All Comments on 'Rutland'

5/5

I loved the way the story flowed.

Nothing over the top.

"Ellen and I were best friends forever. I still want her to be happy so good luck with your relationship. She is an amazing woman that I would have been thrilled to spend my life with."

Don't know why characters keep saying stuff like this when the story doesn't bother backing it up. Prior to her dumping Rob, Ellen is mostly painted as a ditzy gold digger, and there are almost no instances of her being a best friend to Rob or an amazing woman in general. Sure, he could have just been making stuff up to establish himself as the bigger person and to reassure Darren, but it's not really clear why he'd bother. Just comes across as autopilot feelgood waffle.

Great story line. Thanks. Put you on my "follow" list.

I really enjoyed your tale. It was a good one that ended in a LWL (Life Well Lived). But what caused it to knock it out of the park was the area in which you set it. We used to go through Rutland on the way from Pease Air Force Base to Lake Bomoseen. We would stop in Rutland on the way back for dinner, or breakfast if we spent the whole weekend. To me the setting made it a homerun.

I was last in the area in 2001 when I was at Portsmouth Shipyard with the government doing some oversight of installations. Some of my friends who worked there and lived in Kittery suggested a trip for the weekend to the Burlington for the weekend on Lake Champlain. I countered that I knew a closer and friendlier locations on Lake Bomoseen. We went there and stayed at a friend’s who had a large lake house on the Neshobe Canal. It was a great weekend and now they both have Lake houses in the area.

While your tale was not RAAC or BTB, I feel you wrote a great tale that show in life you are sometimes thrown cures or fastball that just knock you for a loop when they arrive. How you deal with them is determinate on what your life will be like after all the fallout settles. A Life Well Lived (LWL) should always be our goals. It is not always the best for material within a tale created for this site. BTB and RAAC endings have their positions in making a tale flow and weave their way to conclusions. Your vision and ultimate results in this tale were pretty good in my book. Your tale earned the Outstanding Read ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating I gave it.

Thank you for this one and bringing up some great memories of a region I will probably never return. But I will always love. I am looking forward to your future creations of products for our consumption.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Good story. Yes, when there is healing, there can be friendship with the ex.

Ellen was a money first woman. But not completely. Too bad she made such a bad decision. Our MC kept his success in business from her, and his total financial situation. A mistake, maybe. D

Realy well done. FIve stars

"I closed on the house the day of my ex-anniversary. It was a great distraction from my crushing sorrow, but the house was partly supposed to be for Ellen."

Rob didn't find out the house was available, and had no reason to think it would ever pass out of the Therrien family, until after Ellen had given him the divorce papers he had so happily signed. Though he had intended to get a big house for them and the family to come, that particular house was never intended to be partly for Ellen.

Despite that and what I see as inconsistency in Ellen's character, the story was well-written, but being uninterested in the nice girl, choosing the heavily tattooed outgoing forward girl instead and being friends with the ex who had cheated on him while she found a great guy and lived happily ever after were not to my taste. Of course, tastes differ.

10 Big Blazing Stars for a LWL story. The Fact of life that some folks grow up poor and crave more money all the rest of their life. I have seen the results of what happens to attractive young women that have gone to Hollywood and returned burned out so badly they aren't even recognizable after less than 10 years. It can be tough. Well written story, and loved the happy ending. Well done over all. I guess a woman has to do what a woman has to do! I loved the happy ending! Thanks, Buster2U

Okay, he hid money from her, didn’t talk to her about money, didn’t let her work with him for his future, let her think he was a minimum wage loser, never shared his money, did not show her that they had a path to a happy future… and he is shocked that she didn’t want kids with him, living off the ‘pittance’ he shared with her.

/

How unreasonable she is to want a nice house, some good food, and not live on rice and beans…

/

I can hear it not ‘but she is a spendthrift who would waste all that money.’ The lady who was buying clothes from a thrift store and fighting against a new car was a spendthrift? Huh!

/

Was she wrong for the divorce? Yes. Did he have his share of building that wall between them one gold brick at a time? Also yes.

/

Alternate tale: ‘She hated waitressing so I made her my receptionist. She worked like a farm girl possessed, dressing well and negotiating every single dollar she could get for US. Yes, it seemed we never had time, but we put a mattress in the parts room for some late night delight and started finding a beautiful house to raise kids in.’

