Secret Santa

"Christ on a bicycle! You did, didn't you?"

"Who me?" Donna smiled wickedly at me having turned up for work in the same clothes as the previous day, "He was hot. She wasn't really into it, but they're here on holiday and I enjoyed myself immensely!"

"Seeing them again tonight?"

"Fuck no! You know me, never go there twice! Bad sex is often not improved on and why waste the memory of amazing sex?"

"Donna, Caz, hurry up would you- the boss is in a shit of a mood again." Anton one of the sub-editors of the online news service we worked for ushered us towards the boardroom.

Donna was our arts, entertainment and fashion guru and had the most amazing sex life. I was jealous, but at the back of my mind, I knew I had a few more boundaries than she did. I took the job of sports editor almost a year ago. It was nice moving to a progressive online publication from the print-based conservative newspaper I had cut my teeth on.

"Team, thanks, bring it in." Jamie, our editor looked tired. He had taken off his glasses and was rubbing the bridge of his nose. We went around the table and explained the different articles we were working on. A few colleagues had dialled in from home which was more than acceptable, however, I preferred the trek into the office each day.

"Matty Andrews from the Reds has gone public about health issues with his youngest child on Instagram late last night. I was going to see if he and his wife might agree to a further interview." I contributed.

"Good work, Carolyn. Hope there will be something on the upcoming cricket test too! Hey, didn't your brother used to play for the Reds or something?

My brother. I sighed. I wondered how long I would be referred to as Andy Harrison's sister. Andy had been an amazing player over many years before retiring this season. He never received a suspension, won four Best and Fairest titles, married Suze, a stunning woman who has continued in her teaching job at a primary school in a disadvantaged area and produced four beautiful children. I had gotten my first gig as a sports reporter because I was Andy Harrison's sister.

Donna drawled on about some wife or girlfriend from one of the other football teams who was promoting a designer Christmas t-shirt to raise funds for the Children's Hospital. In this sports-mad city, I suppose it made sense to raise money by such means, but it always felt dirty to me, especially after Suze explained that so many WAGs did it only for an extra cut for themselves.

"Before we go, team," everyone groaned at Anton lengthening the meeting, "Secret Santas have been drawn and I'll hand you your envelope or email you your recipient over the next few days. Remember it's just a bit of fun. $20 limit, handmade is always awesome! Presents by Christmas Eve lunch please."

I sighed. Christmas was not my favourite time of year. The idea of playing happy families amidst chaos had lost its appeal many years ago.

"Carolyn," Jamie pulled me aside after the briefing, "Just find out if Donna's t-shirt thing is legit for me please."

"Gee, thanks, Boss. I'll ask Andy for you because no doubt he'll know."

"I wasn't thinking that! I thought you might use your investigative skills to sus it out, but if you want to use Andy..."

I never knew how to take Jamie. His marriage had ended over the previous year and his wife had taken his two children and moved north with her new partner knowing Jamie could not follow due to his job. Donna often reminded me to be nicer to him, but I did not know how to act around him most of the time, plus I didn't want to expose my desire for him.

Moving to this job straight after Christmas the year before I had only known Jamie as surly at best and found myself grateful that I had never been on the end of one of his temper tirades. It was such a shame as he was one of the sexiest men I had ever seen. I knew he was cricket-mad and had had a promising career in his teenage years before he decided to deviate into journalism. He was the epitome of tall, dark and handsome and until this year had had the ex-model as a wife and produced two beautiful children.

People had told me that Jamie had 'family money' which had helped him establish our online enterprise. I had been headhunted after Jamie had read a piece I had written in a newspaper that revealed a cheating scandal amongst two of the football sides who had been throwing games after placing large bets. I liked the ethos behind the organisation I now worked for and switching was, to me, a career advancement, even if my father did not believe it was real journalism as it was published online and not in a broadsheet, even though all of our local papers were now printed in tabloid format.

My father had been involved in junior football since before I was born. Andy, being the eldest, was encouraged to pursue a career in football after his skill was noticed from a young age. Whilst my mother had been a tennis player in her teenage years, she also had a fondness for music and encouraged me to learn the flute and take up ballet when I was growing up. This meant nothing to my father, who my mother jokingly referred to as a philistine, however when she died after her car was hit by a drunk driver when I was 15, any thoughts of careers in music or the theatre ended.

