Paying the Piper

Rick looked off into the distance for a moment before responding. "I know you mean what you say Cindy, and I've thought long and hard about that option for us. On the one hand, I do think there could be enough confession and forgiveness for us to stay together." At this, Cindy looked hopeful. "But" Rick continued, "I've determined that won't work for me for two reasons. First, while I'm sure we could get to forgiveness, I see no way of ever getting trust back. The truth is, if you told me the sky was blue and the grass was green, I wouldn't believe you. Never again will you walk out our door for work, that I won't suspect you going to meet your lover, or a new lover. Never again will I be able to live with you without doubts about your fidelity. Secondly, I will never be able to touch you as a husband touches his wife without seeing the face of the man you intentionally picked over me, time and time again. You wanted him, not me. You gave yourself to him without a thought about my love or our relationship. There is no way I see myself ever looking at you again, and not seeing a reflection of Bennett Davis looking back at me."

Cindy's shoulders slumped. She knew he was right, and she wanted to make him understand that she would be faithful going forward, for the rest of their lives, but she also knew she had no right to demand his trust. "I want to fight for us Rick, don't you think we're worth fighting for?"

This was the first moment Cindy saw what could only be described as sheer rage in his eyes. As he glared at her, she physically recoiled from him. He seemed to gain some control of his emotions but there was a cutting edge in his words. "Fight for us, you're going to fight for us? You want me to fight for us?" What do you think I've done every day we've been married? Working hard and advancing in my career was fighting for us. Spending time with our amazing children was fighting for us. Trying to remember all the things you love and enjoy making sure I provided them regularly, was fighting for us. From the little things to the big ones, I've always intentionally fought to make sure you knew I was crazy about us being together forever. How did you fight for us Cindy? You fucked Bennett Davis repeatedly. I'm sorry, I don't see how I'm the one giving up on fighting for us Cindy. You stopped 8 months ago and now you're hurt I won't accept what you've done and move on as if nothing has happened?"

Rick sighed deeply and continued as tears fell from both their eyes. "There are so many questions I want to ask you Cindy, but there is no point in asking someone a question who has lied to you repeatedly over a long period of time. How could I ever trust your words? Perhaps you are sorry, but maybe you'd just say it so you can go back to fucking Bennett behind my back. I want to ask if you've learned anything from this, but no matter what you say, I'll imagine the most important lesson to you will be how not to get caught the next time. I want so badly to go back to the talks we used to have when we shared our hearts with each other but that couple no longer exists. You killed us with your cheating, lies and betrayal. There is no going back there is only going forward with the best possible solution for all of us."

"I realized the other day our night out at the Ritz was after you had been with Bennett. You fucked him over the weekend and then you came home and let me wine and dine the slut I thought was my faithful wife. Goodness, how you must have been laughing at me inside. Your little cuckold, not knowing what a fool he was, so excited to hear how proud his wife was of him. What a complete idiot I've been. But, no more."

Cindy had no rebuttal, only a deep sadness for how terribly she had wounded the man she professed to love with all her heart, all the days of her life. He was right, he had fought for them every day. She was the one who spit on his love with her infidelity. It was her callousness to the husband whom she had adored alone less than a year ago. But her infatuation, her lust and her selfishness had thrown all that away. "Are you going to divorce me Rick?" she finally asked when she was able to formulate the words.

"No Cindy, I'm not going to divorce you and I'm not going to stay married to you. I'm creating a solution that I think will work for everyone. It won't be without pain and loss, but I do believe it is the only tenable solution. I promise I will explain it all to you in just a few more weeks. I'm not going to tell you what to do Cindy, but I am going to explain my steps, my pathway in detail. I'm not asking your input on my choices because, quite frankly, I don't trust you to have my best interest or the best interest of our children at heart. Once you understand my decisions you will be free to make your own. I won't seek to control you in any way."

"But how will I know if you don't share it with me now?" Cindy asked genuinely confused by the direction the conversation had taken. She so wanted to reach out and hold him and have him hold her, but it seemed that would never happen again.

