All Comments on 'One Wife, Two Husbands'

Interesting story!

5

Interesting concept. But it's another "my wife is a whore" story. A shame as you had something there.

Very entertaining and imaginative.

Please keep writing!

An interesting and worthy story idea that would be better served at 20,000 words than 7 or 8. You sacrifice the heart of your story when you reduce plot to a list of things we are told happened, but don’t experience. “And then they asked me to take over as leader. And then my ex wife begged me to take her back. And then…” is fine for an initial outline, but the difference between an outline and a story is that a story lives with those moments. It experiences them. Characters talk through them, having (preferably authentic) emotional reactions, and the reader has time to wonder what is going to happen next. Time to WORRY about what is going to happen next. Your reader’s emotional journey is guided in part by your characters’ emotional journeys. So give your characters more time to talk and feel…especially in the places where you are creating conflict, suspense, tension, or release. Alternatively, if 7,000 words is the length you prefer to write, shrink the scope a bit so that you can imbue your story with all of these crucial things without having to expand it. Full credit for pursuing fresh and underutilized story ideas at a time when most of LW is stuck on repeat.

Well worth 5*. The focus was relationship with wife so in right category.

anon.1

Amazing. Sci-fi BTB is just as juvenile as the regular kind. What a revelation.

Enjoyed it.

To the Annon who complained that it should have been SciFi, the story was set in some future date, but it was all about the trials of his marriage and the consequences of the polygamy lifestyle. That sounds like LW to me.

What was Adams confession?

Actually, this was quite good. You should have made it longer...you write well.

Great story. Nice to actually have a story rather than a list of events.

Sorry annony, this fits in LW perfectly. Cheating wife who hooks up with a scumbag and they get what they deserve.

A nice change of originality for the LW section.

Good story.

And to the first commenter here? Go fuck yourself with a rusty hatchet.

5 stars for me. It is refreshing to find a new take on a worn-out subject.

kind of a weird ending but i was pulled into this dystopian story, kind of like TWD.

I thought it was a great story line and well written!

You did a really good job here--you created a realistic world in a few broad strokes, and showed how it might work out. The contrasting characters are what really sold it, though--Cass contrasted with Becca, and Mark/James contrasted with Adam. On the one side, we see how people could conceivably form strong poly family units--assuming, of course, that everyone behaves with integrity. On the other side, we see that an apocalypse isn't likely to change the fact that many people don't behave with integrity. You avoid a simple statement ("Poly is bad, mmkay?"), choosing instead to present a story with some complexity. 5 well-deserved stars!

Yup, Becca is garbage in human form. You see a person's true persona when there are no consequences. She humiliated her man, ignored his feelings, broke her new promises, and kept pushing boundaries. She uses people when she has power. Now that her power is gone, she may behave. But so what? The damage is done. The veil is gone. He knows who she truly is under the mask. And its not pretty.

Does not belong in LW.

Interesting, the story fit the definition of LW, so the first comment can blow smoke up its ass. For me I kept viewing Madd-Max while reading; what was missing was the Mordox and Eloi. Oh well can't have them all.

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The story is futuristic that closely parrots today's social norms - cheating, slutting, whoring - all for personal enjoyment never considering or regarding the consequences of such action. Becca could return to teaching at a new brothel enterprise.

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4.4****, Salutes....

A very different type of story, but I liked it. I imagine that there would have been something in the rules about childbearing. The community would need to grow and thus having babies would be very important. Having the two (or more) husbands father babies would help strengthen the sense of community and togetherness.

Mad Max rides again.

Anon so when,

Go back to pulling your pud to fantasies of real men ass fucking your wife.

Which is more probable: that more men or more women survive the apocalypse?

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When Fletcher Christian and the mutineers arrived on Pitcairn's Island, there were more males than females, and the obvious happened: the men who had no women were extremely unhappy. By the time the island was rediscovered by an American whaling vessel in 1808, the island was populated by several adult women, a bunch of children, and one adult man. The other adult males had wound up killing each other. Lots of people won't like this story, but the premise that the men have to have a woman for fuck is far from unprecedented in history.

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Polygamy used to be common, and was accepted, because so many men died early, in wars and hunting accidents, that women outnumbered men enough that some men could have more than one wife. A single woman 3,000 years ago was likely to die, and women accepted polygamy with men who had the means to support more than one wife because it was necessary for their survival, and men wanted more than one wife because infant mortality was so high. Practically speaking, it just made sense.

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Let's face facts: monogamy only makes sense when the number of males and females is close to equal.

