All Comments on 'Random Fun Ch. 01'

Real compelling writing. You really shouldn't be wasting such talent.

Like reading a grocery list. Get this and this and this. Go home. Done. Neither erotic nor interesting.

makes the whole premise not ring true. So Ok, maybe fiction, but the husband and wife would at least discuss the fact of whether or not to let another man seed her womb, and the ramifications of that. Or in an uncontrolled moment of passion it happens, and the feelings and emotions of the participants is shared.

How does Hubby feel, what did he do after this, did he reclaim, was she on birth control. These are some areas to explore to make the story more interesting.

You will find as a writer that to connect to your audience in a powerful way, you need to be both believable and capture innate truths of the human condition and behavior. It is not enough to describe what happened, but why, and what the after effects are.

For a couple that had never done it they seemed professionals swingers...1*

Very sexy. It would have been a dream come true to be that young guy

Despite Hubby being with Sweetie throughout this story, including in the bedroom while Sweetie gets her first 'marital strange,' Hubby might as well not even exist! Outside of being charitable to a geek, there is precious little to Sweetie's character ... and LESS to the Sophomore Strange character. Three blocks of wood?

3*

Love your first submission and look forward for the next chapter.

Thanks for a good read

What could.be trashier than letting your whore wife pick up a random guy at an adult bookstore?