Poly at the Poly Pt. 06

To be honest, I couldn't imagine it. Maybe I was naive, thinking that nothing was going to happen. Even Cassie commented on it as we speed-walked across the road.

"I'm surprised you didn't argue," she said, "About the whole split."

"I'm learning from the expert," I said, giving her a nod.

I expected Cassie to bring out her sunny smile, but instead her lips twisted. Like I'd said something that troubled her. I went to my reliable response.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I meant no offense."

"None taken," Cassie said. Her grin returned, but it didn't reach her eyes.

Tomorrowland was a large transition from where we'd been, with a sort of retro-future vibe and energetic electronica music. A spinning, 50s-style rocket ship reached upwards from the center of the area. I assumed that was Space Mountain, but it turned out that our ride was all the way in the back of the land in a large building that looked like a giant, vanilla-frosted cupcake.

The wait said 40 minutes, which seemed OK in the grand scheme of things. With eight hours at the park that evening, it felt like we had all the time in the world. Also, air conditioning would make everything way easier. So, we queued up.

Inside, it was surprisingly dark with tight hallways that almost felt claustrophobic. There were screens on either side of us with fake announcements about our 'flight.' We leaned against the carpeted walls and waited, patiently.

Cassie was very chatty, of course, carrying the conversation. She told me how she met Jack (at a PR event for his company), used her phone to show me pictures of their wedding (tasteful and classic, on the side of the East River; Cassie looked gorgeous in her dress), and talked about how they spent their time together (mostly trying fancy restaurants and going on adventures like this one).

It was all very surface. For my part, I nodded along, adding the appropriate 'hms' and 'ahs' as Cassie flowed along. It didn't feel like much time had passed at all before we were climbing into our tiny spaceship.

The cars were surprisingly small. Cassie sat in front and I went behind her, spreading my legs around her seat to fit. We were so close, the vehicle so tiny, it felt more like were going to race down a hill in a box, Calvin and Hobbes style.

Apparently, Space Mountain usually had you going through a starfield, but their solution for how to make it more "Halloween-y" was to turn out the lights completely and play loud, scary music. I'd never been on the ride before to compare, but complete blackness -- never knowing which way we were going to turn or drop -- made it plenty thrilling (if not a little painful).

When we got out of our rocket, it felt like I'd been in a fight. My head and neck were sore, and my legs were so stiff it felt like they were made of balsa wood. Fortunately, it was a long walk to get out of the building. By the time we were in the gift shop, I felt better.

"Where next?" Cassie asked, "I got first choice so now it's your turn."

I'd never been to the park before, so I didn't have a sense of it. Honestly, I'd wasn't a 'Disney' person -- I didn't have a bucket list or a catalogue of must-dos. We were on this trip mostly because Emily had wanted to go with her friend to Florida and it was free so why the fuck not?

I was happy to have Cassie lead, and I told her so. I expected the beautiful blonde to get upset with me, the way Emily would when I didn't make a decision. Instead, though, Cassie clapped her hands excitedly, then raced off, dragging me behind her.

We walked past a car ride that stank of gasoline fumes and went up a hill past the iconic Teacups ride. Cassie wanted to get on Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, but the wait was two hours long, so instead we kept walking into Fantasyland. I assumed that we'd bump into Mike and Emily there, but we didn't see them.

Instead, Cassie led us right past Peter Pan and It's a Small World, then down another small hill to a dark, foreboding mansion. Out on the front lawn were a couple of cast members dressed as old women and heckling the audience. A small crowd had gathered to be insulted.

We walked around that and got on line for the ride. I'd have thought the Haunted Mansion would be popular on Halloween, but we were able to walk right in. After that, we hurried past the giant steamship sitting at its dock and into Frontierland. Looking to the horizon, I could see a flume ride with a massive drop, and I assumed that's where Cassie was taking us.

Instead, though, she veered left through an opening in a shop, past some bathrooms, bringing us into Adventureland. I knew this was where Allison and Jack had headed earlier, but again, we didn't bump into them.

We went straight to Pirates of the Caribbean. This ride, too, had added some live cast members who sat in the ride and playfully harassed us as we passed them. The smell of bromide and chemical smoke filled my nose as animatronic Johnny Depp popped up in random places around us.

