Seasons 01: Cari & Milla Get Basted

The Seasons of Love book series follows a group of sultry elves in a slice of life adventure. Each book corresponds with a holiday or season.

Seasons of Love, Book 1

Thanksgiving: Cari & Milla Get Basted

by Teagan Cascade

Christmas Mountain, Late November.

"CARI CREAMBOTTOM! GET IN HERE!"

Cari Creambottom was distraught long before her supervisor's guttural scream rattled through the loudspeaker. Her pointed, curved ears drooped in shame. The slight Christmas elf knew she was in trouble after clocking in a full hour late.

"It was just a matter of time." Cari muttered under her breath. The stout elf sighed and cracked her pudgy fingers before hopping off her stool. She took a moment to glance up and down the serpentine conveyor belt. Her coworkers didn't move a muscle as they continued studying the endless line of wooden toy horses over the gentle hum of machinery. Her face grew sullen as she pondered. "What if this is it?" She asked aloud, voice cracking on the verge of sobbing. Cari scratched at her short, dirty brown hair. "What if today's the day I become one of those few incompetent elves fired from Santa's workshop?" Cari's tiny shoulders slumped at this possibility.

"I mean, forget the humiliation for a second. What would I even do if I get fired?" Cari continued the one-sided conversation as she strolled past the self-serve cafeteria. Cari wondered if she could endure the shame of returning to her family home on the other side of Christmas mountain. Then her anxious brain drifted to the alternative--self-imposed exile. Many elves that washed out from the Workshop banished themselves to a village on a remote part of the mountain. These untouchables were never heard from again. Cari shivered; a sick feeling churned in the pit of her stomach. "Santa's Reindeer, I don't even want to think about that." She decided, shaking the cobwebs in her head.

Cari noticed dozens of workers, a larger-than-usual crowd around the beverage dispensers. The line wrapped around the corner like a giant green caterpillar; each elf wore the same forest-colored jumpsuit with ruby red stitching accents. One overzealous elf climbed onto the steel counter and hoisted a cumbersome bag of coffee beans into the grinder. The scene was undoubtedly on-brand for this time of year. With the Christmas season officially looming, the production in Santa's Workshop would explode next week to accommodate the world's ever-growing population. Thanksgiving would come in a few days, and the elf workforce was set to shift into their usual extended shifts.

But Cari knew the Workshop's need for manpower wouldn't protect her from termination. 'I'd rather throw a bad engine overboard before I'd let it blow up the ship!' That was the saying of Mr. Merryton, her abrasive supervisor. Cari didn't fully understand the metaphor--and wasn't convinced Mr. Merryton did either. But that didn't matter. The only constant was Merryton's yelling for her to come to his office, presumably to issue Cari her third and final write-up for tardiness.

Cari dragged herself down the marbled floor as boxcars WHOOSHED along the rails suspended above. The open-aired factory towered for countless stories inside the massive Christmas Mountain. Though she wasn't the best worker, Cari loved her time in Santa's Workshop. The complex enjoyed several hours of natural light from the sky windows before the winter dusk crept inside this time of year. Then the tower's interior lights dazzled against each piece of machinery. She took the closest stairs and leaned over the side, watching the elves quietly assemble today's project, the classic wooden rocking horse. The conveyor belt spiraled upward at a methodical pace from the assembly floors up to quality assurance, where Cari worked, and off to final packaging and loading. She admired the whole lot's efficiency, even though she also admitted how amazingly shitty she found herself as a Quality Assurance Technician.

Marvin Merryton's office was near the main staircase. Cari always felt his lair was a little too close for comfort, his beady, judging eyes like two sharp emerald pieces of coal. She pushed gingerly on the door and met her boss's piercing pupils head-on. Marryton stared her down from his vantage point behind his messy desk.

"Close the door behind you." He snarled. His broad shoulders were flat against the chair, and one of his stubby fingers tapped with nervous energy on the thick oak arm. It seemed peculiar to Cari; Merryton usually played it more relaxed when berating his underlings.

As Cari closed the door, she started work on her excuse. Then when it didn't work, she'd resort to begging. When that didn't work, she'd try a deal of another kind, which related to the real reason she was late. "I can explain, sir." She started.

"Did you notice we're out?" He gestured to the desk corner where an empty mug sat. "We switched back to plain coffee this morning."

Cari breathed a guarded sigh of relief. "Yes, sir." She swung her hands behind her back. "We're out of the new eggnog we got from the Drow in our last trading session."