/

You know, like he shared his money and future plans with Ms. Alternative Lifestyle who, 10 years down the road may decide she either likes coke or women because she’s bored. Artistic types!

/

At least he learned the second time.

A well done version of the "farm girl wants a different life" trope, as well as the classic "wife wants to trade up and never understands just how well-off husband is" trope. I will say it's always a wonder to me that writers somehow feel that money hungry women wouldn't go for the financial jugular rather than just walk away, though.

Enjoyed the story overall but, felt as if the author robbed the story of the emotion and drama it could have had by by moving so quickly through the cheating, discovery and divorce stages of the story. No confrontation with Ellen, no dialogue about her actions. Allowing her to get the drop, hand him the divorce papers and leave ... Just totally devoid of emotion and drama. This could have been a great story instead of merely good.

The guy constantly lied to his wife despite knowing of her struggles with perceived poverty.

And then he's surprised when she ditches him for somebody else.

He evidently has sociopathic tendencies and will blow up second marriage too.

I think my take on this is more reasonable than the authors despite the fact that I'm taking the piss.

Thank you, Rogers1962! Well done and much appreciated.

I wondered (as I usually do as I usually do in these circumstances): when he saw the wife and Mark getting 'handsy' at the dealership, why didn't he call them out right then? He already knows she is cheating at this point. Just start the proceedings. The courts don't really care that she cheated. So why pay to get evidence? I suppose in this situation it turned in his favor: she wanted a quick out without really doing due diligence on his finances. Other than that, he's just prolonging his agony.

No matter: I thank you for sharing your talents here!

Love the story great ending

Okay! Well sometimes people play stupid games and win stupid prizes. But it doesn't mean they have to become uncivilized because things didn't work out like they hoped. Good for Rob not turning into a red a$$ed ba$tard and to Ellen for having the grace to realize she shot herself in the foot and had only herself to blame. 5★

Good tale but not much pathos.

4 stars

I hated this. It was a goddamn Disney story for dudes.

Perfect husband gets cheated on but comes out smelling like a rose while the cheating wife gets shit on by the universe. Fuck that bullshit.

I hate stories where the wife does every goddamn thing wrong while the husband does everything right. It’s about as believable as a Spider-Man cartoon and a lot less enjoyable. I mean, I’ve watched 80’s porn that had a better plot thsn this piece of excrement.

Beating around the bush a little. How stupid can some people be?

Can’t vote. Didn’t read the whole first page. You used too many III.

LOVE slap-hapy-papy #9

Meh, just average. Not bad but not much of a story, despite lots of words. 3***

to Whackdoodle

You made me laugh. :) :) :)

Poorly edited and lacking any pathos. 1*

It was a good read but I'm having a lot of trouble understanding why the MC still bought Ellen a motor after he caught her cosying up to her boyfriend at the dealership. That had to be the end right there but not only did he tolerate it he didn't even confront her about her behaviour.

The author also dropped a grotesque ricket later in the story when he referred to Michelle as 'Ellen'.

A solid four star tale, though.

Not even close to a BTB, more like a warm. cuddly cuckfest.

This marriage never had a chance. She should have been involved enough in their finances to know better. Living separate lives guarantees marriage failure.

follow up please

Editing is not only important for correcting misspelled words but improving the efficiency of the writing. The writing overall is very passive and with a good editor you could probably be consistently scoring between 4.2 and 4.5 range in loving wives which is pretty fantastic.

More a pink fempov romance fairytale than a real LW tale. No good, no bad, just flat..

Goofy. I didn't like any of the characters and the storyline didn't flow.

didn't register with me. He was all too calm and then so willing to remain friends and his new wife also wants to be friends?

secretsal has pretty much summarized how I feel. Nothing he says about Ellen is ever justified. Why spew that load of shit?

I know we complain too much about not reading an aftermath of divorce.

About what happened to the cheating ex-spouse.

But here, really, I think the writer went quite a tad overboard with the aftermath.

But it was a nice story, not sorry I read it.

But to be honest I skipped a lot of the Epilogue.

Ah it seems Ellen did get her wish to trade up from her ex-husband.

She had Darren, handsome and well-built I guess not financially poor.

So it turned out alright for everyone.

That's nice. Thanks @rogers1962.

