Ooo, Ooo, Bitchy Woman

'You poor thing!' she giggled.

'Tell me about it.'

'Do some of the others jerk themselves off at work over me, do you reckon?'

'I expect so, Jen.'

'Can't be good for productivity. Maybe I should change my office wardrobe. You know, trousers or longer skirts, big baggy tops? Then the guys might concentrate better on what they're meant to be doing.'

'Except I can't quite see that wardrobe change happening. You drive them all nuts and you love it.'

'You know me so well, honey.'

'You only get away with it cos you're a partner, you know.'

'Yep. I can do what I like pretty much. The power, the power. I have a whale of a time. Especially with a certain hunky young trainee. Hey, I wonder how much poor Belinda's missing you. A lot or a very lot?'

'Such a bitch you are, Jenny.'

'I don't hear you complaining.'

'Reason being I fucking adore you.'

'Glad to hear it, sweetie. I rather like you too. And I like spoiling you. Speaking of which I've been thinking about your salary. Are you happy with it?'

'It's ok. I get by.'

'I disagree. I think it's too low.'

'I'm only a trainee.'

'On the trainee salary, yes, I know. But you're not the standard trainee, are you? You're, shall we say, exceptional. You're handsome as the sun and you have a great cock.'

'Why thank you, Ms Gonzalez.'

'A lovely thick cock that the greedy boss lady gets to enjoy on a regular basis.'

'I do my best.'

'Oh and your best is plenty good enough, sweetie, believe me.'

'Thanks again. But fucking a woman like you is not exactly a challenge. You'd give a corpse a hard-on.'

'You say the nicest things, honey. Nevertheless it's my considered opinion that the extra special contribution you make to the welfare of the partner-in-charge of your department ought to be reflected in your salary.'

'Is that allowed? Paying me more than the trainee rate?'

'It is if I say it is. I'm the boss remember?'

'I won't argue the point.'

'Good. So I'm going to double your salary with immediate effect. How does that sound?'

'Double? Jesus. Jenny that's so generous! What can I say.'

'Nothing, especially to the others.'

'Ha, no. I think I'd better keep this to myself.'

'If you would, sweetheart, yes. You can thank me later in bed.'

'You got it, baby. I'll take you to heaven and back.'

'Promises, promises.'

'That's me.'

'Ok so that's sorted. Nice big pay-rise, which you totally deserve and I'm pleased to be able to give you.'

'That's great, Jen.'

'What about other stuff?'

'What other stuff?'

'Are there any other things which would improve your life at work?

'Apart from us fucking even more, you mean?'

'Yeah, apart from that.'

'Maybe I can have a think about it.'

'I have a suggestion.'

'Ok.'

'You know that small dorky guy in the office, Colin something or other?'

'Colin Ball, yeah. What about him?'

'You like to kind of bully him, sweetie, don't you? I've seen you doing it.'

'Yeah I suppose I do a bit. He gets on my tits. No big deal though. Do you want me to be nicer to him or something?'

'I was more thinking the opposite.'

'How do you mean, Jen?'

'I mean the opposite of being nicer to him. How about if I said you can bully him to your heart's content?'

'What, so more than I do now?'

'Loads more. I'm talking about really tormenting the poor boy, making his life at work a total misery. That'd be kinda nice for you, baby, wouldn't it?'

'Er, I guess I would quite enjoy that, Jenny, yeah.'

'Would it give you a hard-on?'

'Tormenting the crap out of Colin Ball? Probably would, yeah. So you're giving me permission to do this, Jen, is that it?'

'Well not officially.'

'What are you talking about then exactly?'

'Unofficial permission. It's my department and I run the show. Any complaints about stuff like bullying end up with me. So if I hear any regarding Paul Browning and Colin Ball, well let's just say I'm unlikely to be doing much about it, you get my drift?'

'Ah right. Ok!'

'So, you know, feel free.'

'That is really good of you, Jen.'

'No problem. I want you to be happy at work. Any immediate thoughts on exactly how you're gonna persecute the poor guy?'

'You sure it's ok for me to do this?'

'Hundred percent. And don't feel guilty about it. There are boys like you in this world and there are boys like Colin Ball. Just be grateful you're in the first category. So, tell me, what sort of stuff might you do to him? C'mon, sweetie, I'd like to hear.'

'Well for a start he's gonna call me Mr Browning.'

'How about Sir?'

