Reality TV Confidential

The night before filming began, the other executive producer, Hal, invited us to his house in Malibu. The key crew members were at the party, including the story editor, technical director, and production coordinators. We hung out on Hal's deck overlooking the ocean. Everyone was drinking beer and wine, and the atmosphere was extremely relaxed. Joe, a production coordinator, brought out some Cuban cigars that he had smuggled back from a trip to Canada.

As I sat there, I realized Denise and I were the only women in the group. And the five men, en masse, began lighting up the cigars without us. Joe offered me a cigar, but in a very teasing way, never expecting me to accept. They were surprised when I said, "Sure." But they loved the fact that I joined them, and they loved showing me the ropes. I have to say I didn't enjoy the taste right away, but I immediately understood the pleasure in the ritual -- cutting it, holding it, gesturing with it. Joe said to me affectionately, "Megan, I've been looking all my life for a woman who knows how to smoke a cigar like you do."

I was glad I'd stayed for this part of the evening. My conversation with all of the production managers was extremely eye-opening. Over the next hour, I learned why you'd have to be slightly nuts to apply for a spot on a reality TV show. Manipulation is rife on reality TV, with producers often lying to contestants, depriving them of sleep, and exploiting weaknesses in the name of manufacturing drama.

Denise said the most successful producers have to be "master manipulators," prepared to set aside any concern for the participants for the sake of the show. "Your commitment to the story has to be greater than your commitment to the characters."

"I worked three seasons of the Bachelor," Denise divulged, "And my job was basically to get the contestants to open up, give them terrible advice, and then to deprive them of sleep. So I lied to all the women, groomed them to fall in love with the bachelor, and carried jalapeños or lemons to make myself cry and hopefully start a chain reaction."

On the reality series Project Runway, Joe described how food and sleep were routinely withheld to ensure "interesting performances."

People sign away practically all their rights just to appear on television. That's as much a part of the production process in reality TV as "cameras, lights, and action" and ensures there will be compelling drama as contestants are thrown into sometimes dehumanizing situations.

In all sorts of shows, Joe explained, contestants must be kept from quitting as they realize they're in over their heads. As a result, he's become quite adept at hardball tactics and is used to repeatedly pushing back at participants who get cold feet and threaten to withdraw.

"Eric is a smart young man," Joe said patronizingly, "but he made a helluva mistake when he signed that contract."

Denise laughed, recognizing the story that Joe was about to tell.

"So Eric comes to me," Joe began to relate, "he doesn't know shit yet, but he's starting to get spooked by certain elements of the show."

"He wanted to back out?" I asked, quite worried.

Joe recounted, "Eric was pretty steamed that we'd asked all the wives to stop wearing their engagement and wedding rings a month before taping, you know, to avoid ring marks or tan lines. He's been working away from home and only found out after he got here."

Denise rolled her hazel eyes, "So, yeah, the little shit thinks he can back out! I pull him into my office. Then I start dialing our attorney, and while I'm waiting on hold, I mention to Eric that we'll be suing him personally for a million bucks in business interruption losses. It takes him a second to realize what is happening. You could see the fear in his face as it dawns on him what's he's on the hook for."

Joe cut in, "Before he has a chance to call his own lawyer, I play the 'good cop' and explain to Eric that his wife will be completely safe, we have 24/7 security on the set, and we've got people watching the cameras the whole time. I tell him that I was the guy responsible for arranging security in literally dozens of countries when I worked on The Amazing Race, and this little show is a piece of cake compared to that."

"I guarantee you this won't be the last time Eric tries to leave," Denise added, "as he finds out more about what's going to happen, he might try to leave the show again, at that point, we remind him of the family farm and force him to imagine what will happen to his father if they lose it."

"This is a matter of psychological warfare, and we're really good at it... you have to leave them thinking you're their friend and not even aware they're being steamrolled," Hal agreed.