Rick looked her straight in the eyes with dead calm, almost a morbid sense of accepting fate and replied, "You will know."

They talked for a few more minutes, Cindy poking and prodding gently about Rick's vague explanation but he wasn't budging. He was emphatic that she would understand when the time came. "A few months ago, my friend and colleague Lori warned me that if we danced to his tune, the piper would eventually show up and demand payment. I guess she was right."

Rick was surprised to hear that Lori knew what was happening and how she had tried to warn both Cindy and Bennett. This only hurt him deeper. "You mean, before you ever fucked Bennett (he refused to say made love or had sex, just fucked) you were warned, and you didn't stop? You didn't come to me to tell me about your struggle? You just kept right on going?" Tears were now freely flowing from his eyes; her husband was weeping.

Cindy burst into tears again and dropped her head into her hands sobbing uncontrollably. Rick moved and she thought perhaps he was coming to hold her. "Please God, let him come and hold me" she begged in her heart.

Instead, he stood and moved in front of her with his arms folded across his chest. When she looked up he said, "The piper has coming calling for at least a partial payment, maybe someday the full payment will come due."

Two weeks and four days later Rick left for his weekly 'business trip' where he could have some time alone to process and work through his pain. He hugged and kissed his children goodbye, and, to Cindy, he seemed a bit sadder than he had in the last couple of days. "I guess saying goodbye even for 24 hours is hard for him," she thought.

Cindy was sleeping a little better at night, because she was taking Melatonin to help her nightly wrestling match with sleep. Rick had suggested she let the kids spend the night with Mrs. Bowling and her cat. She had become almost an aunt figure to the kids. Rick suggested she could get a good night sleep after a couple of glasses of wine. Cindy agreed and Mrs. Bowling was more than happy to host her young friends.

It was 5:30 the next morning and her cell phone had been ringing nonstop for three minutes before she heard it, turned over and picked it up. The screen caller ID simply said 911.

"Hello" Cindy said trying to force herself to wake up.

"Is this Cindy Thomas, wife of Richard Thomas?" a very professional voice said on the other end of the line.

Cindy sat bolt up in bed, nobody called him Richard. "Yes, it is, is everything alright?"

"I'm sorry Mrs. Thomas, but let me verify that you live at 918 South El Camino Court, is that correct?"

"Yes" she said almost shouting into the phone.

"And can you please tell me the type of car your husband drives?"

A dark grey 2019 Lexus ES, why? Has something happened?"

"Mrs. Thomas I'm sorry to inform you that your husband has been involved in a one car accident on California Highway 79 just west of the Pacific Crest Trailhead near Warner Springs."

"Oh, no, my God" cried Cindy, "Is he OK? Is he at the hospital or in an ambulance?"

"I'm so sorry to tell you, Mrs. Thomas, but the crash was fatal. I don't know any other details accept his body is being transported to UC San Diego Medical Center and should be arriving there within the hour. I'm terribly sorry for your loss."

Cindy was stunned and for a moment couldn't move or even grasp what she had just heard. Then her head exploded with the news and her shrieks would have been heard down the block by anyone who may have been up at that hour. She cried and screamed into her pillow for the better part of an hour before she was spent.

Finally, she began to process. She had to tell the kids, but when and how? She had to call her mom and Rick's parents back in Denver. She needed a friend but wasn't sure where to turn. She had to get to UCSDMC right away, but could she even bring herself to drive? Kelly was in Europe on business so she wouldn't be able to help for several days if at all.

She splashed some water on her face, dressed as quickly as she could, put her hair up in a ponytail and was heading for the front door when the doorbell rang. "How odd," she thought, "It is so early." It was Brad Stanton, the family lawyer and one of Rick's best friends. He looked like somebody had beaten him with a baseball bat. "Cindy, I heard the news about the crash, it was just on the early morning news. I'm so so sorry!" With that she melted into his arms sobbing and shaking violently. Brad held her for a moment in the front doorway.

It wasn't a moment later Mrs. Bowling came out of her house in a bathrobe scurrying across the lawn with concern written all over her face. Cindy was unable to speak so Brad filled in the blanks. Mrs. Bowling began crying but also moved in to take the younger woman, into her caring arms.