"Carolyn, your brother has not only made the State Under 17 team, but he is also the captain and I don't have time to run around after both of you on the weekends." He had told me when I informed him I had one of the lead parts in the school musical the year after Mum died.

I simply turned it down and became the dutiful daughter and sister following Andy around. Of course, I was always off-limits to his football mates, my father made sure they all knew that, so I was well and truly a virgin when I went to uni to study journalism. I had a couple of relationships with guys I studied with and some okay sexual experiences, but I was still living at home and Dad had made it clear I was never to bring a boy home and never to stay at his home either.

When I graduated and started my career as a cadet journalist, my dad tried to convince me to go out with one of Andy's teammates who had been caught with a small amount of pot on an end of season trip, telling me that the journalists would spin it that he was obviously a decent bloke because he was going out with Andy Harrison's virgin sister. I had to tell my dad I was not a virgin and he did not speak to me for some months.

Moving into a flat with a colleague was one of the best things I did. Nicki and I are still great friends, even though she now works only part-time having recently had her second child. In many ways, I was jealous of my friend. She met Enrico when she was covering a story and they were inseparable from that day onwards. I had never believed in love at first sight until I saw Nicki and Enrico's relationship blossom.

I can't say I've ever been in love. I've had a few boyfriends, but nothing overly serious. I've never been able to let my guard down I suppose. Most of my relationships started with sex and fizzled out when I realised that, not only did I have nothing in common with my partner, but the sex was not that fantastic either. At the back of my mind, I could still hear my father lecturing me as a teenager after Mum died, telling me that good girls did not have sex before they were married and if they did, they usually became pregnant, and no one liked an unmarried mother.

"Caz, Caz, Caz!" Anton had a huge grin on his face as he handed me a red envelope trimmed in green and white stripes with sprigs of holly in each corner, "I may have cheated a bit, but not only have I seen your doe eyes looking lustfully at Jamie for some months, he also needs to get laid, so I recommend you just give him a blowjob and consider Secret Santa delivered! No doubt Donna can give you some tips."

My mouth dropped and I was lost for words as Anton sauntered away from our desks having handed Donna her envelope too.

"Oh my God! Did he just actually say that? I mean, he can't... Fuck!" I thought I had hidden my desire for Jamie rather well. I mean, most of the women in the office looked at him with lustful eyes and why wouldn't they?

"Sprung girl!" Donna laughed as she opened her envelope, "Great, Crystal in IT. I'll get her a t-shirt or something."

"What on earth could I get for Jamie though? I mean, he's got everything!"

"Yeah, except for a woman! Anton's right- you two would be perfect together."

"But he's never going to look at me, I mean, his ex-wife was a model!"

"Girl, you've got curves hiding under those straight-legged pants and baggy blouses you wear! Anton's right too- Jamie really needs to get laid."

"Isn't that your specialty? I mean, you've done Anton, right?"

"Of course, honey, ages ago, but there was nothing to tempt me back for more. Same with Politics Paul!"

"So, I mean, all this sex, is it like, any good?"

'Honey, it's always great when it involves me! Seriously though girl, have you had sex since starting here?"

Donna loved talking about sex and I had held back, not wanting to admit I had issues.

"Of course." I sounded defensive, but I also hope I sounded convincing despite the lie.

"Caz, how old are you?"

"29, you know that."

"Isn't that too old to be lying to friends?"

"That obvious, hey?"

"Let me and Anton help you when it comes to Jamie. He'll be eating out of your palm and licking your pussy before Christmas."

I was so glad my phone rang and relieved it was my sister-in-law.

"I was going to ring you, Suze. Louis and Belle's concert is this Friday, isn't it? I've got it in my diary."

As much as I still did not see eye to eye with my father, Suze had brought me back in touch with my brother as they had produced the most beautiful children and I adored my nieces and nephews.

"Yep, 9 am. Listen, I'm in town trying to finish some Christmas shopping with Lily and Max, can I swing by for an early lunch? I think Lily needs some sort of space to let off steam and that little garden area downstairs sounds about perfect."

"It's hot outside today. You could always come up here and we could take over the boardroom."

"We'll work something out! Listen, I hope you don't mind, but I gave Emma Andrews, Matty's wife your number in case they wanted someone to do an in-depth article on baby Simone. She's just gorgeous by the way."