Denise explained that people who appear on reality television do so for a reason; once it's clear what that reason is, it's easy to manipulate them. She said that other agendas included vanity, fame, competitiveness, a desire to overcome a challenge or a break from the monotony or mediocrity of life. "For a lot of people, being in a reality television show is the most interesting thing they will ever do, and they will cling to that for the rest of their lives."

"You don't agree to be half-naked on television and low-level humiliated without a level of desperation and audacity," Hal concluded.

Denise and Joe then spent a lot of time justifying their questionable methods. Mostly, they rationalized that no one could be completely themselves in front of a TV crew, and hours of footage can never be done justice to in 22- or 46-minute episodes. But another part is strategic: real life doesn't necessarily make for good TV without a little help.

Alcohol was the other big helper. Denise explained, "Have you noticed most 'meals' on unscripted shows are simply drinks? And mostly, it's the female characters in the show being served refreshments? We use alcohol on reality sets to evoke the sort of problematic behaviors you try to avoid in real life! It's fuel for the action! When you have such a short time to get really juicy footage, alcohol expedites that process!"

Suddenly, I realized why we'd spent so much of the production budget on booze, stocking a liquor cabinet in every room of the set. We'd also hired a full-time bartender to serve beer and cocktails in the party room starting at 10:00 in the morning.

"What about Naomi? I heard she doesn't drink," I asked out of curiosity.

Hal murmured that she might lose some of her inhibitions due to the "pace" of the production. In other words, she wouldn't be able to get much sleep. To maintain the party atmosphere, we'd play loud music until 1:00 a.m., and then the girls would be woken up at 4:00 a.m. for hair and makeup. Research shows that sleep deprivation makes people emotionally volatile and temperamental -- a fact that hasn't escaped the notice of some reality TV producers. Not surprisingly, our producers planned on depriving the contestants of sleep to heighten the drama. Sleep deprivation makes for good TV.

After finding out about all the dirty tricks, I wrestled with how I would hold it together over the next five days. A huge part of me wanted to scream out the truth about what was really going on behind the scenes.

The contestants arrive in L.A.

TV isn't always glamorous. You don't see the mundane everyday aspects. For example, I drove a boring old red Pontiac Montana to transport the four female contestants for the two-hour-long drive from the office to the set. There was an awkward silence for the whole journey in the minivan. We had confiscated their cell phones, and I think they were already having Facebook withdrawal symptoms. The ladies eyed each other with suspicion, trying to figure out who the single one was. None of the contestants except Julia knew the identity of the true single.

Before we departed, Joe interviewed each couple, asking how they met and what they liked about their spouse. He also asked each of the contestants if they had any boundaries for the show, their strategy for the game, why the other couples should fear them, and what they would do with the prize money. We then spliced the interviews to cut out Joe, and the viewer would only see the couples' answers to the questions.

Pre-show interview: Peyton & Andy.

Andy: I would describe Peyton as being a sexy, fun, confident person and, above all, a very loving wife.

Peyton: Andy is very generous and just a lot of fun to be around. We met at Washington State University; we're both basically big and loud on the outside, insecure little geeks on the inside, doing the pre-med program together.

Andy: Peyton made the first move, and that kind of bravery made her instantly more attractive to me.

Peyton: My game plan is to basically put myself in the shoes of a single person, and then I'm not defensive because I've got nothing to be defensive about. And, at the end of the day, someone will be attacking the other girls.

Andy: Peyton loves to play pranks, and she can pull them off because she's such a good actress.

Peyton: I could win an Academy Award for the act I put on in high school!

Andy: We haven't really discussed any boundaries or anything like that between the two of us.

Peyton: My boundaries are.... nothing too intense.

Andy: Sex.

Peyton: Agreed! My dad did tell me not to do anything on TV that would embarrass the family.

Andy: I'm pretty much okay with her doing anything except having sex. No oral either.

Peyton: There are other ways to play with his mind! Tease him until he begs for it!

Andy: Our message to the other couples is, you're in big trouble!

Peyton: Big trouble!

Pre-show interview: Naomi & Eric.

