Sagittarius A-Town

"I couldn't let them talk like that about Riley. I don't give a fuck what they say about me. I just hate bigots like that. They judge people for things they can't control, while they themselves fuck up everything they can control. They act like it's fucking nineteen fifty or something."

"Yes, I know. And as I said before, I'm incredibly proud of you for that. Your father would have been proud of you, too. We are a family now, the four of us, and we have to take care of each other. That includes you, Riley."

"You consider me family?" Riley asked, wide-eyed.

"Of course." Mom said, turning to her. "You are as much a part of this family as anybody. You're like the daughter I never had but always wanted. I want you to stay with us- to live here with us. Not as an employee, but as a family member."

"Wow. Thank you. I feel so honoured."

"You're welcome, honey." Mom said, before returning to face me. "But you two are still going to have to keep separate rooms, I'm afraid. I'm supportive, not crazy."

"What?" Riley and I said in unison.

"Oh, come on. There's no blanket on the floor."

"What?" I repeated.

"Riley said she slept on the floor. There's no spare blanket - or pillow for that matter -- anywhere on the floor."

"That's because I put them away already." Riley chimed in.

"So you had time to put away the pillow and spare blanket, but not to change out of last night's clothes?" Mom asked.

Riley fell silent, her face turning white.

"Actually, why are you still wearing last night's clothes?" Mom continued.

"I-I forgot to change before falling asleep."

"I'm sure you did. I wonder what came over you."

Riley blushed, looking to me for help.

"Holy shit." I said. "Is this how people on the stand feel when you question them?"

Mom grinned, "I'll leave you two alone. I have to collect Kevin from Susan's house anyway. He'll be worried sick if I'm any later than I already am. I was supposed to get him last night."

And with that, Mom was gone, leaving Riley and I slack-jawed and stupid. When the car pulled out of the driveway, I looked at Riley and laughed - harder than I had in ages. And she joined me. She laughed so hard a snort escaped her. She laughed until her eyes watered and she was breathless. When she finally caught herself, she strode over to me and sat by my side, taking my hand in hers. She stared into my eyes and smiled, melting my insides.

"Kiss me." I said, and she did.

"Did you mean what you said last night?" Riley cooed. "That you love me?"

"Of course I did. Every word."

"Say it again."

"I love you."

She squealed with delight and climbed onto me, wrapped her arms around my body and shifted herself until she was straddling me. She planted her lips on my chest, then lay her head on my shoulder. The sweet apple fragrance wafted from her, pouring deep into my nostrils. My fingers ran through her thick hair, gently massaging behind her ear. Riley purred her acceptance, gripped me tighter and placed another kiss on me. We stayed like this for a moment, wrapped in a tender embrace, until my hands slithered down her body, taking an ass cheek into my palm.

"No, Jake." Riley said, pushing off my chest. "No more sex while you are still with Ashley. I'm not going to be somebody's side-chick."

"You'll never be my side-chick."

"Well, right now, I am. You need to make a choice here. And I really hope you make the right one. Anyway, I need to go take a shower. I'm all filthy and gross."

___

Wind carried ice cold air throughout the vast, expansive field. Weeds crept through cracks in stone and cement, embellishing gray with tiny pockets of green. Bright red flowers and wreaths rustled in the wind, their embroidered sashes dancing and twisting with each shift of the air. The smell of freshly cut grass floated about the area, coming in small waves that seemed to fight the stifling cold. A ride-on lawnmower provided ambient noise for the groups of families sauntering around the graveyard. I sat cross-legged, facing a bleached headstone, nervously ripping grass from the ground.

"Hey, Dad." I said. "Long time no see. Sorry, I haven't visited you sooner. With school and all, I've been so busy I can't find the time to- No... that's not true. I don't know why I'm lying to you. Like I'd ever fool you, huh, big guy?"

I shifted forward, placing my head in my hands, exhaling sharply.

"Truth is, I was scared. I'm scared of this place. I'm scared of death. I'm scared of... seeing you like this. I'm just scared. I'm always scared. I've always been scared. Maybe, that's why I always took everything out on Mom. I was so afraid of losing you, Dad. I wanted somebody to make everything better, but nobody could. I watched you waste away in that chair for years, slowly fading away before my eyes. You were my hero. You made everything better, no matter how badly I fucked up... But when it was my turn to make you better, I couldn't. There was nothing I could do."

