All Comments on 'Paying the Piper'

Ras le bol, pourriez vous écrire des histoires avec des hommes ayant des couilles?

Ok. I really liked the story line. But the suicide that was planned down to the last detail, including the notes years later, was a little over the top. Women cheat on men every day. Most of these stories, they just expect the husband to deal with it, and in some they expect to keep seeing the guy they are cheating with! In this case, wifey was contrite. Not saying he should have stayed with her, but... Killing yourself, because you don’t want to cause your children trauma going thru a divorce, is bullshit! Then letting your kids know 12 years later you voluntarily left their lives, is as bad of a betrayal as the wife screwing around to begin with. I am sure all those good memories that had of their father were now shattered. And knowing he could have chosen to remain in their lives, and didn’t, was 100 times worse than any divorce. At the end of the day, he shattered his kids lives twice, and they will never be the same. Last- Modern cars are pretty good at protecting you from a crash. Unless he was driving a Pinto in reverse, there is no guarantee he would have died. He most likely could have been paralyzed, living in a nursing home. And wifey and her new friend “ Uncle Bennett” could visit him. Maybe wifey could even give him cum kisses, left over from the blowjob in the parking lot! I gave it 4 stars- But if this happened to a real man, Bennet would have been the one to end up in intensive care! 4 stars.

FANTASTIC STORY!!!!!!!

fantastic story

Death instead of divorce to protect your children, BS. Kids deal with divorce every day and if the parents put them first they can handle it. At 20 they are still mostly kids. To blow up their lives without support shows just what a coward you really were. Hell bent on revenge with out any consideration for your children. You're worse than Cindy.

I like the story and the end was new and totally unexpected. I feel it was sad because Rick was dead.

Suicide? Really?!!!!!!?

Suicide is the cowards way out. His kids would have been OK after a divorce if he had been there to support them.

Really well done with describing the husband's emotions. The notion that death is easier than divorce and having to deal with the cheating spouse for the rest of your life, vis a vis the children, rings true with me. But it's the cheating spouse who should commit suicide, and/or be helped along to it by the faithful spouse. You'll do anything for me and the kids now ? Then please kill yourself ASAP so that we can begin getting over this nightmare. Just take enough sleeping pills to do it. And I'll tell them it was an accident that you took too much, and use it as a lesson in being extra careful when using drugs. This would be the most loving thing you could do. Then they would never have to know about your corruption, and could remember you as their loving mom. And they, and I, could then move on much more cleanly and easily and quickly. And I would move on remembering your last act of selfless love for us, helping me to move on from your terrible selfish corruption and betrayal of me and your children. And I would thank you, forever.

I'd like to comment on this story but truly can't. Other than to say. The writing was as always good. The characterisation again good. The storyline is disturbing and just plain wrong on many levels. BardnotBard.

This was a really great story right up until the suicide angle. Why would anyone that was apparently of sound mind, as the character was portrayed, decide to take his own life, in a well thought plan, and would be best for the children, really? And the the voice from the grave after 12 years, sure the kids will now have harsh feelings toward the mother, but I would believe they will hate the loving memory of the father that took his own life and deprived them of the father who they belived loved them enough to never have done anything so callous and stupid. This totally shit the bed at the end.

The 4 choice would be to

Kill the asshole, and spend some time in jail.

Well written. Good character development. Tragic plot. Obviously, readers will question whether suicide was the best option for the wronged spouse, but this is a story, not real life. A man deeply in depression caused by a cheating wife may have seemed rational, but obviously, he was not. It happens when the pain is just too much. This felt very real to me considering it is a fictional story.

To bad that Rick had to die.

the saying of revenge is a dish best served cold fits this to a tee !! not just cold but frigid .

This is IMHO opinion, your best story. Rick telling his children he committed suicide, rather than choosing to be around for them, is not the ending most authors here go for. It shows the damage it had on him mentally, and I think that was the point. He wanted retribution more than to be in his childrens lives. I think criticism for this choice is unwarranted, and comes from those expecting the absolutely unrealistic perfect response from the betrayed husband. Cindy as well was not portrayed as a typical LW character. For those that like clear cut resolutions, this is not their story. It is mine.

