Secret Pleasure

I'd already decided that the next time I would see one, I'd run to my room and lock it, leaving the bitch to sleep in the living room. She'd have to send me photo evidence of the thing gone if she wanted me to let her in. But regardless, it wasn't only to keep a childish promise that I was going along with this now.

After giving her a fake smile, I wrapped my fingers slowly around her foot, moving my eyes to it. The touch of the fabric filling my palms, as her digits wiggled inside it, and the sight of my fingers around it, the feeling that would've had no effect on me a month ago, made my lungs shrink.

"Outta girl." Her amused cheer irritated me. "Start rubbing."

I took a deep breath, already feeling like I want to punch her. "Intending too, bossy-much."

She gave me a slight smile, before she laid back, resting her head between her crossed hands.

I started working my fingers on her foot, kneading my thumps into her meaty sole. I did that for only a short while, before I thought that I should take off her socks. Should I remove them, I mean...would that appear normal? Why wouldn't it! It was a foot massage after all.

I was already thinking too much about it, so I slid my finger in between her ankle and the sock and slipped them off smoothly, then did the same for the other, feeling the thrill of having the tops of her feet revealed.

"Good thinking." She snickered as her foot shook slightly in my lap.

"Yeah?" I said as I threw a sock in her direction, for it to land on her stomach, before she threw it to the ground.

I looked down at her foot. In my head I whispered a word I'd never thought I would say to describe a foot before: beautiful, Nora's foot was beautiful. Her toes weren't that long, just a bit... pointy, pink on the bottoms like her mushy soles. It felt good to look at them. If I'd given a compliment like that to Nora, she'd have probably just... raised an eyebrow at me, like I was saying something stupid.

I wrapped my fingers around them and closed my eyes, getting hot and bothered at touching the soft skin, as my thump dove in her meaty sole. A moan of pleasure ringed in my ear, "Yeah. Put your heart into it. Focus on my arch a bit, more pressure."

"You planning to order me around through it all?" I said as I looked at her indifferently.

"Pretty much yeah," Her grin winded, before she wiggled her eyebrows at me.

It showed clearly how much she enjoyed this. She'd shown the same excitement the first time I did this. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it too. But along with my excitement I felt a bit...subservient. I didn't have the same obsession with pride as she, but we were still from the same mud, and giving a foot massage just wasn't that normal.

I wasn't surprised that I felt a bit subservient at the aspect, but what still surprised me was how good it felt. It felt good, everything about it, having her feet in my hands felt good, watching them, as her toes wiggled slightly every now and then felt good, and I had no idea why.

As time went by, she instructed me every now and then on where to rub and to apply more pressure, but mostly she just focused on the show on the TV, which allowed me to focus on the thing in my lap. Minutes later I had something thud on my shoulder. I had a slim idea of what it was until I turned my head and knew for sure.

I'd never felt such a powerful urge to swoon and shout at the same time, as I looked directly at her sole, inches away from my face. I stared at it, at its wrinkles and pink skin, not caring about the fact she could look at me any second and see me starting at her sole as if it were some kind of melting chocolate.

Getting a faint smell of her sweat with her foot this close, I took a deep breath, sniffing deep into my lungs the scent I wanted to re-experience weeks ago. What the hell was this? I wanted to push my face forward, right into her sole, and take a big whiff. I wanted to feel those wrinkles on my cheeks. I wanted to do all of those things and the only thing that was holding me was Nora's hundred-year-old mentality, the fear of what would she think of me. That made me mad.

Slowly, I turned my head down to look at the foot in my lap, and called, "Nora."

"Humm?" She said indifferently as she kept her eyes on the screen.

"...Do you love me?"

"That a serious question?"

"Just answer," I said.

"..." She looked at me with a frown, like she sensed I was looking for trouble. "Sure I do, dummy."

"..." I took a deep breath, unable to look directly at her, and just let it out. "Then why do I feel like you don't..." I tried to find the right words. "You don't...respect me that much."

"What do you mean."

"Like...deep down, you don't respect me that much. Not as much as I respect you." The words flew out of my mouth, as it had been a long time since I wanted to speak them but was afraid. I guess I had some extra motivation now.

Her foot slid down slightly on my shoulder, not leaving it, but rested on the toes. I turned my head towards her and saw her looking at me with joined eyebrows. "...I didn't realize I have to respect you."

My face screwed as I stared at her with menacing eyes. "Well you have to...and you don't...and I wanna know why."

We held the stare for a moment, before she sighed and rolled her eyes, taking her foot off my shoulder and thudding it over the other one in my lap and crossing them at the ankles.

".........."

I waited for an answer, but she just stared at me, with narrowed, suspicious eyes. "Do you talk to Anny about me?"

