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"I wasn't trying to hide anything from you, I just didn't know what to do until I had more information." she shrugged. "Are you upset with me?" she asked, bowing her head
"No, of course not! I'm upset with myself, Saoirse. For not realising something was happening to you." Neil said quietly, looking down at his hands. "Thank you for telling me." he said sincerely. "You didn't have to. Like you always say 'it's your body'." he said, putting his arm round her and squeezing her in a brief hug.
She glanced at him. "Yeah but it kind of affects you so..." she shrugged.
He smiled awkwardly before clearing his throat loudly, turning off the light in the car and sitting back in his seat. "I'm always here for you, Saoirse. I can't promise we'll always agree with each other's decisions but I've got your back." he said. "I don't want you to feel like you have to face things like this on your own."
"Thank you. Same goes for me, Neil." Saoirse said with a smile.
They sat in the dark, the wind jostled the car and Saoirse listened to him breathing until he spoke again. "What about your surf lessons? Are you ok to be doing that?" he asked.
"Yeah, I can do everything as normal. I just have to take it easy for a week or 2 after my surgery." she said. "But until then I can do my surf lessons, you can throw me over your shoulder and run down sand dunes," she said in a sing-song. Neil laughed. "We can still have sex," she said softly. "There's nothing different to how things were an hour ago apart from that you know about it now." she smiled at him in the dark and reached over for his hand.
"Ok. I just...Ok. If you're sure. And if you're not, that's OK. We can cancel Surf School or..." he rambled.
"Neil," Saoirse interrupted softly, clutching his hand and turning towards him. "It's fine. Trust me." He entwined their fingers and lifted her hand to kiss it. They sat facing each other in the dark car without speaking until Neil's phone bleeped with a text from Emma.
They drove back to the Air B & B and peeled off their layers as they walked into the kitchen. "Just in time, we're about to watch The Matrix on Netflix." Jay said. "We saved you a space." he nodded to the empty side of the sofa.
Neil boiled the kettle "Anyone want tea and a bis...?" he asked.
"No, there's wine here." Emma interrupted loudly, holding up her half-full wine glass.
"No thanks, mate." Jay said. Mike shook his head. Saoirse raised her hand, Neil kissed her discretely and gestured for her to sit down on the sofa.
Neil brought the cups over to the sofa and handed Saoirse her tea and a biscuit before sitting down beside her and leaning his arm across the back of the sofa. Saoirse curled her legs underneath her and relaxed, leaning into him.
"Eh, hello? Where's my biscuit?" asked Emma, noticing they were eating them.
"No, there's wine here!" Neil replied mocking her voice. The others laughed. "They're on the counter if you want one, Em." Neil said. She shook her head.
They drank their tea. Not long after the film started Saoirse felt herself getting sleepy and then she felt the cup being taken from her hand. She opened her eyes to see Jay looking sympathetically at her. She sat up and shook her head. "Sorry folks, I'm gonna have to hit the hay." she said softly with an embarrassed laugh. Neil stroked her back and smiled lovingly at her. She stood up and kissed him quickly as she walked round the sofa. "Night night, see you all tomorrow." she said.
They each replied with variations of "Good night" and Saoirse went upstairs. She got ready for bed and crawled under the covers, falling asleep in a matter of minutes. Tired from a day of fresh, sea air, learning new skills and building bonds.
