All Comments on 'One Storm Leads to Another'

Well that was definitely BTB," with a bit of contempt thrown in. I've always enjoyed the "saw her on television" troupe. Nice addition. Thanks for the effort.

Interesting story. Like it. AAAA++++

Dumb ex-wife!

5

woops, just far to corny for my taste. If I would vote it would not be more than a couple of stars, even though it deserved a Lone Star, that however is for those who cannot string two words together and you are better than that.

Not a bad story per se, but very similar to, and very much not the equal of Jezzaz’s ‘Live From The Game’

Whose Lori?

"'I wanted you to know who did this to you, David. I wanted you to look me in the eyes and see it coming. Now, if you report this there are twelve retired marines sitting at a bar in downtown Austin right now, most are decorated combat vests who will swear I was with them all evening. If by some chance I'm arrested and charged with assaulting you, one or two of them will come back and finish what I started you piece of shit!'

No charges have ever been filed." (I added the word been.)

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Such deep and mature writing. I'm really impressed...not!

Nicely thought out and executed.

Two things that can totally screw up a story for a reader:

1) The FIRST mention that I can find in the story of anyone named "Lori" appears literally in the middle of the LAST (short) paragraph of the story. There is no explanation for her, other than the ending sentence "(Yep, that Lori)".

Which explains exactly NOTHING about who SHE is, and what she has to do with this story!

2) Hubby speaks to his wife before beginning to read to her from his PI's surveillance file, which was created using footage from video/sound equipment installed in his bedroom AFTER Hubby first learned of wife's infidelity just DAYS prior. He says:

"Like this quote FROM TWO MONTHS AGO while you were both lying in our marriage bed after fucking."

Wow! Equipment capable of capturing a conversation that apparently took place months BEFORE it was recording!

Glaring mistakes like this are hard for a reader to overlook!

I consider the story as unfinished, so I am (generously) withholding giving this "draft" submission a rating.

Yep. I raise my San Miguel Beer to MC.

Nice one here ttt59.

I do feel that men shouldn't have anything to do with the cold-hearted cruel whore of a wife once he decides to separate. Needless to have anything to do with a ex-loved one who nonchalantly betrays the husband with a long term affair. Absolutely vile and humiliating for the hubby.

Pretty good story, with a MC who was able to get his ducks in a row quickly after learning of his wife’s betrayal. The writing was good, with only a few minor errors (e.g., nit/knit, your/you’re). For an intelligent woman, his wife made some really stupid decisions, but if she hadn’t, there wouldn’t be much of a story.

Quite good. I didn't get the Lori thing though...: 4*

If you punch someone that hard in the face, you risk your hand. Better the body first, face with the foot later. Good story, though. D

Who is Lori? Been over the story 3 times line by line no mention of a Lori till the last paragraph.

Another story where the husband is better than gold, has never made a mistake in his life, and his wife is the lowest of low-life characters. I do not condone what she did. All marriages cannot be saved bu a forgive-and-forget attitude. Still, unless he is Jesus in disguise, I doubt that he is the crown jewel he pretends to be. His sattitude of no forgiveness will bite him in the ass somewhere down the line. Maybe someday Lori's actions will teach him everyone needs forgiveness sometime, but if you don't forgive, you aren't forgiven.

The words are put together well. The story is all based on cliches (apologies don't know how to put an acute accent on that word on this computer.) Cliches are to be expected on this site, but seriously, you need to add something that is creative to make it worth 4 stars and up.

Yep. I raise my San Miguel Beer to MC.

Nice one here ttt59.

I do feel that men shouldn't have anything to do with the cold-hearted cruel whore of a wife once he decides to separate. Needless to have anything to do with a ex-loved one who nonchalantly betrays the husband with a long term affair. Absolutely vile and humiliating for the hubby.

Good story about what cheating actually does to people. Still need to work on editing!

Not a bad story but rehashing of typical LW stories. Also a name switch with. "The house and savings were split 50/50 but David didn't have to pay alimony. Miracles do happen!" I think think David was meant to be Henry.

“Like this quote from two months ago…”

Wait. He just started surveillance the prior weekend. And though they did talk about prior cheating, I doubt they played recordings of their own prior conversations or exactly quoted themselves for him to record.

And what Lori?

No mention of a Lori in this story. We’re we supposed to cross-reference?

And the spelling of their last name kept changing.

Entertaining story. Using the wrong words in multiple places throughout the story really killed the flow and detracted from the tale being told.

