Saving My Soul

Hearing my mother mentioning my career so casually had me chuckling. "Never thought I'd discuss this with you, Mum."

"I haven't been celibate since your father walked out on his family, Mark, but I'm not exactly beating off the men either."

"More fool them because you're gorgeous, Mum."

She met my eyes as she looked me up and down. "I take it you enjoyed those films with mature women?"

"Certainly did when I was in my early-twenties and I'd be paired with a woman in her late-thirties or in her forties. One or two were in their fifties. I'm sure you know one or two of the scenes I did..."

"Step-mother?"

Laughing again, thankfully Mum joined in too. "That sort of shit has blown up lately, but I think it's because it's one of the final taboos. They can't claim it's actual incest as it's illegal, plus no-one would believe it anyway, but 'step this' and 'step that' is now everywhere on the internet. When we're doing the scene, we'll laugh about the dialogue before, then just focus on making the scene as hot as possible."

"What other taboos?"

"The sort of stuff I had no interest in. One girl with five to ten blokes, just gangbanging the shit out of her. Double anal. Double vaginal. Treating her like a piece of shit. Slapping her, choking, all that sort of shit. Peeing on them. Bethany was eventually getting offers in that sort of thing. I saw one of her scenes and I could see her eyes. She hated every minute. But she did it more than once because the money was just too good to turn down."

"You miss her, don't you?"

"Every day, Mum. We might have ended our relationship, but we eventually worked our way to becoming friends again. I don't blame myself any longer, and certainly don't blame her. I blame Brian, as he was the one who got her hooked on cocaine. After that, she was doing all sorts of other shit. Thing is, if you read up online about the industry, or watched any number of documentaries about it, what happened isn't that big a surprise."

"You won't miss it, will you?"

"God no. I wasn't looking at retiring this soon but I figured it was either going to kill me in the end, or I'd have to retire and just disappear. The idea was always to come home eventually. Maybe."

It was starting to get warmer as the spring season approached summer, so after lunch, I headed out to the pool for the first time since returning home. I wasn't surprised that my sisters and mother joined me. The bikini Sally wore would have been considered scandalous, as it barely covered the small mounts on her chest, nor her quite obviously bare pussy. Charlotte had a fuller figure than her sister, standing a couple of inches taller. Darker hair down to the middle of her back, gorgeous brown eyes. Paler than her sister, a larger chest, but the bikini bottom suggested she either shaved or was very well groomed.

Then Mum walked out and I felt my jaw drop. Near fifty years old, she carried a little more weight than her daughters but carried it well. It wasn't exactly a bikini but she still had lots of skin on show. She coloured her hair, a vibrant red. Her blue eyes sparkled. Largest chest of everyone. She wore regular swimming shorts so I figured she was at least groomed.

Despite them being family, I remained in the pool as I felt my cock come to life. I had no idea why I was turned on. Perhaps it was because I was feeling things for women I actually cared about and genuinely loved. I guess being stone cold sober also helped. After months and years of abusing my body with all sorts of things, I was surprised my cock functioned most of the time.

Joining me in the pool, we spent an hour or so just cooling off. My two sisters fooled around with me and I didn't miss the fact their hands were touching all over my torso, though thankfully, they avoided my groin. If they'd touched me there, they might not have been entirely surprised that I was turned on. Sally was two years younger than me at twenty-six but could pass for much younger, a mixture of cute and adorable. Charlotte was fifteen months older than me but was absolutely stunning as well. When both cuddled into me, I could only close my eyes, whispering how much I'd missed both of them, and that despite everything, I'd never forgotten them, missed them, and always loved them.

Both of them cried on my shoulder, Mum cuddling into me from behind, feeling her larger breasts pressing into me. "We loved and missed you too just as much, baby," she whispered, kissing my cheek.

I'd been home a few days by then, and had barely left the house, my body recovering not only from the jet-lag, but my body was still craving cocaine and alcohol. The pot had been easy to give up as I was just a social smoker. Mum worked at the hospital and sought advice about people getting over drug and alcohol addiction. I didn't want to go in for any sort of treatment as I didn't know anywhere I could score cocaine anyway, and not drinking wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be.

And I wasn't just doing it for myself. I wanted to be clean for my family.

