All Comments on 'Renewal Ch. 01-08'

I gave this full marks. That is extremely rare for me, but I think you have done a great job of dramatizing the process of a couple expanding their sexual horizons under the pressure and perhaps even the desperation to hold themselves together as a couple under the kind of loss no parent wants to endure. I think the tension from the uncertainty made for good drama and the story seemed very realistic right up to the part about talking to Lea at the spa. The idea that Lea and Tal were thinking of our couple as well seemed very pat and contrived. It took me out of the moment.

If you were hell-bent on having it be this particular couple rather than an anonymous man, then you should have had MC introduce the idea to Lea and have that tension work itself out in that couple until they came around, and have it more focused and the wife's trying out each other's man than it being about the women getting together. And only make an even trade if needed since Danny's kink is seeing the MC exhibiting herself and being fucked by another man. I think it would have been more interesting and "tenseful" to have the exhibition get riskier and riskier until he/she allowed someone to touch her and then slowly progress down the slippery slope to getting fucked by a stranger in the back of their car or alleyway in back of a bar. Get a bit out of control before they reel it in wih another couple. Have them go through the (potential) trama of her being used by another man or her feeling used by Danny for his fantasy turned nightmare. Though there could be benefits of writing it your way. I am open minded about that.

Nevertheless, a rare psychological thriller of a cuck story and honestly that is what cuck stories are about, the anxiety and outright angst about getting what you want because real life is messy, unlike in a fantasy, and you might get much more than you want. You might want your wife to fuck other men to please you but do you really want her to like it? The sex is just the McGuffin, in Hitchcockian parlance, of the story to keep the plot moving forward. It is what the characters do with it, their fears and hopes and underlying psychological impulses that make the story interesting. Sex is just subtext. You hit it on the head, men are fascinated by female sexuality but afraid of their sexual agency. So, what happened when you unleash the tiger?

I look forward to finding out in this story. Thanks for writing it.