Maybe."

To be honest, I did find it a bit... unusual. Whacking off to porn did seem like a peculiarly male activity. I was still intrigued, and rather aroused by the idea nonetheless.

"Can I ask what... sort of things you like to watch?" I asked, gently. I didn't want to push her on something she might be uncomfortable with.

She didn't seem fazed by the question.

"Well, videos mostly. But I don't really like many of the... you know, the actual sex ones..." she said, pausing as if thinking how best to explain what she was saying.

"I think it was because when I first saw them years ago they looked a bit, well... nasty. Scary, even. Some of the things look really, you know... painful. I mean... I suppose I've kind of got used to all that noise and aggression and I do still watch that kind of thing sometimes but that's more for... well... education I guess."

She smiled nervously.

"What, like you take notes when you're watching?" I laughed.

She giggled. "Not really, no. But watching what the girls do... you do sort of learn things. I just don't find that kind of thing all that... arousing to watch I guess. I prefer... stuff with just men, you know... on their own, individually. I like to watch them, how they do it to themselves, you know. And, yeah, I do sit there on my laptop in my room and... get myself off, watching them."

There it was, I thought. Teenagers growing up with easy access to that kind of porn were bound to develop their own 'preferences' much earlier than my generation ever had.

She looked embarrassed. "So I suppose that's where the liking to watch has come from."

"Well, that's hardly anything to be ashamed of." I sensed there was more she wanted to say, though. I wasn't wrong.

She continued. "Yeah, well... recently something happened which sort of took it a bit further."

She paused, uncertain as to whether to go on. I felt awkward; suddenly realising that she might be about to reveal that something unpleasant had happened to her.

"Jadie, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."

Realising what I was thinking, she laughed.

"Oh no, Mr Baines, it's nothing really bad or anything. It's just a bit, well, weird I suppose."

She took a deep breath.

"So, you know Kiera's got that big cupboard space between her room and your spare room? Well, our house is the same and I've, like, got the same room as Kiera. Josh has the other one. Except years ago my Dad knocked through the cupboard wall and put another set of doors on the other side so Josh could get in it from his room and we could share that space for all our stuff."

She smiled, remembering. "It was really annoying because he was always getting in there and messing with my things. But I used to go in there too and hide sometimes, when I was little. And I'd spy on him from in the cupboard looking through the gap in the doors. It was a pretty big gap because I don't think my Dad measured it right when he fitted it all in."

My face must have revealed my concern at what she was about to tell me.

"No, don't worry Mr Baines. I'm not so desperate as to look at my brother... well, not on his own anyway."

I smiled in acknowledgement that she'd read my concern, but was mystified by the comment about being on his own. Presumably, all would be revealed. Perhaps literally.

"Anyway. It was, like, the week after my eighteenth, I think. Josh had come back from uni and had two of his friends round; Tom and Liam. Mum and Dad were out and I was downstairs watching TV and messing with my phone. Usually I could hear Tom as he had a really loud voice and they were usually all yelling at each other on the Xbox. But I realised this time they were being really quiet."

"For some reason I thought something was... odd, so I crept upstairs to see what was going on. It was still quiet so I listened outside Josh's door. I couldn't really hear anything other than shuffling noises, then I heard a girl's voice say, 'Oooh, yes!' I knew they didn't have anyone else in there so I figured they were watching porn."

She looked at me, nervously. I just kind of nodded for her to continue.

"I hadn't been in the cupboard to spy for, like, years. But I suddenly realised that I could get a better look and see what was going on. So I sneaked back into my room and into the cupboard to find out. I couldn't see Josh through the gap but I could see the other two."

"They were on his sofa looking over at his computer screen. And both of them had their trousers down and were... you know, playing. They'd got some girl on cam who was getting them to do stuff for her. It was... weird but, well, really exciting too. I'd never seen anything... you know... live, in the flesh. So I watched through the gap, trying to be as quiet as I could."

She looked at me, judging my reaction.

I was taken aback that she seemed to be admitting that she'd never even seen a naked male in the flesh until after her eighteenth birthday. However, I hid that thought and smiled, instead.

"Let me guess, you got caught?"