Just what the doctor ordered. Much needed cuck relief.

Who is "Lori"? At the end she says her name is Lori and the author says, "Yep, that Lori". No where is the story is there mention of anyone named Lori.

Pretty good rendition of a common LW trope. The problem with doing a good job is that the mistakes or inconsistencies seem to glow brighter 😱. E.G. —

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“2. They went back to Henry and Mel's house. The PI had anticipated this and had an associate plant recording equipment in several rooms. They spent the night being very vocally sexual in the master bedroom.” So how the fuck, literally an hour or two after talking with the lawyer even as the concert was still playing, did the PI get INTO his house and wire it up for surveillance?

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“Really Mel, you don't know why?" Henry shuffled through the file until he found the page he wanted. "I'm sorry, I should have realized from your conversations how much you wanted to be faithful to me. Like this quote from two months ago while you were both lying in our marriage bed after fucking.” So how does he have a quote from the lovers fucking in his bed TWO MONTHS previously, when the house was just wired that weekend? Actually, a more general comment is just that his lawyer and her PI sure did get an awful lot done in a very very short time 😎

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Lastly….Mel’s reaction to getting served was ludicrous for two reasons: first, how is it possible that she didn’t IMMEDIATELY figure that her affair had been uncovered? And secondly, as a lawyer — and even if she didn’t immediately figure the affair had been found out…why didn’t she take 30 secs to look at the divorce paperwork?

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Still…it was a solid 4 **** effort, and appreciated.

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PS….who the fuck was “that Lori”?

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Not bad, but I feel like any woman that was trying that hard to hide her cheating, wouldn't go to the most public place ever and front row, with her lover. I realize it was needed for the setup though, but seems like she scrambled her brains in order to allow it. Aside from that, a nice little tale.

Also, who is Lori? Guessing she's a character from one of your other stories? Kind of a miss there to assume people will all know who you're referring to.

The backstory of Mel and David overwhelmed the action and the plot. Yeah, they met, played with fire and screwed. We got it. It's especially egregious dropped into an already perfectly-written, well-paced and compelling story. They're in the Uber heading to Moody and then.... boom. The readers can extrapolate a lot from the conversation between Sue and Mel and a bit of a flashback. This was overkill. Great job of foreshadowing when Mel told Henry that she would just stream the concert. To quote Waylon Jennings on on his flying story (intro to BWISTK), "Woops!" Her reaction to seeing herself on the big screen is perfectly normal. OP knows human nature and is a keen observer of the human animal. Also, as an Officer of Marines, his reaction is sure and swift. And thank you for not making Henry the stereotypical LW veteran-- e.g. five tours in combat, wounded nine times, brooding, PTSD, MOH/NC/SS/BSwV awards. Kudos for (that) Lori!!! This is your best story yet!!!! 5++++++++++/5!

I liked it a lot. Eventually, most cheaters get caught because of their own hubris. One thing, the line: "Like this quote from two months ago while you were both lying in our marriage bed after fucking." seems wrong. You meant two nights ago?

Who is Lori?

Not a good story. The writing was fine but both unbelievable and old. It is impossible for a PI to have gotten into the concert before it was over to observe the cheating couple. Has the author ever attended a big concert? Not only that, but in the limited time between the Henry's discovery and being able to somehow get into the concert, the PI had installed cameras in Mike's house? The there is the banal stupidity of a lawsuit, which, of course, is a urban legend that is copied only by writers who know nothing about life. Al in all, a terribly stupid story.

Nothing new but still a good story. Which Lori?

Err, what Lori? I'm lost.

Good story but very confused. Who's Lori? Loaded the whole story in Text aloud and did a word search and nowhere in the story is "yep, that Lori" mentioned! What Lori? 5 BIG ASS FLAMING STARS!

Oh boy.

When LPN says: "This is your best story yet."

He literally and publicly spits in your face.

lori from paying the piper

Not bad at all, well written and well plotted. 5*

You meant role, not roll.

I had a feeling that he'd live-stream the concert.

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Regarding Sue, whenever friends or relatives don't say anything because "they don't want to take sides," they ARE taking sides, the side of the cheater.

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Granted, she doesn't know that he knows, but SHE knows that she's been cheating, she should be able to put two and two together.

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Fucking in the office doesn't affect the firm unless MAYBE the knew about and condoned it. SHE has a sexual harassment suit against David, big time, since he was her superior.

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"I can't possibly tell my parents everything." - She doesn't have to tell them EVERYTHING, just that the marriage is ending due to her infidelity.

