All Comments on 'Sarah and the Gypsie's Curse Ch. 01'

Hopefully the next parts will be longer.

A nice start! The concept reminds me of gao23's "Jinxed!" one of my absolute favorite stories on the site. Looking forward to more and where you decide to take it!

Thank you, I feel pretty honored being compared to gao23.

@Zoolicious I'm sad to inform you that I'm planning to keep the parts short, half the reason I like the premise is that it doesn't take much setup to put Sarah in a scenario where she is stripped and humiliated, which helps me to write them out a lot faster as I work on other longer stories.

I do hope you'll still enjoy reading them.

Glad to see that you've got a bit of time/inspiration to write again, pretty much everyone else I considered worth reading here either vanished or moved to a different site years ago. Seems like a solid start. The 'gypsy curse' thing is a bit cliche, but cliche settings can work when the backstory details are mostly unimportant, and unless I'm way off your focus is going to be on the actual events rather than an epic quest to find the gypsy hobo. Only real gripe I've got here is the age reference, it's limits reader interpretation and doesn't add anything (based on only reading ch.1). Unless it's going to be significant later on, you may want to consider editing that out and letting the reader fill that detail in based on their tastes.

If that's just to make it clear that the character is 18+, there's less restrictive ways of doing to. Mentioning how she chickened out of some dares back before she graduated high school/college could easily be added to the bit where she mentions having a bit of an exhib kink, if desired.

@Anon thank you for the criticism, you definitely have a point there, my intention was close to what you guessed, which is that I wanted to imply Sarah was old enough to be an office worker with future prospects in her career (something that will come up later), but you're right, the way you suggested would have been better.

And yes, the whole point of the series is that Sarah will just keep running into these sorts of situations and won't really care much to go after the gypsy, and how she's slowly figuring the curse out and adapting to her new life.

I like how the curse included people not helping her, it's a nice hand wave as to why people don't help in these kinds of stories and in this case it's not their fault.