All Comments on 'Promise Made, Vow Broken Alternate End'

You really made him appear to be a woosie. She was a total bitch and her disrepect was beyond belief. Why he didn't burn her at all (except for the emails) makes no sense and doesn't jive with the intense emotional situation.

Better than the original but the end was too soft. Should have dumped her and moved ahead. He was a proactive guy. The end is not in accordance with the MC's nature.

So for a new writer - not bad, technically. You wrote a story. It needed some editing for purposes of flow. It also needed a new ending. I say this to be kind - good story - horrible ending. Having won custody make the witch live somewhere else close by. I had one of the most convoluted divorce agreements know to man and the kids did just fine. They're both successful adults. My divorce was less than amicable but for the well-being of the kids, we made do. I hardly ever speak to or see her these days and that suits me just fine. You seemed to leave out whether or not Traci got another job and the fall out with their friends and family. Just something to think about next time around.

Well written. Though it might have been your first LW story, I dought it is your first story. My only suggestion is to be original from here on. We have all used the plot at one time or another, and even though we can bring a new twist to it now and then, it's better to write your own story.

Decent redux. Workplace sexual harassment and inappropriate behavior is never referred to as a "moral clause" any longer. Federal regulations, as well as corporate liability insurance providers, require that company rules and regulations meet both statutory and insurance carrier requirements. Federal, state and even local governments have passed laws concerning "threatening workplace" and "hostile working environments" and sexual conduct figures prominently in both, including consensual encounters. Especially at issue are supervisor-subordinate relationships, as well as behavior in the workplace and at company-sponsored functions. A "morals clause" is an archaic reference, but that concept has actually been codified, complicated and greatly expanded. The rule of thumb is, "Never at work". Anything to benefit the legal industry, right?

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5/5!!!

Still a cuck like the original story 1 star

She took something but it was not a pass.

So he becomes a cuck and doesn’t move on. You know it was the best sex of her life and he became was a live dildo.

I didn't make a real connection with anyone I dated, and Traci wasn't dating at all, as far as I could tell, and before long Traci and I agreed O was a cuck after all

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Fixed it for you

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Cuck story no cuck tag

also unusual ending tag, but you wrote a story where the cuck stays with the slut - not unusual at all

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one star for lying

Ok until the end.

The author's alternate sequel to the original did well.

The betrayed husband's actions were well thought out and executed.

The shit about the asshole and the bitch wife, just due part. The husband should have sued the Gallery and the others involved.

Divorce was the only accepted way. Glad there was no change in that aspect.

I found the motto of custody arrangements interesting, they would certainly have less impact on the children and would be more equitable with the parents. Even though it was like an award for the traitorous part.

I didn't like his fate taking the selfish, conniving bitch back. Even if it was to fuck.

And growing old together... that wouldn't be in my plans.

But the story is not of whoever writes it. Perhaps, there is a background of own experience out there as well. No offense or value judgment. Everyone knows where their callus presses.

But that's just my opinion.

Tracy didn't deserve to stay in the house, there was a judgement against her.

Tracy could stay with her parents. With his anger it is very unlikely he would want Tracy around for years to come. This pushed the RAAC too hard.

Much better than the original.

Adding to my last comment, Until the creating the false OK, for Tracy to stay it was a good story.

Just crap....too bad we can’t post negative scores...

The story is well told even with the story line being a well trodden path. The characters are consistent throughout, the dialogue helps the flow. and the conclusion is balanced.

LWlurker

You blew it.

The writer just told us he is a pussy, if your going to stay with the stupid slut why go to all that trouble worst story ever

Ludicrous custody and living arrangements as written. Option #3 was the only way to go. Both stories, as far as the husbands actions are concerned, are seriously flawed in their own way.

The plus in this one is Jackson, aka The Asshole, paid for his part in it.

This story is so badly written that the author should be in jail for mental cruelty. The 1st of many problems with this abortion of a storyis that The husband goes on and on about how he cannot ust the wife and about how he has lost all sexual compatibility with the wife because he knows that he can never compete Is with the wife's lover. The wife stated that at least 2 times in the story.

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So why then is he having sex with her again at the end of the story? What the fuck is the purpose of the divorce?