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Why would leaving the house be financial suicide for two high earners?

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"You're welcome mam," - That should be "ma'am."

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Who the fuck is Lori?

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It's more likely that Mel would win a sexual harassment suit than Henry and Emily getting anything from the the firm.

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@Anonymous Re: "Live From the Game," good call!

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@Anonymous, good catch on the recording from months ago, I admit that went right over my head.

Typical LW script with new names (which kept changing).

Writing was a bit stilted, with items thrown in that didn’t make sense, such as recorded conversations from months ago yet the surveillance just recently started. The last part was totally nonsensical.

A generous 2 stars.

As per the other commenters below, I had no clue who "that Lori" was supposed to be.

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I liked that he started divorce proceedings immediately, but the final confrontation didn't feel very authentic. Here's a bit of constructive criticism for writing the next story. When people are in a high stress situation, with emotions running high, they don't deliver long-winded monologues. Henry even started going on about his lawsuit against her firm, when he should've been asking her more important things like:

"How the fuck could you screw him in our bed?!"

"How long have you been cheating on me with that asshole?!"

"How many other men have you been fucking?!"

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Also Mel had just been served divorce papers for infidelity (yes she would've glanced through them immediately), so she'd be a devastated emotional wreck. There'd be a whole lot of crying from her, as well as lots of excuses, and desperately begging for forgiveness.

Instead, the first thing she says after he finishes several paragraphs of dialogue is:

"Have you told my parents?"

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If you were intending to portray Mel as a cold-hearted bitch, who didn't give a shit about her marriage, then congratulations, you succeeded. However, that wasn't the first impression you initially gave of the wife, and I have a feeling that wasn't what you intended for that scene.

Anyway, 4* for dumping the slut.

Any husband that forgives infidelity is a naive fool, and it was good to see that Henry knew that a reconciliation is always a waste of time.

Good story. Liked it. Obviously many of your commenters either have not read your other stories or don’t remember them because I believe you used Lori in two of them.

Since I’m not a lawyer, I’m not sure what is legal. I saw one comment or noted that you can’t sue for sex anymore. Is that true when it occurs on company property and on company time?

Lori from Paying the Piper. 'Not everyone is bored enough to go looking, though.

Lori From paying the Piper

Awesome tale. Well thought, developed, and written. I truly enjoyed reading it. My question is, "Who is that attractive woman named Lori?" Thanks for the story.

So, how can Mel and David ensure that they continue to avoid detection of their sordid activities? I know, I have it! How about not playing tonsil hockey with each other in a crowded concert venue during a concert that is being live streamed, featuring Mel and Henry's favourite band!!? That'd be a good first step! I'm just too smart!

I am assuming Lori is from another story? If so which one?

For all of you asking "who is Lori?", suggest you read this author's other works. (Don't be a dumbass!) Lori is a pivotal character in some of his other tales.

I liked the setup in this story and the decisive action of the MC. You still get the 5 stars but the introduction of Lori into this tale earns a a well deserved FTDS!!!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Ditto, Lori?

I think it is funny how Lori Templeton is popping up in many of your stories I really enjoy. I am assuming it is Lori Templeton from Paying Piper and Clarksville.

I have always enjoyed where you have taken your tales. This one took it to another level for me with the fact that one of Uncle Sam’s Mis-guided Children could have the restraint not to kill David after everything that happened (just kidding). I like the way you spun the story to give an evenhanded approach when everything says destroy, destroy, destroy.

I am sure you will have Ms. Templeton with her level head in future stories. Thanks for this one. I am looking forward to more of your tales in the future.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Nice, but went down one star with the bizarre ending.

Who is Lori?

Nice story, Mr. 59. Write another, please, Randi.

Enjoyed the story immensely. Thanks. But like everybody else, who in the wide world of sports is Lori (thanks Blazing Saddles)?

I liked the story, although it was fairly routine lawyers-cheating.

Your Lori reference confused others. I had to go back into your other stories to find that Lori Templeton is a key character of ‘Paying The Piper’. It’d be nice to see a follow up with Henry and Lori.

Suggestion: see how JimBob44 handles crossover characters, as Author’s Notes after the story. He lists names and story appearances, kind of like the IMDB Filmography for actors.

To everyone wondering, "Lori" figures i quite a few of ttt59's stories. That's the Lori that's being referenced.

A nice little world you've built ttt59 and I loved this story! 5 Stars.

Clarksville Lori

Lori?

