by marriedtosister
How many errors can we have in the first 3 paragraphs? You really need an editor
Pretty straight forward chapter. It was a little lacking in depth, per se. 4*
I am really enjoying this tale of siblings love and lust in the suburbs ( sic.) But I feel it would be more realistic if they bad to deal with the complications of life that most people have to deal with ie. It feels just too handy to have a relative who can deal with their pregnancy and keep quiet about the circumstances surrounding the case. I do hope my comments don't feel out of place to you it's just that I always try and find the reality in things that I read, unless it is an absolute fantasy which I can't accept this is. But I do enjoy the things you write and look forward to your next offering whether it is this series of another. Regards Bob.
do a better job editing. first it’s 8 months then the next paragraph it drops to 6 months
I agree with the previous comments. I dropped you down to a 4 because it was more carelessness than anything else for you to start out saying Sarah was 8 months along, then say 6 months after a few paragraphs. 4/5
I usually never comment (anywhere) about spelling, grammar, typos, and whatnot, but it was very noticeable here. I felt like there was something out of place in every paragraph, as if this was just written without being checked over at all. I didn't let it impact my rating (I base that on the content), but I know many others are not as lenient in that regard. Story was top notch, though these chapters seem to be getting shorter and shorter.