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In the beginning of the story the wife is convinced that this being only a one time thing.... that she's entitled to it and that everything is going to be OK after this 1 night with her boss.

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But the very next morning when the whole thing blows up suddenly .... The wife somehow realizes that she was completely fooled and brainwashed and she's full of regret?. This is utterly ridiculous. Is he featured or suffering from that sort of delusion to not suddenly wake up 12 hours later and realized they made a huge mistake.

The wife was correct, she was exactly the same person afterwards as she was before. She's always been a cheating slut, but had never encountered the temptation that resulted in her fall. If you choose to live with that kind of person, then don't whine when it happens again. All she needs is the correct situation to trigger that behavior.

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“When someone shows you who they are, believe them, the first time.” Maya Angelou.

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Not a great story, I gave it 3 stars. Pretty much everything was too over the top. I also find it difficult to believe a very rich man goes to prison on a first offense.

His immediate response was great, then you totally ruined the story when he reconciled with the whore. The husband in the original only stayed with her for the kids, then divorced her treacherous ass the instant the kids went off to college.

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I don't know why you'd write a cuckold version. Were you trying to see how much lower a score you could get?

Started off great . Having reread the original fairly recently , a very good read by the way , I was reminded how aspects of that version were however disappointing . You began by correcting some of them ...... the gathering of video evidence which would be key to getting some revenge on Jackson for one .

Then you went and ruined it ? You have the husband pegged as being OK with being cuckolded , and he wasn't .

She full out humiliated her husband , further threatening to destroy him and his relationship with his children if he chose not to go along with her decision . . . . So why let her off the repercussions of her actions ?

Sure , he could have helped her out with a smallish apartment . Somewhere big enough for her to have the kids over .

But moving her back into his life , never .

A good rewrite ruined .

I liked the story.

Equal income is bullshit. The guy almost always pays on dates. Limited cash means limited sex life. Wife can get laid anytime she wants.

A little more from the wife's perspective would have been nice. For instance, was it really a one and done after such good sex? What were her thoughts as she brought to mind the sex.

Rated 4*

Thanks

The generosity and willingness to inconvenience himself for her sake that the husband displayed toward the ex-wife at the conclusion of the story rang hollow. I understand the AUTHOR used his own experience as a template for the the custody arrangements but doubt he was subjected to the level of disrespect, humiliation and cruelty demonstrated by this vicious cunt.

Sorry the idea of co-habitation with that viper did not sit well with me, let alone a piecemeal RAAC. Because that’s what you wrote in a nutshell. They divorce she gets burnt, but they still live together and be a couple in every way but on paper. You should have used your real life experience of separate households, and or follow the guidance of the courts or child social services.

Desn't really add anything to the original except the common plot device of everyone piling on Traci, saying "You done goofed." The original story was an unsatisfactory outcome, but it felt like it was meant to be that way, an ugly situation for everyone involved. And when he gets out, he's out for good. This one feels like it's deliberately unsatisfactory for no reason.

Sorry, but how can you make an otherwise good story grotesque with your last paragraph? Too bad that deserves more but with your conversion to making up and having sex with each other it just makes it another cuckold story! 1*!

So the whore wins….another cuck story. No way. Zero stars.

Wow, you really managed to make that story infinitely worse.

Hooked1957 might want to be more careful next time with who he gives permission to write alternate takes on his stuff.

Here cucky, cucky cuck..........wrapping a bow on a pile of shit doesn't change the fact that it's a pile of shit. This was was a pile of shit.

Still a cuck for keeping her, sleeping with and "growing old" together. You ruined the story.

I'd love to read a version where an enraged husband retrieves his .357 revolver and just puts 158 grains through Jackson's head on Saturday night at his house...

The judge awarded Bobby full custody and Traci was only allowed supervised visits. The 3 options Bobby gives her is completely out of line with the court order. It does not make sense that he would win in court only to give Traci most of what she wanted with the first option.

This would have been if you had either played out the court order for custody and show Traci’s pain and remorse when living alone and only getting superior visits for 6 months or have the court rule for full joint custody and used your own life story for the conclusion.

I hope you keep submitting and write some stories that completely your own not just alternate endings.

