by soul71
Loving the story. Definitely 5 ⭐️ material. But I am wondering as a writer, why did you down play or "walk back" the women's sexual history? Even as a man, you don't that kind of sexual skill after one or two partners. And in your young 20's, most people are still trying to figure out what turns them on as far as sexual proclivities. This 8s not a knock, I'm just curious.
Still enjoying the story. And thank you for sharing your work and providing mentorship for inspiring writers like myself.
I always took Projecting myself into the story as a sign of a good story. If the writer is good and a character is developed enough I feel I can 'think' like them. So, when that character acts opposite to what I would do, I perceived it as the Writer's screw up. Now that I'm writing myself I recognize the difference. Also, when you read enough comments especially from the Anon's you understand no matter how the character acted someone will tell you it's wrong. So, my advice it to take those type of comments for what they are, maybe give it 5 minute internal debate to see if their fresh eyes may have value. If they do, use it for the next story. If they don't (which is most likely) ignore it. As always THANKS.
Dean should send Mark to live with his father and claim the women for himself. I wouldn't let a punk live under my roof trying to fuck my women.
Even tho Camilla lost her hymen in a bicycle accident she is still technically a virgin and she wants Dean to have it.Now does that sound like a girl in lust or in love?,cause you don't give your virginity to just anyone.Camilla loves Dean with all her heart.
Anna and Julie are just lusting for Dean.Suzie Dean's boss showed her vulnerability by asking him if he thought she was beautiful and he told her flat-out she was.So yes I think Suzie also is in love with Dean.Now between 2 loves,and 2 lusts,could all 5 come together and put aside their baggage and share Dean or will 1 or 2 get so jealous and want Dean for herself.
The question is not for Dean but the four women to decide.Camilla showed slight jealousy when Anna and Julie was with him,but I think she got over it when she seen how Dean only had eyes for Camilla.Suzie is an unknown variable,but I think if confronted with the knowledge that Camilla is also in love with Dean she may can overcome her fears and let Camilla join them in a loving 3-way relationship.
Just wanted to let y'all know just got the edited versions of the first and second part of this storyline back. I'm have a read through then I'll up load it to lit.
Great story. I didn't really enjoy how the mistress was just thrown in the story but other than that i really enjoyed it. Five stars
It seems like he is losing himself. He hated his step mom for years. And now acts like she is forgiven. He and his step sis, should take action. She actually cared about him and saved a keepsake of pictures. Getting revenge on the dad would be fun as well as the step mom.
...I'd have the whole stupid family evicted from my house!
please get an editor i kept losing the plot with this it could be so much better
I don't think the mommy thing would work for him since she caused his mother's death. It should be dick deflating word from her to him.