Protecting Marcus

A really good Story!

Wish there was a part two!

Thank you

Only major issues is you said she was a social worker which would mean she is not the boss of a dr there 2 separate entity and 2 you said she was an officer of the court social workers is not an officer of the court again 2 separate things other than that not that bad of a story but those issues are major issues as it goes against 1 of the main things that makes a good story that is character establishment

I’ve just finished reading the story and loved it, I’ve also scanned the comments and found (as usual) conflicting views. Firstly it’s a good story, we empathise and are entertained by most of the characters and want them to be well and find happiness, but the natural flow of the stories has unnatural jolts with repetitive typos and mistakes. When some of us complain about typos etc that’s why, we’re deep in the world our Author has created in their own mind and put into words, when suddenly that seamless flow of perfect words jolts or stops momentarily, occasionally we have to try and figure out what the author meant, but we then have to regain that flow, only to have it frustratingly stop again. Typos, grammar issues, incorrect words (MS Spellcheck I’m looking at you!) and even bad punctuation interrupt our reading, ruining it sometimes, every now and then we give up on the story or vent our frustration by marking it down, Authors - please use use good Beta readers and fix the errors, some of us will love and reward you for it.

Regards and 5⭐️ Ppfzz.

Key word erotica.

Characters that need therapy belong in another section.

Writers have, by my account, the hardest job in the world. They spend untold hours just thinking. Not that thinking is hard; for a writer, the thinking is half the fun. But then comes the tedious part: getting in down in print. I started as a non-fiction technical writer and, in almost every case, I was already a expert on my given or chosen topic, so the thinking phase didn't even apply. I could just plough right into the actual writing. But, being an expert in the topic, the material was not greatly challenging, so I put my efforts into grammar and style, making them my challenge. And, to be honest, it turned me into a pedant, frequently choosing to critique the words and style of a piece instead of actually reading it. I hurt myself quite a bit by choosing that path; it kept me from seeing the real content.

Then I started writing fiction, and speculative fiction at that (sci-fi and fantasy). I had NO IDEA how hard that was going to be. But after twenty-three years it has taught me a great lesson: grammar and style are shit. They mean nothing. And in the hands of a GREAT writer, the misuse of words, grammar, and even style can produce some truly great pieces of art.

So, now? I don't see "mistakes" as mistakes. Frankly, I see them as a different kind of window into the writer. You can learn a lot from the mistakes people make. But more than anything else, it has given me access (here, on other sites, and even some books) to some truly great stories that I'd have been sad to miss out on over something so trivial.

And you know, at this point in time, having finished reading this story 2 minutes ago, I can't even remember any mistakes. What I do remember are great characters, events, relationships, emotions, and everything else that makes a "story" a story.

Be kind to your neighborhood writers. But more importantly, read hoping for a great story, you jut might find it.

Great style does not belong in fiction; it belongs in encyclopedias.

I do agree with the comment about Trish’s internalized racism and classicism in the opening paragraph. However, once you get past it, you realize this is a great story. It was a good to see Beth heal and find love. And nice to see a strong, capable woman in Trish. I would recommend.

One of the worst I've seen on LE. Typos and grammar errors too plentiful for my liking.

I can't believe you had editors help you with this garbage, when you have submitted this kind of thing: 'Without waiting, I started striping Beth'.

Did you paint her with stripes?

FFS.

Crap.

Right out the gate with the internalized anti blackness and classism! Didn't even wait til half way through the first page to get that off your chest lol. I guess I should thank you for beginning with that so I wouldn't waste my time.

Given the number of people that have had their stories taken from and sold by random cunts on Amazon, the typos are fine and an understandable theft deterrent.