All Comments on 'Real Love Ch. 21'

Really like this... however, enough with the hugs.

This is a big story. A lot of work, and it is interesting. Maybe look at tightening the editing a little.

You keep using moral when you mean morale (number of times in previous chapters).

In this chapter you used shutter when you meant shudder several times. And on page 2 one of the instances of their was actually a there...

There were a number of sentences where entire words were dropped out, makes reading more difficult. Sometimes there are some weird plot threads that sorta kinda are hard to follow, and a little redundancy (in this chapter) of the feelings exposition that could be tightened up - not hugely significant, but a better edit would catch them and not klll the momentum.

At least you haven't done the classic Literotica prostrate when you meant prostate.

Keep going...

Dear Anon - Thanks for pointing out some of my errors. I have corrected some of them, but need to read the chapter again to find the weird plot threads that sorta kinda are hard to follow, and a little redundancy (in this chapter) of the feelings exposition that could be tightened up. I will fix those as I find them. MDSW

I have loved this novel. I do love to give and receive hugs. However, I think you have added that to excess !! It is becoming quite a bit distracting seeing the plethora of hugs !! Unless this is a plot point for later reasons, it seems to me to be WAY TO MUCH !!! However, over all the story is great.

Good but who is Katie