Passion of Erika Christensen Ch. 04

I can't leave, though, she thought. I still believe in the good of my church. I'm also frightened of the people who are against us. I lurk sometimes in the places where they congregate. I have listened to their words and seen so much anger and bitterness. I don't blame some of them for it but I don't think others should feel so awful. It's as if they still want to be like the worst of us even though they left our church for good reason. They shout down and alienate anyone who disagrees with their generally confused and hateful words. They don't know any other way to live their lives but working their antipathy out over and over again. Some of them even spread disinformation and create new conflicts. I can't see any of them as nice. It's all so hard for me to understand. Better to stay inside, where I know what to expect and can manage things. My family is with me here and my friends are helping, too.

Isaac Hayes was one of those friends. A celebrity Scientologist like Erika, he had long been active in the entertainment industry as an actor and soul musician. He was also the one who had introduced Erika to the swinging lifestyle and "Clear Rainbow", her church's network of followers who were into alternative sexuality. Isaac had enough contacts in the church to keep Clear Rainbow tolerated by those who could accept its existence and hidden from most of the rest. Erika knew she had Isaac watching over her, and her parents also, but this did not keep her from being afraid much of the time.

"The tabloids are no concern either," Kate broke into her thoughts, smirking at a group of nearby photographers. A weasel-faced blond man stood in the forefront, snapping a camera away. "Like I've told you before, just stay busy and don't stand out and they hardly notice you as anything more than a name."

"Right," Erika said. Geena had given her the same advice and she followed it. I'm with my career one hundred percent, Erika told reporters. When I'm not shooting films, I'm reading scripts or rehearsing. I don't have time for boyfriends. So far, the press had all appeared to believe her words. There seemed no threat of exposure on that front.

"If things get really bad, we also have an ace in the hole," said Sarah. She made an odd gesture.

The Friendship, Erika thought, recognizing the motion. She and most of her friends were members of this group, a secret society similar to the Masons but far more powerful and less known. Their tendrils extended into every sector of the world and benefitted everyone they touched, sometimes in unexpected ways. Geena, Isaac and Erika's parents had initiated her a month ago. The society's goals were simple — gathering and sharing knowledge and giving freedom and charity to all people.

They did not have a clear overall plan to achieve these goals but they did have many ongoing programs and strategies. Reforming Erika's church was among these. The church leaders might be against change, like most religious leaders, but they could not stop people from having opinions and reacting to being hurt. Some of these people still believed in Scientology despite all its misdeeds and wanted to be proactive and fix it rather than leave their religion and let it die. We have the power to do this, they said, if we truly are supreme beings. Because of their belief and honest desire to help others, they stayed inside the church if they could and tried to inspire other followers to a better level of ethics and public opinion.

The Friendship, which had long observed the development of various people and helped them along to secure its own goals, was aiding these would-be reformers. Erika doubted whether the Friendship was all good sometimes but she was willing to stay within and find out for herself. The advantages the society gave her were also great and came at no cost.

Kate used the Friendship last year to kill a tabloid story about her eating disorder, Erika remembered. Goldie, Susan, Isaac and Geena use them for swinging and career connections. I've been doing the same to a degree. Like Sarah, I don't want to depend on the Friendship for my career, but they are nice. I hope that as time goes on I learn more of their plan for my church and that it turns out to be as good as my parents and Isaac believe it will.

"It's a long term plan," Isaac told her. "We think it will probably take years. Religions are difficult to reform, you see. Every one in history has needed it and the Friendship has few adversaries that can be more dangerous. I don't think I'm going to live to see the plans the Friendship has for our church conclude. I hope you do, Erika, and if I must die before then I just hope I die well."

Erika worried he would not. Isaac voiced a cartoon chef on a show that often satirized religion. Though he and Erika were okay with such a theme, others within their church disapproved. These fanatics' ranks included Isaac's publicist. The show, "South Park", was a huge hit and showed no sign of ending any time soon. If the elderly Isaac should fall into poor health, Erika had a feeling that the fanatics in their religion would seize the opportunity to make him quit his show in a disturbing way.

