Oops!

750 Word Project 2024

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I was deeply involved in a critical project at work. It required me to stay there for many late evenings. My wife didn't like that, and wasn't at all shy about letting her feelings be known. Goes with the red hair and our Irish heritage.

She didn't like to cook a nice meal only to eat it alone. And truth be told I was getting a little pissed at this too. Most nights of the week, when I finally dragged my worn out ass home, I faced the unappealing prospect of oven dried leftovers.

She was also afraid to be home alone after dark because of a couple of burglaries in the neighbourhood. So I bought her a Glock to keep in the bedside table.

She didn't think it was necessary for her to be alone all of the time. She accused me of having some secret lover, and threatened to do the same.

I hit the roof, and the argument escalated out of control. I ended up sleeping on the couch. For the project I had to be back at the office early the next morning. So, I left before she was up. Now that I was somewhat cooled off, I thought I could apologize and explain that the project would be finished in the next week or so, and everybody on the team including myself had been promised a nice bonus and 'lieu time' off to compensate us for our efforts. Perhaps we could use the 'lieu' to get away for a trip to some hot spot for a while.

I tried phoning a few times during the day but each time the call went right to voice mail - and she never responded to my messages. Each time I didn't get through I felt my anger rise another notch. Wearing the same clothes for a second day in a row didn't help my mood.

My head started to fill with nasty thoughts. I contemplated ditching the bitch and our seven year marriage. She would never agree to a divorce, and I wasn't too sure about it either - we were both devote Catholics and that was a big no-no.

Finally, I couldn't take the stress of worrying about the situation at home any longer and went to the Boss. Explained I had a serious personal problem at home that I needed to deal with. And he let me go about 8:00.

It was about a half hour drive home and when I got there some strange car was parked in my spot. I parked on the street and was walking around to the side door to enter the way I normally would when I happened to glance in through a crack in the living room curtains. What I saw sent my blood pressure through the roof instantly.

Trying to peer in through the crack in the closed curtains and then through the shears made things kind of hazy and indistinct but I could definitely make out my wife on her knees with her hands being clasped by some guy who was kneeling as well. His back was to me, so I couldn't really see his face but I could see that my wife had a joyful look on her face as he held her hands tightly. At least they were still fully clothed; him in a black suit, that looked somehow vaguely familiar, and her in her demure Sunday dress.

I was livid - the adrenaline was pumping through my veins and it felt like I might start popping veins at any moment. I decided to scare the bejesus out the two before they got up to anything. So, I snuck in the side door as quietly as I could. I took my shoes off to lessen any chance of the miscreants hearing me clomping around. Fortunately my path through the kitchen and up the stairs to the bedroom was out of their line of sight. I retrieved the automatic.

Then I went down to scare the pair.

What is that old poem about, The Best Laid Plans...

Honestly, Your Honour, I really just intended to wave the gun around. I never meant to hurt anyone. It just accidently went off by itself - twice.

Oops! My bad! I'll have the next twenty-five to life to contemplate that little mistake. I guess blowing a wife and the priest that was hearing her confessions away will pretty much guarantee me that trip to a Hot Spot - even without the lieu time.