Eric: Naomi is beautiful inside and out, kind, smart, she's an angel. She is truly my companion and helper. I feel blessed to have her as my wife and best friend. Together we make a great team and share the same core values.

Naomi: My game plan is to play on the fact that I'm a daycare teacher from a small town, and it's hard to meet new people when you live in a rural community.

Eric: The other couples should be worried because just look at us; we're the best-looking couple on TV!

Naomi: He's joking! My worst nightmare would be to have married a guy who was really into himself, who had a big ego. Eric is the most hardworking, sweetest, caring guy in the world. We started dating the summer after high school, and it was love at first sight.

Eric: Boundaries? Naomi would never do anything that would compromise her morals.

Naomi: That's correct; my self-respect is more important than winning the show.

Eric: But we're going to win!

Naomi: Yeah, that's right, I don't need to do anything physical with him to win. It's all about getting in his head, not getting in his bed!

Eric: We'll be investing the prize money in my family's dairy farm so it can stay competitive given all the changes in the agriculture business. It would kill my dad if we ever lost the farm.

Pre-show interview: Alyssa & Jake.

Jake: Alyssa's very sexy, very funny, and always looks after me.

Alyssa: We met when I was on spring break in Cancun; I was in a wet T-shirt contest and fell off the stage, totally drunk. Jake caught me in his arms, so he became my hero.

Jake: We've been married for about 18 months and living in Cali since January. I decided to get a real job and stop being a ski bum.

Alyssa: He gave up his job as a snowboard instructor to be with me, and that meant a lot to me. We still go skiing at Mammoth Mountain all winter long. Actually, he boards, I ski.

Jake: I think this is the only place on earth you can ski and surf on the same day. The only drawback is that real estate is so ridiculously expensive here.

Alyssa: We'll use the money for a down payment on a house, settle down and take the next step in life... have lots of babies!

Jake: There are no boundaries, apart from one thing, and that is, no sex. Of course, sex is the ultimate boundary, but I think I'd be okay with anything up to that.

Alyssa: Wow. I am really surprised to hear you say that! Usually, it doesn't take too much to make him jealous, and he swiftly removes me from the situation.

Jake: I know it's only for fun, and at the end of the day, we'll be eighty thousand dollars richer.

Alyssa: My game plan is not to treat the other girls differently from another. So, like, treat them all really badly!

Pre-show interview: Julia.

Julia: I am passionate, loving, and a little bit crazy. I am single because I'm having far too much fun being single, and I haven't found the right person. I'm really choosy, and I haven't found a man who meets my high standards yet. My game plan is to be myself, be honest, and observe and play the game. I'm not going to give anything away.

In terms of my boundaries, let's just say I'm not going to do the obvious. I'm single, so I can do what I like. I will win because my strategy is a lot simpler than the couples, and I'm not going to lie. My message to the couples: the pressures on you! When I want something, I get it!

In the viewing room.

After we departed in the minivan, the husbands were ushered into the viewing room. This was at the production company's offices, almost a hundred miles away from the set. Each night, we would be shuttling the guys back and forth to a cheap airport hotel, keeping them relatively isolated and with no ability to contact their wives without our help.

The husbands greeted each other with handshakes and settled into their seating in the home theater. The first thing they would watch was a video introduction of Tyrone, who would be this week's picker.

Meet Tyrone.

Tyrone: Alright, hubbies, I'm Tyrone G.; I'm a former NFL player and currently an entrepreneur, an actor, and a rapper. See, Ima be a celebrity of the future.

Lemme ask you this. I can bench 350 lbs. Can you?

Boys, boys, boys... ya'll must be insane to let me fool around with your wives this week. I had a sneak peek, and these ladies are all tens. Each one got a real sweet face and a body that's bangin'. And I definitely don't mess around with unattractive females! Why would I? I'm single 'cause I like to play the field. Variety is the spice of life! As my man Ludacris say, I got ho's in different area codes. Is your relationship strong enough to handle this? Well.... is it?

