Pharr Flung (Well Hung) Tours

We again nodded in unison, "Yeah, we understand the attraction. That's kind where we're coming from ourselves."

"Well, I'll go inform Vance of our change in plans. I hope you two get to enjoy the exotic landscapes with Vance. I thought it all sounded kind of erotic on the website. Good luck, you're going to need sharp wits, wicked claws and a little charming good fortune to out maneuver the fierce competition here." We never saw Alex or Alex again.

*****

Vance hosted an early morning breakfast table with his five remaining guest in the small hotel dining room. Loria and I had dressed in comfortable hiking pants and loose-fitting shirts as instructed on Pharr Flung Adventure's website. We seemed to be alone in our naiveté when it came to fashion. We were the last to arrive at the table. Presumably Mirsa had been the first to arrive, waiting at the table for Vance to show. Natasha and Becky Raccoon were early as well. I couldn't image what time these ladies got up this morning to do their hair and makeup, they looked amazing -- except Becky Raccoon, who had again troweled on the tar-baby mascara and eye shadow. If I didn't know better, I'd say that none of the three had time to get fully dressed this morning. Mirsa arrive at breakfast dressed in a loose white tank top and a pair of short shorts, choosing a seat next to the cool glass window and under the air vent; a chilled location that allowed her nipples to stay prominent as they poked proudly through her thin top. Natasha appeared wearing a lacey red bra, nominally covered by a silk robe whose sash had somehow become untied; she never tried to re-tie it. Becky Raccoon had managed to squeeze her buttocks into a pair of skinny jeans and then stuff herself into a fresh bustier, stopping there with her clothing choices.

The conversation was about Alex Weiszee. Loria and I were the only ones who had been told of his green scrotum and painful nuts, hard and as big as avocado pits. I was pleased to share with everyone what Alex had reported about her husband's strange medical condition.

Natasha asked Vance if Mr. Weiszee had been cursed by Juanita for his unappreciative comments about her cooking. He acknowledged that many of the people in the area believed in the powers of curanderas, even over modern medicine. Many swore that there were brujas among us in this, the 'land of enchantment'.

Loria asked Vance if he believed in witches and curses. Vance looked around the table and put it this way, "I don't know what I don't know. I'm a geologist, a scientist by training, but I've spent enough time in the desert and I've gotten to know enough of the locals who tell me stories and I don't think that they're joking when they talk of curses, witches and supernatural phenomena that they swear they've seen firsthand."

Mirsa leaned forward on the table, allowing the neckline of her top to hang low on her tits, "Are you going to tell us some of those stories on our tour Vance?"

Natasha straightened up so that the edges of her red silk robe fell open, hanging on the centers of her full, rounded chest bunched inside her lacey cups which did little to veil silver dollar sized coloration surrounding her perky nipples. "Vance, will you be taking me to place where there is witches? In my country, we have place in the forest where witches do strange things to people who come too far into the trees. I believe in this thing, but I did not believe that this thing is in America. But now I think Mr. Weiszee is having a curse on his man penis."

Becky Raccoon drew her shoulders together to accentuate her well-displayed cleavage, "I'd just love to listen to whatever you have to tell me. I could listen to you all day and I would love to listen to you all night; I hope it works out that way for us," she batted her eyes as she finished her statement of desires.

"Yes ladies, I'll tell you plenty of stories. And now that Alex Weiszee is no longer with us, I'll also point out some geologic and scientific things that I think are interesting."

I scooped up a bit of chorizo, egg and spinach that had fallen out of my burrito and finished swallowing, then asked Vance, "Are we going to visit any witch sites on this tour?"

"Funny you should ask Meredith, today's first stop, just up the road, is Abiquiu. Abiquiu, of course is best known now as the home of Georgia O'Keefe, famous 20^th Century American artist known for painting the stark and colorful landscapes around here. I like to begin our tour of exotic, out-of-the-way places by presenting an artist's perspective on the geologic landscape, kind of a counterweight to my approach as a scientifically trained geologist. But, speaking of witches, long before Georgia O'Keefe, Abiquiu was the site of the Abiquiu Witch Trials in the 1750's and '60's. We'll be staying in Abiquiu tonight, the fabled center of sorcery and female supernatural powers.