He shook his head with regret. "Once our guys started drinking the nog, productivity increased by almost 2%. It's an incredible blend of protein and caffeine."

Cari nodded with a smile. She could find little to agree with her boss on, but she knew all the elves had taken to the new drink. The sweet, filling cream had just the right dash of mint finish that tingled the tongue. Moreover, the eggnog seemed the only thing allowing her to focus better on her work. She began to wonder if ginseng was involved.

"I've spoken Madame Umbrow of the Drow Imperial Home Office. It sounds like they're experiencing a shortage as well. The Drow don't produce the nog, but she is willing to provide us access to the cave elves who do so 'we' can barter for ourselves. And 'we' actually means 'you.'"

"Oh," Cari blinked. "Cave elves? I thought the Drow *were* the cave elves." She asked with earnest curiosity as she inched her tiny feet to the chair in front of Merryton's furrowed brow. Cari tried to make as little noise as possible, and the faint squeaks of her no-slip soled boots did little to help. She kept her sparkling green eyes fixed on her boss's downcast face; she moved closer to sit.

"Yes, yes, we all know the Drow live underground." Merryton let loose an exasperated sigh. "But Madame Umbrow made the distinction, not me. It was so important to her to note that these elves were not a part of the Drow Empire that she said it twice, and--I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO SIT DOWN, CREAMBOTTOM!" He roared. His shout echoed against the shimmering silver walls as Cari jumped up to attention, stiff yet quivering. After panting for a moment, his face finally wavered, perhaps realizing his overreaction. "Go ahead and sit down, Ms. Creambottom. Do you have any questions before I send you out?"

"So," Cari started slowly, her shoulders tensed underneath the sudden burden of responsibility. "You want me to go to the Drow elf caves and talk to some cave elves that aren't Drow to give us more of her egg nog?"

"As astute as ever," His snide voice hissed through straight, thin lips. He rubbed his unshaven, portly chin, a feature indicative of so many Christmas elves. "Anything else?"

"Well," Cari rubbed her heels together as her legs dangled off the chair. "I'm a quality assurance specialist. Wouldn't one of our skilled buyers be better? Why me?"

"First, I wouldn't call you a specialist. I'm sending you because the line won't miss you," Merryton sneered. "Second, my conversation with Madame Umbrow led me to believe you'd be perfect for this mission. Maybe succeeding here will open up new paths for you."

Cari breathed a sigh of relief at Merryton's softened, nearly complimentary tone. Her ruby red lips curled upward as her chest puffed with confidence. She nodded with renewed enthusiasm.

"As you know, the Thanksgiving holiday begins in two days. Quality Assurance needs that eggnog to maintain the season's rigorous demands. We're depending on you, Miss Creambottom."

Cari grinned, elated. "You can count on me, sir." Rejuvenated, she turned to make a dash for the door.

"Another thing." He snapped as Cari grabbed the knob. "Don't think I've neglected that you clocked in at exactly 5:57 this morning. Consider this mission your last chance at working in Santa's Workshop."

"I understand," Cari gulped.

"Understand this, Miss Creambottom." He rose from his seat with a menacingly slow pace, leaning on the desk with both hands. "Either come back with more eggnog or don't come back at all."

Cari curtsied and left without another word, her boss's threat sticking in her chest like an icy dagger. Her back was officially against the wall, facing an arduous task that left a grave feeling lodged in her chest. She fought back the tears as she slumped down the stairs.

+++

"I've never even been off this dumb mountain." Cari frowned.

Indeed. Most Christmas elves can go their entire lives without seeing another elf race. Visiting the Drow elves required leaving Santa's Workshop Mountain's massive confines and descending to the sedges and shrubby tundra. Cari bunched her heavy green overcoat and cloak around her fair elven skin as she took careful steps on the loose rocks on the frozen ground. She quickly missed the warmth of the workshop when the bitter winds nipped at her legs.

"Let's see." Cari fished in her pockets until her tiny hand retrieved a silver compass. The wind nearly blew back her cloak's wooly hood before she used her free hand to block the assault. "There." Her large emerald eyes focused on a rocky fixture several kilometers in the distance.

It took Cari another few hours for her petite legs to close the distance across the tundra, where she met the first cavernous mouth of rocks. Then she had the shock of her life--Drow elves that stood guard. They wore the glistening armor the color of smoke that shielded their deep brown skin. Cari knew herself as short and stocky, even for a Christmas elf, but these male elves loomed over her by nearly 30 cm. She knew Christmas elves were smaller than their Drow counterparts, but seeing the discrepancy in person jarred Cari's sense.