We'd only done three rides, and already I felt like I needed a break. But Cassie was now powering through the park like it was going to close forever in a few hours. I didn't know you could binge rides like watching episodes on Netflix, but the beautiful blonde made it happen.

We raced onto the Jungle Cruise, Big Thunder Mountain, and finally that big flume ride I'd seen in the distance (Splash Mountain), all in quick succession. At one point, we realized we were both hungry and so we stopped and shared nachos at a nearby restaurant. Then we went back to jumping on rides.

Because we were going so quickly, and the lines were nonexistent, we didn't have time for things like conversation, let alone the sorts of flirty behavior I was used to engaging in on this trip. Even when we were eating, we were so busy stuffing our faces that we didn't say anything. I let Cassie drag me along, like chasing after a waistcoat-wearing rabbit, bounding from place to place..

I realized that the woman I was spending the evening with was subtly different than the one I thought I knew. This Cassie didn't worry about whether everyone else was enjoying themselves. She didn't work to keep things light and happy. She just threw herself into her own gratification, loving every minute, and letting me find my own fun. It was lovely, actually.

Like I said, I liked to be left to my own devices and I enjoyed silence. It didn't feel like Cassie was ignoring me. Instead, it was almost like the comfortable trust of a long-term relationship. The two of us happily fit together in a way that was lovely for how unexpected it was.

After Splash, however, Cassie slowed down. She took my hand and we slowly strolled along the wooden boardwalk on the riverside, heading back the way we came. The sun had finally slipped below the horizon, and the park was now surprisingly dark.

"That was awesome," Cassie said. She couldn't keep the girlish grin off her face. She was practically skipping as she walked, swinging my arm with hers.

"It was fun," I agreed, "Though a bit like being with Allison."

Cassie gave me a wounded look. "I wasn't that bad," she said, "I didn't try to beat you at everything. But if you want to be competitive..."

Her grin went from innocently happy to scheming and wicked. It reminded me of the aggressive looks that my tall, athletic companion would give me. It was different though, with Cassie's bright blue eyes and her heart-shaped face -- she couldn't pull it off, even when she wanted to.

The beautiful blonde stopped sauntering and started marching us through the park. This time, we turned right before the Haunted Mansion and crossed back towards the castle. There was a stage show going on now, with iconic Disney villains parading in bright, glowing costumes. A crowd had formed there, though not so bad that we couldn't skirt our way around and over to the other side.

I realized that Cassie had taken us all the way back to Tomorrowland. We'd crisscrossed the park entirely. Despite all that walking, my legs weren't hurting, and I wondered if it was the adrenaline or hardcore denial.

This time, instead of leading me to the back towards Space Mountain, Cassie turned into a green and purple building with Buzz Lightyear on the front. This turned out to be another video game style ride, like the one we'd gone on that first day in Hollywood Studios. The one where Allison had lost and forced us to play again until she won

Competing with Cassie was different, though. She was playful about it. She didn't need to win like Allison, but she didn't opt out of the competition the way that Emily would have. Instead, Cassie made it fun as we fired our space lasers at two-dimensional aliens. Playfully teasing when I did well, yet also pumping me up when things went poorly.

After the ride, the machine tallied up our points and I saw that she'd beaten me pretty soundly, but she didn't make me feel badly for it.

"You owe me," Cassie said, "I won so now you have to give me my prize."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"You have to do something for me," she said, "Just once. Whatever I want."

I nodded my agreement. I hadn't agreed to such terms, but I doubted that Cassie would be too mean about it. At least, I hoped not.

Since we were back in Tomorrowland, Cassie insisted that we get on the Peoplemover across from Buzz. We rode the flat escalator up and climbed into one of the blue, open cars. The benches were tight, so we sat facing each other. Our vehicle moved off at a comfortable clip.

I looked down at the land beneath us. The view was lovely in the electric light. Small crowds of people wandered around the park. The light breeze caused by the movement of our car tempered the heat of the evening. I sat back and sighed. Sometimes, a ride doesn't need speed or drops to be thrilling.

Then I saw them. I noticed Mike first, of course, because of his height. I saw Emily was with him. Neither of them noticed us above them on the ride, of course. As I watched, the tall blonde man turned to my wife, tipped her face to his, and kissed her on the lips.