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And let's face another fact: not all men are equal in bed. If a woman has two 'husbands' for whatever reason, there's a decent chance that one will be a better lover than the other. When it comes to doing her wifely duty, sure, she's going to prefer doing so with the better lover.

so why to just kill the bitch and the useless guy. Who would care?

In the 70's, I read a post apocalypse novel called Malevil by Robert Merle. This story reminds me of that.

Good one.

. . is that it?

This DOES fit in LW, and was quite an interesting tale.

While I'm not into 'survivalism' this had a different take on changing societal norms, and elements of BTB in what happened to Adam and to Becca.

I gave it a "5" UT to be honest I think the ending was just a tad rushed, especially after the buildup of the budding relationship with Cass. I wouldn't mind another chapter just to move this on a bit further...

...but overall, well done.

Mad Max meets Loving wives ! I have to confess I still enjoyed the story.

Really enjoyed it! This is a potentially great storyline. Just my opinion, but I think this would have been even better if the wife hadn't gone full slut and Adam was not such a jerk. Lots of emotional potential in seeing how that would play out based solely on the wife seeming to enjoy the new partner sexually and the husband having to deal with it. Probably would have had to move into Adam's home due to apocalyptic scenario anyway. Husband could hear and possibly see the evidence that way without the wife acting slutty.

Interesting but I don't think a law like that would last very long before the little civilization destroyed itself.

@anon

This had nothing to do with SciFi. Loving Wives is the perfect place for this great story.

I like it, well done.

Well done, very good read, thanks.

Why bother rescuing that cunt I'll never know.

Story a but different but the plot was done before enough times.

loved the storyline. loved the ending 4****

Great yarn! Sad to get to the end.

Liked it. Turned out right in the end. Reminded me of Road Warrior in its general setting and events- except for the two husbands part. Rated it 5.

I wonder where their electricity and gas came from? Power plants, gas refinery?

I like the concept and enjoyed the story. In my opinion it could have been even better if the wife hadn't become a slut and Adam was portrayed as a better guy. The emotions and jealousy would be ratcheted up if they had to live with Adam and the husband has to see and hear her with Adam. As is, it's almost too easy to move on from her.

My favorite storyline by far is similar to this. Take a long married good and monogamous wife and have her be forced by some sort of unusual set of circumstances to experience others. The potential for gut churning emotions is off the charts. Comparisons, jealousy, and desire all mix together to make for great reading. When the wife gets too slutty, as this one does, it takes a bit of the edge off for me.

Very nicely written there.

That was different and most welcome. 5*

Good stuff. Thanks for posting.

A good story, but as another commenter said, it needed fleshing out a bit more. There was too much narration, when you could have expanded a bunch more of those scenes with dialogue.

The big combat scene in particularly was wrapped up almost like an epilogue, when that should have been one of the most exciting part of the story. The guy giving orders to the men, him firing at the shocked attackers and gunning them down, then the aftermath of claiming their camp.

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One of the appealing elements of a post-apocalyptic story is how society breaks down and new rules are created or broken. After the appalling way that Becca treated her husband, it was disappointing that he didn't find some more creative way of getting some payback when he was in power. Adam was widely disliked during his rule, and Becca becoming his whore would have made her deeply unpopular by association.

At the very least, the protagonist should have taken on a few more wives, to really drive the point home that he wouldn't touch his slutty ex with a ten-foot pole. And her living with them? Screw that. Let her be ostracised on the outskirts of the community, where she can really wallow in her fall from grace.

"Unique" is highly unusual in LW. Fine story. 5*

Whoa pretty good Story, Great Writing! 5 big one for the writer. Great Start. Thanks, Buster2U

You’re good, but anything about polygamy isn’t.

Sounds like the future!

Thought this was pretty good. Kind of like a short story on human nature. So many sides that were alluded to but not fleshed out in depth. Well written, wondering now if this is a teaser for a novel you're thinking of writing or even writing. The apocalypse and why, family unit struggling for survival, joining a community, the other marauding communities and why, civilized society versus anarchy etc. brains over brawn, mergers with other survivors and on and on till everyone lives happily ever after rebuilding. Keep it up. Thanks for writing.

