by notabutch
i totally agree. some girls should stay straight.
good story, nonetheless. i apologize that the scenario didn't work out so well in your favor.
As a writer, I am deeply disappointed in this "story." Why would you interrupt your own story to reference other stories or Microsoft Word? I don't understand. The connection that a writer has with his/her reader is so important. That connection was broken over and over again! Very very frustrating. Please don't write any more stories like this!
As a writer I found the story rather bland. Referring to other stories and the Microsoft Word Dictionary? I use real dictionaries and thesauruses not the rather biased and quite often incorrect Microsoft version. This destroyed the continuity of your story. The eroticism in the story was almost non existent and rather poorly written. You should try to build the scene, build the pressure of the sex and what she is feeling. This is supposed to be a straight girls first experience of Sapphic love.
P.S. In reference to the word Sapphic the Microsoft Word Dictionary does not recognise it and yet it appears in all the Oxford Dictionaries and Websters. Hence, here is an example of the rather limited range of the Microsoft Dictionary.
And this happens to guys too, btw, when a girl gets 'happy' and then rolls over to take a nap.