All Comments on 'Party Game'

I see potential, but the awkward writing style requires more proofing. Keep at it!

The story was a good one, but to keep referring to "the nude woman" rather than a name or something made it a little monotonous. There were similar instances to this, as well. You have potential as a story writer, so try a little harder or have the story edited.

playing at being adults, oh, you say there were all adults only they had the IQ of a seventeen year old. To put what I am indicating bluntly, it is very immature.

I agree with one of the comments above. You have a plot outline, not a story. To bring the story alive, you need to describe the character and their actions. It isn't just four characters in "Gone With the Wind", it's Scarlett, Rhett, Ashley and Melanie and they behave in certain ways. Don't just say someone's embarrassed, create the scene in our minds through her actions and words.

Keep writing! There is a terrific, exciting erotic quality to your writing. Certainly take to heart criticisms about character and plot but you have great talent at the most important element of this kind of writing: making it sexy.

? Either that or they were so out of it on drugs the had no real brains.

the rules were to complicated and to dictatorial. The sad fact is, at a real party with adults, most would have left by the time the rules were all outlined. My guess is the ones leaving would have had more fun than the ones staying.

Is it possible that one woman was naked or nude and she was the only one?

In the sequel,we can only hope that the naked woman showed up at the next party and took all the shits out with an AK47!

It is a fantasy but why is there only on women naked? There should be several including some men. Not very erotic.