Mum suggested we head out for dinner that evening. The idea did make me a little nervous as, back in LA, I was recognised often when doing simple things like the shopping. Doesn't matter if you start in regular or adult films, people will still want to take a selfie, want a signature, or just stop and chat. I didn't think not being in the States would change anything. Most of my films were not just on DVD or Blu-Ray, or whatever they were sold on nowadays. Everything was online, and despite what people think, billions of people still happily pay for well-produced pornography.

Arriving at the restaurant, I felt eyes on me until I realised it wasn't through recognition. They thought I was one lucky bastard to walk in with three gorgeous women. Mum wore a long black dress, down to her knees but it had a plunging neckline that showed off plenty of cleave, thick straps over her shoulders but her arms were uncovered. Charlotte's dress was similar, navy blue, shorter hem and even tighter, if possible. Her arse looked spectacular. Sally wore a little red dress. If some eyes were on me, everyone looked at her. She appeared confident but the colour in her cheeks had her looking adorable in my eyes. She hung on my arm, gazing up at me constantly and smiling. Charlotte did the same thing on my other arm as we were led to the table.

For the first time since my return, the entire focus was on their lives. Mum remained coy most of the time, Charlotte talked about her career but eventually told me about her marriage and the, what she called, inevitable divorce, admitting she simply married the wrong man. Sally admitted she was happy being a primary school teacher, and wasn't interested in dating around. When I'd told her I was considering the same career, though preferably high school so I could focus on a sole subject, she was already putting together things I'd need.

Returning home later that evening, they'd enjoyed a glass or two of wine with dinner, and asked if it was okay if they opened a bottle at home. "I don't drink wine anyway," I stated.

We talked late into the night until we were all ready to crash. Mum disappeared first, giving her a long cuddle as I'd done every night since I'd moved into the apartment for those few nights before we'd departed for home. She kissed both my cheeks and smiled at me. "I'm glad you're home, baby," she whispered, "See you in the morning."

Charlotte and Sally escorted me to my bedroom door. Charlotte hugged me tightly, moulding her body into mine as I held her tightly. She whispered into my ear that she loved me, kissing my cheek, walking off to her own room. Sally hugged me tightly as she did every night, whispering how much she loved me.

"Goodnight, cutie," I whispered. I'd called her that every night since we arrived back home.

Closing the door to my bedroom, I stripped down naked, putting all my clothes in the basket, before getting into bed, lying back with my phone. I had a couple of messages from those back in the States, sending messages back. Browsing a little social media, there was a knock at the door, calling whoever it was in.

Sally appeared through a small gap, closing the door behind her. She wore an incredibly small pair of pink panties and a thin pink crop top, spaghetti straps over her shoulders. She looked incredibly cute but smouldered with an untapped sexuality at the same time. "I've waited every night to find the courage to do this," she whispered, "Can I just sleep with you tonight?"

"I'm naked under these sheets, Sally."

"I don't care. I just want to cuddle with my brother, like we used to."

"I wasn't naked then. But okay, come on."

She giggled, bouncing her way towards my bed, sliding under the sheets and cuddling into me for a couple of minutes, turning off the lamp on the nightstand. When she kissed me softly on the lips, it wasn't a real surprise. "I love you, Mark."

"Love you too, Sally."

Smiling at me, she turned over and spooned back against me. She would have felt my thick but flaccid cock against her. I was one of those fortunate men who was both a shower and a grower. Feeling her tight body against me, sister or not, it got me a little excited. Wrapping my arms around her, she felt tiny when resting back against me. Then again, I was probably an entire foot taller than her. She seemed to fall asleep far quicker than I did. Apart from the occasional night with Clarice or Loretta, two women I loved but wasn't in love with, it had been a long time since I had someone in bed I loved as much as I loved my little sister.

I was woken in the morning by movement, opening my eyes slowly to see the back of her head, but I felt her moving her lower body against my now rock hard cock. Part of me didn't really blame her for being turned on, considering what she'd admitted to the previous day. She realised I was awake when my fingers started to caress her chest. What did surprise me was the fact she slipped off her crop top so her upper body was naked.

