All Comments on 'Playa Dust in the Bedouin'

One of the best stories I have read....

Outstanding!

WOW, just wow. Had no intentions of reading a 19 page story but you just sucked me right in. The build up, the emotions, the world that you created. Nothing that I could write would do it justice. Thank you for what I consider to be a literary gift.

I really enjoyed this story

Intense, funny, sad. Reminded me of post Vietnam and the wall

Hot and sexy. The setting was everything. Felt like I was there. I need a shower to wash the dust off.

Well done. The storytelling and the characters drag you in and along for the ride.

That was beautiful. Can't think of another way to put it, but it had everything in good measure. Thank you.

totally epic

Wow that was a great storey, enjoyed it so much. I had never heard of Burning Man, looked it up on the internet, so awesome, would love to attend. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

As good as it gets!

Welcome back, great story!

Fantastic story! Not so much for the sex part but it really made me want to experience Burning Man. Not so much for the potential sex but for the art, up for a few days and then burnt down. I hate long stories here, but the least good part was the end with lots of sex while the art parts were far more interesting. A clear 5!!!

Excellent as always.

Most amazing story ever posted here! An entire gamut of emotions all over one story!

Simply incredible.

This story was a wonderful gift. Real developing characters. A setting to show the impermanence of life but the deep connections that can flow between us. Pain, healing, release. Life examined, life experienced. Thank you!!

Beautiful written!

We need to know of what happened during 'pack down' and what happened after John and Olivia's first shower together!!

As a burner I must say your research was quite accurate and brought many memories back. Well done!

Quite simply the best thing I have ever read on literotica.

Someone said 19 pages = automatic 1. I say 19 pages were not enough. It went a little slow at times for me, but overall, I could read another 19 pages.

A tour de force, capturing the vibe from the point of view of a newbie at the celebration.

The sex & relationship was good, too.

Great story with great characters. You pulled me in and I loved it. Well done and thanks for sharing.

Magnificent! Thank you for writing. I think I will read it again real soon!!! Brother and sister seemed so natural. The images you described were amazing!

Amazing. Loved the descriptiveness and attention to detail, made everything feel authentic. The characters were great, as was the romance. My wife is an Iraq war veteran also with PTSD and and you touched on all of that in a very moving way. If I could give 10 stars, I would.

Wonderful story. I’ve always wanted to go to Burning Man. But I am a year away from 80, on the east coast and not too mobile. It will remain a dream. Your research certainly was on the mark according to my own. Vita brevis, art even shorter? (Not my belief but hey!)

Wow, great story!

Great story. Vivid descriptions of buring man made the story seam real. I liked how you wove in the the PTSD issues with the main character and his reactions to all the sensory overload. I think from all the positive comments you need to continue the story. Again one of the best stories on literotica.

Not many writers here can sustain a long story that is so ambitious. When I saw it was 19 pages, I thought Ok....we'll start, and see how long we go. I am so glad I made it all the way. Really excellent story. One of the best I've read here. Thanks for sharing this.

First, I really like long stories, this one was perfect. And I have been there, twice. I read it parts to my wife and got laughs from her, which is rare. Love the story.

Holy crap did you hit the nail on the head with this one , this isn’t incest it’s a love story 5/5

Didn't need the sex... the story itself was 5*. The sex was very good, but I could have lived with the slow burn tease. Great read.

I didn't like olivia at first. She was a user who cared only for herself and what SHE wanted. I like how you had both her and John q grow as people during the week. Well done!

Lovely

Terrific story arc, lots of backstory and character development and a great premise. Didn’t start by liking the characters much but ended up loving them all.

The typos were a little jarring but even they reminded me how much I was enjoying the story and could forgive a lot.

Felt sweaty and grimy the whole time.

Oh, and the slow build of the sexual story was well paced and believable.

I’ve found that a physical or emotional injury can make a character more real and sympathetic.

Very nicely done.

I made an account just so I could comment and show my appreciation for this fantastic story, the romance and the writing was so well done. I didn't want the story to stop. Sincerely hoping that there is a part two to this story coming up. 70k words didn't feel long enough.