"I was going to ask you about that! Also, Tash McInnes's t-shirts?"

"Don't worry, Tash is one of the good ones. I suspect she's losing money on them and the kids' hospital is a great cause."

~*~*~*~*~

I heard Max crying before the lift even opened onto our floor.

"Aunty Cawowyn!" Lily ran to me as the lift doors opened, "Is this where you work?"

"Max wants a feed." Suze was trying to unhook her nursing bra and placate Max in the meantime.

I ushered them to my desk knowing Donna had left for a lunch appointment.

"You're a doll, Caz. Thanks so much." I was amazed at how quiet it was once Max was satisfying himself on the breast.

"Mummy got sushi for lunch, but I need toilet." Lily started marching on the spot, so I picked her up and walked towards the bathroom.

As we had finished up and Lily had spent several minutes inspecting the hand-dryer in the bathroom we walked out as Jamie was in the corridor.

"And who have we got here?"

"Have you gone shy all of a sudden?" Lily had hidden her head on my shoulder. "This is Miss Lily and she is my favourite niece because she's bought me sushi for lunch! Is it ok if we grab the boardroom for half an hour?"

"Sure, sure." Jamie was smiling and looked almost melancholy as Lily turned her head again. "And is Santa coming to visit Miss Lily?"

"I want a wace car and a cwicket bat."

"Good choices, Lily! Hey, Carolyn, I'll, um, catch you later."

"He's funny!" Lily laughed as we walked away, and I could not help to think how strange he really was.

~*~*~*~*~

I was at a press conference the Cricket Association had arranged a few days later as they announced a new captain for the summer after the previous captain had injured his knee and would be out for twelve months or more.

"Carolyn, wasn't it?" The new captain had sought me out after the conference. "Hey, say hi to Jamie for me. We played together in juniors. Such a shame that shoulder of his. Anyway, how is he? He must be loving the single life again. Geez, we got up to some mischief in our late teenage years!"

I could imagine Jamie as a player, both on and off the field.

"No exciting leads for me then?"

"Sorry, nah. Just tell Jamie Mindy's single still. He'll tent his pants at that thought! Anyway, better let you go. Tell Jamie I'll call him, and my wife and I would love to catch up."

Deep down I knew I had no chance with Jamie. He was so far out of my league it wasn't funny. No doubt he had plenty of women queuing up for a piece of him and there was plenty of him to go around. I could feel my nipples hardening as I thought of his muscled arms enveloping me in a hug. The thought of his perfect lips trailing kisses down my neck saw a wet spot grow on my panties.

I knew I had to put thoughts of Jamie Fitzgibbon out of my head and focus on doing a good job. Perhaps I would ask him if I could branch out and report on something other than sport for a while too.

~*~*~*~*~

"How was the presser?" Jamie stepped into the lift as the doors were about to close riding it with me to our floor.

"Yeah, good. I think everyone knew Brad Jenkins would be the new captain. He said to say hi, that he and his wife would love to catch up and to tell you Mindy is single still."

Jamie's scent permeated the lift. I almost willed it to break down so I could be alone in his presence.

"That'd be right." I glanced over to see Jamie shaking his head as he looked at the ceiling with a grin and could see Brad's prediction had been correct-- there was a definite tent in his pants.

~*~*~*~*~

Anton had placed a sheet of paper in the kitchenette in the office where we could write down suggestions for our Secret Santa. It was a clever idea. There was a column for us to write ideas for gifts and another where we had to indicate something about ourselves that we doubted our colleagues knew.

I chuckled to myself as I thought about writing I wanted an orgasm but knowing my luck I was receiving from Crystal and I did not go in for women and there was only one colleague I wanted to give me one of them. In the end, I wrote down 'Gin, chocolate, candles, bath products, movie tickets.' I thought that should give them a start. In the second column, I wrote 'Musical Theatre buff, used to play the flute and do ballet.'

I noted Donna had put down in her columns that she wanted a 'Ferrari, Christian Louboutin heels and an extra month's holiday' in one and 'I'm not a virgin' in the second, thus surprising no one. Jamie was yet to note anything in his areas which made buying for him that much harder.

"I told you, he needs to get laid! A blowjob will do, I'm sure!"

"Gee, thanks, Anton. I kind of like this job and would like to keep it for a little longer you know. Sexual harassment is not tolerated around here I've heard!"