After a few moments Cindy began to rally slightly and insisted on getting to the hospital in San Diego. "I must see him! I have to see my Rick!"

Brad and Mrs. Bowling agreed she'd take care of the kids, make up a quick story about where mommy was and get them off to school. They would learn soon enough; it didn't have to be at this moment. Brad insisted on driving Cindy and within 5 minutes they were on the road. Cindy's phone began blowing up with calls and texts from friends. She called her mom who said she would be on the first flight possible. Cindy then had to break the news to Conner and Lilly Thomas, Rick's parents. It was awful. They too promised to be on the first flight they could grab. They figured they'd be there by the time the kids got home from school. Cindy then turned her phone off, starred out into the Pacific and began to cry again.

The next five days were hell. Explaining to the kids, thank goodness grandparents and Mrs. Bowling were there to help. Talking with the authorities, the insurance companies, (there were three separate life insurance policies) making funeral arrangements, reaching out to clients who were on the books for weddings or family gatherings Cindy was running. The list seemed endless.

Cindy was also filled with questions. What was Rick doing over an hour outside of town on a desolate road that early in the morning? While nobody was using the word 'reckless' he was certainly speeding. A toxicology report indicated there was nothing in Rick's blood except blood. No alcohol, drugs or any other substances that would have inhibited his driving ability. His stomach contents revealed he'd had a steak the night before with salad and potatoes, but nothing to drink except water. Cindy was flummoxed.

For his part, Bennett had picked up his phone to text Cindy several times after he heard the news, but in the end, he decided against it. He was certain she was hurting more deeply that could be imagined, and also realized that hearing from him would only make it worse.

Lori was in a meeting with a new client when she got the news. Her administrative assistant Stacey saw the hurt and pain in her face, but also thought it a bit odd she didn't look completely shocked. Lori didn't attend the funeral.

It had been on Friday morning and everyone who knew Rick had been present. Cindy was overwhelmed to hear people talk about him. She knew he was amazing, but as story after story was shared it became clear that her husband had been one of the most faithful friends, caring co-workers, generous bosses, and well-respected person most of them knew. This only drove her to deeper despair as she couldn't help but think if she'd been more in tune with her husband, her affair with Bennett would never have happened and Rick would still be alive today. She was about to find out just how right she was.

It was late Sunday afternoon when Brad showed up at the house. He spoke briefly to Cindy's mom and in-laws who in short order grabbed the kids and headed out the door.

When Cindy came down the stairs, she saw Brad sitting at the kitchen table looking like the cat who had just swallowed the canary. Cindy was puzzled by his appearance and his demeanor. She offered something to drink, he thanked her but declined, inviting her instead to sit with him.

He began, "Cindy I need to tell you two things before I hand you what I've been instructed to hand you. I'm your friend, but I'm not here today as your friend, I'm here representing a client. That client is Rick." Cindy put her hand over her mouth and gasped. Rick continued, "Cindy I say my client is Rick because although he is dead, I'm still acting as his counsel, handling his affairs, both legal and financial. The second thing you must know beyond a shadow of a doubt is I had no idea of what was going to happen to Rick." This seemed odd to Cindy, "How could anyone know what would happen in an accident or even that an accident was going to happen?"

Rick recognized her confusion. "Rick told me verbally and in writing, should anything ever happen to him I was to carry out his wishes. He paid me in full for the work, even though I offered to do it as a friend. He insisted everything be done legal and proper. I do not know the contents of this note, but I do know it is a letter from Rick to you. I am instructed to deliver it to you and leave immediately before you open and read it.

Cindy took the letter from Brad, her hands shaking violently. "What else did he instruct you to do?" she asked. Brad looked a bit sheepish but said, "I'm so sorry Cindy, but that is confidential between me and my client. Rick strictly forbid me from giving you any of the information about our conversations, my responsibilities and his wishes. Again, I am so very sorry." With that Brad got up and left not waiting for Cindy to respond.

