All Comments on 'Renaissance Faire Ch. 02'

One page chapters suck.

I was just getting into it and the chapter ended. You need to double or triple the chapter size to avoid it feeling so short.

A story I'm interested in but you are going to lose your audience if you persist in posting individual chapters of this length.

I'll probably wait now until it's all been submitted before I pick it up again ... if I remember!

"Entra nel cattivo (Enter the villain)" - It's pretty obvious the villain has already entered, and Chapter 3 would have flowed very naturally here.

this chapter as nothing of note really happened. I'll stick with the story for chapter three, but I really wish this was longer than one page. It seemed like filler and exposition disguised as dialogue.

Short ,but interesting, as was the first chapter. With absolutely no competition ,longer chapters would make this an easy *5.

Put this one under Non-erotic.

If you can't see that, then go back to being one of the crowd, and leave the bigger words for the big kids.

Just saying

Nothing much happening here, but Richard going to be the snake in this garden.

Richard gets Debbie. Kate gets Rob...Finally!!!

Good story, but there isn’t much emotion getting through. For instance when Debbie and Kate met. The scene was presented in such a factual manner, that the reader can’t empathize with any character. The same with the opening night of the exhibit. I think it’s the lack of dialogue, preventing the characters from blossoming.

The chapters are too short, the foreshadowing is too blatant, and you haven't really managed to evoke any real emotions since Rob's dance with his mother at his wedding.