My head tilted in confusion. "What?" I said, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing. But ever since you took that job, you've been...weird. Weird and...honestly a pain in the ass, more than you usually are. And this conversation of yours just...came out of nowhere, and I thought, you know..." She extended a hand in my direction. "She might be planting thoughts in your head or something."

"Oh..." I said, barley containing my anger. "So...Anny plants thoughts in my head now!"

"...I'm afraid so." She nodded.

Cause I'm a gullible child, with a feeble mind, and any idea that might come out of that rock-hard stupid brain of mine must be planted with Anny-driven-propaganda......Right?....RIGHT? My fingers clinched on her foot as my nails dug into her flesh.

"Oouch." She withdrew her foot from my clutch. "What's wrong with you."

"I'm not an idiot, Nora. When I say something, I actually mean it. And that's exactly what I mean...it's like...you think I'm...stupid or something."

Her eyes wondered in confusion as she tilted her head back, like I was saying something ridiculous. "So now it's my fault... that you're stupid."

"Nora."

"I'm just being honest honey, what do you want from me, to lie. Okay." She sat up straight and waved her hands around dramatically, talking with a bubbly tone. "Oh Lina you're so smart, even though you got our house stolen and our bank hacked, oh Lina you're so careful, even though you burned our oven twice..."

I crossed my arms, feeling hopeless more than anything else, as she repeated every fuck-up I must've made since we moved in together.

"Oh Lina you're so strong and firm and powerful, even though you'd lose your mind over the tiniest problems..." Her eyes flashed wide as if she'd remembered something " OH Lina you're so responsible and caring, even though all you do is laze around the house and let your girlfriend do all the work. Oh Lina OH ohhhhhhh..." she got overly excited rocking her head and upper body dramatically, as I sat there with a frown, waiting for her to finish.

The fact that she remembered them hurt me deeply. It wasn't like she was perfect...she had fuck-ups too. I just couldn't remember them, and that was the point. I didn't keep score.

I wanted to punch her. There was no hope of changing that concrete block in her head, about anything.

"Okay fine..." I paused for a second, feeling like I had to own up to at least some of what she said. "Maybe I have some faults, and don't always make the best...decisions--"

She snickered, as if to tell me I was understating things.

"BUT you don't have to...point it out to me every time." I whined. "You get so mean whenever I make a mistake."

"Yeah..." she nodded with a smile. "I have a temper, you know that."

That temper of hers was one of the main reasons she won most arguments. Whenever we'd be fighting, there would come a point where I'd know that I should either cave now or she would go ballistic, which was never a pretty scene to witness. But that last line she said, gave me some hope now. She at least admitted she had something she needed to fix. "Okay," I said unable to stop my lip from curling up in a hopeful smile. "So you...have a temper. Don't you think you should...change it?"

"Why should I change it..." she said, "You're the one causing it. It's not fair."

"..."

"I mean I don't ask you to tune down your stupidity and laziness do I...even though it sometimes...." Her hands clenched, making fists, as she imitated choking something. "Even though it sometimes gets on my nerves so much I want to punch you."

"..." I looked at her blankly, reminding her.

But I wished I hadn't, as her eyes widened in anger, as she raised a finger towards me. "Only once bitch..." she shouted, making me recoil back. "And I apologized for it remember?"

"Okay...okay." I said weakly, raising my hands in defense.

"And I told you not to bring this up again--"

"Okay fine, just don't get mad."

"I'm not getting mad." She raised her foot and slammed it back on my lap.

"Uh--" I winced from the impact. "Fine." I just looked at her feet and shut my mouth. There was no point in trying. All I hoped for now was to finish the evening. I shut my mouth and I wished she'd shut hers.

My hands came to rest on the top of her foot calmly, clinging it for comfort, taking only a glance at Nora. She was looking away from me, most likely thinking about what I said and having her thoughts agitate her further. I probably shouldn't have reminded her of that incident, since we had already agreed that it was behind us.

"The nerve on her," she said with gritted teeth, talking to herself more than to me. "With all the things I do for you and all the shit I put up with." She continued in a bubbly tone, mocking me. "The little princess gets all sensitive when I get angry at her for being so brain numbingly...stupid."

I forced myself to stay calm and take a deep breath. I kept my right to respond for later, when she wouldn't be this repulsive.

She took a deep breath too, probably feeling herself on the verge of a panic attack or something. "Just rub my feet. Just rub my feet I'm not in the mood for your bullshit."

Given how much I was mad at her, and deciding that this would probably be the last time I'd bring myself to give her a service like this, cause she didn't deserve it, I complied. Call it a farewell massage.

I wrapped my fingers around her foot again, actually having to hold it in place to stop it from shaking so much, and started rubbing. Her other foot soon flew out of my lab abruptly fast and landed on the backrest behind my head, shaking restlessly.