Incredibly great story 😊

Been on Lit for decades. Too lazy to find my old account info. NEVER commented on a story.... EVER.

If you don't win first place in the contest, the world has lost all sense. MSTarot, you are a genius, and this story is wonderful. Not just 5 stars, more like 15 bajillion of them. Possibly one of the best I've ever read.

Thanks for the stories and the healing wrapped into one.

Good story, great story, oh and Kandahar city was one trap after another. But here I am.

Simply amazing. I'm off words.

Fuck!! I truly wish there was a way to give ya more than just 5⭐️. And I agree with the last guy. If you don’t win for this one the system is broken.

Wonderful story. If there's ever a holy book made of Burning Man, this should be in it.

Good story. IMO, too long for a contest. Politics should not be in a contest story, also IMO. Sorry took off a star.

I did enjoy the story overall.

Fine 'dust in the wind.' 5 + fave.

I have never heard of "The Burning Man" before, but if I was 40 years younger I would be there. Your Veterans were believable. Their attitudes, speech and feelings were very real. 50+ years later I stil hate fireworks! Thanks "A whacked out Vietnam Vet"

One he'll of a story and covered PTSD well. Too long for a competition entry but other than that I cannot fault it at all

I've been reading here on Lit for 22 years now and I've read some damned good stories. This one evoked more emotions out of me than any other before it. The simple saying that John wrote on the temple wall will remain with me for the rest of my life. ~ I wasn't done being friends with you guys.~ Thank you!

Damn! A bit slow getting to the action but great story.

Fantastic and Thank you for the closure. With this past year’s Burning Man and the rain that occurred I think and return to Burning Man might be interesting.

A great story, a service to veterans, and to those who hate war and love peace.

Wow. First time a Lit story had me cry more than once. The moment with the bare footed man at the temple - I might put that quote to good use.

Amazing story - as always!

One of the best stories I’ve read on here. As a veteran myself I really appreciated and resonated with this story. Thank you so much for writing this. Absolutely amazing!

I can't believe you've never been to Burning Man! you captured it so perfectly. Wild. Loved the story and the memories it brought back.

Wow, I know this sounds silly, but I was so into this story that, when I reached the end, I was honestly shocked that I could only give it five stars.

So glad you are writing again. This is your best ever and I was sad to reach the end. It should have been the winner.

I have heard about the Burning Man, never been either. Really enjoyed reading your story.

I join in the accolades, BUT—am I really the only reader who was hugely put off by the three-ways? I just don’t get how two people as much in love as those here want or need to share their committed intimacy.

Didn't care that much for the incest aspect - it could have been a nice healing romance with the vegan pixie Gloria. But the description of the main character, his past, his emotions and his experience of Burning Man was touching.

Great read, enjoyable not just as porn but a story with believable characters and setting. You do not need an editor BUT thorough proofreading would get rid of all the word use issues, homophone problems and other stuff that will never be caught by spell check. Thanks for an enjoyable time.

This was a wonderfull tale to read, it avoided a lot of porn tropes. It flowed and was a genuinely artfuly spun story with heart. I too have never been to burning man but want to

I am shocked you haven’t been in the dust and only researched online/ YouTube, name dropping art cars and installations is one thing. Capturing the weight on the Temple accurately is another thing entirely. The Temple is where we truly feel and understand what Burning Man means. As someone who calls BRC home, I thank you for showing it so much respect. As some who loves to read, this story is absolutely fantastic. As a fan of literotica, I am blown away that I read 19 pages and wanted more story, it was so good, the sex was just bonus! If you ever decide you are interested in getting dusty, please do not hesitate to drop a DM I would be happy to help make that happen.

Thoroughly enjoyable!

If there was a way to organize and rate my favorites this would be #1 on my list. Yes people come here to read about hot sex, but the background/memories and the way it is portrayed is outstanding. Not sure that I want to venture out to Burning Man, but the descriptions and actions make for a very well written story. Build up of the relationship between siblings is believable, and the scene with the audience is...... f-ing HOTT. Great story!

loved it!

