Saving Each Other

As soft fabric pulled over my head, I felt one hand grab my wrist, slowly pulling it through a sleeve, and then the other, as though I was a child who had forgotten how to dress themself. I instantly laid back down. I felt the blanket pulled up from the bottom, then the comfort of sweats being inched up my legs. I felt even more useless and terrible.

"You guys should leave me here," I got out quietly, after a quick breath.

"No, girlie. We aren't going anywhere."

"Just breathe slowly, little one."

"I can't..."

"Listen, little one. Liv. The doctors prescribed you medications when you left the hospital to help with anxiety and PTSD. You're going to take one, and lay with us, and see if that helps. It's not a strong medication, don't worry. I've taken it myself before, so I know it's ok. If that doesn't help, we'll go from there. Angie, can you go grab the pills and some water? Liv, sit up a little and come here."

I managed to lift myself enough to rest on Emma's chest, her warm arms holding me securely. Angie was back within seconds.

"Open up, girlie. Please."

I opened my mouth without opening my eyes to receive the pill and water, returning to the pillowy comfort of Emma's full chest.

"Angie? Can you put on something funny and light? She likes female comedians or corny dance movies when she's like this."

"On it."

I hear the musical background of a corny hip hop dance movie, as Angie surrounds the rest of my body.

"Little one, try to stay with our breathing. I know you can feel both of us breathe the way we have you. We've got you."

"Slowly. In and out," Angie reminds me.

It seems as though they synced up their breathing, and I try to follow, stumbling at first, trying to break through the short gasps of my anxiety. Angie rubbing my arm, as Emma runs her hand through my hair. Eventually, my breathing starts to even out. I open my eyes just a tiny bit.

"Heyyy, there you are. Wanna talk, little one? It's ok if you don't... we have time."

I shake my head no, as I barely look over Emma and Angie. Both are in a tank top and panties.

"What happened to sweats and hoodies for all?"

"Haha girlie, you're like a furnace. That's why we started requiring less clothes to begin with! You might feel cold, but that sexy body throws off too much heat!"

I nuzzle my face deeper into Emma's chest in embarrassment.

"It's ok, my little one. We don't like clothes much anyway. We figured we shouldn't be completely naked when you opened your eyes though. We'll put on more if it's bothering you."

"No," I responded, "just stay, please."

"We aren't going anywhere. Watch the movie though. You know the endings are always the best."

"Yeah, underdog always wins in the end. That's usually the good part," I got out before I started to panic again, hearing my own words.

Angie realized what I was thinking, let me go, and walked around the bed so she could take my face in her hands.

"Listen," Angie started, "Larry isn't the underdog. I am. You know most females don't get out of situations like this alive. Everything is finally working out for me, the underdog in this battle. Just like you were the underdog when you fought him off long enough for the cops to get here without hurting us. So it will be fine."

"What about Emma?" I asked jokingly.

"Eh, well. If you didn't miss that vase, you won't now," Emma laughed, "he missed because I threw a vase as he shot. I can't hit the broad side of a barn, but somehow I hit him with it from across the room! Also, I've been the underdog in many other situations. It's why I can be strong for us now. Will you two rest and watch the damn movie now?!"

We both laughed at her a little, and I gave her boob a little squeeze as reassurance I was ok, when I still really wasn't. I wondered when I ever had a vase in my house. Glad she threw it, either way. She probably saved us both.

As the movie ended and the underdog won, as usual, Emma held me a little tighter.

"It's almost dinner time, and you haven't eaten, little one."

"Not hungry. You guys go eat. I want to sleep more."

"You gotta eat one thing. Just one. Something that I deem is enough. Then you can sleep. You can even decide whether we stay with you, or if you want to be alone after you eat."

"You?"

"Delicious, but not nutritious. Try again. And maybe I'll let you have that for dessert."

"Hmm... grilled cheese?"

"Make it two, and we'll call it a deal."

"Fine."

"On it!" Angie exclaimed, jumping out of bed.

"Yeah, Angie deals with her stress by cooking and cleaning, if you haven't noticed. If you were still ok when she came back from making breakfast, you'd either be a hundred pounds heavier, or she'd be cleaning the grout with a toothbrush," Emma joked.

"I know. I just don't feel well after I eat when I feel like this."

"I know. But you have to eat. And now she's probably making 20 grilled cheese sandwiches with 5 different cheeses. So you better eat at least two, so she feels okay as well. Me and you can talk about what's in your head later. For now, just relax back into me until she comes back. I've got you."