It hit me in the chest, hard. Like the percussive thump of a cannonball.

I don't know why it bothered me. That afternoon, I'd overheard Emily in the shower getting epically fucked by Jack. I'd kissed Allison, Emily's best friend, loads of times. And in places far more inappropriate and intimate. Why did a quick smooch on the lips from Allison's husband seem so wrong to me?

Some of it, I think, was my lack of anticipation. Unlike most of these Disney days, I hadn't been thinking about Emily this whole time. Having her shoved back into my focus like that made everything feel sharper. I thought about all the things my wife might have been doing that evening. Were she and Mike spending the whole time engaging with each other?

There was some jealousy mixed in, too. The stupid kind that thought about how I'd spent my evening with Cassie and how little we'd done. I hadn't kissed the blonde woman at all; we'd barely even held hands. Meanwhile my wife was apparently making out with another man all over the Magic Kingdom.

Cassie caught my eye, then noticed what I'd seen. Her near-permanent smile shifted to a tight frown. She reached across the little car and grabbed my hands. It was strange with the Beast gloves on, almost silly, but the gesture was meaningful, nonetheless.

"It's fine," I said, more to myself than to my companion. "Nothing we haven't been doing all along."

I expected Cassie to agree. To lecture me on letting go, or trusting my wife, or all the other stuff she'd said that week. But the beautiful blonde didn't say a word. She just squeezed my furry hands and let my eyes rest on hers.

We sped around a corner, leaving Mike and Emily to whatever they were up to. It was a blessing not to see, a curse to have to imagine. Why did this get to me so much? Again, I couldn't rationalize it.

The Peoplemover whisked us into the surrounding blackness of the Space Mountain building. We heard the echoing screams of people on the ride, loud metallic clanks as their cars raced around the tracks. Our car rumbled along, then slowed. And stopped.

It was so dark, we couldn't see anything. I could feel Cassie's hands on mine, but I couldn't make out much more than that. A voice came on and told us to stay in the car, that we'd be moving shortly. We stayed stuck in place.

Cassie dropped my hands. She let out a sigh, so long and loud I could hear it over the cacophony of the ride around us. I had the sense that she was leaning back in her seat.

"I wish," she said, wistful. "I wish that I could find someone who'd stare at me the way you look at Emily."

"Jack?" I asked.

Cassie made a dismissive noise. Almost like a raspberry. "My mom always told me that I was beautiful, and that meant I deserved more."

I thought that sounded like a nice thing. The only thing my parents ever told me was that I needed to work hard because the world was horrible and unfair.

"In high school, I dated the captain of the football team," Cassie continued, "My first real boyfriend. And I suffered through because I thought I was supposed to."

"Not a great relationship?" I asked into the darkness. A slight breeze of A/C wafted over us, prickling at my sweaty back.

"He was gay," Cassie said, "I was just a distraction so he could hook up with the starting tight end."

I don't know why, but her disdainful tone made me chuckle.

"So, in college, I made sure to find the best man on campus. He was devastatingly handsome, his family was fucking rich, the whole package. The problem was, he knew it."

I frowned in sympathy, though I knew Cassie couldn't see it.

"My mom loved him, of course." She made her voice an octave higher. "Oh, when are you bringing Pierce around, he's so dreamy. You're so lucky."

I laughed at her imitation.

"It took me almost two years to figure out that it was abuse," Cassie said, "And it took another three to escape."

"That was the nude video," I said, remembering Cassie's confession from our first night in the hot tub.

"Please don't Google it," Cassie said, her voice cracking.

"Of course not," I said.

Cassie continued on like she hadn't heard me.

"After that disaster, I knew I wanted someone that I could trust. An older man who'd act like a grown up and wouldn't play games. Jack made sense for me. He was an adult, finally. It didn't hurt that he had money. He takes good care of me. In that way, anyway."

The car still wasn't moving. My eyes kept searching the dark, but there was nothing to see. I reached for Cassie's leg and found it, giving her knee a squeeze.

"So, you're happy?" I asked, "Finally?"

"What you said before," Cassie said, "About sharing. You want to know something stupid and sad? I actually don't like it all that much. I mean, it was fun when Jack and I started doing it. But now? I feel like I'm just another object. A plaything that can be tossed to the side whenever he's bored of me."