Running my fingers up to one of her breasts, I felt how hard her small nipple was. She gasped as I gently ran my fingers over both of them. Moving my hand back down her body, I arrived at the top of her panties, moving past them to run down her smooth leg, lifting it up so it rested over both of mine. Gently running my fingers over the thick fabric of her panties, I felt how damp they were when I moved my hand slowly between her legs, the whimper causing my cock to throb.

"I'm not sure this is a good idea," I whispered, "You are my little sister, after all."

She turned around and her blue eyes gazed into mine, her soft fingers caressing my cheek. "I've dreamed of this moment for so long, Mark."

"You have?" She moved back against me, wrapping my arm tighter around her. "For how long?"

"I used to watch your content with Bethany when you made your movies here. I'd imagine you were with me all the time." She paused before adding softly, "And I'm not the only one who feels this way."

"I'm a mess, Sally. I have been for years. I'd probably still be considered an addict, an alcoholic. I'm unemployed. You can do better."

"I couldn't say anything all that time ago because you were in love with Bethany. You would never have seen how I looked at you. Mum noticed. And so did Charlotte, because she looked at you the same way."

"And Mum?"

She giggled. "Oh, as far as Mum is concerned, she'd just like to live out some mature lover fantasies with you."

"And what do you want?"

"My brother to love me in the way I love him. I don't care what you've done the past few years, Mark. I know you've been over there, living your own life to what were pretty much your own rules. I'm not going to judge you, nor will anyone else in our family. Your choices were your own, but so are mine. I'm not going to sit back and wait any longer to grab what I want the most."

"You've obviously given this a lot of thought. I'm going to need time to wrap my head around this. You're talking incest, Sally. I've done a lot of things but that isn't something..." I could see the concern in her face, so I pulled her tighter, leaving a soft kiss on her lips. "I love you, Sally," I whispered, "You're my little sister who, even after a few years, is still as cute and adorable as I remember." I paused before asking, "Is this why you don't date?"

"Pretty much. I just masturbate a lot to your films, imaging every single time that I'm the one you're fucking. And no, I don't fool around with Charlotte or Mum just because I'm single. I'm not bisexual. I'm straight but I'm also weird as the one man I really want is my brother."

"And Charlotte?"

"Will be coming in here tonight and she will tell you the same thing."

"And Mum?"

"She loves you, but won't expect anything more than to make love with her son every so often. And, to be honest, Mum does need a good seeing to."

"I want to ask why now..."

"Because you're home, you have a family that loves you, and we're not going to let you go again."

I kissed her again, and this time I slid my tongue into her mouth. It was almost too much, too soon, as she whimpered as I kissed her, throwing her leg over me as she rubbed her panty covered mound against my cock. She had to break the kiss as she couldn't stop smiling. "Anyone else I need to worry about?"

"Well, all your aunties are still married, though they're aware of your adult film career. As for any cousins, they're either married or in long-term relationships. Adrienne used to have a massive crush on you growing up, but she's been with her boyfriend for years now. Erica is a lesbian, if you didn't know."

"When did that happen?"

"She came out around four years ago. What's amusing is that her and her girlfriend are not what you'd think. I joke they look like the sort of lesbians that would appear in your films."

Mum knocked on the door, opening it after I called her in, finding Sally in bed with me. I'd covered us up with the sheet, but with Sally's rather red cheeks, I knew Mum would assume things. If she did, so be it, but I was left thinking Mum was fully aware of how Sally felt about me. I would have thought Mum would warn me off, considering I was a red hot mess at the moment, but all Mum did was let us know she was making breakfast again, since it was the weekend and she was treating her son, since he was home for the first time in years.

"I'd love nothing more than for you to get me off, Mark," Sally stated once Mum shut the door.

"Fingers or mouth?"

"God, I'd love you to eat my pussy, Mark."

"Good thing for you is that I love eating pussy."

"Who did you love doing it with on film?"

"To be honest, you'll hear me talk about Clarice constantly when I talk about my films. Same with Loretta. But another was Jamie Jones."

"Oh, she was adorable. And so tiny compared to you."

"She was four foot ten, Sally. Even smaller than you. I'm glad she stuck to regular stuff because she was just adorable, and despite what she did for a living, retained this innocence about life. I'm glad she only hung around for a couple of years before going home. Anyway, she loved it when I went down on her in a scene. Never faked an orgasm. Once I figured out her body, damn, she could cum."