Sorry, but you write like a girl. At least about technical stuff. Major flaw was all the vehicles: gasoline is stable only for a few months in storage, and it is worth more than gold. So operating the vehicles, even if decent gasoline was still available, would be at an absolute minimum; mainly emergencies. The jeeps coming out to meet them, stupid. The convoy of vehicles attacking, in daylight, stupid and pointless. You approach on foot, you attack at night, and you can still use spoiled gasoline for incendiary devices; you burn them out. You believed all those apocalypse Mad Max movies; complete bull shit. And you kinda forgot to explain where and how they were generating electricity and running hot water. But the biggest plot fault was that No One would be hooking up with Becca; Oh, Really? She's attractive, loves fucking, and has no morals or ethics. She's getting all the cock she wants, eating well, and will do just fine until she gets old or sick. Which of course is another plot fault: disease, especially venereal disease. Got Penicillin?

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It was a good plot idea, but really, you don't take some guys wife and fuck her brains out while at the same time giving her husband a high powered rifle and telling him to go off and shoot something. You really think the savages lived like savages because they were uneducated or lacked proper manners? Nature and environment dictate living conditions. This is what is coming if moral ethical civilization lacks the will and the determination to fight and survive. Your wife fucking around on you will be the least of your concerns. Thanks for the effort.

Felt like an episode of the Walking Dead….good story

5 Stars. Well written, good plots and sub plots.

Great story, I just wished it was longer and took more time with certain parts, maybe be better as a series or much longer story but nevertheless I enjoyed

Wonderful story. You don't see that many LW stories with a scifi angle and you made it work perfectly. This does feel like a possible dystopian future. I loved the ending; I know some people are going to have issues with it, but I think it worked perfectly for how this story was going.

5-stars.

Entertaining and different

Good story your writing looks like it has some saddle tramp influence. Thank you for not running another strange car in the driveway story.

A really good story, such a different type of tale for the LW category. I do agree with other comments about this maybe should have been a longer story or could be a series. And I like your writing style, clean and easy to read.

Excellent.

You do realize that there are no longer any condoms, birth control pills, patches or sponges.

I liked your story.

It is commendable that you're expanding the situations, plots, backgrounds of your stories.

The skills of your writing seems to be a limitation to the enjoyment of your stories.

A college creative writing class could help.

I look forward to more stories from you satindesires 🙂😃✍️.

I'm

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AMerryman

please continue

I'm glad you put this in the LW category. Easily one of the better alternate future stories I've read in awhile.

I hope to hell you are going to continue this great story, you certainly ended it with the story up in the air. Seemingly indicating there is more to come.

Fantastic story, 5/5

I had a hard time continuing this at a point in the middle as Becca became so enamored with the situation, but I continued and found that I respected the manner that Mark responded, including the offer to his friend James, of marrying, as required by tribal law, but not having sex with Cass. An honorable gesture but one too difficult to complete, especially with James allowing Cass to seduce Mark.

I too am left wanting more, his loyalty to Cass was expected, as was the agreeing to permit Becca and Kyle to share the dwelling, sans sex for Becca… but it seems there is more story to be told and I hoping that the author, or someone will do a follow up. For the great start, 5 *s.

Usually people say some stories are too long, in this case it felt like the story could benefit from it ot make a second part.

I liked it. As stated many times before me, this paved a good way to more stories from this cast of characters.

It seemed obvious to me that for the law to be effective, it needed to be established that the 2nd husband had to be a good fit to the original couple - essentially a 3 way relationship, like what the MC experienced with the other family.

Anyway, good job

Hope this is t the end, it could go on for a couple more stories.

I give it 4 stars, rarely do I want a longer story but I did with this one.

One of the fastest ways to break down a civilization is to make men share women.

Interesting plot but it would destroy itself unless you don't believe history.😉

Adam abused his camp boss "authority" and the camp realized it. Becca was a cheating slut just needing the right circumstances and having the boss man taken w/ her allowed her to let herself go. His big dick was what she wanted and 3somes were exciting so she pretty much dumped hubby cuz 1- she wanted to explore her slut side and 2- she felt she cld get away w/ it with bossman protecting her, 3 hubby was a known and boring issue, taken for granted, and new, hopefully bigger dicks awaited. Even w/o the end of

times, becca wld have cheated later on, in her"normal" marriage. rk

Interesting concept that someday the USA might face.

Honestly I was looking for the husband to kill off his wife's new husband. To bad he was a cuck instead of a Alpha. Man stole his wife and used her whenever he wanted. Definitely deserved a nice killing in the woods.

Poor feedback on this one. Read 1 paragraph and decided y stomach couldn’t handle your inciteful, illuminated, tome. Maybe your next one will be easier for me to digest. MtM

Excellent story with an opening to read more. Please?