Self Love Central

"You guys all did great. I enjoyed the show!" Jalen joked while exhibiting a sly grin. Snickers abounded by new friends eager to share a laugh over what they had done.

"We're so cool. Think of all the losers masturbating alone in their bedrooms," Hailey remarked before offering an exaggerated scoff.

Ethan laughed. "I know! Like, I actually kinda can't imagine doing it by myself anymore..."

Shannon's eyes widened in an expression that was now familiar to him. "I knooow," she cooed.

It was clear to Ethan that each of them had experienced a kind of catharsis, being launched from a place of deep self-consciousness and reservation into an incredible world of empowerment. He could never have imagined how he ended up feeling at that moment: a result that could only have come from such a dramatic and challenging experience.

They filed onto the subway platform and got on the train which then sped off and rattled with the same intense energy that seemed to be buzzing through their minds. His new acquaintances took a seat or stood by the doors, some of them taking out their phones and tapping away excitedly. Ethan imagined they were reporting back to someone they confessed to about where they were going, expressing their shock at how rewarding the experience was.

As the train headed off through the city, his neighbors trickled off one by one, offering simple waves to each other and expressing the hope to see each other again at another event. Ethan soon found himself alone and settled into a seat, observing all the strangers that surrounded him. He smiled happily to himself; a smile he felt they couldn't understand -- one that so few could.

***

Nearly a month passed before Ethan could execute his plans to show up at the next meeting of Self Love Central. This time, however, he aimed to merge himself into the usual crowd; those with experience who had already been to the introductory event.

When he arrived, he found several people already gathered by the door to the space which was still locked. They appeared to know one another, chatting excitedly about the things they'd done since the last time they met. As he approached, a chipper, outgoing young woman excitedly asked his name, realizing that he was new to the group. Her eyes sparkled and her long brown hair was full of curls, full of life.

"I'm Ethan," he said, holding out his hand.

"Mara," she said happily as introductions continued around.

Ethan smiled and nodded to Mateo who leaned nearby against the wall. "We went to the same introduction recently," Ethan said, welcoming him into the fold. The rest of the group eagerly introduced themselves.

Little by little, more people arrived and two more familiar faces were among them. "Hi, Piper. Hi, Shannon," Ethan said.

"Hey Ethan!" they both replied with a smile.

He felt a glowing feeling inside; the sense of trust that they had formed came rushing back. Ethan recalled seeing them in their most private and vulnerable states, and they him, and yet both had returned for more, seeking that same taste of freedom they had experienced together. Nick soon arrived and the crowd reached a size significantly larger than the one he had first attended, yet Ethan felt no increase in intimidation. Instead, he wondered who else might attend, having been as hooked as he was.

Ethan imagined what the second time would be like: skipping past that whole pesky phase of awkward discomfort and diving straight into a full and total embrace of all the benefits of an open and confident expression of sexuality, with no judgment or fear. He craved it instinctively; it felt as if the anticipation of it was already transformational. All the doubts, guilt, and fears that he had lived with his whole life regarding his sexual side seemed to recede wonderfully into the distance.

Harmony and Luca arrived a few minutes late but quickly apologized and welcomed everyone. Several members of the group hugged them, expressing great enthusiasm toward their mentors. Ethan felt himself becoming a part of the group as the door was unlocked and they began to file inside, each of them ready to bravely give life to their desires and move toward release together with loving compassion.

This was now his support network -- it was his tribe now, and, as the door closed behind them, he couldn't help but feel that at the same time a whole new world was opening up.

***

Would you be brave enough to join Self Love Central? What do you think your experience would be like? I'd love to know! Please click over to my bio and use the contact form to share your thoughts.

- SolarRay