Tears stung my eyes as they streamed down my face.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I'm so sorry. I miss you so much it hurts. I wish there was something I could have done to help you. You were my rock. My guiding light. Now, I don't know what to do. I never know what to do... I fucked up big time. Ashley is pregnant with my child, but I'm in love with somebody else. Somebody amazing. You'd love her, Dad, you really would- especially her cooking. You'd definitely love her dinners. They're so much better than mine."

I chuckled through the tears. Dad hated my food.

"What am I gonna do, Pop? I know you'd tell me to do the right thing. But what is the right thing? Is putting Ashley in a loveless marriage right? Is leaving a child without a father right? Are my feelings even important?"

"Please, tell me what to do."

Whistling winds provided me my only answer. I stayed like that, unmoving, eyes transfixed on the headstone. Hours flowed past in a haze. Was it hours? Days? Weeks? The sun now dipped just below the horizon, casting giant shadows across the graveyard. My fingers were stinging and my teeth were chattering when I finally heard a voice come from behind me.

"Hey, baby." Mom said. "I thought I'd find you here."

"Hey. How'd you know I was here?"

"Just a hunch. You're rattling. You must be frozen half to death."

"I'll survive."

Mom strolled past me and placed a magazine at the foot of the headstone. She brushed the stone's face with her hand, wiping the dirt that had somehow caked into the lettering. She plucked a few stray strands of grass that were growing in a crack, and tossed them into the wind. She cleaned her hands on her jeans, and sat beside me, pulling her legs to her chest.

"Your father never knew how to clean up after himself. You know, I come here once a week and the place is always filthy. Twenty two years together and I'm still cleaning up after him."

"You come here every week?"

"Most weeks. I come here to clean and tidy the place. Once a month, I bring him his subscription. 'True life stories for women'. I can't bear to cancel it. If your father doesn't get to read his stories you know how cranky he gets."

I chortled. "I forgot about that. He loved those stories."

Mom placed her hand on my shoulder, looking deep into my pale eyes, "What about you, baby? How are you holding up?"

"I'll be fine. Just needed some fresh air, is all. Riley did a good job. I'll be healed in no time."

"That's not what I mean. What are you gonna do about Ashley?"

"So you know, huh?"

"Riley told me."

I climbed to my feet, stretching my legs as I did. The hem of my t-shirt was dirty and wet, and the freezing damp stung the bottom of my back. I brushed the dirt from my trousers, taking extra time to rub my aching muscles as I did. The graveyard was eerily quiet. It was getting darker now and not a single person was left wandering the field. The lawnmower had long since faded into the stillness, with creaking branches providing the only solace from the dreary silence.

"What can I do?" I asked, sighing. "I'm going to do what is right. I'm going to propose to her. Tonight."

"You're going to propose? What about Riley?"

"What about Riley? Yes, I love her. More than life itself, maybe. But I need to be a man here. I gotta do what's right. I can't allow my child to grow up without a father."

Mom sighed. "Why does it have to be one or the other? Why can't you be with Riley but still be there for your child?'

"Ashley would never allow that. You know what she's like. She wouldn't let me within 2 miles of that child if I was with Riley."

"And that's the kind of girl you want to marry? Are you sure that child is even yours?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I haven't seen Ashley in weeks. Months even. And I've heard... rumours. Rumours that she's not as faithful as you think. Now, you know what this town is like. It might be all bullshit. But... just, make sure you have all the facts before you make any rash decisions."

"I don't believe it. She's not cheating on me. She wouldn't do something like that."

"Wouldn't she? Either way, you two need to talk about this. Sooner rather than later."

I took Mom's advice a little too literally. My phone was in my hand before she even finished the sentence, attempting to arrange a meeting with Ashley. She was crying when she answered -- her default state the past few days. A look of concern furrowed Mom's brow as Ashley wailed down the phone. She shook her head as she dusted herself off, rolling her eyes as she did. It took a solid minute before I could understand Ashley enough to have a conversation with her. She eventually agreed to meet -- in neutral territory. A local diner on the edge of town. One that I had never been to before.