To bad the husband was Testicularly Challenged the only real man in this story was the villain. 15 years reading this Section has hardened us to these week and tragic husband characters. It is very disappointing that we have another story in our section that is part of what we refer to as the WACC’s (Wimp Ass Castrated Cuckolds). Such a waste. Oh well onto some really good stories from our established writers. 1star Please

Publish in another section next time

If he always felt she was or would have sex with others why would he stop using a condom and why no std testing?

ohhh wow .... now i get it

her punishment is having sex with him instead of the heavenly sex with fairchild ....lol

we have all heard of the HULK gets mean turns green when angry

now we meet the CUCK goes from being angry to a wimp ... how sweet

i will rate it when i stop filling my buckets full of vomit

Good story and well written. I personally would have done some things differently, but it is your story to tell. Keep up the good work. I look forward to your next submission.

You started of well…but after the divorce u went off the track into cuck territory! Not a great way to start ur career in LW…

So as I found only half the story a worth read I give u a 2…

I generously gave this first effort a 3. That's because I really disliked the MMC's retreat after he'd deservedly been awarded full custody. I think what happened here is that the author's desire to tell his own story corrupted this one. It would appear from his postscript that his own marriage may have been shaky, then shakier, then ended, but apparently his ex-wife didn't pull anything like the stunt that Traci pulled. So their more amicable and equitable arrangement wouldn't make sense in the fictional world of Bobby and Traci. While I fully respect gopher25's personal story, I think that as an author he should have honored the particulars of the story he was drafting an alternative ending to. Had he done so, he might have added something to the original. Though, frankly, the original didn't really need anything additional.

this one was slightly better than original, but the thought of fucking and ex-wife would make me barf on the regular. I couldn't even shake my ex-wife's hand much less have sex with her.

The original story was very well written and quite powerful, but each time I read it, it left me feeling disturbed at the way Bobby failed to respond to everything that had been done to him by Jackson and Tracy. Living with Tracy for years, swallowing his pride for years and only divorcing her when the children were out of the house must have been a miserable life for him. Your story was the most satisfying of all the sequels. In the original story, Jackson got off scott free. In your story, the fact that Jackson was exposed as a predator, fired, disgraced, and finally jailed really met my desire to see him punished. Even the reconciliation that will have so many people up in arms and will drive down your score is something that was done on Bobby's terms in a situation where Bobby had the power rather than the original where Bobby lived with Tracy holding a deep resentment for many years. Anyhow... for me, highly satisfying. Good work. 5 stars!

Just another spin to justify being a cuck!

Trrrrrrash.

I find the timeline to be very disconnected, and the divorce settlements somewhat unrealistic. Started off okay 2 stars'

the ending ruined everything.

Pity about your story.

So, what is it that makes a first-time writer think they can make a pile of shit into a story? Worthless cuck stories are still worthless cuck stories regardless of who's writing them. Do yourself a favor and find a different genre. If junk like this is all you have to offer you'll be crucified, and rightfully so. 1*

I am surprised that author was a parent. No parent would publish to the world videos of the children's mother having sex unless the father was mentally unbalanced. I wonder if the writer ever had tried to set up video equipment, because the videotaping scenes could not happen in reality and certainly so quickly as written. Ultimately, there is nothing new and just the same old stuff that was basically copied from other stories with some of author's experience in post divorce world.

Decent up to the last few paragraphs. Too bad for that.

I know Writers always insist the children will suffer if a couple split up. But this husband got total revenge on the wife and so called friends and arsehole and still wimped out and staid with the woman who humiliated him. In real life most men would not stay with the ex wife and would move on with thier life.

The first part was a paint by numbers telling of what any real guy would like to see. Burning everyone involved in his humiliation. That was very good. Only smacking Jackson in the knee when assaulted was a bit much. Most guys would have knocked out all his teeth with the second swing. Move back in with this bitch? I don't think so. There's so many other women to occupy his time and dick. He knows she's a waste, move on. And why do these new authors get caught up in spouting the same , old drivel cliches? "It's just one night", "it's only sex", "you can reclaim me". None of this shit exists.

Liked it. Reminiscent of “The bridge”.

