Saving the Doctor Pt. 03

Saving the Doctor

Part 3. The Games we Play.

Jon woke up the morning after the party to a bright ray of sunshine from a clear blue sky coming in through the window. The pristine smooth white sheets and the soft expensive mattress coddling him underneath.

He felt like shit.

The sounds of vomiting from the bathroom had woken hip up.

He had a headache, a parched mouth, and a bit of a sore back and knee. He squinted and turned away from the light. The party had gone late, he had drank way more than he had intended, it had been fun though, what time was it that everyone left again?...

The events at the end of the night dropped in from his memory and hit like a ton of bricks.

Fuck.

He took a split second to decide it hadn't been a dream. It had been all too real.

He lay there staring at the wall. Replaying the events in his head. The slow build up. Their hands under the blanket by the fire, the hot tub, the laundry room, her beautiful body, the feel of her skin, her kisses, her moans, feeling her affection and lust for him. It all washed over him, and it still felt good. He almost had to convince himself to feel guilty about it after the fact instead of basking in how amazing she was. The warring feelings stopped him from feeling the remorse down into his core like he thought he should. Instead, there just seemed to be an emptiness, a vacancy in his self-identity that he wasn't sure what to fill with, if he even could.

He felt like he could have laid there all day wallowing in his thoughts, but another sound of dry-heaving from the bathroom snapped him out of it.

He got up and opened the door to their bathroom gingerly.

Elaina was bent over the toilet with both hands on her head, holding her hair back. An open bottle of gravol was on the counter and an empty glass. He gave her a supportive rub on her shoulder, but without looking at him she told him not to touch her and get her some more water. Her voice sounded croaky and painful.

He went downstairs for two big glasses of water, handed one to her and helped himself to one of the gravols. He opened the cabinet and found an ibuprofen which was what he needed more.

She sipped the water carefully and then sat on the floor against the wall.

"Look at your beautiful mature fiance," she said sarcastically. "Getting drunk like a college girl and paying for it even though she should've known better."

"I had forgotten how badly your body reacts to hangovers," he said.

He had only seen it happen a couple times, but he remembered similar Sunday mornings when they were still just dating.

"Please tell me I didn't make too big a fool of myself last night," she said.

"What? No, honestly I didn't think you had gotten that drunk. I mean you were pretty competitive with charades, and you got really giggly and handsy for a bit there, like when we came back to the bedroom..."

"Oh yeah..." she said, clearly just remembering. "God I can't believe we did that. Do you think anyone heard us?"

"No honey, don't worry about it. In fact, I think more than a few people were happy to see you loosening up and having fun."

She gave him a concerned look, "Okay... Well I guess I'm relieved then. I was worried I had embarrassed myself in front of a bunch of colleagues."

"No way. I think it was a good party, everyone had a lot of fun," he said, putting his hand on her knee supportively.

He succeeded in getting a slight smirk out of her, and she grazed her fingers over his hand.

"I'm gonna go downstairs and find some breakfast, do you think you want to try any?"

She thought for a few seconds and then suddenly grabbed the toilet bowl again and pulled her face overtop of it.

"Sorry. Never mind," he said, leaving her alone again.

A slice of toast and a glass of juice later, and he was already feeling some life. It was a bigger hangover than he'd had in a while, but not unbearable. He started a pot of coffee, began wiping counters and sweeping floors, he washed all of the glasses. The physical movement felt good, and it kept him distracted. Thoughts of last night kept creeping back into his mind, but he willfully ignored them and tried to focus on the tasks instead.

The doorbell rang at 11:30.

Jeff and Grace smiled and said good morning, each with a coffee in hand. Their faces were a little washed out but otherwise they seemed to be in good spirits. They had come by to pick up their car and wanted to say thanks again and see if they could help clean up. He explained everything had basically already been done, and thanked them again for their help at the end of the night. They asked if he and Elaina wanted to join them for brunch on their way home, but he explained Elaina's current state in the upstairs washroom. They wished her well apologetically and left with another friendly thank-you.

He went back to the kitchen and started to think about lunch.

"Who was at the door?"

He turned around, surprised to see Elaina cautiously walking down the last few steps, and looking very pale, but at least she was upright and clearly trying to put on a brave face.