No matter how you cut it, suicide is the coward's way out. There was nothing courrageous, honoralbe, or loving in his action. He was consumed by hate and humiliation. A weak and pitiful character. True he inflicts untold harm on the living left behind but with time they can heal.

But eventually when the kids find out what he did they will not think kindly of him. He abandoned them. That will hurt whether they are 12 or 22.

There is nothing good to say about Cindy. More than likely, after 10+ years, she will view his final letter with distain and recognize him as the weakling he was and no longer worthy of her guilt feelings.

he should have just left his clothes, shoes, wallet, sunglasses and beach towel on the beach and then just disappeared somewhere...they would have still got the insurance money and he could have done the exact same stuff to her albeit they wouldn't have found his body in the Pacific but he would be declaread deceased none the less.

What a chickenshit way to end a story! As far as Bennet selling out and going broke, that*s bullshit. Nobody gives 2 shits about some rich guy screwing somebodies wife. The letters to the children will more than likely do more harm than good and the letters to everyone else just makes the MC look weak and petty.

It unfortunate that the author chose for Rick to actually die, in order to exact his revenge/punishment.

Bottom line, he abandoned his kids. Then, why compound the hurt by telling them? Just… no.

Briliant...again.

I think this story deserves more than 5 stars!

What kind of big simpering pussy catches his wife being felt up by her boss, falls to his knees in tears and goes to pieces? That he offed himself in a massive passive-aggressive temper tantrum is only fitting. If dude is going to kill himself, at least let him work over Bennett like a rented mule before he tries to drive across the Pacific.

The Epilogue and it's events on and after Rick's 45th birthday should never have been included. No one, not one single (living) person in Rick's beleaguered life, gained anything from those events but additional pain. Acceptable if Cindy and Bennett had been the only ones affected, but those events also brought pain to Rick's children, parents, and others not deserving it.

So that means that Lori, the ONE single living person who knew ALL of Rick's plan and knew the pain it could cause (and who also chose not to disclose her prior knowledge of Cindy's and Bennett's affair), SHOULD HAVE broken her agreement with Rick after his death and SHOULD HAVE destroyed his 12-years-later notes to Cindy and Brad. She surely must have recognized Rick's mental instability, but followed through with note delivery, anyway. She ignored the pain that she "must" have known keeping her word and delivering those notes would cause. She chose herself to be the bringer of that pain rather than forcing this choice to pass on to the unidentified, and possibly fictional (hah! - irony unintended), "whomever" that Rick claimed to have made "alternate plans" with in the event Lori backed out. So, lacking Rick's excuse of extreme mental distress, Lori's decisions were ultimately poorer (because they were less forgivable). Thus she became, contrary to first impressions, a third (or, is it fourth?) "villain" of the story. Let's review, there's Cindy, Bennett, Rick (for many), and now Lori -- yes, four villains!

Oh, let's just go ahead and add the author (due to his ill-considered Epilogue) to make it five villains -- after all, the story came out of HIS mind (oops, "out of his mind" was an unfortunate accident)!

(3.5-stars)

suicide was the cowards way out...

Only character in the story with any redeeming characteristics was Lori, and she should've lost the note to protect the kids. Better option would've been to move to Austin, get together with Lori, who sounds like she had a real moral compass, deal with a split family, and live happily ever after.

Immensely emotional and powerful story. Very well written. I'm not sure that death is better than divorce. I'm not a psychologist or a counsellor so have nothing to go on other than my gut feelings and they are that death is final leaving the children without any way of saying goodbye or having closure. I really feel that the option chosen, if it was as I had a feeling he had somehow faked his death but I may be wrong, is very much the wrong choice. A dark tale but very well told. BardnotBard

Creative, but I had to skip most of the cheating sex. Please learn to summarize those parts. I also did NOT like Rick offing himself, although I understand the premise. A lot of the aftermath was missing.

