All Comments on 'Revenge Ch. 04B'

The last chapter is the best submission, one of the best stories I have read on the Internet. Very sorry for that family.

We still like the first ending. We abhore violence and the kids were not harmed. Barb wanted lust rather than love and that is what she received. She destroyed everyone's lives that she knew including her own. Our mother cheated on our father and it reminds us of our own life. When a mother starts calling her husband "baby" and her children "little ones", like our mother called us, then something is very wrong. It is too bad that Barb did not have to go to jail and live with someone that would have really made her the slut she turned out to be.

Laura & Lisa, bi sisters @ CU

The first ending was ok but this was a total load of crap. It was too long, SPELL CHECK please, it seened to be writen by some one else who had no idea of the people he was writing about. All and all a total waste of time .

THIS WAS NOT "B" MATERIAL. WRONG NAMES, SPELLING LOUSY,AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, EVERYTHING WRITTEN ABOUT MARVIN TELLS US HE WOULDN'T HAVE GONE TO THE HOUSE - NOT YET ANYWAY - HE HAD BARB RIGHT WHERE HE WANTED HER -F_ _ _ED WITH NO PLACE TO GO"

THIS STORY SAID THIS WOMAN GOT RAPED AND ONE OF THE GUYS TOUCH SOMETHING IN HER, NEVER BEING TOUCH BEFORE.SO THE WRITER SAID FOR FUTURE LADIES DON'T ENJOY BIGGER COCKS AND GET RAPED OR YOU GET AIDS AND DIE.AS A BLACK MAN IT MAKE ME SICK READING THE CRAP,IF YOU CARE FOR A WOMAN BLACK OR WHITE YOU DON'T TRY AND HURT HER.IF THE WOMAN YOU CARE ABOUT IS GOOD AND KIND YOU TREAT HER WITH LOVE AND RESPECT.WRITER HAVE MAKE A BUNCH OF MONEY PUTTING FEAR IN WHITE PEOPLE ABOUT BLACK MEN WHORING,HURTING WHITE WOMEN.THERE NO TRUTH TO IT, WE ARE TO BUSY TRYING TO MAKE IT.

This ending is worse than the first.

This ending was better than the first; however, it still had some flaws: most notably, the hospital's waiting for Barb for permission before beginning to operate. Tom could have given permission himself because he was an adult, or the doctor could have given permission if Tom was unconscious.

The AIDS theme, though interesting, ultimately seemed gratuitous. There did not need to be blood for transmission to have occurred: all the cum would have been enough. Just the semen alone would have made this story all the scarier.

The sex was much better in this one.

What happened to Mary? The other Marvin and his crew?

LONG, BUT EXCITING STORY. ENJOYED THE STORY VERY MUCH.

How sad and how true! Typical black guy!

if there are any black people that are angry with me because I called Marvin a NIGGER then chances are you are a NIGGER too and you can go fuck yourself. Black men are no different from white men except in color. They have large cocks and small cocks. They love and they hurt. But a Nigger thinks only with his dick because he doesn't have a brain to think with. As far as Barbara goes she should have been set on top of a pointed stake and dropped on it, greased naturally, she would have eventually been ripped apart as the large part split her cunt open but just think of the what she would have had in her cunt before she died a screaming death. Some women, a lot of them, are like her. They think with their cunts, their dripping smelly sagging stretched open wide peices of diseased flesh. Women like this should be known as NIGGER fuckers and should get AIDS and every STD known to man. But that takes too long to die. The stake is best and slow but quicker than AIDS. As far as the husband he should have his testicles and penis removed. he showed himself to be unworthy of them. He worred and fretted on what about his kids that he let them get hurt more than if he had killed the slyt whore himself. God Damit..when a woman treats you like this and you still whine about how much you love her you are one sick bastard. You did write a good story.

...the story was fine...ALL BLACK ADONISs' treat their women like QUEENS!!!...it's obvious that the so called author here is biased against all African-Americans..and so that being said..then the feelings of contempt by the author can be/are ignored..along with his ignorance and hatred!!!...YOU GO GIRLS!!!..the BLACK KINGS RULE!!!...PRESIDENT and FIRST LADY OBAMA will see to it that ALL attractive white women will serve/service the BLACK HOUSE and its ADONIS STAFF..so NOW..whitebread is dead/extinct in BLACK AMERICA!!!...JESSE JACKSON JR. is next in line for the presidency...YOU'll see..YOU GO BRO'!!!...;-)))...BLACK FOREVER!!!

I think i liked this ending the beast.. Bloody twisted but good

This was way to long of a shitty story and made blacks look like they are less than human, way less.