4 stars - you lost one for the gratuitous violence at the end. It was sooooo unnecessary - Henry had already destroyed the ASSHOLE's career and his marriage.

How did they get into his home with the recording devises. Is it legal in Texas. Texas law favors the man and the adulteress usually come up short. I’ve seen men who left there wives for a newer model .they hardly had to pay any child support. That Texas ,big on guns, put women in the cellar with no abortion rights, only state separate from the national grid. You get the rest!

I thoroughly enjoyed this story... I loved the fact that he cried, mourned the death of his marriage, wiped his tears, after realizing he's done NOTHING to deserve what she's done and got rid of the slut... perioddddd🙃🤪.. there was No woe me, my wife's a slut, I still love her, drunk pity parties.. I can't tell you how much I HATE those.

"Right now, all I want to do is be with you forever. I can't imagine life without you".

👀Huh?😒... why was she fucking her boss than?🤭🥴🤣🤣🤣🤣... if she "love" Henry sooooo much, why was she fucking her boss every chance she gets?🧐... She used tickets that were meant to be for them.... and took her boyfriend out instead.. henry paid for their date honey😫.. Henry probably paid for their whole 6 month affair.. ...if that's love, I'd hate to see what she'd do if she hate him🤣🤣🤣...Henry was 1000% right.. she showed nothing but contempt... she showed him WHO she was, and he believed her... she was a contemptuous, disrespectful lying delusional little slut.. not even a whore💅🏾.. she was fucking her boss for free.. she's also a narcissist.. how can she say " I can't imagine my life without you" when she's been cheating on him for 6 months, had ZERO plans of stopping, was in fact making plans to CONTINUE the affair🤔 (making it permanent perhaps).. she can lie and disrespect him so easily without a thought of him... I'm quite baffled WHY she wanted to stay with him? She clearly didn't respect him, damn sure didn't love him. She was probably one of those sluts that loves being treated like a slut.... but want a man at home to pamper and treat them with respect, love and take care of them...she doesn't want to be a normal single slut.. sluts have no business getting married. They're the reasons the divorce rate is so high.. I enjoyed this story.. I laughed a lot.. I thought the slut was hilarious.. I'm sure there will be a few cucks calling henry an asshole because he has self respect, balls, dignity and self love.. and got rid of a no good slut... he found out what she is

----- BEFORE he wasted any more precious time, energy and love on her... he's lucky... imagine if they had kids.. he'd would've been stuck with her for 18 yrs... this disrespect wouldn't of been NOTHING had they had kids... she would've had him by the balls... I can definitely see her no longer pretending to keep her boyfriends a secret.. that's what sluts married with kids do according to literotica stories👀

To get alimony in Texas you need to be married 10 years. You can google it!!

FYI to readers: Lori is a character in this author’s 2 part series “Clarksville”. After reading today’s story, it took me a couple hours for that bit of info to float up from my deep memory circuits…so I went to check, and yep…she is introduce on page 4 of Part 1.

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Would figure the author is thinking about another story featuring her and today’s MC???

For those asking "Who's Lori?": https://www.literotica.com/s/paying-the-piper-1

I enjoyed the story. I think that I can identify with Henry’s character regarding infidelity. I am not offended by all of the willing cuck stories on Literotica, but it is refreshing to find an occasional one that the husband just won’t tolerate a cheating wife. Please people, keep in mind this story is fictional. Anything is possible in fiction. I do have to join the others that have posed the question, who’s Lori?

Neat and straight forward, the way a good tale is told. A small question or quibble: When I was in Army ROTC a million years ago, there was Army, Navy and Air Force ROTC, but no Marine ROTC. It is possible that people graduating from Navy ROTC could request Marine Corps active duty assignment, but I'm not aware that was ever done. In any case it was nice to see the best attributes of the military officer corps brought to bear in this story. 4*

Ohhh … Lori from “Paying the Piper” (and was she in another one)? I’d say from the reader feedback this was a bit obscure. Probably not wise to assume most of those reading this story would have 1) read your other stories, and 2) fully remembered your other stories. But do I win a prize for solving the puzzle?!

8 out of 10 on the trite meter= score of 2

I LOVE reading the comments.

People are sooo surious...

You did fine. I liked it.

Do consider an editor for the little stuff. A 2nd set of eyes can catch a lot

Great Story!! Loved It!!

Gave you 5 stars for a well written story of a man who accidentally found his 'loving' wife was cheating and he took decisive action. I was lost at that last sentence..'that Lori". I suppose it is a reference to a character from another story.