Congrats on a good first effort. Minor nit.......court cases for assault/attempted murder would take one to two years, so detailing his sentence as if it just happened the next week seemed really off. Better to detail the business losses first, leaving him with no resources to fight the charges, so he was deemed a flight risk and remanded to county lock-up pending trial. Or some such logical sequence and timing. For that matter, the rich brat seemed more a smooth operator than a junkyard dog type of tough guy, so him barging in all macho didn't fit well either. With all the women that were hoping for his availability, it seemed hard to believe no one worked out and he was stuck with the Martian Slut Ray victim.

"It's just sex" - Just how does that make things any better. I would wager that the vast majority of affairs aren't love affairs, but are "just sex."

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Again, the "I love you, but I'll ruin you," and of course the proposed lover is an expert on how cuckolded husbands will react. Has it ever happened to him? No. Even if it had, how does that necessarily apply to others?

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Traci wasn't an employee, she was a volunteer, which makes things even worse. She didn't need to worry about losing her job.

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He humiliated her with cause; she had no cause to humiliate him. And even without the witnesses spreading the story, how can he show his face around the gallery and/or gallery events.

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"I'm the same person today as I was yesterday," - Yes, the same person who went off to fuck another man.

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"don't you want to reassert your ownership of me?" - Since when do women want to be "owned?"

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Are you asking US to excuse the puns, or are the speakers asking their listeners?

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I would have stuck with the original custody arrangement, except I would have dropped limited and supervised. I definitely wouldn't have had the half-assed reconciliation. I would have been as cordial as possible for the sake of the kids, but once they were out of the house I would have cut all contact except for family events.

Not bad. The conversations seemed a little stilted or maybe just not as emotional as seemed warranted.

I definitely preferred this version to the original because he actually struck back.

I guess I can't see him ever living with her again, much less touching her. There were too many unanswered, open wounds the deranged bitch caused to really buy what you were selling here.

I do think this is a pretty good first attempt and you get 4* from the quiet man.

So he presents evidence she is unfit, is given custody and she with supervised visits. He immediately breaks court order by allowing her to live with them?

I gave you 4 stars for writing a decent story. You added more in places than was needed. Too many people telling the bitch what they thought. But at least you did not just let the bastard get away scot free.

That was one thing that bothered me with the original. Jackson suffered no repercussions. Looking forward to seeing more stories from you.

Started off in the right direction for me , then it really nose dived at the conclusion. There was too much of a hurry to get the "asshole" into jail, this was inserted before the hubby had a chance to chat to the wife on the day of the homecoming. It was this part that sent the story into a spiral in my view. Liked it up until that point.

I gave the story 3* because it was well-written and plausible until the unbelievable end. There is no need or logic after having a judgement in his favor, and knowing the in-laws were willing to welcome their daughter to live back with them, that he welcomed the traitorous cheater back in their home. No way Jose. Not after the way she publicly humiliated him. The only logical alternative was number 3 as the court decided. If he wouldn't have been so successful fighting the wife, she would have crucified him in the divorce as she promised. Besides, she never regretted having sex with God-like Jackson Aloysius Fairchild. She said, "Best sex she ever had!" Why would you want to go and have sex with her ever again when you know your best efforts for years are not even a close to a second place compared to JAF's performance. Your personal end in the P.S. section is a more palatable and realistic solution to their divorce. I wish you had imitated life, rather than embrace fiction? Thanks for the story and the effort.

At least in the original he got away from the delusional woman.

Somewhere between this and the original lies a good story. I liked the original except Jackson wasn't punished and probably went on to destroy many other marriages before some other tougher husband would have ended him. I liked that Jackson got punished severely in this version but them staying together after the kids left home didn't work.

cliche's abound but well written. The last 1/3 was garbage and your personal reference did not save the ending

BTW I agree with Carioca_Man

I was enjoying your story (better than the original) until the proposed custody changes. Then it went downhill. He had custody and she had supervised visitation, why change. And if he wanted to change for the children, Option 3 was the only real possibility. Never should have got back with her.

I like your ending on this disaster of a marriage. It would have fit my taste, if the husband would have done something short of murder that night.

Great story. I hope you write many more!

