Real Talk: Addict

TRIGGER WARNING: discussions of addiction, abuse, trauma, depression, emotional pain

A deep, real look at all sorts of being addicted — chemically, mentally/emotionally, and sexually. T. speaks bluntly about her own family history with addiction, the existence of the "addiction gene" on one side if her family and how growing up with the awareness this disease existed in her family caused extreme caution with all chemicals as a young person. Later, it was doctors pushing pain killers in the mid 2000s that really put whether or not that gene was present in Tempest herself into clear focus.

Other sorts of addiction and substituting one sort of addiction for another discussed, including whether weed or sex is the "lesser evil" in lieu of alcohol and opiods. What life was like growing up in 90's Los Angeles with two parents that smoked weed and the perceptions versus the reality of using marijuana as opposed to the hard opiods doctors kept pushing.

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Message from T:

Because its been months since my last real, in-depth discussion about much of anything, given how hard real life has seen since June (and doubly so since October, when I chose to go on hiatus), I had a LOT to say and there is more than a few tangents, which I could have edited out, and results in a total run time of 1 hour and 40 minutes, but I felt I needed to talk there feelings out. I do divilge a bit about my failing attempts to find a new playmate/Daddy Dom, the continuing feelings of utter inadiquecy and never feeling pretty because of my curves, of being too emotionally intense, and how being ghosted and rejected repeatedly since June has caused a sincere lack of faith in myself, a trend that begun with a man who also does audio erotica whom I never got over.

Lastly, I have shied away from discussing the "relationship" that I have elluded to with another well-known audio erotic performer, mostly because I don't harbor any desire for him to have anything negative happen for making me feel so poorly about myself — these are *my* feelings and therefore my responsibility to handle how I react to them. In this, do explain a little more in-depth about that man, and I actually had to stop play to reset when my brain fell into a negative space. Upside? It was a great chance to actually use and explain the safe word "yellow" and demonstrate it's use while recording. 🙂 I also get to talk more about the poly relationships in my life that DO and HAVE worked well for over 20 years. Because nothing makes you appreciate the people who love you more than someone who makes you question if you are worthy of love in the first place.

If you want to bypass all the talk and get directly to the sexy bits, I warn that it won't make much sense without the context... but I also know that not everyone cares about my TED Talks nearly as much as my whimpers and moans. 😉 For those, a good place to start is about an hour and 20 minutes in.