All Comments on 'Paige's Prison'

The problem with this is the outrageous behavior of the police.

Considering everyone is presumed innocent until proven guilty, the family would have been reunited that day. Plus, even the crappiest lawyer would get a huge payday for the family considering the police heavy handedness.

You could have done so much with this story, instead you treated us like morons with a collective IQ of 70.

I will finish this story (came ahead to the ending to advise you of my opinion) if you re-do it with a less disorienting manner. Have a detached narration (not from one or two characters ) and just tell the story, please. Thanks.

Great story, 5*****

@Whackadoodle :

Sorry chum, but my experience with too many LEOs these days is they are indeed morons with room temperature IQs. As a rule most cops are ignorant of the Constitution and many are openly contemptuous of it. Then there's the "Gear Queers" and "Tacticools" who love dressing up like soldiers and then acting like soldiers. And when they do something wrong they predictably investigate themselves and find that they did nothing wrong.

And you're quite wrong about the LEO assumption that everyone is innocent until proven guilty. Too many people are prosecuted even when the cops and the prosecutors know they're not guilty. And then those assholes fight it when people like The Innocence Project fight to get unjust convictions overturned.

I am assuming you're a decent cop who meant it when he took his oath. If so then I'm sorry that the majority of cops are making you look bad.

Baz

Switching perspectives is nice but the paragraphs are too short, many of them sound like summaries. And there is no reason to switch persons within a dialogue.

The sex is rather vanilla but I love how the story is told. I hope there will be more chapters. It didn't feel like the story was finished being told.

I liked it. You did a good job expressing what was in each person's head, what they were thinking. Also did a good job on the background of the 3 main characters.

I made to whoever the second person in the story was. Other seem to have made it further bit seems what I saw in the beginning remains through the story. In order for a a story to be believable, it needs to be rooted in reality, and no cops are going to show up to a victims house (yes, she was a victim of her parents actions) just to steal thier phone. It's like you just googled Police and picked all the click-bait stereotypes. Such wasted potential

this s hilarious

Khalid reminds me of some middle/upper-class Arabs I've known. Surplus sons cast aside and left to drift into whatever trouble they can find. Frankly, if the worst he does is a bit of human trafficking then he's one of the better ones. At least he's not bouncing around raping hotel staff in all the hotspots of Europe and Asia, or filling out the ranks of ISIS.

LEO's stealing a teenage girl's phone and trying to implicate her in a crime she couldn't possibly be a party to? Or randomly harassing someone because they don't like the family? Yeah, that's the kind of dim-witted spitefulness that I could see more than a few rural/suburban PDs engaging in. You can almost count yourself lucky if you live in a place where cops are merely lazy and indifferent.