Becky Raccoon drew a deep breath, "I am fascinated by the idea of powerful women and witches enchanting people and casting spells. Are there any other witch places you can take us to see Vance?"

Vance gave a shy smile and looked down at his empty plate and seemed hesitant to answer the question. Mirsa pushed even closer to Vance and put her hands on his square shoulder, "What's the matter Vance? Are you afraid to tell us about woman with enchanting powers, women endowed with supernatural charm?" She lifted herself so that her erect nipples brushed his arm.

Vance kept his face down and gave his idea some thought before speaking. "I plan for us all to visit a little-know spot out in Utah. I did not get very specific about the place on my website; I merely mentioned the interesting geologic formations there. It's an exotic location called the Canyon of the Vaginas. There is a legend that goes with this location that comes from the native peoples of the area; it involves a witch and an erotic story that matches the geology. I did not want to be too specific about this place online, I'm afraid that if I mentioned the erotic nature of this place; a place with permanently erect penises and a large, gapping vagina it would scare off customers. They might conclude I was some desert-wandering pervert. That could be bad for business."

"Or good for business, depends," was Mirsa's retort.

Natasha's robe fell open a tiny bit more, "No, you must not say to me those ideas. I much admire you as strong American man and I say to you, you are to thrill me with stories as you have just said that are to be secret. Please tell me these stories."

The temperature around the table rose a few degrees as we all insisted that any legends that tied to the geologic landscape must be told as part of the tour. Besides, we were all big girls and we were able to hear tales of legendary vaginas and penises without reporting him to the sheriff. The chorus of pleas rising from half-dressed, aroused young ladies at his table persuaded him to spill the beans and give us a preview of the mysterious 'Canyon of the Vaginas' scheduled for Day 4 of our tour.

Vance, growing in confidence and probably growing in other places, shifted in his chair and with a brief adjustment to his pants -- which we all noticed, began telling us the secret, erotic legend. "On Day 4 I'll take you to a place that is unnamed on the US Geological Survey Map, but those of us that know of its existence, know it as the 'Canyon of the Vaginas', for good reason."

Vance began to describe the geology of the place, "When we arrive we will hike across a forested sandstone plateau. The sandstone forms a cliff, and the cliff is cut by a small stream, forming a tight canyon. Inside the canyon, the sandstone walls have localized concentrations of minerals, in this case, iron oxide; what everyone knows as rust. Radiating out from these reddish pink mineralized knobs within the pale yellow sandstone are a series concentric lines, what geologist call Liesegang Banding. The red-pink Liesegang Bands are shaped like this," Vance held his up his hands, palms out, connecting thumb-to-thumb and pointer fingers tip-to-tip. "Yup, it takes very little imagination for everyone recognizes this shape as the shape of a woman's vagina. Inside the canyon it looks like a bunch of vaginas opening out into the canyon. It looked like that to the Indians and it looks like that everyone who visits now."

All the ladies sitting around Vance looked flush and squirmed ever so slightly in their chairs as they sat listening to the naughty geology lesson. Natasha interrupted, "How is this a witch? We all have pussies and maybe not all with the pussy is a witch."

Vance chuckled at the Natasha's urging to get to the supernatural legend part. Feeling more comfortable with the subject and the erotic turn his audience was begging him to divulge; Vance replied, "Don't everyone get their panties in a wad, I've got to explain the penis geology before we get to the witch legend."

Mirsa audibly whispered to Vance, "I won't get mine in a wad -- I'm not wearing any this morning."

Becky Raccoon followed, "Vance, you just go right ahead and tell it the way you need to; I could just listen to you all day and night. I want to listen to you tell me stories of pussies and penises. I'm all ears," as she thrust her bunched boobs forward, implying she was really all tits.