After choosing number 1, with the talk of mutual lingering feelings, I had a strong suspension that they will lead to some sort of reconciliation. I would have preferred that he moved out and find a new path for his life

WOW, that sure is some horseshit story. Just wasted 10 minutes that I'll never get back. Absolute trash. LW PLEASE allow a ZERO rating in your voting score. 1 is too high for shit like this.

Decent first effort. But very uneven prose.

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Really hated the reconciliation part…totally erased the “manning up” aspect of the initial reaction.

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At least Jackson got busted up.

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3***

Well you fucked up on that one. Damn near got it right. Hung there at the edge, and then you just went right over to paraphrase RW.

Usually a second version is LESS cuckified than the original. Go figure.

I should add, nothing wrong with the writing skills.

So Bobby was a cuckold after all. Traci got all she wanted and then some with little or no long-lasting ramifications. Beyond initial response, Bobby shows little backbone and no genuine character. Terrible!

Sucks

Ending doesn't line up with his earlier actions. He was all fire and take no prisoners informing everyone of her actions and he goes for a divorce. Then he gives her options. So in the end she wins, right? She has a place to live, her kids, her husband, and she had the best sex of her life and is free to do that anytime she wants. He gets a quickie with a divorced lady down the street, his cheating whore to share, and the kids and all the bills to pay 100% (she was fired so no job).

If you could not suppress the urge to write you could've written one without defecating over a well-written story. Frankly speaking this is THE WORST SEQUEL I've ever read on this site. It is the most preposterous story I've read on literotica in a long while. The wife decides to cheat on hubby, then threatens him with divorce, shows not an iota of remorse for cheating on the man, blames it all on the rich dude and the husband retaliates by not only forgiving her but also letting her stay with their children at their home? I don't want to sound personal but I'm not surprised your wife divorced you. It's difficult to stay married with someone who has no sense of masculinity and personality of his own. And it reflects in your writing. I hope this is your first and last story on literotica.

The first 2/3s was way OTT, but kinda ok, but the last third was ridiculous. First, CPS wouldn’t give a shit about her threat to ruin him and turn the kids against him - she committed no serious crimes, he has a penis, she wins! Second, why would he want her in his house? She completely disrespected and humiliated him. He would relive that every time he saw her selfish, cheating, scheming face. Put her in an apartment and, if he has no other offers, grudge fuck her when he needs to.

Do any of those who object that he didn't burn the bitch have children? Any divorce is devastating to the children, and any open hostility between the parents adds tremendously to the devastation. If you think she wasn't punished, read the messages to her from her relatives, friends and co-workers again. Think how you would feel if you got such messages. Also, if you are married, think how you would feel if sex with your once-loving spouse became just sex, and for over six years you would never wake up with them beside you.

Good first story but just no. There's no way I would ever have anything to do with Traci again. She made her bed and choice. As I've said before in this type story I would have never allowed my wife to go off with the man that night. I might get my ass beat but I'd put up one hell of a fight instead of tucking my tail and leaving. Hopefully you'll post some original stories.

Jackson Alooitcharse Fairchild saying how powerful he is in the town gets brought down quite easily , hoist by his own petard me thinks. We have one running the government who thinks just like this , anyone for a Party.

Was a 5 before the ending, which I ranked -3. So average score for two pages is 1. I hated it.

I get what he did was for the kids but the intimacy between them ruined the story for me. After his speech and how he reacted, he still went back. The divorce might as well never happened if that was the case. Not saying a BTB scenario, but def a divorce for the plain disrespect she showed him regardless if she showed remorse way after the fact.

I am enjoying these comments. There seem to be a lot of men out there who are insecure about their masculinity.

Congratulations on your first story here. As a first story its a solid attempt, sadly it is weak on the components that are bread and butter to the Loving wives category, namely those elements that dramatize the events.

Its not enough to have a valid story line clearly conveyed. Strong emotions and painful conversations elevate the drama of the story and carry the reader along.

Good first shot though !

Wimps, wimps, wimps

No woman I know could resist checking her phone as soon as she got up. She would have seen that her phone was blowing up after hubby's emails were sent. She would have read a lot of them on the drive back to the house. No possible way that any woman wanting to stay married (and who had told husband that the sex meant nothing) would have confessed that the sex was amazing. And certainly not after reading all the reactions on her phone.

