Own Me in the Moonlight

Rey closed her eyes and breathed. She had been responsible for herself all her damn life, after her parents died. She'd fended for herself, put herself through school without anyone else's help. Until she'd met Finn, she'd had very few friends and only a small handful of short-term lovers. When he came out as a gay submissive, he told her he might understand what she needed: someone to take control, tell her what to do, and how to be. She could be free of being in charge of every damn thing in the whole world. Sometimes, she just wanted to fly high on a pain and pleasure cloud to get out of her own fucking head. At its best, being in a scene did that for her.

Yet, as she pulled on a light blue babydoll dress and a pair of white sandals, she realized that she'd not really been able to let go with other Doms. She saw it last night, when she started topping Cassian. She was still trying to guide him, tell him what to do for her, with her. Everything she'd learned or read suggested that though submissives were indeed in control of scenes, within those agreed-upon parameters, they should be able to let go. Let the Dom take over.

Instead, Rey kept a tight grip on her scenes, which was why Finn pushed Master Kylo at her. Kylo took all the control away, even as he respected Rey's boundaries. At least so far. More or less. She shrugged off a moment of panic when she remembered their conversation at the costume shop. Kylo was right, she scolded herself. No one had to know what she did in her private life-and there hadn't been anyone nearby at the time.

It was clear that Kylo wanted exclusivity-which was a little unnerving, since they hadn't talked about it. To be honest, scening with Cassian would have been a mistake, though she was chagrined that everyone else saw it before she did. Still, Rey had to admit she was getting in deep with Kylo, and she couldn't decide whether that was good or bad.

The scene in the Little Room might help her understand her twisted emotions. As she brushed out her hair, she sorted through the tangle of feelings: excitement, trepidation, longing. She stared at the hairbrush, then whacked it against her thigh. It stung like hell. She might have to nope out of a spanking today, if Kylo was planning to use a brush. She hesitated, wavering between wanting the hot, cleansing burn and calling the whole thing off.

Her phone buzzed with a calendar notification. Shit. Fuck. She was going to be late. Rey shoved a prim ruffled lavender nightgown into her shoulder bag, along with a small stuffed plush frog that had ended up in the costume shop for inspiration. At the last minute, she added one of the Frog and Toad chapter books and smiled to herself about the inside joke. Would Kylo appreciate it? Or would he make good on his promise to use a hairbrush on her ass?

She really shouldn't be turned on by the idea. It would hurt like hell.

A bite of pain, Kylo called it. It added spice. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Was she really this person? Yes, Rey liked that power exchange, the sweet threat, and the bite of pain much, much better than pure vanilla sex.

***

When Rey arrived, she walked to a room across from where she had first scened with Master Kylo. Decorated for Littles and Bigs, it was a large play space with rugs, toys, rocking chairs, bean bag pillows, and stuffed animals. An art station sat in one corner with easels, a round table, and plenty of art supplies. A Domme that Rey didn't know very well greeted her and asked her to select where she wanted to go.

"I'm Mommy Gwen, Little one. Cubbies are to your right, you can put your stuff inside one. Your Big will check in with you once you get settled." The tall, blonde Domme smiled at Rey.

After dropping her bag in a cubby, Rey sat at the art table and began to draw with crayons. Though she drew something almost every day as part of her job, she hadn't produced any of her own art since she began running the costume shop. It just wasn't on her radar screen. Instead, she spent time at home doomscrolling on her phone or watching art restoration videos on YouTube.

The fresh crayons and thick paper called to her. She began to rough in a portrait. She was so engrossed in her drawing that she barely registered an additional presence at the table. There was a sense of peace and warmth surrounding her as she worked. A face emerged. The wavy dark hair, the slash of eyebrows, the bold nose. A sharp intake of breath next to her jogged her out of her creative flow. She looked up into the amber eyes that she had drawn.

"That's some beautiful work," he said.

"Thank you," she murmured, feeling suddenly very shy. Almost, uh, Little.

Kylo-Ben-pulled out a chair. He didn't look so fierce today in a gray t-shirt and jeans. "Would you like me to sit with you?" He sounded kind, sweet, like a soft Dom. She realized he was being a Daddy Dom with her today.

"Yes, please," Rey answered. She couldn't believe he'd caught her drawing him. He'd know she'd been thinking of him and that scared her. She stopped coloring. "I was good. I didn't touch myself last night."