"Jeff and Grace," he said, "They were picking up their car and offered to help clean up and go for lunch but I politely declined."

"Thank you," she said. "That was kind of them though."

"Yeah, They're a great couple, they were a lot of fun last night." Jon said.

Elaina paused for a moment. "Well Jeff's certainly an excellent man. I'm not as certain about Grace, to be honest, but maybe she'll grow on me."

"Why's that?" Jon asked.

"Oh nothing really specific. She just... seems a little immature for her age."

Jon shrugged, "We seemed to get along okay. I guess she can be a little crass, but overall she's a nice person."

"If you say so," Elaina said. "Honestly I would've thought a man like Jeff could've done a lot better than her."

"Jesus honey, I know you're hungover but that's kinda harsh."

She shrugged, "I just don't know what he sees in her."

"They seem to love each other a lot, isn't that all that matters?"

She sighed, and said "I suppose," seeming to disagree with him but being tired of talking.

They had lunch on the deck. The fresh air felt nice and he wolfed down a huge sandwich that tasted incredible.

Elaina only sipped a half bowl of soup, but kept it down.

"I still can't believe you let them have a bonfire in that gross old thing," she said, shaking her head looking down at the fire pit on the lawn.

"They all wanted it, and they all enjoyed the hell out of it. What did you want me to do?" he said, in exasperation.

"That group wasn't the only one at the party Jon, though you didn't seem to notice from what I recall."

He closed his eyes and made an effort to control his tone, "Okay so more than half the people left at the party at that point wanted it. My point stands, what was the harm in it?"

"I was trying to put on an event with some class. Not a boyscout camp-out!" she said, crossing her arms.

"So it's not about whether people are happy? It's just about appearances?"

She glared daggers through him, then looked away, sipping her glass.

"Why can't you just be happy with how I want things to be?" she finally said, quietly but harshly.

He sat silent and angry for a few minutes.

"Do you remember saying anything to me while I was carrying you to bed?" he asked.

"You had to carry me to bed?!" she asked horrified.

He sighed, "Never mind....and don't worry, it was at the very end of the night. You fell asleep nice and pretty on a chair, you weren't passed out on the floor."

She crossed her arms, "Still. I can't believe I let Grace goad me into drinking that much."

"It was fine honey, honestly, you girls looked like you were having a blast, and you still seemed like the soberest one of the bunch, including Helen."

"Oh, thanks, I wasn't literally the sloppiest lush at the party," she bit sarcastically. "I was supposed to be a good hostess."

"You were. I actually think people enjoyed you as a hostess more after you'd had a few."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!" she stood up angrily.

"It means you need to loosen up, for God's sake," he replied.

"Right. I think you enjoyed how loose I was last night. No surprise."

She walked back into the house while he rolled his eyes and cleaned up his plate.

"At least the house is clean," she mentioned as they walked back into the kitchen.

"You're welcome," he said, glancing annoyedly at her.

She gave him another harsh look and turned away.

She closed the pantry and threw a half-empty bag of marshmallows at him.

"Do something with these. I still can't believe you stumbled to the fucking convenience store last night."

"Oh they're trashing up your pantry too much? They were overpriced if that makes you feel any better."

"They're disgusting, I've always thought they were. Styrofoam and calories and nothing else. Go roast them on your dirty fire and find a tent to sleep in tonight!"

She stomped upstairs.

He took the bag downstairs and turned on the television, snacking on the marshmallows. They were fucking delicious, her loss. He flipped though some channels, browsed through netflix. Eventually he took out his guitar and started noodling. That seemed to feel the best, the notes calming his headache. Eventually he laid down on the couch, feeling dead tired. However, now that he had finally stopped distracting himself the thoughts of last night's events with Carly creeped in again, as he feared they would.

Why didn't he regret it more? That vacancy of emotion was all that he could feel, except for slipping towards wanting her again when he remembered the details too closely. That tension hadn't just built up in a day. It had been building slowly, subconsciously, maybe in both of them. Coiled through him so strongly that the release had just been too sweet and gratifying.

What was he going to do? Instinctively he felt like he wanted to text her, but what would he even say? 'Hey we've barely known each other for a month but you should leave your husband and run away with me'...? It should seem like the most childish notion ever, but with Elaina acting like a piece of work today it was a tempting fantasy.