I'm conflicted. The "best revenge is living well" and the fact that he managed to save ALL his wealth in a divorce, argue for 5 stars. The fact that the mercenary cheating bitch got a happy ending with a good looking rich guy she so (no pun intended) richly did NOT deserve, argues for 3 stars. I'll compromise on 4 stars overall. But I disagree with Just_words, no way you can be friends with untrustworthy lying backstabbing shithead. Even if she feels warmly about you. Regardless of any healing, you can't be friends with someone who's not trustworthy.

I think it's wishful thinking that their relationship could work out so Well, but it's a nice thought.

Why was Ellen not set on fire? CUCK SHIT!

LOL I liked it. A bit choppy in places but I gave ya a 5 anyway. have a good one!

I hope the divorce papers had a "no comeback" clause in them all though I doubt it. Neither of them was smart enough to include one. This felt like a good old boy story except for the tattoo freak.

Hmm. Not bad.

Great story!

"Honey, I know you're worried about money, but instead of telling you the truth so you can feel secure in your life, I'm going to make sure you keep feeling like shit until you decide to leave me." Gee, what a standup guy.

Loved it. I don't need them too complicated. my wife is similar with money. she knows how to spend it, but has no clue how to save it, or how to plan for the future with it. Glad she hasn't shown inclination to cheat. For the commenters that hate a man supposedly doing "everything right", in 90 percent of stories the wife fucks over the faithful husband in the marriage, and in the divorce again. This is a great message to work on your marriage before you get bored or discontent, and fuck it up.

For christ sakes! You don’t do one page of background and setup on a 3 page story! Boring as hell.

I enjoyed the front half of the story but some of its cohesiveness broke down in the back half. In some ways it was overly simplified as plot lines evolved late. Him never telling his wife of the actual savings, then buying the house would have meant the unraveling of the divorce in any universe. 3.5*

I was worried at the top when you said it wasn't a btb that it would turn out as a RAAC story. It turns out that she burned herself. I hope he learned something from his narrow escape and got a prenup for the second marriage.

Not bad, good start, weak ending. Doesn't really make sense that he would stay friends with the ex, she was portrayed as very shallow and stupid.

Nice story! Hope it satisfied you. It's always funny when commenters think they have better endings or character behavior or plot.

Nicely done.

But a part of it was a bit over the top.

It was hard to believe that a woman with money on her mind

would divorce without taking her share from it.

And not check if a simple salesman

really owned what he showed.

But the story had a good plot.

Varied and interesting.

4 out of 5 from me.

Other than Michelle being petite, I didn't care for her described appearance. NO to tattoos and excessive piercings. Actually had a wife very similar to Ellen in that she came from a poor family and chased after men with money. I do NOT miss her.

4 stars for the 'self-burning-bitch' story - it was cute

Too much background info slowed this down at the start, then the ending just meandered and wasn't a particularly satisfying conclusion.

The ex-wife was a gold-digging whore, who showed zero respect or love for the protagonist when she cheated on him, then abruptly divorced him. For him to then be offering her forgiveness at the end was nauseating, as she did absolutely nothing to deserve it.

-

Michelle having tattoos, piercings, and being a sexual dominant in bed are all three huge red flags. In the real world, a woman like that would have racked up a huge body count, and is 100% likely to have crippling emotional baggage from her wildly promiscuous past.

A weak plot to begin with, then drowned in irrelevant and boring details. OK, that you hired two different caterers, one for dinner and one for breakfast, yeah, that was an essential detail. But where were the menus?

\

The first wife was a shallow selfish short-sighted greedy juvenile, and He thought that was good marriage material? And he had to hide his wealth from her to such an extent that she thought he was a financial failure? Yeah, that's a sound solid partnership. And all it took was some counseling to totally rehabilitate her lack of ethics, morals, virtue, and character. Who knew? Maybe the prisons and divorce courts should be told about this counseling magic?

\

A good plot idea, but the turkey was way over stuffed and the dressing had no nuts. Better luck with future efforts.

Yeah, the whole money thing doesn’t fly, especially since she didn’t know about it. Maybe if you’d set the stage more for the legal system to allow that shenanigan, but not as it is.

The rest was sorta meh. I’m sorry to report.

Pretty good story.

Very good story! I really enjoyed it!

If I was Ellen I would have told the ex to fuck off after being totally ripped off in the divorce and

not come to farm anymore and to stay away from her parents and go spend time with his own parents.