'Yeah, or Sir. Or maybe Master because he'll doing a few slave type things. You know, massaging my shoulders, getting me snacks, cleaning my shoes, that sort of shit.'

'Sure, sweetie. Humiliate him.'

'I fucking will. New name for him too. Pussball.'

'Pussball?'

'Instead of Colin Ball.'

'Oh yes, very good!'

'Also in honour of all those spots he's got.'

'Oh yeah, I have noticed that. Yuck. On top of it all, bad skin. Poor chap. Talk about being a loser.'

'I know. What a fucking mess. Pussball is actually perfect. I called him it once at a social after a few drinks and he fucking hated it. You should have seen his face. Really upset. Almost crying.'

'Aw.'

'So I'll just call him it all the fucking time now. It'll make him feel like a fucking piece of garbage.'

'Perhaps I'll start calling him that too, sweetie, whenever I see him. It'll be even worse coming from the boss. As if it's, like, official.'

'You'd actually do that, Jen, would you? Jesus that would just about crucify him.'

'Yeah I will. There's something else I might do too, which could help.'

'Do tell.'

'Like, he's not too experienced with girls, I'm guessing?'

'Understatement, Jen. Bet he's never even been kissed.'

'And he's the timid sort, right?'

'Wouldn't say boo to a goose.'

'Perfect for what I have in mind then. I want you to imagine the scene. For the first time ever I go over to Colin's desk to speak to him about something, ok.'

'That'll have his heart pumping.'

'Yeah, he'll be excited and nervous, won't he. And I'll be wearing a particularly dangerous top, if you know what I mean.'

'I think I do, Jen, yes.'

'Quite. Then while I'm talking to him I lean over so I'm really torturing the poor boy with my tits. They'll be right in his face. He won't be able to not look. He'll be slobbering basically. Famished dog sees juicy steak. I do a few minutes of that, let him feast his hungry eyes and get a boner in his pants, then I'll suddenly stand up and in a loud bossy voice, my best partner voice, so the whole office can hear, I tell him to stop fucking perving on me.'

'Oh shit. He'll be fucking mortified!'

'He no doubt mumbles some apology but it's not enough for me. I give him a loud and prolonged public bollocking, call him a little pervert, tell him if he ever looks down my blouse again he'll be out on his ear and no reference. I say it's official, that he's now on a warning. Any more nonsense of that kind and that'll be it.'

'Jesus, Jenny, he'll be a complete laughing stock if you do that.'

'Yeah, what a fucking disaster for him. Getting horribly bullied by you and now this. Hardly helps him stand up to you, sugar, does it?'

'He's totally in the shit, Jen. That's how it's looking to me.'

'I'd say so. Humiliated by the boss in front of his colleagues, labelled a pervert, and to cap it off told that his job is hanging by a thread. I send him an email confirming the situation. In the email I say his behaviour at work must be absolutely impeccable from this point on. No slacking off, no long lunch breaks, none of that stuff, and on no account whatsoever any eyeing up of me or any other pretty female in the place.'

'That is fucking hilarious!'

'Now here comes the kicker.'

'There's more?'

'Yup. I call him to my office and tell him I'm appointing someone to keep tabs on him out there and if that person judges he's being anything less than impeccable at any time they will come and report it to me and there'll be hell to pay.'

'Wow. He is fucked.'

'Especially because the person I tell him I'm appointing as my eyes and ears is you, sweetie.'

'I fucking love it! Jennifer Gonzalez, you are the best.'

'It is delicious, isn't it. He'll be terrified of you now. Forever shitting his pants that you might just on a whim decide to go tell the big boss lady, moi, that he's been misbehaving. Course he won't have been, we've got him all scared for his job, but that's not the point. It'd be your word against his.'

'And since I happen to be fucking the boss lady and she loves my cock she'd choose to believe me over him, Jen, wouldn't she?'

'She would. And you can tell Colin that, sweetheart, that I worship your cock, so he really gets the picture. Bottom line is you now own him. You have all the power and he has none. Total domination.'

'Total domination. I'm sure I can get used to that.'

'Your dick's getting hard just thinking about it, sweetie, isn't it. I can tell.'

'Does that make me a bad person?'

'Of course not, honey. Like I say, winners and losers.'

'Winners and losers. So true.'

'Hey sweetie, it looks like you're finished there. Why don't you go get us another drink. Just put it on my tab.'

'Will do.'