"Are you harassing Carolyn again?" Jamie walked in and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"No, he's just suggesting, that's all."

"See, back in the day, you were able to ask a colleague out and not worry about being charged with sexual harassment."

"Oh, Jamie!" I laughed, "You can still ask a colleague out, it's just if you were to walk up to them, start undressing them and plan to perform sexual acts on them it would probably be frowned upon."

Jamie almost spat out his mouthful of coffee, coughing as some went down the wrong hole.

"I don't know Boss," Anton still had a cheeky glint in his eye, "I think a blowjob would be an awesome Secret Santa present, don't you?"

"Not if you've paired me up with Donna! I usually get given a mug or a pen or a Christmas tie."

"Well you'd better add to the list then, or else Donna may get ideas!" I said as I walked away.

~*~*~*~*~

Andy had been pestering me about Christmas Day. I knew he was spending it with Suze's family at the beach and I was merely being invited out of politeness. No matter how many times he told me it was Max's first Christmas and he would want me there, I still refused and told him I had agreed to work.

Jamie had told us it was not necessary to be in the office as long as we all had filed something that could be published on the day and on Boxing Day, I lied to my brother and told him I needed to staff the office.

"Would you come if Dad wasn't coming?" Andy asked me over the phone one evening.

"Oh, Andy. No, I really need to work, plus the money will be great! I'll be there Christmas Eve with presents for you all, don't worry! So where will the old man be then?"

"I think he needs to tell you."

"You know we don't really talk."

"Well, you should."

I let Andy have the final word as always. There was no point trying to remind him how Dad treated me as a teenager, and I was not going to explain the consequences of him instilling the fear of sex into me. For years I was sure I was going to get pregnant every time I did it because the only 100 percent effective contraception was abstinence. Nicki had helped me untangle some of my preconceptions, but it did not help that I had never had a partner who blew my mind as Nicki described her relationship with Enrico.

The thought of sending the call straight to voicemail when my father rang later that evening was tempting, but I knew it would simply result in more calls from Andy that would include more pleas for me to spend Christmas with them.

"Carolyn, love, how are you?"

"I'm fine Dad. How about you?"

"Well, um, that's why I'm calling..."

I sat up quickly as I envisaged Dad telling me he had cancer or some other dreadful disease.

"What is it, Dad? Are you ok?"

"Settle, settle, Carolyn! You always have been flighty like your mother. Now you know I loved your mother. I really, truly loved her and it has taken me a long time to get over her death."

My mother had been dead for almost fifteen years.

"I know, Dad. You worshipped the ground on which she walked."

"Well, several months back, I met Laura at the club and, well, we've been getting closer."

"That's nice to hear, Dad. You deserve some happiness." I was waiting for my father to tell me he was getting married. I had visions of a 55-year-old widow and did not want to picture anyone having sex with my father.

"Thank-you, love. Well, we should catch up for lunch sometime or something, but before then, I wanted to tell you, well, Laura's pregnant."

"She's what?" I could feel a puzzled look creep across my face. My father was 58 and had always been so conservative.

"We're having a baby together."

"Um, so is this like a miracle baby? Do I need to get a medical reporter looking up the records for oldest known mother or something?"

"Well, it's not that uncommon for a 38-year-old to have a baby."

"Shit Dad! That's like 9 years older than me and 6 years older than Andy. You are the father?"

"Yes, I am! She makes me happy. I think you'd like her. She's got a 16-year-old daughter, Trudi, who's just a sweetheart."

"You are not... surely..."

"Oh Carolyn, stop being so disgusting. Look, I admit I failed you as a father. When your mother died, I was lost. I had no idea and I was wrong. Laura's helped me see this."

"I just need time to process this, ok, Dad. I'll call you later."

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I texted Nicki to see if she was still awake but received no reply.

'How long have you known?' I texted Andy.

'A few weeks.'

'And you didn't think to tell me? Do you remember my teenage years? Do you remember Dad not talking to me when I was 22 because I told him I was no longer a virgin when he wanted me to be the virginal girlfriend of one of your teammates who was in trouble? Do you know what that does to a girl? At least he didn't ask me if I had a boyfriend when we spoke like he usually does because I might have actually been truthful with him and told him that I didn't because I've never let anyone get close enough to me and I still find the thought of sex pretty repulsive.'