"Do any of you ladies mind if I talk about a bunch of erect penises right now?" I think Vance knew the answer among every girl at the table was a going to be a salivating 'no'. Vance smiled as he looked around at all the breasts being presented by his tour guests as they waited for a titillating tale from him. He continued the erotic geology lesson; "The sandstone that forms the walls in the Vagina Canyon is deposited on top of a red, Permian Age shale. The red shale is softer and easier to erode than the harder sandstone on top of it. Over time, much of the sandstone cracked and was worn away. But a few hard pockets of sandstone are still there, and because these sandstone tops protect the softer shale underneath from being weathered away, we are left with pillars formed by a layer of hard protective rock on top of a layer of red Permian shale below. This geomorphologic shape is a pillar, referred to in the business as a 'hoodoo'."

Loria snickered, "You're kidding us. You want us to believe that the scientific name for a rock that sticks up from the ground like a rock hard erection in called a hoodoo?"

Mirsa snuggled close to Vance in his defense, "I want to see a hoodoo, no matter what you want to call it. I think hoodoo is a good name for a rock like a hard cock."

"Loria, I'm not making this up, it's too good to be true, I agree. Anyway, as you come out of The Canyon of the Vaginas and descend a slight slope, you come face to face with a hoodoo formation, a garden of reddish pillars standing five to seven feet."

"The bigger the better if you ask me," said Becky Raccoon as she used her hands to reposition her boobs inside her light pink bustier; hinting that she had bigger boobs than anyone else at the table, as well as the dimension of any cock that she would hope to enjoy. Vance cleared his throat after allowing Becky Raccoon to finish her tata taunting. "OK, Natasha and everyone else, here comes the erotica legend part, shall I proceed to get a little explicit?"

Every female was more than ready to have Vance begin his tour with an erotic story; it seems that's what we were all here for anyway. All the ladies seemed to have imagined Vance's well-hung hoodoo before signing up for the tour. Vance spun the tale by starting, "The tale is told of a band of Indians which were camped at the base of the sandstone cliff many moons ago. All of the men left to go hunting, leaving the women and children behind at the camp next to the small stream coming out of the canyon. While their men were out hunting, another hunting party from a hostile tribe spotted the camp of women and planned to raid the camp, raping the women and taking them away as slaves for sex and domestic duties. The attacking band of hunters from the enemy tribe was unaware that a powerful witch lived in the canyon and was poised to defend the women encamped there. As the scheming men, filled with lust in their hearts, approached the camp of women in stealth, they were surprised to be met by a beautiful woman outside of the camp. She opened her elaborate robe and displayed her round breasts in the morning sun to every lusting man coming across the open land. The witch had taken the shape of a tall and beautiful woman and stood before the raiding party blocking their way. Pointing to the leader, she told him that neither he nor his men could pass until she had been taken and vigorously fucked; first by him and then by every one of his men.

The leader, welcoming the opportunity to take this beautiful woman standing before him as his trophy, dropped his buckskins, exposing his erect penis as he rushed to seize her and have his way with his prize. As the witch watched him come to take hold of her, she dropped her robe, filled with strong medicine, to the ground and reclined upon it. The beautiful witch spread her legs before her assailant and welcomed him. He was about to mount her, when she mocked the size of his penis, asking "Are all of the men among your people endowed with such tiny penises?" The witch taunted him, "You claim a high honor in leading these men, but you look like the smallest and least of all the men before me. You will not be able to satisfy me with such a small piece of manhood."

Infuriated at the insults he had received, he threw himself upon her spread open legs to prove the fullness of his manhood. The warrior drove into her with the ferocity of a swarm of hornets, but the medicine in the witch's robe robbed him of his virility and she again mocked him, "It feels like a mouse is fucking me, can you not satisfy me?" The man became tired in his efforts and was unable to put his seed into the beautiful woman lying beneath him. In exhaustion and shame he fell into an enchanted sleep.

The witch called out a challenge to all of the men standing around watching their mighty leader, "You braves who have come to take the women before you; there is not the strength among the whole bunch of you to overcome the women you desire. Your manhood is pale and weak and no woman would have you."

The entire band of hunters answered her in anger, saying, "Have we not sired many sons among us? We are able take any woman we desire, we are strong and able to impregnate any woman we want."