Cari showed the pair her Writ of Passage with a trembling hand that granted her access to the Drow caves. The guard peered at the crumpled parchment with piercing crimson eyes for several moments before giving passage. As she passed, Cari could feel the guard's vision on her backside. Her face burned, and confusion stirred inside: She felt their eyes study every inch of her. She couldn't blame them, she thought. After all, it wasn't every day an unaccompanied exotic female came their way.

'But I wonder if they're undressing me with those eyes?' Cari thought, her face growing flush. Not that having two brawny Drow unpeeling her from her many layers to reveal her sweaty, pulsing skin didn't seem like a bad idea. But Cari knew the Drow guards were wholly uninterested. She considered herself plain and homely, even by Christmas elf standards. Her face was plump and cherub, with a thick round chin and rosy cheeks. "No elf wants me; Christmas, Drow, or otherwise." She smirked to herself as she passed through the swinging iron gates of the cave.

Cari's eyes swelled in awe. She expected a cramped, winding, and dark path. Instead, the stone road was wide enough for several vehicles. Every now and then, tri-wheeled bikes and trucks rumbled by, the breeze from their velocity whipped at Cari's coat. Pale, glowing white lights floated several meters above her head. "Christmas spirits, it's so bright." She gawked. "Are those lights magic?" She wondered aloud. The spheres of light appeared to float freely on the cave's ceiling. The Drow were known for their security and military prowess. The well-lit corridor certainly gave Cari a great sense of comfort.

For nearly a kilometer, the hall coiled and snaked in various directions. Down, to the left, then the right, then down some more. She eventually came to a medium-sized room with an oversized front desk. From the multiple doors and hallways spread out behind the counter, Cari assumed this room served as some kind of checkpoint.

"Hello?" Cari's timid greeting echoed in the enjoy room. She inched closer to the desk as the faint sound of snoring grew louder. "Hello?" Cari repeated louder. A boot-covered foot came into view as she peeked over the counter's ledge. She was forced to push up on her toes to look over. The body was decidedly female, with silky long silver hair and dark skin like the guards. The Drow's delicate hand draped across her massive cleavage that threatened to burst through her cream-colored tunic. Cari gave her one last chance not to be rudely awakened. Then she pounded on the hallowed wooden counter, And the BOOM startled even Cari.

"Ack!" The young Drow scrambled to her feet, flailing her arms to defend herself. "W--what? Who? What?" Her words spilled from her full red lips in a panic. Then her sparkling ruby eyes finally focused on Cari. "Oh," She smiled before rolling into her prepackaged spiel. Her facial features were slender and angular, with a beautiful and youthful vibrancy. "Hi. Welcome to the Connector Room. How can I direct your travel today?"

"I'm from Santa's Workshop." Cari said. "We're requesting access to the artisan village. Y'know, the one that makes the egg nog we traded for a few weeks ago."

"What?" The Drow's youthful face twisted in disbelief. "Christmas elves work around the clock this time of year. And it's almost December. It's surprising Santa spared even one of you for a simple eggnog run."

Cari shook her head. "I'm not that great of a worker." She admitted. "My boss sent me because I got in trouble."

"Oh, no!" Her frown appeared genuine. "What do they say you did?"

"Oh, I definitely did it." Cari admitted. "Tardiness."

The clerk scoffed. "Lateness? You Christmas elves are born, work, and die on that mountain. Everything you do is in that mountain. How can you possibly be late for anything?"

Cari exhaled with evident discomfort. "Oh dear," She gave an awkward chuckle. "Let's not go there. It's kinda personal."

"Okay, suit yourself," She smirked before making a slight gesture at the state of Cari's skin. "It's funny. I haven't seen a Christmas elf in years. I forget how red you all get when you're embarrassed."

Cari grabbed at her face in a panic. "Oh yeah. It's embarrassing to be late." She agreed.

But the Drow silently leaned over the counter with a discerning eye. "My name's Milla. Milla Mochawood."

"Cari Creambottom," Cari almost curtsied but figured she'd already embarrassed herself enough.

"Cute name, Cari. So now that we've been properly acquainted, you should tell me why you were late." She grinned. "I'm *unrealm* to you, and we'll probably never see each other again. You should just tell me what happened and get it off your chest."

"Oh my gosh." Cari grit her teeth. "I can't believe I'm about to do this." She clutched her chest as if she were about to faint. "Oh my gosh."