She couldn't have gotten this mad just from what I said. Something had to be bothering her for a while, and she ended up exploding in my face.

She was still babbling to herself every now and then, but in a low voice that I found easy to blur out. I sat there kneading her sole silently with a blank look on my face as minutes went by.

After a while I felt her toe prod the back of my head and heard her say firmly, "Who pays the bills around her bitch."

"You're the bitch," I spat, "Don't talk to me like that."

"Who pays the bills around here." She said.

I took a deep breath, then said lazily. "Us."

Show LINAS obsession with high life style that Nora provides.

"..." She gave me a cold look.

"What? I have a job--"

"An actual job, dummy. 4 hours a day you spend running your mouth with Anny isn't work."

"...Fine," I said. "Then you do."

"Who's making it possible for your ungrateful butt to live in such a nice apartment, with a lovely view like this?" She said, pointing her thump back at our big window.

We did live in a nice apartment, in a nice neighborhood. Although I didn't like the way she was asking for praise after she'd basically took a dumb on every part of my personality, I answered, "You do."

"Huh. Who buys you all your pretty, expensive clothes?"

I took a deep breath. "You do."

"Who allows you to drive around in a nice comfortable car, instead of having to hassle with public transportation? Who goes off to their job from 8 to 4 every day, to make sure that you need for nothing?"

"You."

"And when was the last time you thanked me?"

"...What?" I said angrily, truly confused. "Am I supposed to say thank you every day. It's a life style, and you should know how thankful I am without me having to state it all the time."

"Yeah sure," She nodded aggressively at me. "Be too lazy to even put in the effort to make me feel appreciated for the thing I do for your ungrateful ass."

"That's not what I mean--" I whined.

"Shut up." She spat, making me recoil.

"...You..." I said in a weak tone. "You shut up."

"The problem here aint me being disrespectful, it's you being a spoiled little brat who has everything delivered to her on a silver platter, and actually has the nerve to complain about it."

"I'm not complaining about it--"

"The only thing I asked you to do, was to take care of the house...the only damn thing. I told you, I'll take care of expenses, your ridiculously expensive...expenses, and you just sit at home and take care of the house. I take care of you, and what thanks do I get? You going to have a meaningless part-time job, chipping in a buck or two, and using it as an excuse to avoid your chores."

"I wouldn't have, if you weren't so mean and vocal about my every fuck up. I used to take care of the chores remember, but you made me feel stupid every time I did something wrong."

"Cause you didn't take it seriously," she took a breath to calm herself. "You think I liked staying over your head? No. But I did that cause when I left you to it, you did your chores so poorly it was like you didn't even do it."

"...I thought I did them fine. Your standards aren't my problem."

"......" She mocked my tone. "Your standards aren't my problem...you want me to do chores...your so unfair Nora, why don't you get that I'm a spoiled little princess who just wants to hang out and watch Netflix all day." She finished her little mocking act then looked at me with a disgusted grimace. "I aint your mother."

The mention of my mom brought a frown to my face. This fight in general reminded me of her, as these were the things we used to fight about the last couple of months of my stay at her house. It was one of the reasons why moving in with Nora had sounded so appealing to me back then. Aside from the fact that it would be a ton of fun, and that it was the logical thing to do since our relationship had reached that point, moving in with her served as an escape from my mom, who, for some reason, found it utterly ridiculous that I didn't want to get a job neither continue my education.

The day I moved out, the grin on my mother's face was bigger than mine and Nora's. I didn't know if she was that happy about how well my relationship was moving with Nora, or that excited about having me off her couch.

I moved out thinking that my generous, caring girlfriend, who loved me more than anything, wouldn't be as much of a pain in the ass as my mother. I was right, as Nora turned out to be ten times worse. It was a harsh realization that the both of them thought about me similarly, a lazy little brat. And while I only suspected that before, I knew it now.

But I was who I was, I couldn't change who I was. Maybe that was one of the reasons I fell in love Nora. She did treat me like a princess up until we moved in together, before these stupid responsibilities started creating problems. I thought she knew and loved that part of me, but it was obvious now how much it repulsed her.

"Puft..." She puffed to herself. "Respect," She said with a giggle. "Why should I respect you. What's there to respect. Brats like you don't deserve respect they deserve to be laid on the knee and spanked," she said. "That's what your mother should've done."

I gave a fake snicker, to show I didn't appreciate her joke, and all she did was look at me, with that same disgusted look. She shook her head at me, saying "I spoiled you too much."

She took her feet off my lap and shoved them in her slippers. She looked at me one last time. She looked like she had more to say. I knew she had more to say, but she held herself. "Instead of sitting there complaining about things you don't deserve, like respect, you should be thanking me--" She pointed her finger down at her feet in anger. "Fucking kissing my feet for the things I do for you. You ungrateful runt." She stormed up and walked to her room.

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