All Comments on 'Sandy and Amy'

I hadn't realised ths was a comedy site. Thank you that was hilarious!

"dusty rose-colored nipples" Why would her nipples be dusty? Didn't she ever shower?

A business opportuntity was getting a coffee?

"Can we go someplace and do shots until your cloths fall off?" What cloths? The ones she should have used to dust her nipples? Try 'clothes'.

Also glad her place was still in the neighborhood. Nothing worse than your place moving when you're not paying attention!

"Myself, I'm 5'10" 185 pounds, blah-blah- blah" How tall etc are you when you're not yourself?

So, Amy had " a flat taught tummy". What was it taught? Trigonometry? Perhaps if you had been taught English, you would know that 'taught' and 'taut' are two different words? Like "cloths" and "clothes" are different.

"as Sandy kicked her shoes off along with Amy. I reached for the bottle to fill them this time" You filled their shoes with tequila?

"her taught breasts." Wow! Her body must have a PhD! Taught so much!

"She could barley catch her breath" Where the fuck did 'barley' come from? Barley is a cereal grain mainly used to make beer and feed livestock! Did you mean 'barely'?

"who's back was to me" Try "whose'.

"Amy, at this point, was kissing Sandy while licking her ears and biting at her neck" How many moths did she have?

"We all collapsed in a tangled heap of sweeting bodies" "sweeting bodies"? WTF doeas 'sweeting' mean?

"I had to return to the real world"

Best idea you ever had. This story, aside from the crass, childish scenario, really is semi-literate garbage.

You can't write!

Hey, Mafen - ever heard of "constructive criticism"? To take just two of your points, her nipples were not 'rose-coloured but dusty' - they were the colour 'dusty-rose' (it's a thing) - and when he said 'her place was still in the neighborhood', he just means she still lived locally. Never heard of "a turn of phrase" either?

Yes, this story did include some spelling mistakes [MrBill4u, perhaps you'd benefit from another proof-read or spell-check next time]. Cloths/clothes is a common one on this site but did you really have to list them all; or was it just to show how "clever" you are? This piece is unlikely to win a Pulitzer - but it was far from "semi-literate garbage". It was a bit short and fast but I enjoyed it. It offered some sexy, light relief - and that's what I come here for.

Not all stories have to be literary masterpieces. ALL authors are to be encouraged. You can point out any deficiencies in a positive, helpful way, so that they learn and grow as writers. You don't have to just be a hater. (I note that you have no works uploaded of your own, for anyone else to potentially rip to shreds.)

If people don't share their stories here, of whatever caliber, this site will be empty - and you'll have to go elsewhere for your jerk-off material. In fact, perhaps you should - and leave Literotica for readers with a bit of respect for the writes who strive to entertain us and turn us on... We don't need asses like you spoiling it.

@MrBill4U - A good story, and hot in places, but I do feel your writing would really benefit from proof-reading and spell-checking to catch all those pesky little errors that creep in for us all when we write.

If you don't have somebody to check it, might I recommend you open a free account with Grammarly? It will manage to catch those little mistakes for you, which will really help to make your stories a smoother and more pleasant experience for your readers.

@Mafen - Other than to make you feel momentarily better about yourself, was there any particular reason for your deeply unkind response to the author?

Since it would be churlish of me to draw attention to the multiple spelling, punctuation and grammar errors in your tirade, I shall simply ask you to remember that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

I see that you are extremely new to site, and have submitted nothing of your own, but please try to remember that it always pays to be kind and considerate to others. If you don't like a story, that's fine, but it is better to say nothing than to launch a puerile attack on somebody who has put a lot of work into something.