All Comments on 'Prison School'

Looking to read more about it

Please get these two together -- they can make great music together! Anxious to see some hairy large-cock loving between them!

Chapters 2 and 3 have been uploaded, and I'm working on C4. I'm losing control of the story! These characters have come alive and I'm just trying to keep track of their actions to get it written down. The characters are leading me!

There are a couple of emotional situations in 2 and 4. I don't know if other writers have experienced this, but when my characters cry, I have to get the tissues!

Following are few suggestions you may want to work upon if you want to enhance your story writing skills:

1. Get an editor, for there are may spelling mistakes and grammatical errors in your writing. If you don't wanna hire one, there are many who volunteer here, like me. It will leave your readers satisfied with what they are reading.

2. Your story is narrated from the point of view of a first person, which is very ambiguous as it sounds like you're there witnessing this and it switches back and forth in first and third person. You either have to write from one of the guys' perspective for the first person to work out or just write the narrative in third person.

3. Even though this is fiction, it should sound original and not fake, like licking the cum off as a chore and stuff like two black guys will have sex and their beds are conveniently next to one another and very conveniently one of them is already thinking about making the other his bitch. I mean come on, this plot is so predictable and too convenient... Make it original and don't just make way for the guys to have sex, let the story carve itself out and the characters have an original journey of their own.. Let them flow.. Don't make things happen for them..

Please don't think that I did not like the story cz u actually did, kudos to your imagination, you just need to hone your talents.

Good luck

This looks as though It's going to be a great series.

The setting is ideal for some real good sex in the coming chapters.

So keep it coming.!!

I read your comments on how your characters get away from you. I have experienced that myself. Worst of it all, I don't know how it happens, and why I didn't see it coming till it's on the page.

Looking forward to the rest of the series.