After reading 'most' of this story, I have a few observations about the author:

1) There is not a black character in this story that has any redeeming qualities with the exceptions of being well-endowed and, in a few cases, good lovers when they want to be. Every black male character is either a rapist or an abusive piece of crap. They all harbor a fascination for white women but it is always sublimated by their utter hatred toward them.

2) The main character, Barbara, is fine until she is 'corrupted' by "bad" Marvin's enormous phallus. The cliche is, "Once you go black, you never go back." This author clearly demonstrates that he believes it.

3) The author of this story is EXTREMELY racist and it would not surprise me that he also wrote the anonymous comment about our society's descent into hell.

4) The author obviously has written the characters so absolutely evil and without any sense of compassion or decency, it's sadly laughable. When a character in a movie is painted in such a way as to be utterly devoid of any redeeming quality, it's usually a reflection of the writer's/director's bigotry, not a true reflection of reality.

I have no doubt that there are predators similar to the ones 'drawn' by the author, but that they are very few and far between. The fact that nearly every member of the family and every friend involved were rapists or at the very least hateful toward white women is near pure fantasy for a KKK member or a neo-Nazi. I would think that if this author is not a member of an organization along those same lines, he is definitely a devotee of their beliefs.

I read the second alternate ending and couldn't figure out what was going on until I realized that the author included part of the first alternate ending as 'implied' in the second. If you read chapter two, the last thing that happens is that she shows up at the hospital to report the rape right after letting "Bad" Marvin escape. In the first part of Chapter 04B, it is already implied that she slept with the "new" Marvin and was almost caught by her husband. So, in essence, you have to read the first alternate ending in order to understand the second ending. This is a very flawed story but as I've explained, it is mostly crippled by the authors lack of ability with the English language as well as his utter contempt for blacks. What is even sorrier is that some black men feel it necessary to respond with their own hatred. (Ever notice that both the KKK and the Black Panther Party were both founded and nurtured by the Democrat party? Seems the only thing they have in common is utter hatred for "the other.")

One last thing for this author. If you wish to write further, I suggest that you study the English language. I would also recommend two things: a dictionary and a thesaurus. You don't even have to buy them as dictionary.com has both. Please, please utilize these resources. They make what is a very poorly written story into, possibly, a great one.

Oh yeah. If you would avoid writing anything about race in your erotic stories, they would be much better.

p.s. The whole myth of black men being much better endowed than white men in particular is just that, a myth. It was created by the KKK back in the day to make white men who were not particularly racist, fear black men. This was how they were able to motivate a number of states to implement miscegenation laws. The main point was not to make blacks more proud, but make white men more fearful and hence, more racist. Real research has been done toward how well-endowed men are and there has been no significant difference between the races. There are short and long in all races and no one, particular race has an advantage. (If that were the case, would mixed race guys be only slightly more well-endowed.) If you further this myth, realize that you are perpetuating a myth created by the KKK.

2d marvin taught, so not a low class black man, but he's this hedonistic animal. barb is just a whore, and even so if a white guy had that size cock. Whatever the end, she defined it. But I ask, revenge, where? against whom? Seems like the writing was repeated and this content was not worth the repeated reading. At least Tom gets out and away, and finds what she may not give him.

YOU CAN'T SPELL, DON'T UNDERSTAND GRAMMAR, SENTENCE STRUCTURE, OR PUNCTUATION, BUT YOU THINK YOU CAN WRITE!! WRITING IS FOR READING, AND NOTHING SPOILS A READ MORE THAN SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THEIR CRAFT AT ALL. TRY PUMPING GAS!!!

At least the author knows better than to type in all caps.

1 this story is way raciest, A nigger is the lowest form of black person, selfish, vile but an apt description of some of the blacks people in this tale of woe,like NAZI for whites, and there is so much KKK bullshit in the story..why..woman does not need BBC to be a White Skank: Reference see Clubs and most public figures.

2 She wanted it, in no way was raped she traded it all in for lust, you can call her... a common white woman :reference see any club (nowadays it takes an extraordinary woman not to be self serving white skank in the media)

3 the AIDS death, big deal in no way a good plot revenge add on, so many innocent men and women die from AIDS because of scum..see Africa..whole towns wiped out from cheaters and lust and being told not to use protection because god said so.

4 Marvin was a victim of her lust, yeah yeah logically she brought it all on her self, like wearing a meat suit and getting into the lions den dragging her family, aww poor skank..please... time to grow up it all comes down to freewill and she used hers to destroy the ones she... well a white skank cant love(hell is gonna be full of them)... doesn't want dead because they give her stuff .

To much sex and a little racist but you should expect that with this author