Self Destruct

She was going to do it.

She was actually going to do it.

The very thought makes her drip. She moans and trembles with anticipation as the idea floods her thoughts.

Sara lay on her bed, naked and drenched in sweat. One hand is perpetually between her legs as she strums herself to the edge over and over and over again.

The screen before her shows her favorite type of porn. Women on the edge, desperate to cum, begging and begging for orgasm, then being denied. She whimperes along with them as she hits the edge again and pulls her fingers away, leaving her pussy aching and unsatisfied.

She breathes in deep and then exhales, giving herself a second to calm down before continuing. Having to stop like this was always so frustrating to her. She wished she could just keep going. Keep edging without stopping. Just rub and rub and rub without ever cumming no matter how hard she tries.

That was why she's going to do it.

She's going to blow up her orgasms.

It had taken her a long time to build up the courage to actually buy the device. Almost as long as it had taken to find where to buy one. They were hard items to get your hands on. Illegal in most places, and even if you found someone selling a Denial Drive, you had to be careful who you bought them from. Anything designed to go inside the brain would naturally carry with it some risk.

She had tried to be careful. She'd done her research. Read forums where people discussed where and how to find the drives and what sellers to trust. Finally she'd settled on a woman named Phoenix who came highly recommended and had a wide range of Brain Drives. Sara reached out, explained what she wanted, and a week later she had a small package on her front porch.

The package was disguised as some electronic gadget, but Phoenix had explained how to take it apart and find what Sara was looking for inside. A thin silvery capsule. It almost looked like a vitamin pill, but Sara didn't swallow this. Instead, that evening, she had pressed the strange device up inside one nostril and then gone to bed.

The feeling of it inside her nose, a strange pressure, combined with the knowledge of what it would do, made her squirm with arousal. She edged herself late into the night, occasionally reaching up to touch the silvery tip of the capsule, before finally pushing herself over into an explosive, satisfying orgasm. One of her last, she thought as she drifted off to sleep.

During the night, the capsule had released its cargo into Sara's nasal cavity. Nanobots that would be absorbed through her skin and into her bloodstream. They'd make their way up inside her head where they had one goal: find the part of her brain that allowed her to cum, and then wait for her signal to break it.

It was Friday night. Sara had waited until now so that she'd have all weekend to get used to the changes.

The...

Changes...

Being unable to cum.

Her heart hammered in her chest and her pussy throbbed. She had to pull her hand away again as that thought alone was enough to push her right to the edge.

In the corner of her screen, next to the denial porn, a small status message was displayed. The nanobots were active and had made it to their target. They had found the little bundle of neurons inside her skull that allowed her to experience that pinnacle of human pleasure. That blinding, rushing, overwhelming sensation that temporarily erased thought and left her a shaking, beautiful mess. It was the only source of relief from the burning, desperate desire she felt right now. It was her orgasms.

And she was going to blow them up.

Sara rolled over onto her stomach, pulled a pillow between her legs and started humping it. She didn't want to touch right now, she wanted to fuck. Men, women, it didn't matter to her, she just wanted someone she could throw on the bed and fuck. She wanted a lover she could please and pleasure until they were trembling and shaking and cumming their brains out. But only them. She wanted to make them cum so she could feel her own denial even stronger.

She could do it too. Make a call. Find a friend for the night. But to do that she'd have to give up some control. There would be a risk. In the heat of the moment, between passion and pleasure, she might cum by accident. She couldn't allow that. Not now. Not when she was so close. Her sober, satisfied, mind might not be brave enough to actually take what she wanted. Right now though, lust drunk, horny, denied, and trembling on the edge of an orgasm she would never feel, Sara knew what she wanted and she knew she would have it.

Just not quite yet.

She wanted to savor this time a little more. Right now she still had her orgasms. Right now she could still cum if she wanted to. All she had to do was reach for it and an orgasm would be there for her.

She could cum.

She chose not to.

She wanted to remember these moments later. She wanted them to be vivid and clear. When she was trapped on that edge, stuck in a place of perfect denial without even the possibility of release, when she was horny beyond anything she had ever felt before in her life and she really, truly, desperately wanted to cum, she wanted to remember the times when she was able to, and chose to deny herself anyway.

FUCK

Sara rolled back over off of her stomach. She couldn't even hump the pillow anymore. She was so fucking close, and this was exactly the kind of fantasy that could always push her over the edge... Except this time it wasn't a fantasy.

She lay on her bed, her legs spread wide as her sex gushed and throbbed. Her sheets were drenched in sweat and arousal, her room smelled like sex, and her poor, needy pussy begged and begged for an orgasm. It screamed and screamed at her to let it cum, please PLEASE just let it cum. She basked in the burning sensation of its pleas. The tightness deep in her gut, the flush in her cheeks, the agitated anxious feeling of arousal that was so soooo intoxicating to her. This was why she would never give her sweet, weeping pussy the release it craved. This feeling was just too good. No orgasm could compare to this.

Her clit was a tiny diamond at the top of her pussy. So flush with blood it was painfully hard. She let her fingers graze across the sensitive nub and gasped at the feeling. It felt incredible. She wanted to let go of her restraint and just attack her swollen, aching clit for all she was worth, but she still had her orgasms so she couldn't do that yet.

Of course... She could change that.

Sara's eyes flicked to the nanobot status message. Was this the time? She wanted so badly to cum, desire and need burned more strongly in her than she'd ever felt before, but that was what she had intended. To bring herself to the point of desperation, and then lock herself there and throw away the key.

More than anything she wanted to touch herself. Her fingers twitched, aching to reach out and service her abused, but still dripping nethers. Her hand moved, almost involuntarily towards her pussy, but she stopped it. Instead, her hand hovered over towards the screen and she found herself tapping on the nanobot status indicator. It opened a larger window with a number of different readouts. She saw a scan of her own brain that showed a dozen red dots clustered around a small group of neurons.

Below that readout, a large red icon read, "initiate primary function: orgasm termination". Sara's finger hovered over the icon. This was the last barrier. The small gap between her finger and that button was all that protected her orgasms from obliteration. Her pussy absolutely drooled at the idea. She felt her heartbeat thundering through her clit.

She could still cum. Her fingers floated just above the button. She hadn't done it yet. She could pull her hand away, reach down to her pussy and bring herself to an amazing, mind bending orgasm, and save this all for another day. Did she even really want this? Being trapped like this, always horny, always wanting to cum and never being able to? Part of her burned for that. Part of her wanted it so badly, even if she knew it wouldn't really work that way. Sure she wouldn't be able to cum, but even when she was on strict denial, she wasn't always horny. Other emotions found their way to the top. She got angry, or tired, or happy and would briefly forget her arousal. She would even go days without thinking about sex. It wouldn't be that different.

...She'd just never cum again.

And she could edge. She could edge as long as she wanted. Hours and hours. She could edge all night. She could ride that pleasure and never worry about losing it. She could have sex, or get eaten out, or fingered, or use her vibrator, or get high, or go to an orgy, or touch herself in the car, and she would never, ever, have to worry about losing her edge. She could do anything she wanted and pleasure could be hers forever.

Sara's breath caught.

She pressed the button.