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It took work.
I had to refill my painting cleaner. I left the rest of my supplies and hurried down the second floor to the stairs that led down to the kitchen. I rushed down them, my skirt swirling about my thighs. I reached the bottom and turned the corner.
To find Cali wrapped up in the arms of a shadowy woman. They were kissing, arms wrapped tight about each other. Cali's hands slid down and squeezed the entity's ass, kneading the Imprisoned. My heart leaped in fear as Cali broke the kiss and turned her head to look at me. Her purple eyes gleamed.
So did the shadowy figure's eyes. The same purple hue.
Both of them smiled at me, my blood chilling, the Imprisoned's mouth opening wider, a darkness even deeper than the shadows that made up her body. I wanted to scream, but my voice choked in my throat.
To be continued...
- COMMENTS
Jack50610 months agoThis reads like something you wrote at a fairly young age. From reading some of your other postings I infer you’ve gotten better. Might be worth reworking this series, as the story line is interesting but the character development and sex scenes are sadly lacking.
Anonymousover 1 year agoSo so so damn damn damn repetitive repetitive repetitive.
We're here for a sex story, but you have far too many sex scenes compared to the actual story. It kills any sense f forward movement through the story and makes it a slog to get through, especially with all the repitition in both actions and dialogue.
One line: "Yes, yes, yes," I gasped. "Oh, god, Master-Husband! I love you!"
8 sentences later: "Yes, yes, yes," I groaned, my body bucking. "Oh, Master-Husband!"
Surely you can do better.
Malice21over 1 year agoYou used “hilt of snatch” 11 times in one scene… you used the word snatch more than 50 times in this chapter alone. You have a story to tell, but your refusal to realize that your chosen grammar is doing damage, is unfortunate. There is a lot of potential here.