Mom and I said our goodbyes, and I left for the diner. It was a small place at the edge of a cross junction, less than a mile from an industrial park. It was lit up in neon red, and was mostly windows and flyers. My car's air freshener did very little to mask the smell of the factories, even at this late hour. The smoggy, coal smell was certain to negatively affect the customer base - it definitely affected my appetite, anyway. Maybe that's why there were so few cars in the parking lot. I wondered which came first: the park or the diner.

I found Ashley sitting at a booth near the back. She was wearing a mismatch of clothes: pink ugg boots and a gray tracksuit. A yellow scarf was wrapped tightly around a thick, white coat and her hair was tied in a bun. It was a strange feeling seeing her. It felt more like I was meeting an old friend than my girlfriend. She smiled gingerly when I approached, slurping on a large drink. A half-eaten burger was on a plate in front of her, a few fries having fallen onto the table.

"I started without you." She said, as I took a seat across from her. "I hope you don't mind, but I couldn't wait any longer. I feel like I'm always hungry lately- when I'm not sleeping or vomiting, that is."

"It's fine." I replied, waving away a waiter who had come to take my order. "I'm not hungry, anyway."

"Jesus Christ, what happened to you?" Ashley said, when she finally looked away from her drink. "You look like shit."

"Nothing happened. I fell."

"Bullshit, you fell. You look like you went ten rounds with Mike Tyson."

"More like thirty seconds with the Spucklers, but it looks worse than it is. How are you feeling?"

"Pregnant, fat, sick, tired, hungry. Take your pick."

"They all sound as bad as each other."

"I'll say. You sure you don't want something to eat? The burgers here are fantastic."

"No, I haven't been hungry... in awhile, actually. Maybe I'll try eat something when I get home. Did you go see the doctor?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Of course."

"And what did he say?"

"That I'm fucking pregnant." Ashley said, her voice like venom. "You think I'm lying to you?"

"No, I don't think you're lying to me, Ashley. Holy shit, I only asked you a simple question. I'm not accusing you of making up a pregnancy. "

"Oh... well it sounded like you were. It's probably just my hormones going crazy. I feel like I'm bipolar lately."

Lately? "Maybe. Ash, I think we need to talk..."

"We are talking."

"I mean more seriously."

We both fell silent as a waitress came to bus the remains of Ashley's meal. It was an uncomfortably long moment, and I was sure the waitress could feel the tension between us. She looked almost apologetic as she removed the dishes, barely even wiping the table before she disappeared as quickly as she arrived. Ashley sighed when she left, looking at me through giant emerald eyes, almost like she knew what I was going to say next.

"I have something I need to tell you." I finally said.

"You slept with Riley."

"Yeah."

"I figured as much."

"You don't seem upset."

"I'm not upset. I don't care. I mean, I thought I did. I used to... get so angry when I thought about you two together, living in the same house. But not anymore. You can fuck whoever you want. There are way more important issues right now." Ashley patted her belly as she spoke.

"Still, I need to say I'm sorry. You don't deserve this, you don't deserve any of this. I just want you to know that I am going to be with you through this entire journey. That child will want for nothing, and I swear to you I will do right by you. Anything you ever need, all you have to do is ask. I will never be more than a phone call away."

She looked at me incredulously, her mouth agape. "Wait, are you breaking up with me?"

"I mean... yeah. We haven't been right for awhile now. You know that as well as I do. I slept with somebody else, Ash. I cheated on you. We can't go on like this. It's not fair on you. It's not fair on either of us."

Her mouth slammed shut, her eyes flashing with fire. "We are having a baby together." She hissed. "A fucking baby, Jake. You're going to break up with me while I'm pregnant with your fucking baby?"

"You would honestly stay with me after I cheated on you?"

"Yes! Of course, I would. It doesn't matter if we love each other or not, the only thing that matters is the baby in my fucking womb. One that you put there, by the way."

"So you want to spend the rest of our lives together in a loveless relationship? Are we going to sleep in separate beds and hang a sock on the door when we bring home strangers from the bar? Do you not realize how insane that sounds?"

"It worked for my parents. Don't forget you got me into this mess. It's too late to back out now."

"I'm not backing out. I told you I will be there for you- for both of you. No matter what happens."

Ashley rolled her eyes, shaking her head with a click of her tongue. "And what happens when you're off playing happy families with that other bitch? Are you gonna come running then? You need to grow up, Jake. You put this thing in me in the first place."