Terrible! You want someone with the set of values she showed around your kids?!!

Deserve everything you get

Part 1 - Holy Cow!!!

Part 2 - What the hell?

Call this disjointed and the behavior of the characters (excluding Fairchild) really changed between beginning and end. This did not read like it was outlined well. Not bad for a first try! Gave you a three.

Try, Try again!

Thx!!

The author's mind is stuck in 1963: "I pay enough alimony to her to make our net incomes equal". There may be a jurisdiction or two that does old fashioned alimony (that continues till remarriage), but I doubt it. If a marriage has gone on long enough and a spouse hasn't been working, or only part-time, she gets maintenance for maybe 3 years so she can get some skills. After that, she on her own. The alimony angle, and the equalization of incomes, is legal bullshit. Moreover, even in a state like California that is full of girly-men and cunts, a video of someone breaking into your home is fully admissible. There is no need for the felon to consent or to be aware of it. Third, the MC is written like a Republican...if he wins a crushing victory, he gives it up because...well...because he's weak pussy of a man. IRL, the children don't need lots of influence in their lives from a cunt like the wife (hard to believe that the feminazis in CPS would do anything as rational and moral as giving the MC custody). The 3 choices bit is not credible, nor is the quasi-reconciliation. There are lots of hot, interesting, smart, decent women out there looking for a decent man...more than the author can imagine, evidently.

Finally, what man is going to let a fuck like Fairchild walk off with his wife without a fight? Listen old men, you don't need years of martial arts training. Even if someone is bigger, stronger, and faster, he still has numerous vulnerabilities that anyone willing to be truly violent can exploit. For example, anyone's windpipe/larynx can be crushed by 15 lbs of sudden force. It's not hard as long as you don't treat violence as a sporting event...you don't posture; you don't warn; you just go straight to it with the intent to disable/destroy/kill. Once you shock your opponent's nervous system, you follow up quickly with attacks to other vulnerable spots...eyes, ankles, knees, pelvic floor, neck (less than 60 lbs of torque snaps a neck/spine), kidneys, solar plexus. It's so easy even an LW cuck can do it.

You had a great story but completely fucked it up with that stupid ending! It's not worth even 1 star now. I would have given it 5 up til the living in the same house bullshit!

That was a good ending to the story. 5*, great effort for a first story.

I find it amusing that some readers rejected as implausible what you based on personal experiences. Oh, well!

Sbrooks,

Why do you think that every story should be up to whatever standard you have for that day and story or author?

Was going to give a 5, but as I kept reading and the ending I went with a 3. 4 felt to generous. Written well just for me personally seemed like a pathetic ending for the man.

Just no! After all she did? absolutely stupid he let her stick around. Just not likely at all. Too stupid. 2 *s

This is not unlike February Sucks. Had that slut done that to me, she'd be sorry and every time I could hurt her, she'd have it. Jackson would be a sorry guy, because he would eventually get his and would pay dearly. I would have divorced the slut ASAP... BUT, IT'S ONLY A STORY...

Decent writing even if I had trouble relating to the characters at times. 4*

cuck after all!

Thanks for contributing and I had high hopes for the story at the beginning, but it veered way off course eventually. I've always counted the original story as one of my personal favorites, but was still unsatisfied with a few aspects of it. I was encouraged when the author had the MC leave, as his staying in the original story always bothered me. The MC sticking around and living with her betrayal for the sake of the kids -- no, uh uh, can't see that happening. I always thought the Traci in the original story really escaped too lightly. Unfortunately, in this story, the Traci character was dumbed down and reduced to the caricatureized typical LW. The original Traci was much more nuanced and faceted. What put me off here was the ending, which went from a finally empowered MC to I'm not really sure what he ended up. Nevertheless, I did give this a 3*

I knew with a first story this was going to end in a very shitty, wimpy fucking worthless husband way and sure enough it did.

If you cant improve on a story dont add to it. Now go create another name and write a cuck story, oh wait you did exactly that, which seems to be what everyone does these days.

So retread, go the retread route again and try and pass off another cuck story as something other than the idiotic garbage this was.