All Comments on 'Playing Seriously'

Nice story, very emotional. And some of the sensory descriptions were brilliant.

Some of the sentences were a little ambiguous, but that is a small oversight, easy to read through.

For your first posted story (Maybe your first story ever?) it was quite good. I hope you continue writing, breath play is fantastic and you captured it quite well. Intriguing throughout, and not even a bit of intercourse till the last paragraph. Way to hold my attention!

Zeep Zorp, I give it a 9/10. But you can't give 4.5 stars so... I dunno You get a 5.