All Comments on 'Persistent Ch. 02'

You need professional help. This is sick. There is nothing erotic or sexy about humiliating and disrespecting someone. Of course only a certain type of person will find that idea erotic. Put this crap in the FETISH category where it belongs.

Paul is such a weak, pathetic apology for a man that it makes me want to vomit. No backbone, no self respect. He thinks his slut wife cheated because she implied exactly that. BUT... he does NOTHING about it. Not verbally to her. Nor by actions (ie Leaving the cheating slut) Or by contacting the organisation she works for and laying a complaint with HR. Or even going public and ruining both his slut wife's career plus that of Nicks. I don't advocate violence to Nick but, well, yes, he could have beaten the fucker or paid someone else to do it. That would also put a stop to his career.

Pathetic! She a loser who was okay misleading and lying to Paul from the start. Controlling, female chauvinist asshole. Paul should punish Linda more than Nick but both have some retribution coming. Grow some balls! 1*

@LenardSpencer: I agree, he's spineless. He should have left her, period.

I like your Persistent” piece largely because of Linda — she is an intriguing character who seems entirely consistent with your enthusiasm for “… demanding women taking what they want from both men and other women.” to borrow a line from your Biography. She is a complex work in progress, could say manipulative and cruel, but that is too easy, and clearly insecure in her strength (still adjusting how she would like to see herself). Paul and Nick strike me as male stereotypes designed to highlight Linda — not really foils in conventional sense, but close to being “bunching bags”. And that characterization is not a criticism/complaint, rather an observation/praise for your storyline which is all about her. She, too, is a bit stereotypical at times, but someone with agency. The fact that readers may be uncomfortable with some of her behavior (as evidenced by some rants) is a credit to how well you are developing this character. She certainly garners reader attention. No actual erotic moments, which is in line with tenor of this piece. I enjoy thinking about your story/theme(s) and your characters. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

You've obviously never met a real man or men. Both Nick and Paul are caricatures of what you'd like men to be. Weak, insipid and lacking any backbone. I guess your pen name describes your fantasy world where women rule the roost. In the real world where the rest of us live, Paul kicks Linda to the curb and Nick has a tragic accident. Hope you never treat a real man in the way you've written this story. It won't turn out well, he won't come licking your feet, worshipping you. He'll just toss you aside for someone better, which won't be hard to find.

@Migbird: Thank you for your perfect analysis. I like seeing involuntary mood changes in people and sex as the carrot leading them to do wrong things in stories (not in real life).

@Anonymous user with the comment starting "You've obviously never met a real man or men.":

First of all, I am a man, I am straight and I don't want anyone (male or female) licking my feet (Eww).

I don't write about real people and I don't really empathize with characters in my stories (except wishing to have something that Rupert had in Mt. Bachelor series). I don't like ups and downs or stress in my real life. Normally, Paul had to beat or threaten Nick when he heard he was hitting on his loving wife but he just had to leave her (after some swearing maybe) when she cheated because this time she participated in that act, she didn't deserve his concern, she wasn't his 'loving wife' anymore.

But to make that type of a story, I need some extraordinary characters. Normal characters having dinner at night and watching TV is not my cup of tea. I find realistic stuff intriguing but not the ones you see normally.

I don't want to be dominated by a woman in real life but I like reading such stories.

I may have misguided many readers by my choice of categories but believe me, it's real hard for me to decide. Loving wives is the category where you would think "people who don't like stories about cheating wives will stay far", that's why I started the series there. Thanks for your thoughts.

P1 was awesome! one of the best, P2 as a major let down and disappointing. Not keen on humiliation, and really had nothing to do with cheating like P1 did.

@Anonymous user who liked P1 and where it was going, I wrote an alternative Chapter 2 for this series (which ends in the 2nd chapter) that goes in a different direction. I believe you may find it interesting. I posted it already, I think it will be published this week. Thank you for your comments.

If you can find a proof reader for the minor mistakes and mix ups concerning the pronouns here and there you have an interesting story developing here. Of course the insecure readers are going to criticize any moments of weakness and indecision in the characters, but if everybody made the right choices all the time the stories would be boring and very short.

@Tegge, I understand that you scored 1 and you also stated why you didn't like it. Thanks.

I agree about the normal life behavior expectation from Paul but in that case, there wouldn't be a story. I mean there would be but it wouldn't have erotica in it. It would be a normal TV scenario.

I partially agree on Linda part, but not completely. She had to live with her burden but also she's human; she has her own weaknesses, she made her mistake and she is adjusting to remove herself from that mood.

She's not right but no part of that was planned or controlling. I tried to show it as a defense mechanism, maybe I couldn't. Again, thanks for the comment.

A true feeling and demeanor story of how a woman changes into an aggressive person. She is a unlikeable person and not someone I'd be attractive to, however the writer makes and describes the transaction very well. I also like how she takes back control after the elevator scene. She gets back her sense of worth and plays this with her husband daring him to step up. Divorce is a blessing for this couple as they no longer have a relationship.

Ended in the latrine. Talk about putrefied characters, if it stinks, there is the crap.

Very disappointing.

Captcha

Worse than the first part.

Ridiculous. Part 1 meandered around like a drunken fool, and then we hit part two, and you fell straight into the Hollywood trap. Faking drama. A typical Hollywood moment is something like this. Guy comes home late for their anniversary. Wife explodes and walks out on him. He doesn't tell her he was in an accident and, as a doctor, saved two people at the scene that were dying. He stands there and takes her abuse without saying anything.

Bullshit!

She did the same thing when she failed to tell him she hadn't slept with him. He exploded and walked out. It's fake drama and has no place in a real story. I skimmed past that, but you could see it was just deteriorating badly. No marks.

@Anonymous, I agree about that HW cliche and I hate it as well.

But it has no significance in this story. She already sees what she'd done the same as sleeping with him and in fact she already cheated, it does not make a difference.

That wasn't my intention.

It wasn't a delayed trick to turn things around. Maybe, telling it late (probably in the right time) helped him decide while struggling and failing to leave her; it wouldn't matter that much if she told in the first place (maybe).

He would have stormed out again.

Good comment, thanks.

Good God, what a meandering mess. Paragraph after paragraph of pseudo-introspection and psycho-babbling analysis. Boring, boring, boring. It completely bogs the story down. Plus, they are both assholes. Why bother?

Psycho-babbling analysis is not what I'm trying to do, that's how I write. I can't jump from one state to the other, it's harder for me.

lol, the story teller doesn't like his scores! ONE tiny little star!

@RanDog025, I wonder how you came up with that. Just the opposite, I thanked a reader who gave 1 and stated their reason for that.

If you had a non-imaginary reason, I'd thank you too.

Good story. He did act like a loser.

I actually hate this fûcking story, pure Femdom agitprop. But, it was intriguing and well told despite the amateur psychology. She eviscerates her husband then feeds on his corpse. Now there’s a role model for the modern feminist. But, I realize you humiliation cucks must love it.

I meant to add that I haven”t seen this exact approach to the Loving Wives drama before. Kudos for that.

@HighBrow

This is not chapter is about cucks, was this comment about the alternative 2nd chapter?

This one is about the woman.

Her ex needs to call the newspapers and find a real woman.

"Her ex needs to call the newspapers and find a real woman." :

:))

I guess if he manages to man up, he won't have trouble finding a real woman. I don't think he needs to place an ad on newspapers for that.

Thanks :)