Anyone who thinks suicide/death of a parent is better for the children than a divorce truly has their head up their backside.

And now with no father they are about to hate their mother for driving him to kill himself with her cheating, lying and disrespting her husband.

What bullshit. Suicide? Youve written much better.

A bit stunted shifting from first to third person sometimes, messing with tenses in the first letter of Rick, perhaps too wordy as well.

The only bright spot was that Rick cut his losses and moved on, as it should be.

Exposing the wife's actions fully after so many years does not go down well in my opinion.

Revenge, in this case, is digging an extra grave.

"Bennet was loyal."

Staffing married "for the kids" is the dumbest thing 2 people can do. The kids just grow up in a bitter loveless household. Great idea.

All I can say is fucking brilliant!

Great story. Just sad the end was a bit hasty put together. Not saying the end is wrong, but it feels like the writer thought “hey, the story is getting too long.” And made a hasty end to it.

What a loser, cry baby

Brilliant Story!!!!!

Never a fan of the wronged man dying. Also, the story ending was too quick.

Good story. Worthless death.

This is a good,well written story,held my attention to the end.. NO pity for such a loser,a dumb one at that.Commit suicide over a slut??? Wife spends weekends away on the job and not checking up on her?that is unrealistic.Only a stupid husband would trust but not verify.. Unconditional love is a poor excuse used by authors for not doing so.The saving factor, though too late for him to enjoy it, was his ingenious revenge. So my tagging him dumb is not the appropriate choice of description,naive is much better. Stupid still stands on killing himself..5stars..JZK

A great story, but it left a lot of unanswered questions?

I’d love a sequel or two from the author (or a FTDS from someone else to tie up the loose ends.

1/2 How how the kids dealt with their father’s suicide, and their thoughts on what lead to it. After all, Rick killed himself for their benefit.

Were they better off with a dead father than they would have been with a divorced father? How did it affect the remainder of their childhood? After they found out the true story, what is their relationship with the mom like? Do they blame her? Are they mad at her for lying for 12 years? Do they cut off all contact with her? Or maybe there is another outcome?

Continued from my previous comment…

2/2 Another part could focus on Bennett and his thoughts. You portray him as a decent guy at the beginning. What were his motivations to pursue a married women? What were his thoughts after getting caught? How did he deal about being partly responsible for a man’s death? Did he feel guilt or remorse? What happened in the twelve years before their relationship became public knowledge? How deal he deal with his downfall? Could he continue living after he was found out and the empire he spent so much effort building crashed down around him.

This section could also include the perspectives of Lori. Why didn’t she tell Rick about the affair when she first found out? Does she regret not doing so? How did she afford to purchase Davis’ properties, even at a significant discount? Was she planning on doing this for the 12 years after she learned about Rick’s plans?

No man or woman is worth killing yourself for.

The emotional health of children of divorced parents is directly related to 1- the relationship of the parents post divorce 2- the commitment of the divorced couple to fulfill their parental responsibilities 3- the age of the children at the time of divorce 4- factors such as having to move, extended family support, effect on living conditions and a host of other secondary factors.

For Rick to assume the worst case scenario to rationalize his suicide is foolishness

Finally, for Rick to assume the children’s future financial well being is the deciding factor supporting suicide clearly shows his life priorities are unbalanced. Children need role models, stability, firm but loving adult guidance, encouragement, etc. none of which are forthcoming from a dead father.

His actions were motivated by self pity and revenge. Maybe the kids were fortunate not to have him around.

No rating

Never suicidal.

Only ones I give the break to is the ones who go out against overwhelming odds taking a lot of bad people with themselves

Suicide the pain you pass on to family and friends that’s why people say it’s the cowards way out because the person cannot bear the pain any longer but they selfishly expect that their family friends too bare it for the rest of their lives. Fucking selfish prick to do that to his kids, pure fucking evil.