Probably the best story yet from this writer but I agree, what Lori? Five stars

Very few stories here where the man that was cheated on knows there's plenty of fish in the sea. The only thing missing from this story was dialogue on her remorse or her seeing him with someone else which would've been icing on the cake.

I enjoyed it. It leaned a bit on the cliches at times, and clearly and editor would help.

It did feel a little lacking in emotion, not in anger, but the rest of them.

I'm sure you'll improve as you go.

This is how stories should be told. Well done!

Great story, loved it.

5/5

from KNIT

and the correct word is Speak your PIECE

not PEACE

I figured out who Lori is. Henry is a lucky man!

were you talking about a Jean-Jacket perhaps

2X what Bigfundrew said!!!!

Loved the Lori's appearance in the story

@Mibal_Zahari - Why am I dumb ass for not having read anything else by this author (or remembering it, anyway!)?

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If there was any pertinence. than as someone else said, put it in an author's note, not an offhand parenthetical.

what happened to Drew

Loved your story. Well done. 5

Really weak revenge, not much consequence to the cheaters. Total cliche' ending.

I love it when a man stands up for what's right. Keep writing. Thanks for letting us comment.

You have become my favorite writer on this site. Thanks for sharing your story.

The cuck might want to go to the instincts store, he needs some. The lying cheating bitch held him in complete contempt and disrespect, for at least six months, and he never had A Clue? Another shallow tepid distant marriage, where the two partners fuck and occupy the same house and bed, but hardly know each other. He got what he married, so he got what he deserved. Thanks for the effort.

Great story! Great writing! Loved it a d my favorite part was the "punch in the face at the end! 5 stars. I love a happy ending.

Good LW story. However, a short-story can only support a limited amount of “willing suspension of disbelief” by We-The-Readers’! Hubby takes off from AUS to get to Sioux Falls (neither is a major hub), probably a three-flight trip. Then six hours of solving a high-impact and time-critical problem. A long and pressured day! The benefactors do NOT take him out for supper and drinks to show their appreciation? And, yeah, there is a historic storm, but several of the locals are certainly prepared for it. Then we have a good (but not superstar) band performing in Texas and available in Sioux Falls (certainly cable, but yeah.) Even if WTR grant Hubby gets to the main act opening, the revelation is after the opening piece! And Hubby remembers it … then remembers the attire Sweetie and Boss wear! Who would then continue to remember the opening piece? It was Sweetie (and Sue’s) favorite band, not necessarily Hubby’s! As posited before, a VERY long stretch of WSD!

A combat vet with a papertiger heart.

You seem to be something of a "Johnny One-Note" - aren't you weary of writing about cheating wives? you write well and tell a tight, well laid out story, but it's time to move out of your comfort zone. Try your hand at Erotic Couplings, or First Times, or even a touch of Incest or Non-Consent if that moves you. Time to spread your wings a bit. Let the clueless husbands and libidinous wives rest for a while and challenge yourself.

5 Star. Nice story about revenge and justice, she got what she wanted from David, and it ONLY cost her everything she owned and cherished.

I just commented a few minutes ago, then thought about something and went through the story again. Who the hell is "Lori?"

"This quote from 2 months ago in our bed"

But the surveillance gear was only there the prior weekend.

You obviously think the readers should know who Lori is.....why? I didnt.....

The Bear loved it.5 stars. The Bear approves. But ......Lori Who???

The BEAR

meh - You should have had her get an abortion just for the drama in the comments when she's red flagged.

Question. In these cheating wife stories, the PI seems to have the ability to get into any place and plant cameras. Now, I don't know anything about that career, but there is no way it is that easy, especially hotel rooms Police need a warrant to do the things these private investigators do on a regular basis. Just curious about this if anybody knows. Also, why are they so expensive? Thanks...me

I enjoyed the story, but may I make a small suggestion? Two people in a conversation rarely use each others names. They know who they are. The two leads constantly using the others name rings false and unnatural.

A plot line so well worn it has potholes but well done

Couldn’t get past questionable actions and statements.

Could be all wrong.

ROTC is army obligation.

Fast action by esquires not likely.

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

Some name mixups, wrong words, etc. Some continuity errors, "two months ago" conversation, etc. The "Lori" comment is pretty damn arrogant, expecting readers to have committed to memory characters from previous stories. Yeah, I got he was a former Marine the first half-dozen times you mentioned it. 3* for effort.