Milla grew impatient, and it showed in her voice. "Out with it, Christmas elf!" She snapped. "Tell me what ails you!"

"I WAS HORNY, OKAY?!?" Cari blurted, her face beet red. "My shift ended super late last night, and there was this video I didn't finish watching, so I watched it again this morning and--"

"Annnnnd?" Milla teased.

"I--my hands--they were--you know--occupied." Cari's voice wavered. She shuffled her feet, glad she was already underground. Now all she needed was someone to bury her.

"Okay. Okay." Milla threw her hands up. "I understand if you're bashful. You look like you're about to pass out."

Cari snapped. "It's completely normal to explore one's body. There isn't an elf in the world that doesn't visit XXXMAS-VIDS.COM."

"Um," Milla shook her head. "I don't."

"What?" Cari squawked. "How do you manage?"

"X-Marmet, of course." Milla shrugged. "It's the most viewed site in the tri-cave area."

"Wow!" Cari squealed in delight. Exhilarated, she went on. "Okay, okay, okay. I'm going to tell you another secret." She drew closer, enough to smell the earthy, peaty scent of Milla's soft skin. "It was only the second time I've touched myself."

"Impossible!" Milla said. "You look 22 at the youngest."

"I'm 25, actually." Cari sighed. "It's taken me quite a while to work up the nerve to try it myself. It's a sign of desperation, right? Like, it's the indicator that I couldn't find a male to fuck me, right?"

"Oh, no," Milla chuckled. "That's not at all what it means. But, wait," Milla's face twisted as the revelation hit her. "You're a virgin? And they're sending you to--" She chewed her lip in hesitation. "Why'd they send you of all elves to see the artisans?"

Cari shrugged.

She leaned her bust over the counter and eyed Cari's figure. "I see you're not carrying anything to trade except that ass," She flashed a sly smile.

"MILLA!" An older female Drow stomped from the room directly behind the desk. Her ivory-shaded hair whipped around as she pointed menacingly. "I've listened to you carry on this extremely inappropriate conversation long enough!"

"Madame Umbrow!" Milla snapped to attention. "I was just about to direct this Christmas elf to the artisan village through Torksburg."

"Direct her?" The elder spat. "Why don't you join her?" She looked over her subordinate's head to address Cari, "I've spoken to Level-Six Manager Mr. Merryton. Clerk Mochawood will escort and assist you in your bartering a fair price for what you want."

"Oh, no. Madame," Millia cried, trying desperately to hide her humiliation. "Don't you think that's a bit much?"

"I thought you'd appreciate engaging in a task at which you're quite experienced." Umbrow turned her back before she finished.

"Madame," Milla's face grew grave as she spoke defiantly. "Was that an order?" Her question stopped her boss in her tracks. Milla repeated. "Are you ordering me to 'barter' with the artisans? If that's the case, Madame, I'll need that order in writing."

Cari held her breath as the tension grew. She watched a silent rage boil upon Umbrow's face for several moments until the elder regained composure. "Not at all, Milla. I'd never take away your agency," Umbrow breathed sharply through her crinkled nose. "Feel free to simply escort our guest," Madame Umbrow slammed the door from which she came.

Cari allowed a few moments of angry silence to continue. The Drow girl stood erect, trembling with fists balled. Though she sympathized with the scolded elf, Cari had her own sense of urgency. "So," She whispered. "About that eggnog."

Milla's deflated face turned to Cari, cutting her eyes into a scathing glare.

+++

Cari followed Milla through another winding brick-layered path. The cave remained wide enough for both elves to walk side-by-side at least twice over.

"How much do you know about bartering with the artisan village?" Milla asked to break the short silence.

"Nothing at all, honestly," Cari admitted. "Why? Are they hard to deal with?"

"Very much so," Milla sighed. "Very hard, then very soft. Or so I've heard. An independent village of artisans shares a border with the Drow Empire. All they seem to do is barter and make things," Milla sighed. "Every time I turn around, some new food or beer is coming out of that place that the Empire or another nation of elves will pay for," She shrugged. "I don't know why we don't just annex them. But they leave us alone and vice-versa. They even give us freebies--sometimes."

"That's very nice of them." Cari nodded. "Such a tasty drink."

"I guess you can call them 'nice,'" Milla scoffed. "Their village is about a full day's walk via tunnel--mostly uphill, unfortunately. I don't have a vehicle. I've been authorized to find lodging once we get closer. I hope that's okay."