Paul got up and went to bar. It gave Jenny a chance to check her messages. Quelle surprise there was another one from Martin Robbins pleading for a second date. He would accept her 'rules', he said. Please call him. Jenny showed it to Paul when he returned. 'This is what desperation looks like,' she giggled.

Paul grinned. 'Sad bastard.'

'I know. Men are so predictable. So, what do you reckon, sweetheart, how long should I make him wait for his second date?'

'Hmm, dunno. Two weeks?'

'Let's make it four.'

'Four? The poor guy will boil over!'

'Ok, three then. Truth is, I'm rather looking forward to it myself. I'll probably show him the photo of my breasts this time.'

'And he kisses it, right? Oh god, Jen, I can't believe you sometimes. Sad really is the word if he does that.'

'He will, trust me. Any case, sweetie, enough of him. Where were we?'

'We were talking about me dominating Pussball.'

'Ah yes, and how I plan to help. Another thing I'll do is arrange for him to move desks and sit by you, so the big bad bully has his victim close to hand. Easier for you and much worse for him. No escape for the poor thing, no respite whatsoever.'

'You think of everything, Jen.'

'Secret of my success, honey.'

'I'm almost feeling sorry for him now.'

'Oh me too. What a life. Bullied remorselessly by this heartless bastard who sits right next to him, so bad he can hardly face coming to work, and has to just suck it up because his tormentor is sleeping with the boss. Cool plan or what?'

'It really is.'

Hey, and you can tell me all about it sometimes when we're in bed.'

'About tormenting Pussball?'

'Yeah. I'll enjoy listening to what you've been up to. I'll treat you to a nice long sloppy blowjob while you describe the gory details. Reward you for being such a bastard. Make the cruel bully feel like a king.'

'You're sick, Jen.'

'Yeah. But don't pretend you don't love the idea.'

'Oh I do. I can see it now, typical day, me chatting to him. Morning Pussball, how's it hanging? Hey Pussball, how about getting me a coffee? Pussball, go and tell Caroline she's looking particularly nice today.'

'Caroline Fisher? But she never looks that nice, does she?

'Not really, no. She's a bit of a dog. That's kind of the point. It'll be really funny. Embarrass them both.'

'Oh I see, yes. God, I'd so hate to be a girl like that. Life wouldn't be any fun at all.'

'Well you don't need to worry about that, Jenny, do you?'

'Poor Caroline. Jessica on the hand. She's quite pretty, isn't she?'

'Guess so.'

'Don't be coy, sweetie, I won't be jealous or anything. Jessica Todd is definitely a pretty girl.'

'Ok, so what. I'm not interested.'

'I know that, duh. But, you know, that could be funny too, if you tell Pussball to go over to Jessica and tell her he thinks she's very pretty and he really likes what she's wearing.'

'Oh god yeah, it really would. Jessica would die laughing. He'd look such a jerk.'

'It will add to the humiliation if it's in front of a pretty girl. That's a thought actually. Do you think Jessica might enjoy something like that?'

'Yeah I reckon she might. She's that sort of girl.'

'Great, so how about this? We bring her in on things a little bit. Don't tell her about me and you, I don't mean that, but let her share in some of the fun from time to time.'

'Yeah ok, Jen, great idea.

'For example, you tell him he must refer to Jessica as Princess whenever he speaks to her, keep sending him trotting over to her desk to express his undying devotion and ask her if there's anything she wants, then just see what Jessica does. Like, she'll probably tell him he's a creep and shoo him away, or whatever, but then again she might get into the whole thing and have some fun with it, make him bow and scrape to her, give her a foot massage perhaps, which can be combined with a game of tease-the-perv, especially if she happens to be wearing a short skirt. Jessica Todd does wear short skirts sometimes, I believe.'

'Damn right she does. You're her role model, Jen. I've heard her say so.'

'Really? That is so flattering. Perhaps I should give her a rise too. Reduce Caroline Fisher's salary and use it to give more money to pretty little Jessica.'

'Jess would appreciate it, I'm sure. Bit tough on poor Caroline, though, don't you think? She works hard.'

'It wasn't a serious suggestion, sweetie.'

'Thank goodness for that. But hey, look, this stuff with Jess, it's a good idea, I get it that it adds a nice twist to his humiliation for a pretty girl to be meting it out, but this is only in the downtime when I'm not fucking with him, right?'

'Oh yes. Your needs take precedence. Nothing must interfere with that. Jessica is a sideshow.'