The beautiful woman reclining on her robe of strong medicine challenged them all, "Show me your manful spears. I think you are all weak and small like this man on top of me who has failed to satisfy me and has now fallen asleep. Your entire band of man-babies will be unable to put a single drop of your seed into me, much less be able to fill my vagina with your ejaculate." The men all stripped naked and rushed toward the witch to prove themselves viral and powerful in their loins.

The witch opened her legs wide and threw open her vagina to make a very large opening to entice every man to fuck her at the same time. With her enlarged vagina she took every manly spear that was hurled at her and tucked every penis available up inside her, allowing them to all fuck her at once. The braves humped and pumped with great moans, thrusting themselves into the great vagina before them, but not a single man was able to produce his seed because the medicine in the witch's robe.

The witch's feminine power and magic forced all of the braves to ejaculate inside their own bodies with their own seed and not into the woman beneath them. Her magic forced them to copulate within themselves, inward, not outward. Once they ejaculated inside their own bodies, they immediately turned to stone. Every one of those Indian braves can be seen to this very day with an everlasting erection pointing to the sky. Each towering hoodoo a testament to the mystery of a woman's pussy and its power to protect, procreate and punish any man who foolishly rushes in to take it without due respect for the power of the feminine hidden within its fleshly folds.

The leader of the raiding party awoke from his enchanted sleep and realized that all of his men had been turned to stone while their cocks were erect. He fled from the Canyon of the Vaginas to warn that no man should ever come there again, for a beautiful witch will seduce you. If you try and fuck her, you will be turned into a tall standing rock penis. The Canyon of the Vaginas is only to be visited by women according to legend.

Mirsa checked to make sure that her nipples were still visible through her top, which they were, and then asked, "Vance, if only women can go to the Canyon of the Vaginas, are you going to be able to take me there? You know I'd love to see those vaginas and cocks with you as my personal guide."

Vance grinned broadly as he looked around the table, every one of us had enjoyed his tale and we were now all eager beavers to visit the eroticized landscape. I had become sexually worked up imagining a massive pussy being pounded by a band of men. "Don't worry ladies, I will show you everything at the Canyon of the Vaginas on Day 4. My specialty is touring out-of-the-way places, but we have a few stops before we work our way up to Utah to see this erotic exotic geologic locality."

Natasha asked, "Is still this witch protecting this Vagina Canyon Vance?"

"That's a tricky question. As a geologist, I can scientifically explain the hoodoos and the Liesegang banding that very much resemble rock-hard peckers and pussies; but I also respect the legend and treat it with the upmost circumspection. Therefore, I believe I can enter the canyon without being cursed or having my own penis forever turned into stone. Besides, if the witch is not protecting the Canyon of the Vaginas, federal law and the Bureau of Land Management certainly is."

"Are you saying it's against the law to go there?" asked Becky Raccoon.

"No, I'm saying that over the centuries the Canyon of the Vaginas has been visited by women who have carved into the sandstone walls etchings of their own feminine genitalia; a talisman for fertility or perhaps other female issues. Those ancient carvings are antiquities which are protected by federal law. No new carvings as a supplication to the resident witch are allowed these days."

After his story, Vance looked around at all of us fawning females, getting aroused and a little wet by his story. "All right ladies, for obvious reasons I did not even hint at this in my description of out-of-the-way places on the tour. But since y'all seem so interested and have gotten me talking out of school here this morning; I'm going to tell you a deeper erotic element to the Canyon of the Vaginas." He paused, unsure whether this was the proper thing to say, "Carving an image of your own vagina into the sandstone is unlawful, but the very few who know about this place say there is a magic in the canyon. It is said that when a woman approaches the Canyon of the Vaginas she insults the witch if she's covering her intimate parts. So, when women walk down the trail toward the Canyon's mouth, many women remove their panties and hang them on a staff or tree branch as an offering to the feminine powers of the place. And..." Vance again looked around before he continued, "The Canyon of the Vaginas is said by women who have visited it to be a place where they often feel they can receive powers filling their vaginas by finding a place off the trail and working on their thoughts and twats; if you understand what I mean. Some women tell me that they have visions while exploring their bodies during personal time inside the Canyon."

Mirsa beamed at the thought, "I'm ready to have my vagina filled with magic, I can't wait to try it."