Isaac knows that might happen too, Erika reminded herself. He is aware of the negative side of our church. He edits it out of the way he lives his beliefs just like my family and I do. We're far from the only ones. The Friendship has a long road to reforming Scientology and we're helping it along. We hate it whenever the actions of some fanatic who thinks they know how we should be push us back. However, we soldier on. I hope Isaac will also continue to soldier on, even if the worst should happen.

Most of the people opposed to her religion, Erika knew, did not want that. They wanted to destroy her church and everything it had built. Never mind the good things they had done. The people they had helped educate and those they had turned away from crime and addiction. The many artists, Erika included, whom they had taught to be better communicators. The companies they had built; the artworks and communities; the mental health reforms and alternatives. So many of the people against them could only see the bad they had done as well.

We're learning, Erika wanted to tell these haters. We're getting away from our infamy slowly but surely. Yes, some people may never change but we can't let them stop the rest of us. The majority of Scientologists want reform. We want a better world. Why can't you help us find one instead of just reminding us of all the mistakes we've made over and over? Why do you let us continue to live in fear? I would ask you this question if I honestly thought you would listen to me. I've seen others ask you and you always respond with derision and disgust.

She also wanted to tell the haters about a Christian-themed horror movie she'd seen once called "The Prophecy". In it, an archangel had rebelled against God, believing he knew a better way for the world and humanity. In one climactic scene, the Devil visited the archangel and offered aid.

"What are you doing here, Satan?" the archangel asked in surprise. "This isn't your war."

"On the contrary," the Devil answered. "You are too blind to see that your actions are not motivated by compassion, truth and understanding as much as they are by suspicion, ignorance and arrogance. That makes your war evil and that makes it mine."

There's evil on my side of this war too, Erika recalled. Again, she was thinking of people like the Feshbach brothers and her church's intelligence agency. Of course knowing that doesn't help me much. Oh well, I should just forget it and take things as they come. I know I have to stay firm in my ethics and get through whatever happens to me. I've been doing that. Nothing too awful has occurred yet, thankfully. It could be worse.

"Ladies, fucking ladies!" a nearby voice yelled in a Jersey twang. "You wanna buy some weed?"

Frowning, Erika turned and saw a tall man with long blond hair standing a few feet up the sidewalk. He wore a yellow rain slicker and a black knit cap. Another man was leaning against the wall beside him. This fellow was stout, dark-bearded and dressed in a black overcoat and a white baseball cap turned backwards. Erika at once pegged him as the quiet type.

"Jay and Silent Bob got what you need, ladies!" shouted the more vocal of the pair. "We got horse, crack, doobies and meds! Step right up and get it! Snootchie Bootchies!" He grinned at Erika and grabbed his crotch.

"Keep walking," Kate whispered in Erika's ear. "Act natural. Do not make eye contact."

Erika nodded. She disliked drug dealers but knew better than to get close to them outside a film role.

Wait, she thought as she was about to turn. I want to say something to these guys. I really should. I got into playing drug addicts because I wanted to show people the damage drugs can do to their lives. My church has helped so many people get off drugs, Kirstie Alley and thousands of others. Maybe these guys just need a little help too, and if I say the right things ...

No, she decided, I can't risk it. They would see me the same as those hookers earlier saw me, maybe even worse. I can't take the chance. She glared at Jay and Silent Bob and then walked away from them as they traded confused frowns.

Never mind that those guys might be able to help me through my quandary, Erika thought as she headed on down the sidewalk. For some reason I get the feeling they've aided troubled religious women before.

Several laughing teenagers on roller skates sped past her as she again caught up with Sarah and Kate. "This is getting us nowhere," Erika told her friends. "I think we have too much clutter. You want to try Sunset?"

"Nah," Sarah said with a bored exhale. "That area's just as bad as this one. Maybe we should go in there. It's served me well a few times."

Erika looked where the redhead was pointing. A sign flashing neon lights read "Blue Banana". Below the sign was a pool hall with several people wandering in and out. I've walked past that place a few times, Erika thought. I've never gone inside, though. Oh well, no time like the present. She shrugged and followed Kate and Sarah across the street.

Kate put a hand on her arm when they reached the other side. "Relax," she said. "You remember what you said in the movie you just finished, right? 'Don't feel fake, live life true?' You need to start doing that, Erika."

"I know. It's harder than it sounds, though." Erika pulled herself out of Kate's grasp and looked back towards all the people they had passed.