He hummed and lowered his voice. "I knew you would be, sweetheart. You crave the connection more than the orgasm. Should we talk before we scene?"

Rey peeped up at him. "Please." She straightened in her chair and turned her body toward Ben. "Would you have denied me again if I had defied you?"

He leaned forward in his chair, canting his body towards her. "Good Doms make the punishment fit the crime."

That's what she'd been afraid of. "You didn't threaten anything but more spankings, so I didn't know."

"Good Doms keep their subs guessing." His voice was laced with amusement. He gave her a dazzling smile, even as she narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously.

"Will you touch me today? I mean..." She didn't know exactly what she was asking, so she dropped her eyes and scrubbed at a swipe of marker on the table.

"Look at me, please, Kira."

Rey looked up.

"If you want me to make you come, I'm glad to do that, especially since you were a good girl last night." He paused. "Shit, I guess we should have negotiated more thoroughly before now."

"It's okay. I'm just concerned about how deep we're getting and how quickly it's happening."

He sighed and rubbed his face. "Yeah, I keep breaking my own rules. And I can't stop myself from touching you. Our connection is growing quickly.

Rey fiddled with a crayon. "I like it." For some reason, her brain felt sluggish as if she couldn't form the right words. She loved the deeper connection but was afraid he'd start backing off and then she'd have to move to another universe out of sheer mortification. At the same time, she wanted to keep him at arm's length while they were working together because... well, she was uncomfortable with herself as a submissive outside the club. But, then, she also wanted to serve him, fully submit, and be his only sub. She felt crazy with all the thoughts rolling around inside her brain. She sighed.

Ben caught her hesitancy. "Your mind seems to be racing. Want to scene today or slow everything down?"

"I want to scene," she said. "Will you touch me again? With your hands-or lips." She almost whispered the last word. She refused to meet his gaze. What was happening? This insane hesitation wasn't like her. A small voice inside murmured that it was because this mattered, and she was offering her submission.

Ben remained silent for a moment. "I usually don't get so intimate with my partners, but I'd like to touch you again, to make you come. I'd like to hold you, reassure you that you're safe with me, here and elsewhere."

"And I'd like to believe that." Rey found the courage to look into Ben's face. "You went a bit Dom on me at the costume shop." She was on firmer ground here, criticizing instead of begging.

He sighed. "You know that's who I am. And we were alone."

Her voice sharpened. "You never know. Someone might have overheard you talking about spanking me."

Ben held up his hands. "Okay. I get it. Sorry about that." He paused, frowning. "How're you feeling? You seem very uncomfortable right now."

Rey closed her eyes. He was right, she'd been popped into an anxiety spiral-any semblance of Little space erased. "I want to be in subspace or Little space. Outer space." She paused. "Some kind of space. I feel itchy inside my skin." She blew out a long breath. "I was so excited to try this and then I fucked up last night."

There was a long silence. The Little Room's energy sparked around Rey with excited voices, squeals, and loving murmurs. She finally opened her eyes to see Ben watching her. No one spoke to either of them as they sat with eyes locked on one another.

Finally, Ben pressed his lips together. "You didn't fuck up, Kira. Not at all. Maybe you didn't enjoy our scene." He sounded unnaturally calm, as if waiting for a blow to fall.

"I did enjoy it. A lot," Rey blurted, perhaps louder than necessary. She lowered her voice. "But, today, I can't stop thinking, just thinking all the time, just worried about everything. I can't let go."

He eyed her thoughtfully. "Ah, maybe this Little Room isn't working. No harm. We can go out to the atrium and talk instead."

"No," she said sharply, almost spitting at Ben. "Take control, B-Kylo. Do it. I need you." She grabbed the portrait and began to color the background. The crayon broke between her fingers.

Ben said nothing, didn't move one muscle. She knew she was topping from the bottom but couldn't make herself care. She blinked back hot tears.

"Little girl," Ben snapped suddenly, his voice becoming deeper, demanding. "While we are in this place, you will call me Daddy." He took the crayon away. "And you will not abuse the art supplies because you're in a bad mood."

Rey bit down on her lip as she looked into Ben's stern visage. "Yes, Daddy." The word crossed her lips easily. She wiped her eyes quickly.

"That's better. Let's deal with what's bothering-"

A ruckus drew Rey's attention. A small woman with black pigtails had been tossed over the shoulder of a red-haired Daddy Dom. She was shrieking and kicking. The Dom smacked his Little's pajama'd bottom.