He finally threw on a movie and half-slept on the couch. Afterwards, instead of feeling relaxed he felt useless and too undistracted. He decided to force himself to go for a run. Something he'd been meaning to do more. He felt completely out of shape but powered through until he reached his limit half-jogging half-walking the last two blocks back to the house.

Tabitha waved hello from her front yard as he lumbered by.

"Good morning!" he panted, and forced a smile.

She beamed back cheerfully from under her hat and sunglasses "Hey! Gettin some exercise?"

"Yeah. Kinda overdid it though, I'm not in as good of shape as I used to be, evidently," he said, massaging his legs.

She giggled, "That's okay, I certainly couldn't tell. I've been trying to run more, but the dogs scare me. I ordered an elliptical though!" She said excitedly.

"That's great," he said supportively. "Your flower bed looks amazing, I'm surprised they're still blooming this late in the season."

"Aww thanks!" she said, then paused as if trying to work up the courage to ask. "Fun party last night?"

Jon looked at her in sudden realization that she hadn't been there. "Yeah it was. Too bad you and Brad couldn't make it."

"Oh, um, well yeah Brad's away like usual, but we didn't really... get invited," she said timidly.

"What? I'm sorry Tabitha, I don't know how you got missed."

"Oh... well, I mean Elaina called me to say there'd be a party, but it was just to make sure I wouldn't complain about the noise, and that my car was off the street so the guests could park... but that's okay. I'm glad you guys had fun."

Jon's heart broke seeing how rejected she looked.

He sighed, "Well thanks, but I'm sorry you weren't invited you should have been. Those muffins were delicious by the way, you can drop by anytime whenever you have extra," he smiled, trying to cheer her up.

She gave another timid smile, "Thanks. It's my mom's recipe."

He said goodbye and walked back inside.

He was sweaty and his legs felt betrayed by the run, but the endorphins and the feeling of at least accomplishing one small thing helped with his mood. He was ravenous then, and knew Elaina probably would hardly eat anything that day, so he decided to order a pizza. A huge one with everything he liked. He had a shower while he waited for the delivery, and it felt amazing. He brought the pizza downstairs and threw on a space thriller movie he'd been wanting to see. The first few bites of the pizza were like bliss. He laid back on the couch feeling refreshed, satisfied, alone and unbothered with everything he needed, like a bachelor in paradise.

That fact made him think, annoyingly, after a few minutes,...how unhappy was he really with his life? With their engagement? Would he really be better off alone? Even regardless of Carly and that looming sin. How much of his dissatisfaction over the past couple of months was really because of the stress of his job, and how much was instead because he wasn't happy with Elaina?

The grass is always greener on the other side... he tried to tell himself. It didn't seem to reassure him much. He tried to focus on the movie and scarf down more of the pizza.

Elaina walked in about halfway through. He glanced at her and turned back to the TV. Neither of them spoke. He wanted to ask her about Tabitha, but decided it would just lead to another argument. She took a small slice of pizza and sat down on the couch silently nibbling next to him. He knew she didn't like this kind of movie, but she sat back and watched anyway.

A few minutes after they were done eating she slowly slid into him and rested her head on his shoulder. He gradually, almost reluctantly, put his arm around her. It felt good. She slid her head onto his chest and he let out a sigh, leaning back and pulling her into him so they were half-laying down with her arms wrapped around his torso. This simple affection was like a small candle suddenly lighting up a dark cave. Her body felt good. Her companionship felt good.

The movie ended and he finally broke the silence as he reached for his phone.

"Want to watch something else?" he asked.

"Sure," she said, and they picked a drama from their list that they both wanted to see.

"Thank you for looking after the party after I fell asleep, and for cleaning everything up," she said.

He gave a small but appreciative smile.

"Thanks for... doing literally everything else, for working so hard to make it great. I appreciate it. Everyone did," he said.

She smiled and reached up to peck him a kiss.

As the movie started she sat up to grab a blanket, and then they laid down on the couch, her in front of him, spooning with her head on his arm, and his hand clasped in hers on her chest.