Actually one of the best stories posted on this site in the last few years

A Van Gogh of metaphor. Thanks

I loved the story overall, just will NEVER understand why writers have to put smoking into their stories, it adds nothing to it, but for me it distracts from the story hugely. I really liked it, and will check other storied you have written now.

Thank you,

C

Humans are, for all of our differences, united in our vices. Our many and varied addictions.

As a writer, you have to make connections with your readers, but those readers are all different. Some drink, some are teetotalers. Some smoke, some are as anti-tobacco as possible.

That me adding a cigar did nothing for you, true, sure enough. But one of my readers who does smoke will recognize the brand names I used. Know them and that will add to their enjoyment of the story.

I always have coffee in my stories. Same thing.

The names of the vehicles in the story. Same.

Even the names of the characters are used to make a connection. An example is that the main character is named John -an incredibly common name. (His name is John Quigley, ie John Q Public, the common man.)

In the end, you can only do your best as a writer to build those small connections, and it is often hit or miss. And you can never really tell which ones hook the reader deeper. Someone commented I shouldn't have put politics in the story. From my perspective, I didn't. As John said, Many veterans are angry about the wars they took part in. But some saw that statement as politically bent one way against the other. Shrug.

I juggle words, I drink coffee and rum, and I go write another one. MST.

Extremely well written and edited. A great human interest story. Mediocre sexual content and about 9 pages too long.

bbs

as a 5 time burner and a vet. I can not believe how accurate this story is.

thank you

As a veteran and a cigar smoker, you nailed it. Can't imagine the triggers at a place like Burning Man, and most relapses aren't over that quickly.... well written and maybe just a little long. Wish you had written a longer epilogue about life upon returning home. Thanks for this

Not really a review, because I gave up after a page, but I'll let you know why I didn't finish. Proofreading: weird sentance structure, commas where they shouldn't be, a "that's what she said" joke that had no discernible setup. Sizes that took me out of the story: a 50x50 ft tent is the kind of thing you have a wedding reception in (I couldn't find specs on how big that would be packed up, but I'm guessing it is the size of a car, if not bigger) not something you have squirrelled away, the 10x12 Coleman was already a big tent; a 55 gallon drum of liquid would take multiple people, or a forklift, to move when full and would be weird to just have; five inch height difference isn't "towering over," it's not being able to stand directly behind someone in a photo. It really seems like you researched what kind of stuff people have/rent at burning man and worked backwards instead of figuring out what an experienced camper would have to use at burning man.

Your reviews are overwhelmingly positive, I suspect that people who noticed what I did gave up when they saw the length and didn't review. I didn't review either.

Great story, thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn’t think it was too long, could’ve even used an epilogue page. I enjoyed all the cigar talk as well, good choices if those are what you smoke.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story, especially its pacing and description of experiences few of us have probably shared. Both thumbs up. The ultra picky “non-review” by the proofreading policeman was a buzz kill, and not just because I was bothered by the misspelling of the word sentance (sic) in the admonition about proofreading. Complaints about insufficient research that were preceded by an admission of not researching Bedouin tents was ironic. A tent that was typically transported on a camel’s back could surely fit in the back of a pickup truck. Along with a 55-gallon drum of water, which could have remained there for the duration. And they are not that uncommon, in fact, they are readily available at feed stores for use as horse troughs (when cut in half) or for those storing water for emergencies. And by the way, Burning Man should be capitalized.

Since it has come up twice now in comments ... .

The size of the tent in the story is based on one used by a friend of mine who is a ren fair merchant. His is 50by50 modern canvas and when rolled up is the size of an aluminum trash can, the small metal ones. I figured Jack's made out of goat wool would be just a hint bigger.

Living in the desert at Burning Man requires at least a gallon of water per person per day. The water tank was placed in the van empty and then filled up. And yes, it stayed in the van all week. Why move it?

If I put every small detail like that into the story it would have been 30 pages.

