Payback is a Bitch

©2023 Smuttyandfun All Rights Reserved

This one is for the 2023 Halloween Story Contest. As always, your votes and comments are much appreciated.

And Happy Halloween to All!

"Ma, I'm pulling into the cemetery, I gotta hang up now."

I groaned when she didn't take the hint and finally say goodbye. "But you've got the flowers, right?"

"Of course, I got the flowers, that's why I'm here. So, Angela will have them on her grave for All Saints Day tomorrow."

I could the hear the chime of the doorbell echoing through the house in the background and I was hoping she was going to hang up. "Oh, there goes my doorbell. Sounds like I've got a bunch of trick or treaters on the porch, so I'd better go give them their treats. Just make sure to say a prayer for me and Angela's mother when you arrange the flowers, Peter."

"Yeah, sure, Ma," I said, rolling my eyes, like I'd ever bother to say a prayer.

"And I hope you remember where her crypt is. Because this is the least you can do for her, since you barely ever went to the hospital to see her when she was dying."

"Yeah, I know where it is, I'm pulling up in front right now. And I'm not a doctor, so it wasn't like I could do anything for her, even if I did go to see her. Why don't you go and see about the kids at the door, and I'll talk to you later, Ma."

"Okay. I'm just glad that she'll have her flowers for tomorrow, so she'll know that she was loved."

"Yeah, me, too," I said, with an even bigger eye roll, since she was dead and gone, and a bunch of posies on her grave wasn't going to do anything for her. "Take care, Ma," I said, as I hung up.

It wasn't like my dead wife was going to be able to smell the stupid things, or know what they looked like from inside the vault where her body was stashed. But since the two moms paid me to pick up a couple of bouquets of fall flowers for her, once I pocketed half the money, I figured I might as well drop them off before I headed over to the strip club to get a lap dance.

Maybe because it was Halloween night, the moment I stepped out my car I felt an odd chill run up my spine. Glancing around at the rows of tombstones, shrouded in mist, the cemetery felt pretty eerie, especially with it being so dark out. With the cool wind blowing the fallen leaves around, and the full moon shining down through the bare branches of the trees, it almost felt haunted.

But I wasn't afraid of no ghosts. I always thought the idea of spirits coming back from the dead was just a bunch of crap. I figure once you're gone, you're gone, and you ain't comin' back, and that's all there was to it.

Deciding I'd better hurry up and get this thing done, so I could go watch the girls shake their booties, I grabbed the flowers off the front seat, locked up and headed inside. When the big glass doors closed behind me, I was just glad it didn't feel as cold as it did outside, and I unzipped my leather jacket.

Then I turned my head when I noticed a woman smiling, standing near my late wife's vault.

Letting my eyes rake over her, I thought she looked sexy enough to be a stripper. She had a body that wouldn't quit, that already had my cock stirring. Nice big tits, full hips and shapely legs, and long blonde hair trailing down her back, she was absolutely gorgeous.

As I approached her, I could see her eyes lighting up as she looked me over, like she liked what she was seeing. Not that I worked out or anything, though I did work hard laying bricks all day. But I thought I still looked pretty good for a guy who just turned forty.

"I'm just here to pay respects to my late wife," I told her, quickly shoving the flowers into the brass holders on either side of Angela's marker, so I could focus my attention on the little hottie.

I couldn't believe the way she slyly grinned, as she took a step closer. When she reached out and touched me, letting her hands slide over my chest, and down over my abs, I half-wondered if I was dreaming, because this kind of shit never happened to me. Usually, I was the one trying to talk women into getting busy with me, and almost no one ever approached me of their own free will.

Considering where we were, especially on Halloween, made it feel even crazier that she was coming onto me.

When she reached down and cupped my balls, realizing where this was headed, I leaned in, slid my hands into her hair and kissed her, not even caring that we were making out right in front of my late wife's resting place.

I chuckled to myself, because just like when we were married, and I used to screw around behind her back, since Angela never caught me in the act, I always figured, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. And wherever Angela was now, I knew she couldn't see a thing.

And if this little cutie was in the mood to fool around, I wasn't about to turn her down, even if we were making out on what was considered to be hallowed ground.

Then holy shit, if she didn't drop to her knees and start tugging down my fly.

I didn't even know her name or where she came from, but if she wanted to suck me off, I wasn't about to say no.

I could feel my eyes pop, hardly able to believe it when she fished out my cock, slipped it between her lips, and started sucking me back, like I was the best thing she'd ever tasted. And holy crow, did she ever know how to give head.

Sinking my hands into her hair, I groaned as she slid me over her tongue and deep into the heat of her mouth. With her eyes laser focused on mine, she tipped back her head and swallowed, and I watched spellbound as she deep-throated me, taking me halfway down her throat!

Desperate to come, savagely twisting her hair in my hands, I roughly grabbed her head, flexed my hips and started fucking her mouth. I could feel my heart pounding like a drum, as my balls got tighter and tighter, letting me know that I was getting ready to blow.

She had my legs trembling as she kept working her magic on my dick. I was so close, I could hardly believe it when, somehow, she managed to take me even deeper. I wondered as she took me balls deep, if I should warn her. But considering the way she was sucking me back like a pro, I didn't think she'd care how big a load I shot down her throat, even if it choked her.