Cassie let out another deep sigh. She continued.

"Emily doesn't want a family? I'd love a family. A home, not a house. Surrounded by people who love me. But Jack's over all that. He wants to have fun, so we have fun."

The car lurched, then started to roll forward. It was only a crawl. The world around us stayed dark.

"When I saw Michael at the pool four days ago, that memory of high school came back," Cassie said, "He was cute and funny. Kind of geeky but in a fun way, you know? Michael was the kind of guy I would totally fall for, except my mom would never let me. Not 'special' enough for her precious girl. So, when I saw him again, I thought it would be fun to pretend for a little bit. Be with someone who'd treat me right, for once."

The Peoplemover finally picked up speed. We came around a corner and back out into the park. The lights of Tomorrowland suddenly seemed so bright. I saw Cassie's face was wet with tears.

"Mike's a good guy," I said. It was hard to concede it, honestly. Especially after I'd seen him kissing my wife. But I had to admit he'd grown on me, somehow.

"Michael's like everyone else," Cassie said, "I'm just a trophy to him. Something to brag about. He'd mount my head on his wall if he could."

"It was the facial," I said, thinking back to what might have changed Cassie's mind. "Wasn't it?"

Cassie's pursed her lips, wryly

"I want to be loved," she said. A little sob slipped out. "Not wanted or desired or... I see how you look at Emily. Like your whole world revolves around her. Even when she's fucking Jack, when you're with Allison, you still stare after her like she's the brightest thing in the whole universe."

I grabbed Cassie's hands, tight. The tears spilled down her face, anew. Even miserable, she looked so beautiful. But that was the problem, right? That's all anyone ever saw: a gorgeous woman. And never the actual human being inside with the same imperfections and doubts that everyone else carries. I realized that I found that person, the actual Cassie, so much more beautiful than the character she played to protect herself.

Carefully, because the car was very much in motion, I moved across the bench and sat next to Cassie. Wrapped my arm around her shoulder and gently stroked her hair. She sobbed into my chest, then sniffled.

"You're a good listener, you know that?" Cassie said.

"It's easy when you don't talk," I said.

Cassie laughed at that. She sat up. "Sorry," she said, "I must look a mess." She did of course. Her makeup was running, and her face was red.

But I shook my head. "You just look like you," I said.

"I didn't mean to lay that on you," Cassie said. I saw the mask slowly slip back over her face. "I'm a big girl. I'll be fine."

The ride made a huge deal about how it would continue on forever, then it dropped us off back at the station where we'd started. As we rode the escalator down, my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was Emily, texting me that the group was going to meet up and watch the fireworks back on Main Street.

I showed the text stream to Cassie, who nodded dutifully. She grabbed my hand, took a deep breath, and started walking us out of Tomorrowland.

The woman I'd been with a moment before disappeared into the evening air.

*

The six of us regrouped on the grass in front of the castle area.

I saw Mike first, standing about half a head above everyone else, waving us over. Emily was pressed next to his side. My petite wife gave me a shy little grin as I came over. She couldn't have known that I'd caught her kissing Mike earlier, but she looked oddly guilty all the same.

Allison and Jack were already there, bickering playfully with each other. The athletic woman rolled her eyes my way, like she couldn't believe he was still bothering her, but she was smiling.

"Hope your evening was better than mine," Allison said, "The treats were good, and the parade was awesome but my company? Blech!" She stuck her tongue out at Jack and he responded by trying to bite it. Both of them cackled.

"Well, we had a ton of fun!" Cassie started into it immediately, running through the list of rides we'd done with an enthusiasm even a Disney-sponsored streamer couldn't match. "...we went on all three mountains, then did Buzz -- I kicked Paul's ass -- and got on the Peoplemover and now we're here!"

The whole thing sounded so forced to me, so obviously fake-happy. But no one else noticed.

"What about you guys?" Cassie asked. I noticed she was staring right at Emily.

"Oh, we just hung around," Emily said, evasive. "Saw some characters."

"Winnie the Pooh. All seven of the dwarfs. Jafar," Mike ticked them off his fingers.

"We tried for Jack Skellington but the line was too long," Emily said.

"All of you were so well behaved," Cassie said with a knowing smirk, "I'm disappointed in you."