As I melted back into her, and was just short of dozing off again, Angie popped back in.

"You guys wanna eat in here or in the kitchen?"

"Kitchen. Come on, little one. You gotta move a little. Eat a little. Then you can do whatever you want for the rest of the night."

I dragged myself out of bed, stumbling to the kitchen. Emma pulled me into her lap at the table. She wasn't wrong. Angie asked me what kind of cheese I wanted. I shrugged. Em grabbed half a sandwich and held it to my mouth. Taking a small bite, I weakly smiled at Angie. After a sandwich and a half, I'd had enough.

"That's two, right?"

"Nice try... just another half to go."

"Please, girlie? For us?"

I sighed, as Emma brought another bite up to my lips. When finished, I wanted to ask if I could go. I patiently waited for them to finish, offering to help clean. Angie told us both to go and she'd clean up.

Emma brought us back to our original position in bed, my head on her chest.

"You ready to talk while she's cleaning?"

"No. No talking. Movie please?"

"Fine. But we're gonna talk about this sooner than later. That's not a question. You need to talk about it, and I know you don't trust therapists and doctors, so you will talk to me."

"Fine. Just not yet. I need to process."

"You have two days."

"Careful. You said I could do whatever I wanted if I ate two sandwiches. I'll eat you for dessert..."

"You be careful, little one. While I'd let you do that, you aren't ready for what you'd get in return!"

Knowing she was right, I took a deep breath and settled back into her, bringing one of her hands to my mouth to kiss it. Angie joined us shortly after.

"Little one, it's been about 6 hours. Why don't you take one more pill so you sleep well? It's every 6-8 hours, and you look calm. I'd like for you to wake up that way."

"I'd argue, but it feels pointless."

"Good girl."

I took the pill and settled back into my place, not used to Angie being the bigger spoon when it's the three of us. I started to feel bad, until I felt her snoring behind me shortly after. Thinking Emma was also asleep, I turned my head to kiss her chest and go back to the next movie.

"Trying to get a quick taste? Haha. Go to sleep, little one."

"Wanted to kiss you good night, but thought you were sleeping."

"Mmhmmm," she said as she shifted to kiss me sweetly, "now will you sleep?"

"Maybe. It's not for lack of trying..."

"Listen to my heartbeat and focus on my hand running through your hair. Or over your arms. All harmless and innocent tonight. Only comfort, little one. You do whatever you need to do to feel comfortable and safe right now."

"I... I don't know. I don't know what that is."

"Why don't you go with what you know for now? You know you can match your breathing to mine, that the meds are working, and that we will work this all out. Are you not comfortable laying on me? Because that's an easy fix, we can move to make you more comfortable.."

"No! I mean... I like it right here. Thanks. I... I am tired. You are comfortable, and safe."

"What are you holding back, little one? Because it feels like something menial. What can I do to help you sleep better?"

"Is it ok... if, I stay clothed, but you take your shirt off? It's just... I'm still cold... but, I've gotten used to sleeping next to you or Angie nude. It feels... off, right now. If that makes sense. I feel like I'm being weird. I'm sorry."

"No apology necessary. Lift your head for a second, please?"

Emma shifted, removed her tank, letting her perfectly rounded breasts bounce out. Then paused, held up a hand, and shimmied out of her panties.

"There you go, my little one. Naked. If you want that 'dessert' you were asking for earlier, I'll let you have it. But I won't be able to resist teasing or pleasing back."

"Mm, tempting, but Angie should sleep. Maybe tomorrow, if I can. Thank you."

I laid my head back into her breast, resting my arm around her waist. I grazed my hand up a bit, discovering she's also a bit ticklish, to rest off to her upper side. I knew full well where my hands would end up when we awoke.

"Are you able to rest like this, now?"

"Yeah, Em. Can you restart the movie for random background noise? Or will that keep you up?"

"I'm not sleeping until you do."

Emma restarted the movie, as I focused on her touch, and the feel of her soft skin. Before I knew it, I was out cold.

The meds and being close to Emma didn't halt the nightmares, with things approaching so quickly. I nearly jumped out of my skin in the middle of the night. Emma was right there to push me back into the bed, and shush me. Checking on Angie, still fast asleep, Em told me we would talk the next day. Telling me to go back to sleep, as she cradled and rocked me slightly in her arms. I pretended to breathe deeply until I knew she was out, then quietly climbed out of bed.