"Did I?"

The staff were staring at us now, unblinking. Nobody was moving, not even me. Even time seemed to stand still and watch.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I think you know what I mean. We haven't had sex in two months, Ashley. Two whole months. And even when we did, I wore a condom. We never once had unprotected sex. Ever. Now some Cletus lookalikes are telling me you're fucking half the county. So is it the immaculate-fucking-conception, or is it somebody else's baby?"

"How dare you?"

"How dare I? Be honest with me, Ash. Even if it is true, I will still look after you and the baby, no matter what. I promise you that. Have you slept with somebody else?"

"You're such a piece of shit, Jake!" Ashley screamed, tossing the remains of her drink into my face and rising to her feet. "I hope you and your fucking whore enjoy each other. Just you wait and see. When this baby is born I'm going to sue you for everything you're fucking worth. It will be an ice cold day in hell before I allow you anywhere near my child. Fuck you, you absolute asshole!"

____

The house sat under a veil of darkness when I returned. Blue light seeped through a gap in the living room curtain, giving the house a small semblance of illumination in the otherwise complete blackness. Laughter erupted from the living room when I entered the house, and flickering lights dancing a rapid dance beneath the closed door.

They were in synchronised laughter when I entered, Riley and Kevin lay nestled under a blanket together on the couch, while Mom sat in an armchair to their left, wiping a tear from her eye. A mountain of candy and popcorn had shed some of its spoils onto the floor and the sweet smell of soda filled the air. I smiled when I saw them - the three loves of my life - all sharing a moment of bliss around the television. As quietly as possible, so not to disturb them, I shuffled into the room and sat at the opposite end of the couch.

Riley and Mom acknowledged my entrance with a smile, but Kevin was too engrossed to even notice me. He lay with his head on a pillow, facing away from me. Riley stretched her legs and placed them into my lap, covering my lower half with their blanket. She spooned Kevin and they both tucked into a giant bowl of popcorn, with most of the contents spilling onto the couch.

I couldn't enjoy the movie with the same fervour as my family. My mind was elsewhere for the entire runtime. I watched it along with them; fake-laughing at the same moments, gasping at the big reveal, cheering for the protagonist, but never really registering what was happening. Before it had even ended, I quietly snuck off into the kitchen and ate the dinner that Riley had left in the fridge for me. When I finished, I went to bed without returning to see the ending.

I was in bed, tossing and turning, fruitlessly trying to stop the constant rumble in my head, when I finally heard everybody wishing each other a 'good night' and ascending the stairs. Their bedroom doors had long since clicked shut, and the house had long since fallen into silence, when my bedroom door creaked open from behind me.

"Hey." Riley whispered, through the darkness. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah." I replied. "I can't sleep."

"Me neither."

Riley's feet shuffled across the floor, and I felt her weight plop on the edge of the bed. I rolled over and faced her. She was wearing a pink pajamas, and her hair fell in a lock of curls past her ear. It was too dark to make out most of her features but I could still see the gleam of her eyes as she watched me intently.

"Is something wrong?"

"No." She whispered. "Not really. Just... Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't remember? A year ago. After the night we first met. You said you were going to call. Why didn't you call me?"

"I don't know."

"Yes, you do."

I sat up in the bed, my back against the headboard, studying the beauty in front of me. My eyes were slowly adjusting to the darkness, and I could now make out her delicate features. They were pained and nervous, and I just wanted to hold her.

"I'm not sure. I guess, I was scared." I said.

"Scared of what? Of what I have between my legs?"

"No, of course not. Definitely not. That doesn't bother me. You know it doesn't."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'm sure. Riley, I don't care what you have between your legs. You are a girl. You are THE girl. Nothing is ever going to change that."

A faint smile graced her lips. "You can be sweet sometimes, when you want to be. So, if that's not it, what is? What were you scared of?"

"Change, maybe. The unknown. I think apart of me was afraid of losing Ashley."

"And, are you afraid of losing her now?" She asked.

"No. Not in the slightest. We're done. We feel nothing for each other anymore. I split up with her today. I told her everything."

"Oh. How did she take it?"

"Not well. But, for Ashley's standards, it could have been a lot worse."