"Oh, shit. Rosie's in trouble," Ben murmured. "Hux doesn't play." He was a strict Daddy Dom and Rosie was his Little.

Without ceremony, Hux dumped Rosie on her feet, sat himself in a straight-backed chair, and hauled her over his lap. Rey's mouth went dry as Hux yanked his Little's pajamas down and began to slap her bottom.

Ben rose from his seat. "He needs a little helper. Be right back." He snagged a large, wooden hairbrush from atop a cabinet and handed it to Hux. The Dom went to work right away, swatting his squirming Little. She howled and kicked, but Hux held her tightly.

Ben returned to sit next to Rey. "That's what happens when Littles get mouthy," he gave her the side-eye, "or need a release."

Rey swallowed. She hoped he wasn't talking about her. Or maybe she hoped he was.

After a few more swats, Hux stopped and pulled Rosie onto his lap to let her cry it out.

"Maybe I should have talked to her," Rey muttered as Hux carried Rosie to a big rocking chair. Rey guessed that Rosie had let go of all her stress and enjoyed the cuddling, even if her ass was stinging from the brush. It would be a good burn that cleansed all the bad feelings. Rosie had her face buried in Hux's neck, while his hand was between her legs. It didn't take long for her to begin wriggling and moaning.

Rey licked her lips as Rosie came loudly.

"You definitely should have talked to her." Ben's voice deepened. "Isn't that what I told you to do?"

Alerted to Ben's tone, Rey turned to look at his face. "No, no. You can't. I was just..."

His eyes narrowed. "Seems like you want what Little Miss Rosie has."

"No, Sir." Rey shook her head emphatically. "I'm pretty sure I'm not a Little."

His brows rose in disbelief. "Maybe not, but you should have seen your face. You crave this connection and I know you want it with me." He looked down at Rey's hand clutching his arm.

She yanked her hand away. "I-I don't."

He frowned. "And now you're lying to me and yourself."

Rey looked around the room. Other Littles were being spanked and then cuddled. Everyone seemed to be watching the proceedings, if not overtly, in quick, measured glances. Rosie and Hux had started a trend that Rey wasn't sure she wanted to participate in after all. Tearful Littles held stuffed animals and some Daddies and Mommies began reading books in soft voices. Most play had ceased except for a few couples who were talking quietly.

"We're going to join the fun." Ben smacked his legs and rose.

Rey scowled at him. "I'm not finished with my portrait."

He held out a big hand. "Finish it later."

She felt herself sliding into a grumpy, defiant headspace: maybe it was a Little headspace, she wasn't sure. "What trumped-up charges are you going to use?" She snorted-and almost stamped her foot.

"Oh, that mouth." Ben shook his head. He crouched down, eyes boring into Rey's. She gulped. "First, while we are in here, you will address me appropriately. Second, there are no so-called trumped-up charges. You should have spoken with Rosie. You didn't. And you're being defiant and snarky." He pressed his lips together, then licked them. Rey watched in fascination. "You clearly, clearly want to participate and you're lying to yourself and your Daddy about that feeling. I'd say we have quite a few issues to address. Eyes down, Little."

The last order was crisp and brooked no disobedience, though it sounded more Dom than Daddy.

Rey lowered her gaze automatically. She liked Dom better anyway. "Yes, Daddy."

A frisson of trepidation ran down her spine but also a kind of relief. He would cuddle her. She could let go of the dark mass of emotion in her stomach. She'd known all along that he would help her get rid of the shit roiling around-from seeing him in real life to questioning her interest in the lifestyle to being nervous about her feelings for him. Together, they would burn it out and fly in sub and Dom space. They would make each other whole.

To do that usually involved that lovely sting. The sweet nip of pain.

Rey took Ben's hand. He lifted her to her feet and leaned over to whisper in her ear. "I'll take good care of you."

Rey almost dissolved into tears then and there.

Ben tilted Rey's chin up with one long finger. "Go to the bathroom and change into your nightgown. Underwear optional, but if you have panties that cover your bottom, they will come down for your spanking. Understood?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"All right. Go. Three minutes. If you dawdle, you will receive more swats."

Rey grabbed her bag and hurried to the bathroom. Someone was inside. She knocked on the door.

"I need to get in."

"Coming." It was Rosie's voice.

Rey stood on one foot, then the other. Why was this bathroom a single? Didn't lots of Littles need to pee?

