All Comments on 'Remember You Left'

Great story.

I am only on page 1... Good story so far but needs MASSIVE EDITING. Flow jumps from 1 thing to another with no intro, no valid punctuation in lots places.. It is just very, very hard to follow. PLEASE, PLEASE get an editor!!! Examples:

We love our Master he is a fair and a just Master.

"Riga Mortis".

"I found this exclusive -- I didn't know at the time it was exclusive -- I walked up to the door"... (exclusive what? is there supposed to be a noun there? or is "this" referring to something)?

"I needed the release she was available".

And on and on... I am not giving a star rating and want to read the story. I will try to get through it. But please edit. You should edit then repost if that is possible. You might have a good story here but it is one of the harder simpoly to read through. I am not trying to be a grammar puritan here. The story is hard to read as it stands. Good luck

Agree with Anonymous that it badly needs an edit. It is extreme beyond the remotest plausibility. I suppose some readers like that.

I will do just that - I had been working on this a long while. I will see If I can read edit to repost.

Thanks for your comments.

Anonymous- Thanks for the criticism- this had been sitting a long time. I will see if I can get the re-edited to be posted once I have had it proofed.

Barber o Savile

Will their be other parts I’m loving this story want to find out what happens

Don't understand why this wonderful & exciting story still hasn't been continued yet?

I hate to say this, but this story sound like it was written by a sex Starved, poor man that now resents women for them not wanting him. So he now only wants to Degrade and hurt them every way that he can..

To Anonymous critic - I am not sex starved no ram I poor man resentful of women. So you are entitled to your “Words” per the 1st A. I understand you have issues but they are not mind. It’s a story and I will do my best to provide better editing. It is WIP.

BarberOSaville

Interesting setup that lost me after a couple of pages. The idea of an ex wanting to get back with someone and submitting to them to prove it is a great idea for a story, but here the ex is too quick to submit and her actions don’t make a ton of sense. Why does she already have piercings? How does she know her ex is a Dominant but is surprised he has other subs. I think it would make more sense if she wanted to get back with her ex and then is brought into the lifestyle more slowly, bit by bit. Additionally the punishment / sex scenes are repetitive and I skimmed after the first page.

But, with a bit more plot development (and editing), I think this could be a very interesting story.

UTP - thanks - working on it - and work in a back story for her and him.