Squeezing her head in my hands, I really started pumping, slamming hard and fast into her face. Then I think I might have yanked a little too hard on her head, because I heard a weird popping sound, and when I looked down, I froze. And I swear my heart almost stalled in my chest.

Because I had her fucking head in my hands, with her lips still wrapped around my cock, and her writhing body was on the floor at my feet!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Her head had come off her body and I was holding the damn thing in my hands, with her big blue eyes staring right at me.

Once I managed to pull my cock free, I dropped her head like a hot potato, and I staggered back and just stood there and shook, wondering what the fuck had just happened.

Part of me knew this had to be a dream, or some kind of weird ass nightmare. Because I couldn't have just been blown by a woman whose head had popped off.

Then I heard a noise like high heels tapping on the floor, and I turned around and another gorgeous woman, even sexier than the last one, was striding towards me, full hips swaying.

Amazingly, I realized I was getting hard again, as she walked towards me in a slinky black dress with her big tits bouncing, her nipples hard as bullets and her long red hair swirling around her shoulders. Fuck, what a vision.

When she walked up, took hold of me by the chin, sank her tongue between my lips and kissed me, for a moment I forgot where I was, and I almost forgot how to breathe, because the woman really knew how to kiss.

My dick was still hanging out of my jeans, and I could feel her stroking it back to life, as I pulled her close and filled my palms with her lush, full ass and squeezed.

I didn't care if I was dreaming, 'cause all I wanted was to feel my cock sinking inside her. And from the way she was grinding on me with her leg wrapped around my thigh, nearly scorching me with the heat of her pussy, I knew she wanted it, too.

Sliding her dress up to her waist, I groaned when I realized she wasn't wearing anything underneath. And all I could feel was the warmth of her silky-smooth skin.

Backing her up against the marble wall, right under my wife's resting place, I lifted her off her feet. Still eagerly kissing my face off, she wrapped her legs around my waist and I growled like beast as I thrust up and felt my cock sinking into the heat of her tight little pussy.

And it just felt so crazy good, I let my head fall back and I shuddered the instant I broached her opening.

But as I began to sink in even deeper, my eyes shot open, and I watched her wicked smile contort her face, and her eyes turn to a horrifying blood red as she clamped down around me like a vice.

I let out a scream as suddenly, it felt like a thousand razor blades were tearing into my cock!

It was like her pussy had teeth, the way it kept grinding and gnawing at me, like it was eating me up. Last thing I remember was me screaming, "Oh, god, please don't take my balls!" Till thankfully, I lost consciousness and passed out on the floor.

**

I couldn't tell you how much time had passed when I finally I woke up in the hospital. I had just peeled open my eyes and I was looking around, and my ears perked up when I realized that there were doctors quietly talking on the other side of the curtain.

"I don't know what happened, but there's nothing left. His penis and testicles are completely gone, and all we could do for him was fit him with a tube to urinate. Poor guy's sex life is over, though."

Never much for prayer, I just prayed with everything I had that they weren't talking about me.

Then they pulled back the curtain, and the taller one braved a smile and said, "Good, you're awake. How are you feeling, Mr. Harris?"

Scared shitless, that's how I was feeling, but I just shrugged. "I'm a little woozy, but otherwise I'm okay."

The shorter one gave me a sympathetic smile as he explained, "We had to operate, and you lost a lot of blood. Do you remember what happened? We're assuming you were using some kind of a device with teeth, and you got a little too close."

When he mentioned the teeth, it all came back, and I remembered sinking my cock into that dick chomping psychopath's cunt. And I also remembered how terrified I felt when her pussy started biting into my deal like a shark in a feeding frenzy.

But it was a little embarrassing to admit what happened, that I'd had sex with a stranger, whose pussy apparently ate my dick. They waited for a few minutes watching me, till I finally decided just to tell them the truth.

As soon as I told them about having sex with the hot lady that seemed to come out of nowhere, whose pussy chewed up my dick, the shorter one muttered to the other one, "Oh, wow, that sounds like a vagina dentata."

"What did you say?" I asked, almost afraid to know what it was.

"Most people assume it's a myth, when anyone talks about a vagina with teeth. But you might have actually encountered one, Mr. Harris, judging from what you've said and the extent of your injuries."

Afraid to lift the sheet and take a look, I asked, "Is it really gone?"

The taller doctor nodded. "We did all we could, but there was nothing left to save."

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the flowers on the table beside me, that looked exactly like the cheap ones I'd put on Angela's marker. And I could feel my eyes pop when I realized that there was a card in her handwriting that said, "Payback's a bitch, huh?"

I sank back against the pillows, hoping I'd wake up from this crazy nightmare, though I knew she got the last laugh.

I guess it was fitting, since I'd always acted like a dick with her right to the end, that she made sure I no longer had one to screw around with anyone else.

Though, I knew the doc was right and my sex life was probably over. But knowing the amazing things they could do with prosthetics these days, I was hopeful that maybe they'd be able to make even a tiny one for me, sort of my own little pocket friend.

And if they could, believe me, I'd learned my lesson, and there'd no more strange hookups for me. Well, at least hopefully none with teeth.