"Anyone else?"

"One more. Gloria Cole. A real Latin firebrand."

"And she rarely did anything except with you, from what I remember."

"I know. After our first scene together, she pretty much demanded from her agent and the studio that I would usually be her co-star. Unfortunately, as I learned with Bethany, that shit doesn't fly for too long. She did end up doing scenes with other guys, but for every one with someone else, she'd do three with me. And we'd usually head back to hers or mine after a day of shooting to keep going. Hard to ever call it lovemaking, but I loved eating her pussy all night."

"Fuck, I'm dripping wet here, Mark," she whimpered, biting her bottom lip as she met my eyes.

Moving my lips to her ear, I whispered, "Then masturbate for your brother, little sister. But our mother did call us out for breakfast."

Reluctantly, she slid away from me, and I could see the enormous damp patch between her legs. Sliding on her crop-top, I did put on some underwear, something I rarely wore, and Sally's gaze lingered on the large bulge. I purposely wore tight underwear for that very reason. "Oh god," Sally whispered.

Taking her hand, I led her out of my bedroom into the kitchen. Charlotte noticed our arrival and she dropped the glass of juice in her hand, jaw dropping wide. I wasn't sure if it was because of me or the fact her little sister was completely and utterly aroused. Leading Sally to her chair, Mum had noted our arrival and I didn't miss her lingering gaze over my entire body.

"Fuck," Charlotte finally muttered, "Morning, Mark. Are you okay, Sally?"

"I'm so fucking turned on right now," she murmured.

Taking the chair next to her, I leaned closer and ran my fingers up and down my thigh. She gazed at me with those gorgeous blue eyes, a mixture of lust and love as I caressed her soft skin. She whimpered more than once and I knew she would probably do anything I asked.

"Did she tell you how she feels?" Mum asked.

"She did, Mum. Before you ask, I'm going to need a little time to get used to the idea. But I do love my little sister..." I turned to gaze at Charlotte, "As much as I love my big sister." Charlotte blinked rapidly and looked away, taking a deep shuddering breath, and her feelings were as obvious as Sally's. I knew that same evening would be another emotional rollercoaster. Looking back at Sally, she was chewing her bottom lip. My hand was nowhere near her pussy but just my touch was enough. Lifting my other hand to her cheek, I gently caressed it as I smiled at her. "I know I'm a very lucky man, Mum. Many would say I don't deserve either of them, as much as I wouldn't deserve you."

Mum stayed silent until she was placing plates in front of us. This time, she left me for last, leaving a soft kiss on my cheek as she hugged me tightly. "I'm very jealous of your friend Loretta," she whispered.

"If I said she was like a mother figure, as well as a lover..."

Mum sat on my lap for a moment. "Mark, I only met her a couple of times, but I saw the genuine affection and love between the pair of you. And from everything she told me, you helped each other when you needed it. Sometimes all someone needs is a close friend. But if you mixed additional benefits with that, then it can sometimes be a good thing." She kissed my other cheek. "Eat up, your breakfast will get cold."

Sally couldn't be around me all day as she was far too turned on. Of course, she spent half the day in her bedroom, my phone eventually dinging with more than one message. She sent me a couple of nudes, her bare pussy looked incredibly wet, and then she sent me a video of her masturbating. It was actually very erotic and she seemed to know her stuff.

Mum popped out for Sunday lunch with some friends, Charlotte joining a couple of girlfriends for some Sunday shopping and afternoon tea. Whenever Sally did join me out of her bedroom, knowing what she'd sent me, she would cuddle into me on the couch, her hands never not touching my body. I didn't touch her too much in return, but the one place she didn't venture was my cock.

She only asked about what she sent me as Mum and Charlotte arrived home. "Did you like my messages?" she asked softly, her lips close to my ear as she snuggled into me.

Turning to meet her eyes, she dazzled me with a smile as I pulled her closer. "I would have loved to lick your pussy seeing how wet my little sister was," I breathed into her ear. When I nibbled at her ear lobe, I think she almost orgasmed from that alone.

"My panties were drenched," she told me, "I'm fairly sure the pair I'm wearing will be the same."