"You know what Aunt G says?" asked Sarah. "Forget anything else but your present moment. It's all you have control over. Only worry about other people if you really need to. You can make yourself happy at any time if you just open your eyes and find a way."

The wisdom of a devout Buddhist, Erika thought with a sigh. "Goldie's said that to me before. It's not easy advice to follow."

"Yes, it is," Kate countered. "Just put your troubles away and worry about them later, if ever. They're not who you are. It's easy, Erika. Decide to do it and it's done."

"Okay," Erika said, nodding. She would try. She stabilized her mind and followed Kate and Sarah into the pool hall. A bouncer nodded at them as they entered. The room was dark, steamy and full of people having a good time. Some were talking in small groups or dancing to rock music. Others were around game tables and the bar at the far end. Kate worked her way through the crowds to the bar and asked the old man behind it for two martinis and a soda. Erika felt relieved this wasn't going to be one of the nights she was forced to drink.

"Ahoy!" Sarah called out just then.

Erika looked and saw the redhead was pointing at two Caucasian men in short-sleeved and well-ironed US Navy whites sitting in a booth ten feet away. Cute guys, Erika thought at once. Both were in their mid-twenties, well muscled and tall. They had faces that belonged on recruitment posters. One of the pair was large with thin carrot-colored curls and a playful grin. The other sailor was slim, dark-haired and resembled a young Mark Harmon. He gazed about the room with steady intensity. Erika squinted at their nametags and read "C. Kurgan" and "Z. Metz".

"Uniforms," Kate said. "They're alone. Nice."

Uniforms are often good, Erika thought. Guys look great in them and the military weeds out lots of undesirables. These sailors are probably ethical and healthy just like Kate, Sarah and me. They'd make perfect targets if they weren't only two.

"Hail!" C. Kurgan stood up and shouted. "Hail, Torrence!"

Erika looked to see a third man in naval whites approaching from the restroom. He was as tall and good-looking as the first two, a firmly robust black youth with a large nose and a flat buzz-cut. His eyes were brown like the other two sailors'. "T. Hale", his nameplate said.

"Stop that, Chas," Torrence said as he reached his friends. "You know that I don't like it."

"I'm just giving you a good ribbing, man! Chill!" Chas and the other sailor both chuckled as Torrence sat down with a roll of his eyes.

"Okay," Kate said. "There are three of them and three of us. Approach?"

Sarah and Erika both smiled in agreement. They sipped down their drinks and paid for them, then sauntered over to the sailors. The trio stopped talking when Chas saw the girls and caught his friends' attention. "Hey, ladies," he said.

"Hi," Kate replied. "You boys looking for some fun?"

"Um, no," Torrence said. "Thank you. We're kind of short on money right now."

"We aren't hookers," Sarah told him. "Our services come free." She walked up to Torrence. "You're probably shipping out soon, right?"

"Yeah," the black sailor answered. "Day after tomorrow, we're going to Pakistan."

"Well then," Kate asked, "do you want a night to remember before you go?"

The sailors looked at each other, unable to believe their good fortune. Erika beamed at them along with her girlfriends. A fine catch, she thought, three great looking guys in uniform. Their personalities seem acceptable too, so far. This could be better than I hoped for tonight, better than I've had in a while.

"Why don't you ladies sit down?" Z. Metz said, waving at them and scooting over. "I'm Zechariah. Call me Zeck. This is Chas and Torrence."

"I'm Kate," Kate replied, taking a seat. "The redhead's Sarah and that's Erika. What do you boys do in the Navy?"

"Boatswain's mate," Torrence answered, "first class."

"First class," Sarah said with a grin. She leaned into his shoulder. "Wow."

"I'm a navigational technician," Zeck said. "I do intelligence, communications and radar." He looked Kate and Erika up and down and smiled. "Chas is in the engine room. He's a bilge-cleaning specialist."

"Not for much longer," Chas countered. He pulled up his left sleeve and showed the girls a winged anchor and trident tattooed on his bicep. "I'm trying out for the SEALs after my current tour is over. I'm gonna be among the best of the best."

"Don't tell them that!" Torrence cautioned. "You'll never get in. You shouldn't even try. All seals are good for is bouncing balls on their noses."