I got a Jaguar XJL Supersport for when I'm chillin' with your shorty, and she wanna go for a ride. As you may already know, that's the extended-wheelbase version, so there be plenty of room for when your wifey wanna kick it in the backseat. Hubbies, ya play with fire, ya gonna get burned!

The husbands react to Tyrone's video.

[Husbands immediately burst into laughter.]

Andy: What a poser! What a fucking poser!

Jake: Oh my God, this dude's annoying! He's absolutely ridiculous! What a total douchebag!

Eric: Where'd they find this asshole?

Jake: He talks like he's from the 'hood, but I betcha he's never been to a project in his life!

Day 1 in show house.

Well, the husbands didn't seem too impressed with Tyrone, but what would Tyrone make of the girls? The countdown had begun to the moment the female contestants would meet their single male housemate.

I still remember the first day of the production vividly. Almost three months of hard work culminated into one day.

Day 1's are tough on any production, especially when working with a non-union crew and directors who are all new to the production company. Day 1's on reality shows are even more challenging because the shoot requires quick turnarounds, and there are very few opportunities for retakes. So, just I expected, we needed to hit the ground running.

We assembled in the main living area of the show "house" (actually a set built on an improvised soundstage). There was a buzz in the room as everyone was excited to be on television for the first time. They all shared a strong sense of anticipation as no one had any idea what would occur in the days ahead.

Meanwhile, the three husbands settled down in their comfy home theater seating to watch the video feed from the "house."

I stood in front of the five contestants in my stylish skirt suit and introduced the show. Speaking directly to the camera, I announced, "Meet Tyrone. He's single and spending five days with Alyssa, Peyton, Naomi, and Julia. They all say they're single, but they're not. Three of them have husbands! So all Tyrone has to do is work out which one is really single to win a huge cash prize.

"So, it's day one of the game, and here is how it works. Tyrone will spend all day and all night living with all four girls who say they're single, but three of them have husbands who are living nearby and are watching their every move!

"From what they see on the screen, the husbands must then coach their wives to convince Tyrone that they're single. Why? Because there are eighty thousand smackers up for grabs. If Tyrone chooses the true single at the end of the week, then the pair of them will split the eighty thousand dollars. But, if he picks a girl pretending to be single, the married couple walks away with the cash. So, how far will these couples push their relationships for eighty grand?

"Welcome to 'Wild or Domesticated?', the program where we find out if you've become overly domesticated in your relationship or if you've still got it!!"

The five contestants moved to sit around a large sectional sofa. In front of them were a couple bottles of champagne in an ice bucket on the low table. We had dressed Alyssa in dark blue skinny jeans and a black tube top, Naomi in a flirty summer dress, Julia in a short white sweater dress, and Peyton in over-the-knee boots, a tiny cargo khaki miniskirt, and a black halter top. Tyrone was decked out in a pair of baggy camo sweatpants and a white tank top.

And so the game began. Tyrone wasted no time grilling the girls on their relationship history. He popped open a bottle of champagne (As he did this, he exclaimed, "Oh yeah, that jus' like me with all you fine-lookin' ladies, ready to go off!") and poured each of the girls a glass. Raising his glass in the air, he proposed, "Let's raise a toast to me, basically, and all the cuddles we be sharing in the week ahead."

As he watched from the viewing room, Andy groaned, "I can't believe how big an ego this guy has!"

Tyrone quizzes each of the girls.

Tyrone: How long you been single for? Why you break up?

Peyton: I broke up with my boyfriend seven months ago. I ended it because I wasn't happy at all. It was a toxic relationship.

Tyrone: Alyssa, where you from?

Alyssa: Originally, I'm from Newark, New Jersey. I just returned from working overseas as a flight attendant for Virgin Atlantic--no boyfriend or plans to find one.

Tyrone: I love me a sexy stewardess! I once had this flight attendant givin' me brain up in first class. Crazy, I know, but that's just how it is when ya play in the NFL.