Cindy opened the letter and the Piper again appeared to collect some of his due.

Cindy,

By now you know I'm dead and the funeral is over. Brad has handed you this note and has left. The kids are with my parents and or your mom. They know not to come home for a couple of hours as this will be tough for you to digest. This is the third option Cindy; it is the best pathway I could find. I loved you with all my heart and now that is gone. You took it away. This, I believe is the best I can do.

1. You will learn that I purchased 3 acres of property two weeks ago out by the lake at Eagles Nest. This is the reason I was driving on highway 79 where the accident occurred. The story is, I bought this property since I was promoted, and we were both making good money. It was to be a surprise for you and the kids. A place we could build and grow in during the summers and long weekends.

2. This, of course, is a sham. The purchase of the property is a cover story, but whatever you do you must stick with it. The insurance companies will not release the death benefits if they can find something fishy about my death. I visited the new cottage to do some work and decided to get up early and come home. I was in a hurry because I had a 9:30 meeting with a client. That is why I was driving fast and lost control of my car. The insurance companies may dig around a little, but they won't find anything. Brad will take care of this as long as you stick to this story.

3. As far as the insurance is concerned, I've changed my will in the last few weeks. 90% of my money (roughly $3,000,000.00) will go into a trust fund for the kids. They will be able to access whatever they need to pay for college and also grad school if they chose. The rest will be theirs upon their 30th birthday, split evenly 50/50. Again, Brad will take care of these details when the time comes. I'm leaving you 10% or about $300,000.00 to help tide you over until you begin working again in a month or so. I would have left you nothing if my conscience would have allowed it, but I realize you must take care of the kids while you pretend to grieve for me so there is enough to get that done.

4. As far as our beautiful children go, I told you a while back about the psychologist's advice that death is easier for kids than divorce. I investigated deeply and found several studies that indicate this is correct. That is why I couldn't divorce you Cindy, I couldn't do that to my children. I think someday they will learn the truth about everything and at that point they may hate me. I hope they don't but if they do I hope there will be someone to explain to them how unfair life can sometimes be. I'm thankful that for now, and the foreseeable future they can grieve loss and not carry the burden of rejection that comes with divorce.

5. I can't tell you what else to do with your life. I'm guessing you may run back to Bennett but maybe there is someone else who has piqued your interest. Whatever you do, please think of the children first this time and do what is best for them. They'll be out of the house in 9-10yars so perhaps you could keep your lovers away until then.

6. Finally, I have one small favor to ask. When you are finished with this note, burn it until there are no ashes left. If the insurance companies find this, it will ruin our children's financial future. Read it through a couple more times but please, if I ever meant even the slightest thing to you, burn this note. Don't worry, though, maybe someday you'll hear from me again.

Rick

Cindy cried as if she had never cried before. She fell to the floor, sobbing and wailing, calling out Rick's name. She was crushed by the impact of her affair, and she was fearful it was more than she could bear. After an hour or so she finally found the will to sit up and read through the note two more times. Then she walked to the fireplace and burned it until there was nothing left but a small pile of ashes. The Piper had indeed come calling... or so she thought.

Epilogue:

It had been twelve years since that fateful day when Rick Thomas died on California Hwy 79. Truth be told, he died the moment he saw his wife in the arms of another man, betraying him, betraying them, their children and their future. The rest of it had just been the details of how and when.

Cindy never remarried and always kept Rick's secret about his death. She had done as he wished and used the 300K to care for their family during her grieving process. It was over a year before she returned to work. She tried to put on a brave face and make a go of it, but her business was primarily weddings and family reunions, and it was more than she could bear. She went to work for a company that did business event planning and did very well in her career.

On the relationship front she dated occasionally but never met anyone that measured up to Rick. She also saw herself as damaged goods, although counseling had help with that, so she wondered if she met someone and married, would she cheat again? Michael and Sara begged her to go out on dates and try to meet someone. "Dad would want you to be happy" they insisted. "Yes" he always wanted me to be happy" she thought, "And I used that as part of my excuse to destroy him." The pain would come flooding back