I wandered around aimlessly for an hour or two, doing whatever dishes I could find, throwing blankets and sheets in the wash. I fell asleep at the kitchen table, and was woken up by a panic of the girls thinking I wasn't ok.

"I'm fine.... Couldn't sleep. Sorry. Can I go back to bed now?"

"No, little one. Not yet. Angie, why don't you get dressed and go shopping? Get the rest of the things you want for your room, and everything else I listed for later?"

Angie nodded, with an unsure look on her face, but quickly got dressed, grabbed the keys to my car, and left.

"Let's go, little one. Shower or bed?"

"Bed. Want more sleep."

"The amount you want to sleep is a sign of depression, amongst other things."

"So, shower, then sleep?"

"It's going to end the same either way. I need to know what you're thinking."

"Bed, then."

"Ok, let's go."

Emma pulled me up from the table, guiding me again back to what I now considered 'our room.' Pulling the blankets back and laying down, she patted on the bed in front of her. I complied.

"No sleep yet, little one. Speak your mind. I know you're afraid to say what you're thinking in front of Angie because you don't want to worry her. Just say it."

I broke down in tears. Emma waited patiently, wiping them from my face. Eventually, she got up, and came back to me with a pill bottle and water.

"Take this. It's fine, I have it timed out. It'll probably calm you down right after you spit out what you're thinking."

"What if Larry wins? What if he's found innocent somehow? Because that's always been my luck. The abusive one is free. Then I'll need to get a gun to protect her, and I'm a good shot, but you know I can't have that in my house. You know I get too 'low' for that sometimes. I could hurt more than just him. Will he go back to Florida without problem? Will he come back after us? What's going to happen? Jesus. I can't breathe. Fuck...."

She pulled me in tighter, telling me to breathe, shushing me, still wiping my tears.

"Oh, little one. Liv. Everything is way more ok than you think. Larry has three attempted murder charges. Cops as witnesses. They shot him as he shot you. The evidence is stacked against him, and he has no way out. He also has breaking and entering, trespassing, and domestic violence charges now. It's ok..."

I laid there, cried my eyes out, while she held me. Partially relieved of my worry, partially still afraid of court. That's the messed up thing about depression, anxiety, and PTSD not everyone talks about. Even when things are rationalized, you can still overthink it to a panic. Then I felt horrible, because after an hour of talking and crying, Angie came back to find us like that.

"Oh, Em. Is she still freaking out over Larry?"

"Yeah. We talked. I think she just needs to get it all out. It's ok."

"Girlie, I pressed charges against him. That's partially why all of this is happening. But they know everything. That you guys came to save me, that you tried to fight him in self defense. It's three against him, and he really isn't so smart, obviously. He thought he could take down super woman all by himself!"

I laughed through tears.

"I really should hang my cape up. I love you, and it was worth it. But it's exhausting."

"Liv, hang up the cape. I don't need saving. I'm here. With you and Emma. Yeah, someone in the future might need saving, but for now? Relax. You put a bad guy away. Maybe it didn't work out for you in your own life, and I'm sorry. But you saved me. And Em. Let us save you back. Please. Whether it's feeding you or whatever other stuff we do. And it's not obligation, it's love for the person you are, and what you so badly need in your life!"

"What do I need in my life so badly?"

"Love. To know you are loved, and that some people will take the time to understand you are complicated. It's fine to be that way, because the world made you this way. Do you see either of us running away?"

"No," I sniffled, "why are you still here? I thought you'd both have bolted."

"Because we love and care about you, little one. Now, I'm going to need you to take as big a breath as you can. Need to see how you're progressing."

It took a few minutes to calm down to try, but I inhaled as deep as I could. Less pain, but still there.

"Good job. That's my good girl. You're really healing well. Should be all set within the week, I think."

"All set for what, exactly?"

"Oh that's a discussion for another time. For now, you are allowed to wear clothing as much or as little as you'd like. You can shower alone if you choose. No teasing. You're free for the next few days. I only want to see you feel calm and safe."

"But, you guys don't make me uncomfortable, or make me feel unsafe--"

"Just trust me, little one. You can choose for now, and there will be no repercussions."

"So we can stay in bed and just cuddle?"

"Yes."

"Angie? You're really ok?"

"I am. I've come to terms with this. I've been working on my room. I think you'll like what I've done with it later!"