He relaxed into the comforting feeling of her body in his arms. Feeling like a fickle asshole for how he had been thinking about their relationship less than 2 hours before. He was happy for about 10 minutes, until the comfort and satisfaction turned to guilt. It had finally sunk in and started to eat away at him. He tried to immerse himself in the movie, but it didn't help.

The movie ended and they slowly found their way to bed. She was curled up far away from him on the other side, but at least he wasn't in a tent in the backyard, he thought.

Despite feeling completely drained, sleep did not come easily that night.

On Monday morning the world felt strangely normal again. It was as if his brain was surprised that the world wasn't on fire as he drove to work, but by the time he got to his desk and looked through his patient list, the normal routine of things had sunk in, and the craziness of the weekend was like a dream he could pretend didn't exist.

Beth walked in.

"Morning," was all she said as she walked up with a pleasant smile. She was wearing a form-fitting pink sweater-dress that only went about halfway to her knees. She looked incredible in it. She had pep in her voice and a friendly smile, obviously fully recovered from the weekend.

Memories of that night that he had been suppressing suddenly washed over him.

"Oh, hi," he said, clearing his throat. "How are you uh.. today?"

"Great!" she smiled, the look in her eyes seeming to notice, but actively ignore, his awkwardness.

"No changes to the schedule. Your first 2 patients are already here a bit early so I won't keep you."

He took a deep breath, "Okay sounds good, thanks."

She turned to leave and spoke over her shoulder, "Awesome party by the way."

He stared blankly for a second after she had gone, and then turned to his computer screen.

Yep. Back to normal...

Throughout the day, any time his mind had a few minutes to itself he thought about Carly, about whether to text her, and what he could say. Just before noon Beth announced a phone call for him from the pharmacy and he took two deep breaths and closed his eyes preparing to answer it, only for it to be one of the other pharmacists. Halfway through the afternoon he needed to call the pharmacy and again psyched himself up for it, only to get one of the other pharmacists again.

The day finally ended. It had continued to be a weirdly normal day, and he finished only slightly late.

Doug came by and gave him a pat on the back for a killer party and to make damn sure to invite him again next time.

Beth walked in again, "Well that's everything wrapped up. I'm gonna head out unless there's anything else," she said. She had been succinct and professional with everything throughout the day, almost abnormally so.

"Thanks again for the booze by the way, Jared and I really appreciated it."

"Oh no problem," he said.

"Okay, goodnight," she said, turning around quickly.

"Hey Beth," he said.

She very reluctantly turned around.

"Yep?" she said.

"I um... thanks again for coming to the party, and your help when you were there..."

"Yep," she said, looking impatient.

"But yeah... It went a lot later than we thought it would, and... I know I at least drank a lot more than I expected, and well, I was pretty drunk, I don't know about you but um..."

Her eyes seemed to scream Don't! but he continued anyway.

"I seem to remember, maybe, people were acting weird, maybe I was acting weird, I don't know how you felt, but I feel like maybe some conversations got uncomfortable. I just wondered if there was anything you and I needed to talk about."

She crossed her arms, and leaned against the wall. With her hips to the side, the curves of her body seemed to slither through the sweater dress.

"No, I'm fine. I mean, I was tipsy, but I remember everything, and I don't remember doing anything I regret," she said smoothly.

"Um, okay good," he said.

"And don't worry about yourself Jon, you acted like nothing but a gentleman to me."

He stared at her. Wondering at the implication of the way she emphasized that last word. Her words were friendly on the surface, but had just the subtle hint of acid, and maybe a glint of knowing in her eyes.

"Great," he smiled, not sure how genuine it looked. "Glad you had fun."

She flashed a brilliant beautiful smile back at him "Tons. Goodnight," she said, and sauntered out of the room.

He got home before Elaina and cooked up steaks. He thought he did a pretty fine job and sure enough she thought so too. She complimented him and seemed legitimately impressed. She was like a completely different person compared with the day before, looking cheerful and at peace.

He gradually figured out why, as she went through describing all the colleagues at the hospital who were raving about the party. So-and-so said this, so-and-so loved that, so-and-so thought she was the luckiest woman ever to have such a handsome fiance. He couldn't help but chuckle at that one, as she grazed her foot against his under the table.