"Shut up, Torrence," said Zeck. "You want him to demonstrate that with your balls?"

"Good one, Zeck," said Chas.

Erika grimaced at Kate and Sarah. She didn't entirely appreciate the sailors' sense of humor. Relax, Kate flashed back with her face. They seem like okay guys.

"So who gets who?" Torrence inquired, looking at the girls. "That is, if you don't mind me asking."

"Sarah and I are cousins," Kate replied. "Erika's our friend. We share everything. Is that alright with you?" She gave the men a suggestive smirk and put her hand on Chas's arm. Sarah beamed at Torrence. Erika took the odd man out and scooted closer to Zeck while keeping her eyes on Sarah and Kate.

The three sailors gave each other another look of incredulity. "No problem!" Torrence spoke for all of them. "You girls got transportation?"

Kate nodded and pulled out her cell phone. "My dad's outside. I'll call him to pick us up."

"Your dad?" Zeck raised his eyebrows. "None of you look underage."

"We're not, we're in a swinging family," Sarah explained. "Don't worry, Uncle Kurt's cool with us going fishing. You'll be okay as long as you treat us right." She leaned across Torrence and rubbed the navigator's cheek.

"I have to ask," Zeck said with a frown. "I think I know at least two of you from somewhere. Are you girls famous?"

"I am," Kate replied, taking off her sunglasses. "'Almost Famous'."

"Oh my God," Chas said with a blink. "You're Kate Hudson, Goldie Hawn's daughter!"

"Correct," Kate confirmed with a nod.

"And you're the girl from that drug movie 'Traffic'," Zeck said. "Erika..."

"Christensen," Erika answered. "Did you like the movie?"

"I loved it. You're great. You really deserved all those awards." He grinned at her, then looked at Sarah. "You I don't recognize."

"Sarah Hudson," the redhead introduced herself. She then started singing."It's getting under me, behind the front of me, head up on top of me! A hot, hot riot! They're hanging over me, trying to get a hold of me! It's only causing me a hot, hot riot!"

The sailors looked at each other, then back at her and shrugged. "Sorry," Torrence spoke for them. "That song ain't familiar. You are cute, though."

"Thanks," Sarah replied. "I'm still working on becoming a rock star."

"I think you're there already," Chas said. "That sounded like a pretty good song." He laughed. "So, uh, you girls know my bros and I don't share each other, right? We're not into that."

Kate smirked. "I bet that disappoints a lot of guys on your ship."

"Not that many," Zeck said with a shrug. "It's only a small destroyer. Then there's the whole 'don't ask, don't tell' thing." He looked at Erika's neck. "That gold chain, is it what I think it is?"

Erika took the pendant out of her blouse and showed it to him. "It's just my cross." She noticed a similar chain under Zeck's collar. "Do you also wear one?"

The navigator nodded and displayed a small gold ankh. "Yeah, I wear it for faith. I like to believe I have God supporting me. I know the enemy claims the same thing but that doesn't bother me. I tell myself no just and loving god would want people to be killing each other. No just and loving man should want that, either. I don't fight because I want to fight but because I have to. Their people are harming mine. I will put down my weapons the instant they show me they want to stop hurting others and extend the hand of peace."

"That's beautiful," Erika said, smiling. America's war in the Middle East was often on her mind, even though she had no friends or family fighting in it. She looked at the sailors again and decided that had just changed.

"Thanks," Zeck replied. "It keeps me going over there." He looked at Chas and Torrence. "This is our second tour. We grew up in the same Virginia town working around ships. My dad served in Vietnam. Chas's uncle and Torrence's mother were in the first Gulf War."

"Nice," Kate said with a nod. "Sarah's a singer and Erika and I are actresses, as you know." She turned from them and spoke into her phone. "Dad? Pick us up outside the Banana. Plus three guys." Putting away her cell, she turned back to the sailors. "You boys know not to brag about being with us, right?"

"Of course we won't brag!" Zeck responded immediately. "I understand if you want to keep this on the down low. I think you're married, though."

"She is," said Erika, "but it's no reason she can't have a little fun. Neither is religion." She wiggled her cross at Zeck and then tucked it back inside her shirt.

"I agree on that," Zeck said. He put away his own cross. "I just don't want the lead singer of the Black Crowes mad at me. I'm a big fan."