I sighed, and pulled Angie into me, as Emma wrapped herself around me, just as we did that first night home. Innocent, but keeping us all safe. I hoped I'd never have to save Emma, but her guy seemed nice. It still only took Angie a few minutes to wiggle into me teasingly, before declaring it time to cook and eat again. I fell asleep in Emma's safe arms, missing breakfast and lunch, and ordering us dinner before they could come up with other plans.

____________________________________

The day of the trial, they both helped me dress. A basic, yet sleek, suit. Both of them in appropriate dresses. We walked in with them flanking either side of me. Emma introduced me to a lawyer I didn't know we had. A stout, older man, who smiled, and told us this is an easy one, and everything will be fine. Emma asked Angie if everything was set up for after. When I questioned it, they only said 'to celebrate.'

It took two full days for the trial. The first day, being whatever explanation the defense could come up with for his actions. I was accused of kidnapping Angie. Since Emma was with me, and there were records of texts and calls, that was laid to rest quickly. The second day was us telling it from our side. Angie confessing to the amount of abuse she had endured being married to him, Emma next, describing the night we went to get her and the events the day after, and then it was my turn. Remembering both of my girls here, I took the deepest breath I could, and let it out slowly, as I approached the stand. The defense was up first.

"Is it true you tackled Larry as he walked in the door?"

"Yes, but--"

"Is it true you sat on him, repeatedly punching him?"

"Yes, but he--"

"All of this after driving multiple hours to bring his wife back to your home? And what did you do there that set him off so bad?"

"OBJECTION!"

"Sustained."

"No further questions, your honor."

Fuck. Now I'm the bad guy and this dude only got shot once by the police?!? What the hell is this? Thank god our lawyer took over before I lost it.

"Is it true the defendant was abusing your friend? At least to your knowledge?"

"Yes."

"When she called you, it sounded as though her life were in danger?"

"Yes. He was trashing the house in the background, while she was locked in the bathroom."

"Thank you. Afterwards, you and your friend Emma drove down to meet her at a random hotel after that call? And you paid for all of this?"

"Yes sir. I had her set up a secret account after he left her without food or money last time he left."

"Then he came to your house and shot the locks off your doors?"

"Yes sir," I said, trying not to tremble with the memories.

"If you need a break, we understand. It's ok."

"No. Let's finish this," I replied, staring at Larry, daggers in my eyes.

"Very well. You tackled him when he came through the door because he had a gun. Correct?"

"Yes."

"What happened then?"

"I felt a burning pain in my arm, and threw a table at him before tackling him and throwing the gun. There was more pain in my side and leg while trying to keep him down."

"Was that the first bullet, and the knife wounds you sustained, protecting your friends in your own home?"

"Yes."

"When he got out from under you, he kicked you multiple times, correct?"

"Yes..."

The lawyer brought up on screen, pictures of all of my wounds and the bruising on my ribs. I didn't know the photos existed, and it was ugly looking.

"My client sustained two gunshot wounds, two knife wounds, and multiple fractured ribs. And the defense is trying to call her an assailant? For helping a friend? That second gunshot, by the way, was pushing her friend, the defense's wife, down to protect her. Almost assuredly saving her life, with the help of her friend who admitted to throwing a vase as he was aiming at them. And this woman still tried to get out of bed at the hospital to make sure her friend was ok. If that isn't a hero, I don't know what is. Did the defense worry about his wife's well being? I doubt it. That will be all."

I returned to my seat, eyes still locked on Larry. All I could feel was hatred, anger, panic. I felt a hand on each shoulder that broke that gaze, returning me to the room. I had missed much of what had been said while staring him down.

"The jury finds the defendant guilty, of three counts of attempted murder, breaking and entering, domestic violence...."

I wasn't the only one holding my breath on that one. I felt all three of us exhale.

___________________________________

I insisted the lawyer join us for dinner out. It felt reasonable after Emma had hired him, and he let our stories be told. He eventually agreed. How could he turn down three attractive women? I brought them out to the best steakhouse I knew in town, and requested the manager. I knew him personally for some years beforehand, and asked that he provide his top of the line food and wine to both the lawyer and my girls. He smiled almost knowingly, bringing over my favorite waitress. They had supported me before my inheritance, drinking late and leaving huge tips. The other three ate steak and lobster, with whatever sides they requested at ease, with bottles of the best red wine the waitress could find. I sat and laughed with them, as the manager brought me a plate of Alfredo with chicken and a beer, as he joked about my earlier days visiting the establishment. Before we left, I slipped cash into his pocket, after signing off on a tip that would pay our waitress' rent for a month. The kind lawyer thanked me again, as I did him, and we parted ways.