All Comments on 'Patrick and the Perverts Ch. 01'

I'm not sure which is worse, a less than half page chapter 1, or a 20,000 word one from a new writer. That represents a significant time commitment to an unknown writer, with no assurance that we'll ever see future chapters.

When you start your writing career with the most fantastic gangbang of all time, where do you do top that later?

But do keep 'em coming.

pathetic

What a bunch of reprobates, they all fuck Ray's wife before the wedding? and he enjoys that? damn.

I thought this was awful, started off dumping eight characters onto the reader within the first couple of paragraphs then we are led to believe that everyone is happy that one of the female characters is a cum dump for the males.

Couldn’t recognise any of the people here, just infantile.

Another retread cuck writer.

Its clear that the old ones keep trying new names as their old ones have been rightfully trashed.

I thought it was hot. Can't wait for chapter 2 !

Don't pay any attention to the asshole trolls, that was an awesome piece, can't wait for chapter2!

The plot idea was ok. The execution was poor. It might have been erotic for Ray to discover his fiancé has kinky desire to exhibit her body and let friends play sex games with her but this story was more like listening in on a group of 14 years old boys fantasy talk.

The strip poker game to win chance to have the wife do a nasty was lame.

The big ending erotic act “can I cum in your hair before you take a shower?” Just not erotic.

Erin you cheating hobag