'What about other people in the office? Do they get a piece of the action? Phil's a real cunt, for example. He'd love to get involved.'

'No, strictly forbidden. Tough shit if that pisses anybody off. We don't want open house with this.'

'Ok, Jen, great'

'Any case people can always watch, sweetie, can't they? Like, I can imagine Colin Ball giving Jessica Todd a foot massage would draw quite an audience, and that's fine. I might even watch it myself.'

'Me too. I'll see you there for that one.'

'The final nail in his coffin that will be. The point at which all hope disappears. He's under Jessica's desk, slavishly rubbing her feet, when the boss appears, and rather than putting a stop to it I just look at him and grin, say hi there Pussball, having a nice time down there? Or I don't grin, I do my stern face and snap, Pussball, what the fuck are you doing under Jessica's desk when she's trying to work, is this what I pay you for? Jesus you're such a prick. Get up and say sorry to Jessica.'

'Hey would that count as an official misdemeanour, Jen, if you go for the second option?'

'I suppose it could, sweetie, yes.'

'I'm meant to report that to you then, aren't I?'

'Yep. But given I'm right there it's already done. He's busted.'

'So there should now be hell to pay, quoting your famous email.'

'Absolutely right. He has officially transgressed. So what we do, you and I, is take him to my office, lock the door, and punish him. We have no choice.'

'What sort of punishment do you have in mind, Jenny?'

'That is such a good question! Let's sketch it out now, sweetheart.'

'Ok, you start.'

'You don't mind?'

'Not at all, Jen. I sense you've been thinking about it.'

'Right. So first of all I'll make him drop his pants and we can have a giggle at his teeny tiny cock. Because it will be small, honey, won't it?'

'No much doubt there, Jen. It'll be a small one.'

'Maybe I'll stroke it so he gets a pathetic little hard-on.'

'Female hand on his cock. That'll be a thrilling first for him.'

'Don't worry, I'm only giving him an erection so I can laugh at it and tell him, oh dear, that will never satisfy a woman, he'll never get anywhere with the girls if that's all he has. What on earth would Princess Jessica say if she could see it?'

'Harsh but fair, Jen.'

'Then you can whip yours out and show him a proper cock, the one that gets to slide inside the boss. I'll have him kneel in front of you and take a good close look. Isn't it magnificent, Pussball? I'll say. Go on, you tell Paul that. Tell King Paul what a magnificent cock he has. Congratulate him on it.'

'So funny. You're a scream, Jen.'

'Then I'll come behind you and reach around, take that lovely big cock of yours in my hand, and I'll wank you off while he kneels there and watches. When you cum we'll shoot it in his face and make him swallow some like a little slut.'

'Then he can be a little doggie, Jen, can't he? Crawl around your office going woof woof.'

'Yep. And I'll keep a cane in there so we can employ that. We'll bend him over my desk and take turns to whup him. Have ourselves a serious caning competition. Keep going till his ass is red raw.'

'Bet I win.'

'Course you will, honey. You're much stronger. You're a big hunky guy and I'm just a cute sexy girl. No contest. But I'll do my best.'

'I'm sure you will, Jen.'

'Anyway we need to wrap this up now, sweetie. The bar's closing up.'

'Fine by me, Jen. I don't want another drink anyway. I've had enough booze. I have a hot chick to satisfy tonight.'

'Damn right.'

'Her name is Jennifer Gonzalez and she expects the best. Has high standards.'

'I do. Especially after your pay rise.'

'So are we finished with punishing Pussball for his misdemeanour.?'

'Hmm, not quite. They're not kicking us out, we have a few minutes. We need something outstanding to cap things off before we send the poor little chap back to his desk to resume his working day. End with a bang.'

'We owe that to ourselves, Jenny, don't we?'

'So do you have a suggestion?'

'I'd rather hear yours, Jen.'

'Ok. So just off the top off my head, how about this? We bend him over my desk again, his tender well-caned ass once more presented, then you sodomize him with a cucumber. Make him squeal like a pussy.'

'Wow. That is something special. Nice one.'

'Thanks, sweetheart.'

'Poor Colin.'

'Yeah, poor Colin.'

'Jennifer, I have just the one question.'

'Mmm?'

'You are joking with all this, right? It was just horny fantasy talk.'

'Er, yes, sugar, I was. Of course I was.'

'What a relief!'

'I mean, c'mon. Why the fuck would I have a cucumber in my office?'

END