"Rosie, Daddy Kylo's gonna spank the shit out of me if you don't hurry the fuck up."

Rosie opened the door with wide eyes. "Kira! You can't swear. My Daddy will spank you himself."

"So don't tell him," Rey huffed, rolling her eyes and feeling more and more Little with each passing moment. "Move."

"Daddy!" Rose took off like a shot.

"Fuck me," Rey shouted as she slammed the door. No time. She tore off her dress and kicked off the sandals. No time to deal with bra and panties. She yanked the nightie over her head, stuffed the dress and shoes into the bag, and ran out.

Hux and Ben stood with arms folded, looking stern, both holding hairbrushes.

Rey groaned.

"Not only are you late, Little Kira, but you were heard using bad words that are forbidden to Littles." Ben lifted his chin. "Looks like you earned a good paddling."

Rey bit back another curse. This Little thing was a minefield, but she had to admit she was feeling better, less tense, more... turned on. She was going to come like a freight train if Ben so much as looked at her.

"Uh oh," Rosie whispered. She grabbed Rey's bag. "I'll just put this away for you."

Hux spoke. "Ten swats for swearing. Then, your Daddy can decide how he wants to proceed." He snapped his fingers and pointed to the chair he'd sat on with Rosie.

Rey tried not to drag her feet. Shit, this red-headed devil was going to beat on her. Bad enough that Ben was going to do it. And her fucking panties were soaked, thinking of the beautiful sting. Still, she preferred not to engage with another Dom. Not Cassian, not Ezra, certainly not Hux.

She found herself face down, over his lap anyway, while her own Dom-he was hers, she realized-watched. Hux flipped her nightgown up but left her panties in place. Fat lot of good that did. The thin, silky fabric did nothing to ease the burning swats Hux laid on every part of her ass. She dug her fingernails into the carpet and hissed under her breath.

After he finished, Hux lifted her up to stand next to him. Rey's face flushed as he looked into her eyes. "Littles are not allowed to swear. Do it again and I'll bare your bottom, regardless of your Daddy's wishes. And it'll be double next time."

"Yes, Sir," Rey mumbled. She lowered her eyes.

Hux rose and muttered, "She's all yours."

Ben took Hux's place. "Up and over." He patted his thigh.

Rey gritted her teeth. She could do this. She trusted him to give her what she needed. Her ass stung already from last night and Hux's swats, but she realized she could trust Ben to stay within her limits. Or perhaps to push them a little. She wanted that. The firm boundaries, the loving strictness, the shove right into a lovely floating place where nothing bothered her.

She draped herself over his lap, which was bigger and meatier than Hux's. He settled her in the position he wanted, with her bottom high and her head low. He raised her gown and gently tugged her panties down to her knees. Rey clenched and tightened her legs, wishing she had worn a thong. Ben adjusted her again and she had to open her legs slightly to remain on his lap. She scrunched her face, waiting for the first spank.

As Rey had found out last night, Ben was not fooling around. He lifted the brush and peppered her bottom with crisp, stinging swats that had her sucking in her breath. It was so much worse without the small protection of the underwear. And, of course, she was already reddened from the first set of smacks-and last night's handprints.

Rey kept it together until he moved down to the place where her bottom met her thighs. A sob escaped her as he worked his way down to place a few smacks on her inner thighs.

"Please," she whispered.

"Status?" He stopped.

"Yellow," she breathed.

"You need to let go, sweetie. You can do it. Take the pain and cry it out."

Rey bit her lip as he began again, back at the top, swinging the brush harder, faster. The world narrowed to the burn on her ass. She was sopping wet and sure she was leaving pussy marks when she pushed her pelvis against her Dom's thigh. If he touched her clit, she would go off like a fucking rocket.

With a long, harsh sob, she writhed against him. "I need to come, please, Daddy. Please."

Ben stopped for a moment. "My sweetest, cry for me." His hand settled on her burning ass. "Can you do that?"

Rey's hazy thoughts drifted to the portrait she'd drawn. Why didn't she draw anymore? Why was she so disconnected from life? Why did she hide herself? She ground her crotch against his leg. This man, this Dom was giving her access to her life, even as he caused her pain. She was loving every second of it, only vaguely aware that he had asked her a question. She clutched at his ankle.

He swatted her again, so hard that she almost rolled off his lap. She put her hand behind her. "Cry for me, subbie. Move that hand."