Animosity is good-makes for good reading-on going conflict is fun and definitely more realistic than

what happened here.

4 stars

Dare

By comparison, the dialogue in this story makes the dialogue in 90's shot-direct-to-video pr0n sound like Masterpiece Theatre. Also, it was like everyone in the story was on Thorazine--no emotion, no feeling. Devastating news was received like it was no big deal.

Maybe a bit heavy for an erotic fantasy site.

Generic, full of cliches, formulated...

Thank you, as the saying goes 'it ain't over until the lady dog sings', or something like that.

She didn’t put 2 and 2 together and figure out that a busy auto repair business was a moneymaker? And once she found out what customers were paying for a custom paint job, any women of normal intelligence, would have made it her full time job to keep her husband happy, so he could keep operating that money machine.

What a complete pussy this sissy wimp cuck of a husband was. So she didn't get the money, but she fucked him over good and he just took it. Now he's happy for her and they are good friends? What complete horse shit!

YAWN, cliche after cliche, and yet another author who relies on child pornagraphy being found, whether set up or 'not'. 1*

@EdgeOfSlumtown

Generic, full of cliches, formulated...

And all your stories are better, oh wait....you dont have any

Enjoyable story!

5

Good story. Ellen strayed, but that marriage wasn't going to last anyway, with the husband hiding their wealth from her wife. Even knowing how important money was for her. He was practically playing the poor to a person who abhorred poverty.

In the end I liked Ellen's path more. He got all the money (after taking advantage of her generosity) but she grew more and ultimately probably ended up more happy.

Why is he friends with that absolute hoe

GREAT STORY!!!!!

Greed greed greed.......pop goes the weasel.

@anony

Liked the path of gold digger better........LMFAO

He didn’t hide shit, he built for the future.......alone........she had no interest in anything he did or what his plans were. Thank god he didn’t tell her either, she showed her true colors and didn’t work or contribute to any of the money, so didn’t deserve any. I’m glad you think she grew and will be better. Poor Darren, I hope he has money otherwise it is just a matter of time before this gold digging cat jumps at another shiny object.

She wasn’t sorry for cheating, she was sorry that prince was a gold plated piece of shit. She was just sorry it blew up on her.

So, thinking she grew more and will be better in the future is just your delusional perspective. I am curious though......how many divorces have you had so far, you sound like a love em ( HAHAHA) contribute nothing and take half that you don’t deserve woman. I hope it works for you otherwise when you get old I really hope you like cats..........LOL

Great story. Money loving cheater got hoodooed by a poser. Rob gets great new woman and happy life. I loved it.

Interesting that he was married but felt it necessary to hide his money from his wife. Doesn't sound like a balanced and respectful marriage, kind of sounds controlling and arse hole like.

No wonder she get fed up waiting and took what seemed like a better option.

The blame for the failure of that relationship lies on the MC's doorstep. It's not like he didn't know what she was like.

Enjoyed the story. Thanks for your writing.

I agree with a few of the other comments about the wifes and mcs characters. He didnt trust her and she was so stupid you wonder how she dressed herself n the

Morning. Otherwise it was fun

That’s the most amicable split I’ve read on Lit. I liked it. You wrote it well and didn’t draw it out unnecessarily. Thanks for sharing.

If 26thNC say's "he liked it", that's good enough for me! It was so a big thank you for an excellent time! I don't read the stories, I load them into Text Aloud which I might add is an Authors best friend. Top it with Jennifer's sexy voice and it's so much better than reading. You can close your eyes and lean back and enjoy. Score = 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS!

Pfff... Hiding his success from his wife?

I don't think so, he told her everything was good plenty of times. He told her he'd buy her a big house. Be bought her a big ring.

But she chose not to believe him, thought the ring was cubic zirconia, and had no interest in his business. She even disrespected it.

Then she started to act stupid. No sane man is going to divulge his success if he begins to think there's trouble in paradise.

It's her own fault she then made assumptions and gave him an easy-out divorce. As if he wasn't going to jump on that.

Isn't it funny how people (commenters) can revise the truth if their sensibilities are upset?

nice story with good drama.

ex-should be as miserable and as skittish as she was post-divorce, she was a best-friend before being a lover or wife, and she cheats on him. despicable.