I am a dyslexic author. That it is even readable is a miracle, trust me. Every current story of mine has been proofread by me at least 5 times. This story went through four spell checks, and I reread it I know at least 8 times (it took a year to write) If you still find spelling mistakes, bless your heart, I'm sorry. I only can do my best.

I would like to thank everyone for their comments, I have loved them.

Excellent, Good and bad memories evoked. John's story was right on, it's not always the wounds you have but the feeling that you should be with your brothers.

Please ignore those who disliked this because of spelling mistakes or nitpicking over the size of a tent.

I was aroused, moved, and touched by your insight into veteran’s PTSD. More power to your arm, and thank you.

Wow. This may be the only Literotica story I actually read for the story, with the sex being more-or-less incidental. I was looking for a short read, so I almost skipped this, but the story hooked me and I'm glad.

I was having a down day over relatively recent personal losses; this story exacerbated that, but, perhaps paradoxically, helped me get through it. Thank you.

Don't pay attention to the critics. This was a great read. Uplifting and fun.

Burning Man is on my bucket list!

What an excellent story - had me hooked from the start. So well written - I almost skipped over the sex parts (but didn't!) it was so well written. Kudos to you!

This was a really great story. Well done. Loved the characters.

Superb story & research. Alright, it is sometimes important to get details right but of course that has to be balanced by flow and not bogging readers down with into, and I think you felt that very well...really masterful in many ways, your characters just took over and I think you just had to follow them with your pen.

Forget people saying no politics. That is simply idiotic. Is another layer to character, and indeed story. Superb research, and realistic flashbacks adding much...

WOW ! Just WOW! 10 Stars !

Wow, what a great story..10 stars indeed

I'm deeply disappointed that i finished it, because i was Kooning forward everyday to read and enjoy it

Perfect all the way through

This is a fantastic story.

Honestly, you should change the relationship between the main characters to "best friends" or "dead buddy's widow" and take this mainstream. I'd watch this movie, it's that good.

Great story. I loved the build up of relationships between the characters.

you lost me at page 10. like crime and punishment…… i’m not sure what the crime was but the punishment is definitely trying to plow through this to find something erotic to read. This is litterotica it’s not I want to be like Tolstoy. I’m sure this is a very good story, but it sure does not belong on this website in this category..

Amazing story, sexy and life affirming. I'm a bit prudish about the incest but I've found that the most tender sexual interludes in this forum are between brothers and sisters. This was no exception. At the ripe old age of 65, I'm suddenly interested in attending Burning Man.

Absolutely perfect. I enjoyed it all the way through. If you have not considered publication, you should. Just don't let any damned publisher/editor talk you into changes other than spelling.

One of the best-written stories it has been my pleasure to read. Truly excellent work!

... Fan-damned-tastic!!!

One of THE best stories I have ever had the pleasure to read here on Literotica.

I'd give it 50 Stars if I could.

Very well written. Such depth to it, and a mix of friendship, love and naughtiness all rolled together.

Thank you so much.

Marshalla

@OldUncleAl This site is not just for sex scene after sex scene, it has a variety of stories, some longer and some shorter, some more sex filled than others. It may not be your cup of tea, but the story itself was great, and I’d say it most definitely belongs on this site. If you want quick sex scenes, there are plenty of one page stories for that, but there are a lot of us who love longer stories like this, one might call them “slow burners” — ha, that was a stupid joke. Spread love not hate, mon ami. Carpe fucking diem.

Brilliant character development. Beautifully written. A real masterpiece. You should be proud.

As others have said, PERFECT!!!

I have to say I was torn with this story, me being a U.S. ARMY vet that was severely wounded in Iraq but had also been to Afghanistan a lot of what was described during "as we call them " his time traveling episodes to the dimension of hell is very accurate and I had to walk away, but was drawn back so many times. I loved this story so did my wife, we both wished we had attended burning man at least once.

Excellent story. I am glad it was as long as it was because it meant there was more of it to love.

Great, and moving story. Thanks!